


Embers under the snow

by Caroaimezoe



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Yakuza, F/M, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Italian Mafia, M/M, Turtlecest, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-02-17 05:41:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 97,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13070295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caroaimezoe/pseuds/Caroaimezoe
Summary: Raphael Senzi was the king of his high school and in perfect control of his life, until the arrival of this new student who seems determined to dispossess him of everything.





	1. The rookie

**Author's Note:**

> Illustration: Ninjazure  
> Beta: Kerry-Anne

 

**__ **

**_January. Office of the principal: Mr. Fitzpatrick. Friday, January 13, 10:30._ **

 

Raphael looked with the utmost indifference at the man in front him. It had been a long time since he’d been impressed by him. In the past five years, he’d been in the exact same situation at least three times a week. He listened to the accusations, reproaches and nothing more happened. It even, he thought with a smile, seemed to increase his popularity with the high school girls. As if he needed it! His enviable position of captain in the basketball team, his title of champion of the wrestling team, his red Ducati and his good-looking appearance were enough to make the young ladies’ hearts race. His green eyes shone with irony at the man's stiff face. As usual, he’d get away without a scratch. Nobody could do anything against him. He was untouchable.

““M. Senzi, you understand that we can’t tolerate this behavior anymore. Our establishment has an excellent reputation, which you compromise with your actions. The classes started again on Tuesday. You broke one of your teammate’s nose on Wednesday. You were caught smoking on the school grounds on Thursday and while you were in your Spanish class this morning, we searched your locker for drugs. For the second time. Out of consideration for your family, who’ve been with us for seven generations, we didn’t ask for police intervention. Mr. Peterson and I have discussed things and we blame the loss of the state championship last November to your unhealthy lifestyle. We’re expelling you from the basketball team. Consider yourself lucky that we didn’t expel you from school! Your father may pay for you, but we can’t condone this kind of attitude.”

“The search was illegal! And anyway, the loss of the championship has nothing to do with me! The team is composed of wimps! You wouldn’t succeed without me!”

"That's what you think! When you left my office last Wednesday, I met a foreign student, who was extremely promising. His team won first place in hockey, basketball and football, and coincidentally he’s the same position as you. He’s a charming young man, whose academic and athletic performances are impeccable, quite the opposite of you. His file doesn’t reflect any offense or offenses. This is the kind of student our school wants to honor. Not like you. You’re also expelled from the wrestling team. You’ll only be able to rejoin the teams once you have improved your behavior. No violating our honor code and increasing your average to at least twenty percent. Right now, you’re only doing well mechanics, art, Italian and physical education. That’s not how you’ll graduate. We demand an immediate an immediate improvement of your English classes. You can go, Mr. Senzi. Mr. Walker’s waiting for you in his geometry class.”

Raphael left the principal’s office and violently kicked the obstacles that stood in his way. How dare they kick him off the team! He was the best! Moreover, the way in which the bastard principal had talked to him, made him darken in rage. A “warning” from his father would settle everything. He’d return to the team and he’d receive an apology. But he was reluctant to do that. He wanted to be respected for himself and not because his father was a Sicilian mafia boss.  Also, if he told his father, he’d have to explain what had been found in his locker. He’d better not say anything if he didn’t want to receive a lecture, which might be a lot worse than the one the principal had given him.

He was going to settle it himself in his way. He was going to find the new star pupil and teach him not to get in his way.

He didn’t have to search long. He sat in the same place at lunch, surrounded by his teammates. After all, he hadn’t officially been expelled from the team yet. Nobody knew about it. He had until four to make the newbie understand that it was HIS territory here.

As if nothing had happened, he vaguely listened to his best friend Casey recount his plans for the weekend: fucking his girlfriend, April, for the first time. In fact, the same thing had happened on the weekends for nine months. April was fierce, but Casey was convinced that she was starting to crack. That was the concern of many boys in high school. The students at their school often had fathers or brothers, who were protective of their virtue. He could understand. If he had a sister, he’d do the same thing. Fortunately for him, his girlfriend, Lisa, was a lot less understated than April was.

Raphael had taken Lisa’s virginity in September. In fact, she was his eleventh trophy. Before her, there’d been Elena, Sofia, Vittoria, Adriana, Maria, Eva, Chiara, Livia, Bianca and Adriana. He wasn’t sure about the order and if he’d forgotten about it. He always stayed with them for between 3 weeks and 3 months, depending on how much they amused him. They were naturally all of Italian origin, so in spite of everything he didn’t know what family tradition. His father had warned him against libertinage and fathers or brothers, who could seek revenge, following the deflowering of these girls from good families. He didn’t give a damn. Lisa was breaking the record, having been with him for 4 months now, but he was starting to feel weary of her. She’d been taking their “relationship” too seriously for some time now and had been trying to get him to celebrate Christmas with her family and she was constantly harassing him about the spring ball and the Prom. He didn’t know where he’d be in June. Lisa was pretty, on the cheerleading team (which was almost forced by his own position) and captain of the women's volleyball team. She had a gorgeous body and if things had lasted this long it was for that reason and also because she wasn’t too overwhelming so far.

Lisa and April made their way to their table, carrying their trays. They chatted passionately and chuckled. Raphael wondered what was so funny. Casey grinned at his girlfriend and asked them why they were laughing.

“We were laughing, because of Mrs. Bouchard, the French teacher. She almost fell over when she saw the new student this morning,” the redhead said.

Raphael turned his head at the mention of the word "new student," thus avoiding Lisa's kiss.

“Why?”

“It’s Apollo himself. In addition, he’s French-speaking. He’s been living in Montreal and he told us more about himself. He was born in Japan, but he lived in England and then in Canada because his mother was in international diplomat. He has a really cute accent and he looks super sophisticated. All the girls in the class were swooning.”

Raphael didn’t like that at all. He was the womanizer of the school with the great physique.

 

“Is he Japanese?”  Raphael asked.

“I think he said he was a quarter. His name’s Leo. That’s not really Japanese if you want my opinion, but it explains his black hair and his slightly almond shaped eyes, but they are blue instead of brown. He’s also very good at martial arts. It’s been his passion since childhood. He loves sports. He said he was going to be on the basketball team. It's strange. I thought he had to pass selection, right? In any case, Mrs. Bouchard drooled on his desk.”

Raphael almost broke the fork in his hands and said, “I think he looks like an arrogant son of a bitch, if you want my opinion. April, show him to me when you see him. I want to see him.”

April and Casey exchanged confused looks. Raphael wasn’t usually interested in people, who weren’t pretty girls or who weren’t on a sports team.

The fork almost folded in his hands, but he didn’t answer the question directly.

Lisa uttered a small, victorious cry and said, “There he is. Do you see the handsome dark-haired boy with Elena?”

Raphael didn’t immediately hear the word "handsome" his girlfriend had used. Jealousy had overwhelmed him. Not just the word, but also because of the mention of Elena. Of all of his girlfriends, Elena had been the one he preferred. She might have lasted a little longer until he liked her enough to become Mrs. Raphael Senzi. But the stupid girl had become pregnant. Nobody in high school knew about it. Raph's father had tried to force him to marry her, but he’d eventually paid for a private abortion in August, after Raphael had absolutely refused to marry her, despite all of the paternal pressuring. He was only 17-years-old at the time and didn’t want kids at such a young age. They therefore, broke up and he was with Lisa about two weeks later. Since then, he always had protected relations. Still, it bugged him seeing Elena “quickly” parading with someone else.

He scrutinized his rival with a sharp eye. The bastard was really handsome, he admitted, but that was no reason to come and possess what was his, whether it was Elena or the position of captain. The girl seemed happy and to admire Leo and Raphael couldn’t stand the show a minute more. He abruptly stood and approached the couple, who’d sat down at a table and who were by themselves.

Raphael tapped the new student’s shoulder. Leo turned, his blue eyes calmly studying Raphael and to Raphael’s rage, he noticed the boy was unimpressed. The newcomer was even cuter up close, but with his stylish haircut, his drawn lips, his athletic body, his fashionable clothes and his eyes the softest color of forget-me-nots, he couldn’t be a challenge for him. He even ate that shit of rolled fish. Sushi. The boy was clearly gay. One couldn’t have such a beautiful face and not suck cock. Elena, the poor idiot, was clearly just a beard. He couldn’t be a real athlete with his barely 200 pounds. He’d dishonor his team and his school that Raphael’s family had been attending for seven generations.  Raphael thought back to the principal’s words. He’d led his team to the championship? Okay. Raphael could admit that the fag knew how to skate. Because it was clearly what it was: one of those queers, who showed off on the ice in his sparkling attire. Raphael was so lost in his furious thoughts that he jumped when the stranger spoke to him.

 

“Yes?” Leo said.

Raphael perceived the annoyance in the interjection and just lost it, which often happened.

“We don’t have a figure skating team here. Go back and dance at the YMCA, where you come from!”

Leo raised his black eyebrows puzzled. Then, while Raphael was still furious, the blue eyes shone in amusement and Leo said, “Well, I was told that the Americans were rude, but I didn’t want to stereotype. Maybe there’s truth in that statement.”

Raphael nearly choked on his saliva. Had he just been scoffed at by the newbie fairy with the effeminate accent in front of Elena and all of the others within earshot?

Raphael replied through clenched teeth, “Basketball and girls are not for you. Go get bent at a school in Greenwich Village, but this place isn’t for you. It’s my school, the girls are mine and it’s my team!”

The new student smiled mockingly and said, “Oh! I realize now why you’re so aggressive! You were the basketball captain and just got kicked off the team. And I was begged to save the high school’s honor!”

He responded in a loud voice, his exotic accent surpassing the surrounding noises and attracting the attention of more than half of the cafeteria.

Raphael was ashamed for a moment. He’d NEVER been publicly humiliated before and he didn’t know what to say anymore. He clenched his fists, ready to hit. He knew that a public altercation would worsen his problems, but he couldn’t let the affront go unpunished. His cell phone suddenly vibrated. He ignored it, still trying to find out if he was going to verbally or physically attack the newbie.

“Since you seem incapable of giving an answer,” Leo continued. “Perhaps you should answer your phone. It might be urgent! Who knows if Bolivia decided to make embargo cocaine? You should get provisions, although you should maybe slow down your consumption of it. I doubt your personality can afford to become even more atrocious! Stay on steroids. Who knows, if you're lucky, there may be fans in Greenwich Village for fallen muscular basketball captains?”

That was the last straw. The son of a bitch had signed his death warrant. Raphael didn’t care if it was public. His affront’s blood would now be washed in the snow.

Raphael attacked with his fists, but was stunned to meet emptiness and was even more floored when each of his movements were deftly avoided by the raven-haired boy. Then, the new student clever attacked him behind the knee and sent him to the ground.

“Sorry. I don’t have time to play with you. I have a lot of things to do and my schedule didn’t include fighting with a macho brute. Are you coming, Elena? I want to show you this book I was talking about in class at the library.”

 

Elena delightedly took the arm extended to her, without glancing at the boy she’d been madly in love with seven months earlier.

Raphael had stood up. The boy hadn’t hurt him and had only dodged him with disconcerting ease. He couldn’t risk trying to hit Leo again in the middle of the cafeteria and find himself still beaten on the ground.

He bellowed, “That’s it, fag. Hide. We’ll meet again!”

The other student turned around and said sneeringly, “I’m the fag when I have the prettiest girl in my arms? I don’t think so. And I’m counting on meeting again. I don’t regret coming here. I’m having too much fun. Try not to get too bored after class. I promise I’ll think about you when I’m training with my new teammates.”

Leo disappeared, while his laugh echoed in Raph’s ears. Raph felt a hand behind his back and turned as if stung.

Casey was next to him. “Whoa, Raph,” Casey said. “It wasn’t clever being so aggressive to a guy you don’t even know! In any case, it’s not anyone, who…”

“Shut up, Case!”

Casey lowered his voice and said, “What’s the story? You were fired from the team? And the coke thing? I thought you’d stopped! You know what the coach said!”

“Leave me the fuck alone!”

Raphael’s phone continuously vibrated since his altercation with his rival. With exasperation, blaming the untimely vibration for causing him to lose focus during the brief fight against him, Raphael looked at the caller. He turned pale. It was his father. When his father telephoned him, it was never to inquire about his health. It was either to berate him when his escapades had been reported to him or it was for "business". Since it was noon, it was probably for the former reason. Raphael nervously ran his fingers through his long brown hair, the waves of which fell to his face. He couldn’t physically bear his father’s reproaches after the public disgrace. He had to go out and craved fresh air. Ditching his classes wouldn’t improve things either, but he’d already reached rock bottom. Nothing could reach him now.

“I’m fucking leaving. See ya.”

“But, Raph! We have "Mechanics" together in the last period! That’s the only subject you like!”

“Don’t give a shit! We had chemistry earlier and that’s enough reason for me to leave!”

“But we’re seeing one another at four p.m. for training, right?”

Raph didn’t answer. Yes. He’d be at training, but not at 4 p.m. He’d be at the exit at 5:30 p.m. Okay. Maybe he’d thought too quickly and the guy wasn’t a “fairy”. He was surely the Dom of a male bitch, but a fag all the same. But no matter, if he was top or was the receiver, that wouldn’t prevent Raphael from going to settle his case. In a week's time, the little fool rookie would have changed schools.

 

Training from January to early April took place in the large gymnasium after class from 16:00 to 5 p.m. Raphael was waiting there when it ended. He didn’t want to miss the opportunity to take the beautiful Adonis by surprise and to hit his pretty –boy face. Raphael suspected that he probably had time to take a long shower, to stalk his teammates and to wait alone to masturbate thinking about it, but he was determined to be patient. But it was 5:45 p.m. and nobody was out yet. Not even Casey. What did the delay mean?

The first of his ex-teammates came out around 17:55 and didn’t notice Raph’s presence in the shadows at all, too caught up in their own conversation.

“You saw him? What a shame there’s no hockey team here. We’d be a hit with him!”

“He was so good and you saw he makes passes. He doesn’t consider himself to be the team on his own!”

Raphael listened to them leave, completely disgusted. The rookie was only the flavor of the month. In 15 days, nobody would remember him, he was convinced.

He’d seen the whole team leave, apart from Casey and the new guy. For a moment, he couldn’t help but imagine what if... He shook his head. The idea was really disgusting, Casey was 100% straight.

The door suddenly opened and Raph’s breath caught.

Casey went outside with the new guy.

Suddenly, the door opened and his breath stopped in his throat.

“Listen, Leo. You must absolutely join my hockey team! It’s just for fun, but having a good player like you will certainly benefit us. Our next game’s on Sunday afternoon if you’re free.”

“Why not? I promised Elena I’d see her, but she came still come and see me at the arena, right?”

“Of course! And if you want to seduce her, when she sees you in your element on the ice, she’ll soak her panties. That’s for sure!”

Leo said smugly, “Now how can I refuse such a possibility? I’ll be there.”

“Do you want me to accompany you? You can’t be familiar with the city yet. I don’t have the car, because I usually leave with Raph on Fridays. He has his. Then, well, it’s not like I have my licence yet.”

“Pointless. I have mine. Is your friend the homophobic boy with mood disorders, who assaulted me in the cafeteria?”

“I wouldn’t say he’s homophobic. He's just, you know, brought up the hard way. He's a very ... passionate guy.”

 

Raphael dared not say anything or to demonstrate his presence. He couldn’t attack Leo in front of his best friend, who seemed to like him so much, at the risk of losing his respect forever. His friend was important to him and there were few people that mattered to him. Casey had never offered to accompany him to the arena. Okay. Okay. Maybe because he’d said that hockey wasn’t a real man's sport, but it wasn’t a reason to get excited about the first guy, who could push a puck.

He watched them disappear into the Lexus anthracite Lexus, which caused Casey's loud admiration.

The nasty little bastard was stripping him of everything: his popularity, his place in the team, Elena and now his best friend of the last eight years. He wouldn’t be fooled by the frog eater. This was his kingdom. He was going to fight back. Starting Monday. But today, he was going home. He could no longer avoid the lecture from his father. Further reports of his bad behavior would only increase his father’s rage and he was tired. He glanced at the time on his cell again and saw all of the angry messages from his father. He considered the date and thought that it was ironic. He’d never been superstitious before, but today had been a damn Friday 13.

 

But today, for the moment, he was going home. He could no longer avoid the lecture from his father. Further reporting would only heighten his father's anger, and he was tired. He looked at the time on his cell again, falling on all the furious messages from his father. He considered the date, ironically. He had never been superstitious, but today had been a damn Friday 13.


	2. A midnigth lesson.

It was Monday and that thought alone was reason enough for Raphael to quickly rise from his bed, even though he was still stiff with the “paternal disappointment” his father had dished out to him. It wasn’t the first time that he’d be going to school with bruises on his face. His bad boy reputation would explain his bruises. When they happened, Raphael would joke with Casey “You should have seen the other guy.” Nobody knew the truth.

While he was showering, the hot spray soothing his aching muscles, Raphael tried to come up with a plan. Taking on the new guy publically again would be a mistake. He didn’t know his enemy well enough and he didn’t want to be humiliated in front of Elena, Casey or whoever again. He had to lure Leo into a corner and alone.

Raphael sighed. The weekend had been painful. He’d first suffered his father’s ire. Then he’d settled his “business”, so he’d be forgiven and finally, Lisa hadn’t called. He hadn’t phoned her either out of pride. His girlfriends usually begged him for his attention. Not the other way around. He wasn’t used to not indulging in sex and or not getting any affection for several days and his mood was gloomy. Casey had called him, but still furious about his “treachery”, he hadn’t answered. He couldn’t stop thinking about the new student and the pleasure he’d feel in breaking him on Monday all weekend. He turned off the faucet. He couldn’t even masturbate, because he was thinking too much about the raven haired student.

He dressed after briefly glancing outside the window of his second floor room. It was nice and soft out there, because the snow was melting. Cars splashed the pedestrians with icy mud. He hated winter. He didn’t know if it was because his blood was somehow screaming for Sicily’s burning sun, but he hated winter and especially loathed February. When the cold dragged on and all the girls spoke about was Valentine’s Day, which was a lot of commercial shit.  The minute Lisa mentioned it; he’d tell her it was commercial shit. After all, she hadn’t called him over the weekend and she must have thought he needed comfort. No, no comfort, he corrected himself. He wasn’t a kid, whose mother had died any longer. He just needed to kiss. That’s it.

Raphael wondered if he should take his car. The school was only a 15 minute drive away and he needed to be calm, so he wouldn’t explode at the first opportunity. Well, he only had to lower down the retractable roof of his Alfa Romeo red spider cabriolet. He’d received it for his 18th birthday the previous October, because he couldn’t use his motorcycle in winter. He wasn’t tired of the bike. The car and the bike were both of his babies and they never disappointed him.

He put on his red T-shirt, his leather jacket and the black jeans he always wore. He thought blue jeans were very effeminate and he avoided wearing them. Leo had worn them on Friday with a teal shirt. Raphael didn’t understand how a girl like Elena could fall in love with such an effeminate guy.

A wimp, Raphael thought, but one that had managed to pin my ass to the floor in less than two minutes in front of everyone.

He pushed the thought away. It wouldn’t help his mood. The day would already be tough seeing people, who’d witnessed his humiliation last Friday.

He looked at the time and saw that it was already 8:10. Walking was already out of the equation. He couldn’t afford to be late. He was already in deep trouble. He grabbed his keys and went out.

Raphael’s first class was English at 8:30 and it wasn’t his favorite class, but if he wanted to join the team, he had to improve. He tried not to notice the glances at him, as he fetched his books from his locker and pretended that he hadn’t heard the whispered comments about “such a sexy accent”.  His humiliation was no doubt the gossip subject of the week.  It remained to be seen if there would still be mockery once he’d rearranged Leo’s face and if he still had admirers.

Raphael entered the classroom and nearly dropped his books onto the floor. The “handsome Leo” that he’d heard about, sat quietly behind his usual place and was wearing a blue polo shirt, which was the same color as his eyes. Leo looked at him mockingly and stretched his long legs under the desk with the audacity of a panther that had the assurance of being on his hunting territory and being the alpha. The asshole even had the guts to make a small sign of recognition with his hand.

“M. Senzi, do you intend on sitting down or will you stare at M. Hamato all day?”

Raphael blushed at what he thought seemed like a perverse allusion. As if he wanted to gaze at the arrogant son of a bitch.

He sat down, despite wanting to rush at his rival then and decided that he’d wait until he was face-to-face with his rival to express his anger. His father had informed him that he didn’t want any calls from the principal until at least spring. He had to officially wait a few weeks.

The lesson seemed extremely long to Raphael and he felt like blue eyes were staring at him, but he didn’t dare to turn around in case he was wrong.

He had an idea towards the end of the class. Leo seemed proud and sure of himself and he therefore, wouldn’t dare to back down from a challenge. Raphael eagerly tore off a piece of paper and wrote “I _f you're a man, wait for me at 11PM at Cleopatra's Needle in Central Park.”_

As the students got up to leave, Raphael turned and handed the piece of paper to Leo.

Leo’s blue eyes widened in surprise. Then he read the note and smiled as if Raphael had suggested they go on a romantic picnic and not a duel. He graciously nodded, signifying his acceptance of the challenge.

Raphael returned the smile. His grin resembling those of a fierce tiger’s. He was sure that Leo Hamato’s brief reign would end that evening.

Raphael was irate and running in Central Park. It was almost 11PM and he didn’t want the little fag to think that he’d backed off. The day had been a long, endless series of annoyances. Firstly, after English, he’d realized that Leo was also in his Italian class. The only thing that hadn’t made him scream with rage was the consolation of knowing that he was going to kick his ass that evening and that it was probably the last Monday when he’d see Leo for two hours in a row. He’d heard Leo tell an admirer his schedule. Leo dropped French, which was too easy for him and for which he wouldn’t derive any merit from success and to make matters worse, every day he had another subject in common with Raphael. It was a nightmare and Raphael suspected his principal had deliberately done it to incense him.

Then, his father had requested his participation in his "business", making him nearly late. He told himself that at worst, it had helped him warm up. He remembered with delight hearing the snap of the patella. The noise would be even softer coming from the half-Jap. Pressed, but not wanting to give the other an opportunity to pass, he hadn’t even removed his American fist. Whatever? He was going to use it again. Too bad if his rival hadn’t thought about getting a weapon.

Raphael wondered for the hundredth time that day if the ephebe would have the audacity to show himself. He had his answer when a thin, black silhouette stood out from the pale sandstone of the obelisk.

Leo had dressed carefully all in black, like Raphael himself, indicating that it was certainly not his first nocturnal prohibited outing.  Raphael thought he probably dressed like that when he gave other fags like him blowjobs in the parks. Only Leo’s pale complexion was visible in the dark and even his light irises seemed dark, giving him an almost ghostly appearance that was disturbing.

“I thought you wouldn’t come,” Leo said mockingly, pulling Raphael from his thoughts. Steam escaped from the sensual lips, but Leo didn’t seem to shudder. It must be said that coming from the north, Leo must have experienced colder nights. The weather was pleasant for a January evening.  It was about 39 degrees, and a spongy land appeared here and there in the park, making dark spots in the remnants of the white mantle of snow.

“As if I’d miss an opportunity to teach you a lesson in humility,” Raphael said.

“Really? You’d do that for me? Maybe I should return the favor. A lesson in courtesy won’t harm you.”

“I don’t need to be taught any lessons by a foreigner.”

“Oh! Because you’re xenophobic and more? Excuse me, great Iroquois warrior, for defiling your ancestors’ land!  I hadn’t seen the feathers in your hair! Why then the allusions about my alleged homosexuality? You’re obsessed about it. You must be one of those repressed gays, who hide their sexuality by being aggressive all time. No matter. You’re wrong. I love girls and as you’ve seen with Elena, the attraction’s reciprocal. Do you remember the taste of anise that her kisses always have? It’s delicious. I love sweets. I wonder if the rest of her body tastes as good.”

That was too much. Raphael had to silence him. He raised his fist to strike the insolent boy, but he received such a violent blow to the hand that he uttered an incredulous shriek of pain.

Raphael turned his eyes to his aggressor, who was twirling two nunchakus and obviously making a show of it.

“Those weapons are illegal,” Raphael said.

“Oh? Are there rules here for midnight battles in a park? Sorry to have missed the protocol. I’m a foreigner, as you’ve done to me so judiciously, and I thought all blows were allowed when I saw what you’re wearing on your knuckles. By the way, that little squawk groan was very manly, for an alpha male like you. Such a shame that only I heard it. Anyway, these nunchakus are my brother's and they’re not my preferred weapons. I prefer katanas. But they’re not the best for discretion and I also wanted to give you a bit of luck, especially after the beating you’ve obviously had last weekend. What happened? Did you attract guys stronger than you? Here. I’ll get rid of them, so that you’ll stop whining. Come on. Humble me. That’s why you’re here, right?”

Screaming in rage, Raphael threw himself at Leo. He was going to crush the pretty boy and reduce him to mush and ensure that his raven hair was smeared with his blood.

His blows were avoided, but he kept going, his ire so intense that conquering wasn’t his mission any longer. Now it was destroy. That word resonating in his mind, as he blindly fought and more like a wild beast than a thoughtful fighter. His fists and feet kept meeting nothingness, as Leo deftly avoided them and Raphael was immensely frustrated, his limbs dying to make physical contact.

He suddenly realized he was immobilized and lying face down on the ground. Leo had his arm twisted, while half lying on him. Leo placed his mouth near Raphael’s ears and softly whispered, “I won. I always have a tanto in my pocket. If I were a bloodthirsty beast, I could rip your throat open and drench the beautiful snow red with your blood. But I won’t do that. I’ll give you a more humiliating lesson. One that you won’t forget anytime soon and that you’ll remember every time you see me in the school corridors. But first, you must admit that at my mercy.

“Fuck you!”

“Your friend, Casey’s right. You’re so passionate. It's interesting. Do you realize that if I were the homosexual you pretend to be, I could take you now and you couldn’t do anything, apart from enjoying the pleasure?”

Raphael went deathly pale. The thought of being sodomized in a park on the cold and muddy ground, by the virtual stranger chilled him to the bone.

“You jerk. It’s bullshit. I can free myself!”

“Really? It’s because you don’t know all of my tricks. Wait a bit…”

Raphael was anxious when he felt Leo touch his leg. Seconds later, he couldn’t feel his lower limbs anymore.

Panic stricken, Raphael bellowed, “Asshole! You paralyzed me!”

“Relax. It’ll wear off in twenty-five minutes, which is how long my lesson will take and then I’ll leave.”

“You wouldn’t dare. That’s rape!” Raphael said, trying not to show his fear.

“Calm down. Firstly, I last longer than that and I don’t have condoms. Who knows where you’ve been? And finally, I prefer when my conquests beg me. There’s no merit or satisfaction in taking someone forcefully.”

 

Raphael didn’t know whether he should be indignant or relieved at the statement. Anxiety returned when with one swift movement, Leo flipped him onto his back. Suddenly face-to-face with Leo, Raphael felt even more vulnerable, as the piercing eyes of the other boy regarded him, his face mere inches away from his. The dark-haired student shifted Raphael’s body so that he was more comfortable and to his horror, Raphael realized that his body had found the short friction enjoyable. Leo and he were the same size and each part of his body was his own. He felt the young man's chest rise at the same rate as his and the body that was suddenly pressed against his burned him and made him claustrophobic. His panic increased, because he couldn’t feel anything lower down and knowing he couldn’t resist or defend himself, because Leo now held his hands in a vice grip.

To make Raphael even more paralyzed with terror, Leo straightened up and approached Raphael’s lips with his own. Raphael felt like a hypnotized mouse in front of a boa and he felt his conscience shift tear. While a really disturbed part of his brain told him that his body was positively reacting to the contact of his aggressor, another part of his brain recoiled at the idea. He had no idea how Leo could make him feel that way just with a few movements. All his resistance and fighting spirit was gone. The supplications were at the edge of his lips, while Leo's breath tickled his skin.

Leo’s lips were now a hair’s width from Raphael's, whose whole body was stretched like a bow. Raphael closed his eyes, refusing to give in and to show the struggle that was tearing him apart.

A slight movement of the boy's pelvis above him, rubbing their cocks together through their jeans almost made Raphael groan in surrender and it confirmed his erection. In spite of himself, Raphael opened his mouth ready to meet Leo’s tongue.

Raphael opened his eyes in amazement and anger when Leo licked him on the nose and then stood up, an amused expression on his face, as he picked up the nunchukus.

“I’ve finished giving you my lesson. You’ve been a very good student and very motivated to learn. See you tomorrow! Try not to miss me too much!”

Raphael was free from his grasp, but what could he say? Damn tease, come back and do me?

Helpless and unable to even stand up to chase the sly student, Raphael lay on the half melted snow and watched Leo quietly go home. He didn’t want to think about what had happened. As far as he was concerned, the fight, which was disloyal anyway, had never taken place.


	3. The assignment

On Tuesday morning, Raphael debated whether he should pretend that he had gastroenteritis, so that he’d stay home from school. Anyway, pretending to be sick was only half a lie. He hadn’t closed his eyes all night after finally returning home once the paralysis had ended twenty minutes later, as Leo had promised. Fortunately, he didn’t see his father, because he knew he must look like a ghost, which would have aroused paternal suspicion.

After removing his clothes and shivering and now warm in bed, Raphael had tried to sleep, but he couldn’t help thinking about Leo’s breath on his lips and the firm and muscular body of the foreign student pressed against his. Every time his mind returned to the events, he felt his cock harden, despite himself, as if it had a will of its own, but his brain quickly ordered him not to masturbate about his attacker.

Raphael Senzi had always had a high opinion of himself. He’d never doubted himself, but he despised himself right now and was disgusted by his own body’s betrayal. He wasn’t stupid. He knew that homosexuality wasn’t contagious, but he almost doubted it. He didn’t know how, but in a few moments, Leo had completely turned the situation to his advantage, immobilizing Raphael to molest him and to satisfy his perverse impulses. He was a victim. It had been completely dishonest using nunchakus, pressure points and seduction. He’d been taken by surprise.

So, as he tossed and turned in his bed he’d thought about his father. Homosexuality was a crime in their extended family. He’d spent his life listening to his father, his uncles, and their associates ferociously insulting pederasts. He could still complain that he’d been molested in a park. His outraged father would give orders and Leo would be castrated in less than two seconds, as skilled as he was. Rethinking about the events, Raphael remembered that his rival had only acted defensively and had evaded his strikes. He must have been doing self-defence courses following his parents ‘orders, since childhood. Raphael would have done the same thing if his son had been so cute. Leo must have attracted loads of pedophiles as a young boy.

He was thinking that when he realized that it was seven a.m. and he must immediately make a decision. He stood up. He wouldn’t allow the bastard Leo to win. He must just act like Leo didn’t exist. He showered, soaping himself twice to get rid of whatever he could from his physical contact with the handsome teenager. He didn’t eat as much as he usually did, because he was stressed. He grabbed his gym bag, because he was had physical education with Casey. Sport would clean up his ideas.

He couldn’t remember f Leo was starting sport that day, but he didn’t believe he’d be that unlucky. There were more than 2000 students at the school. It would be a fucking bad joke. He already had to endure Speech and History classes with him in the afternoon if his memory served him correctly. It was impossible for Leo to have three lessons with him on the same day, right?

And yet, as he changed in the locker room, the mocking voice that had haunted his night spoke, making his stomach drop.

“So, Senzi? Have you missed me?”

 

“Fuck you, asshole!”

“Always so charming. I don’t understand why I'm wasting my time, trying to be amiable to you.”

“I didn’t ask you shit!”

Not at all impressed by the aggressive reaction, Leo placed his gym bag next to him and began to unbutton his shirt, acting indifferent.

Raphael was a hair’s breadth away from throwing a fit, but he tried to control himself, ignoring him. The fag was trying to make him lose it. He won’t let this jerk upset him with his little psychological games.

“Beautiful tattoos.”

Raphael turned back, bristling. A revolver, which was engraved with a Holy Virgin, was tattooed on his forearms, accurately representing his own weapon.

“Stop stalking me, bitch!” Raphael snapped, his green eyes blazing.

Leo rolled his eyes.

“I bet you cried like a baby when you saw the needle.”

“Kiss my ass!  What do you know about that, faggot?”

Raphael had steadfastly avoided looking at him so far, but Leo’s comments about his tattoo made him feel like he’d been raped. He didn’t understand why, but he hated losing control and feeling powerless.

A shirtless Leo casually turned his back, looking for something in his bag. A tattoo of a blue and red Chinese Dragon covered more than half his back. Raphael was staring at it again, when the blue eyes bore into his and Leo said, “You’re not undressing?”

Raphael had never been prudish and he had no legitimate reason for wanting to hide, apart from a few scars, but he thought they added to his charm. His body, subjected to many hours of body building a week, as well as a lot of sport, was well developed and he had a huge cock. But it suddenly seemed like there was no hole deep enough to hide.

“I’ll wait for your damn stalker face to back off.”

Raphael ordered his eyes not to go lower than Leo’s chin and not to look elsewhere at the male. A hand came from behind and rested on his shoulder and he jumped, ready to attack.

“Whoa, Raph! You’re edgy this morning! Relax! It’s only me!” Casey said. “Are you buddies now?”

Raphael was about to say that they weren’t, but he was taken aback by the mug bastard.

“Yes,” Leo said. “Raph and I met last night for a moonlight rendezvous in Central Park.”

“Hmm. A moonlight rendezvous? It almost sounds romantic. I didn’t think you played for both teams, Raph!”

Raphael‘s face darkened. Even if Casey was teasing him, he was going to crack.

The other two were still joking, as they changed, but Raphael didn’t listen. It was only when they’d left that he threw up his breakfast in the toilet.

 

Throughout the basketball game, he felt like crap, so much so, that the coach, who didn’t like him, suggested that he sit on the bench.

The whole day was the same and he didn’t even go to the cafeteria at lunch time.

But that wasn’t the worst thing.

The death knell for his sanity sounded when the Speech teacher said that they’d be working in twos for the projects in his class, English and history classes. Raphael tried to pay attention. He had to get a better grade. It was a team assignment. Lisa was good. He’d pair with her and she’d do all of the work.

The teacher then announced that the pairing would be randomly determined and Raphael knew for sure with whom his opposite stars would match him up.

That didn’t stop his heart from freezing when the teacher stated that Leo Hamato was going to be his teammate and that the subjects would be chosen on Thursday.

Leo nonchalantly approached him at the end of the class and he remained paralyzed in the same place, despite ordering his legs to run. “So, see you tonight, Raphael? I’ll start getting used to our little meetings…” Leo said.

“Kiss my ass. Do the damn homework on your own!”

“Oh? And generously put your name on it? I don’t think so! I know I’m better than you and know that too, which is why you suggested that I do it on my own, rather than the opposite. We have to give an oral presentation and you’ll make me feel ashamed if you’re speechless next to me in front of the class. We must say what subject we’re doing on Thursday. So, come to my place tonight!”

“Don’t order me around! I have a date with my chick tonight.”

“Well, bang her and then come over. You don’t seem like a man, who likes a lot of foreplay before sex. Unless you don’t want to come over, because you’re afraid of me.” Indignant, Raphael fiercely denied it and Leo said, “Oh! With all the glances you’ve shot my way, I questioned myself. Here’s my address. Please be on time.”

Without giving Raphael time to argue, the black-haired boy left.

Raphael was stuck. Either he got 0 for the assignment and didn’t get his certificate (which would shame his family) or he’d have to face Leo at home.

He clenched his fists. He wasn’t a coward. And he’d hit Leo at the first gesture or suggestive look. Nausea caused by anxiety overcame him and he rushed to the bathroom.

Four hours later, Raphael was in his car, smoking a cigarette, as Lisa eagerly sucked him off. She’d been blowing him off for five Nirvana tracks. There was just nothing else to do. His sigh was noisier than he’d wanted it to be, but he was pleased with the result. He wanted her to let go before it became too humiliating for her and for him.

She got up, hurt, holding her sore jaw, and said, “What’s going on, Raph? I sense you’re more distant. It's Elena, isn’t?”

“Stop psychoanalyzing me. I’m fine. I have homework to do with that fucker. That’s all,” Raphael snapped.

“If you say so…”

A cold silence settled, which Raphael couldn’t bear. He was tempted to break up with her, but he didn’t feel mentally ready to endure it. He dropped her home, said goodbye and turned up the sound, as "Lithium" played.  Leo lived only two blocks away. Raphael was there in 5 minutes, parking outside of the luxurious building. His heart pounded. He could tell himself there was no reason to panic, but he couldn’t help his stomach tightening in knots. He was extremely nervous and that dirty little fag would probably notice it and he’d tease him about it.  He had to do something about his nerves. He frantically searched in the secret cavity under his dash board and found what he’d been looking for. He quickly grabbed it and used the back of his hand to snort it up. He noticed that he was shaking. How the son of a bitch had managed to turn him upside down, he had no idea. But it had to stop.

He waited five minutes, got out of his car and rang the bell at apartment 8 on the top floor. The name said D. Oroku. Had Leo given him a fake address? He pressed the bell a second time and, as the drugs took effect, he gained courage.

Nobody answered the doorbell, but it was unlocked, so he went inside. He quickly went up the four flights of stairs and then stood at the door of apartment eight on which the number was written in gold. He suddenly had a premonition of what would happen. He knew he wouldn’t come out of the apartment, like he’d been before he entered, but he knocked on the door anyway.

Leo was wearing a simple black T-shirt and jeans with his perpetual condescending grin and he immediately opened the door. His smiled immediately died when Raphael entered the place and he was probably aware of Raphael’s twitching and his dilated pupils.

“You didn’t have to get high to come here, Raphael.”

“Spare me the lecture. I’m here to work. Yes or no?”

Leo gestured for him to sit on the couch. Raphael sat down, refusing to be impressed by the home. His own home was, after all, more sumptuous, his father being a fan of a baroque Italian-style indoors. Radio Head was playing softly and he made a small gesture towards Leo so that he could take his ease too.

“Aren’t your parents here?” Raphael asked, rubbing his nose.

“They’re dead.”

The reply had been said in a neutral tone and Raphael thought for a moment that he’d misunderstood. But his host’s stoic face implied it was true. Feeling awkward, Raphael rubbed his nose again. Leo sighed and then said, “This is my cousin’s house or he’s something like a cousin. Me and my younger brother live here. He’s sick and we have no family, hence my move here.”

“Oh. What does your brother have? Influenza? Chickenpox?”

“Cystic fibrosis. He’s sleeping in his room right now. He hasn’t been doing very well, since our mother’s death just before Christmas. He’s dying. Donnie promised that he’d extend his life as much as he could. The drugs cost a fortune. Three hundred thousand Dollars a year. Without Donnie and being in high school, I couldn’t pay for them.”

Raphael was silent. He could be stoned and still loathe the Leo guy, but he felt like the worst son of a bitch for a few moments. He uneasily asked, “Are you sure I’m not disturbing you?”

It was silly asking, but he didn’t know what else to say.

“No. I invited you over. Remember? So, do you know what subject interests you? In case it didn’t cross your mind, I know nothing about American history.”

“Well, I don’t know,” Raphael said with a shrug. “What would you do?”

“We must analyze an American historical novel to find out if it’s historically true. I only know Gone with the Wind.”

“Yeah. It’s certainly true. A clear-eyed bitch using her charms to manipulate men.”

Leo briefly looked flabbergasted. Then he smiled and said, “I’m surprised you know the synopsis, but that finally makes sense. Knowing you, you probably cried at the end.”

Raphael snorted and said nothing. He wouldn’t let himself be disconcerted.

“Leo. Who’s your friend?”

A very frail young blond stood there, his blue eyes showing that he was related to Leo.

“Mikey,” Leo said. “You must rest in bed. This is only for school and is nothing interesting. Nothing interesting that justifies you getting up and exhausting yourself.”

Leo’s reproach was tender and Raphael was surprised that he felt sensitive about it. He’d lost his mother too soon, but he thought the sound of his voice must have sounded so.

Leo apologized and took his younger brother back to his room. Raphael remained baffled for a moment. He hadn’t expected this tragic shit behind Leo’s arrogance. Hating him would be much harder now.

The blue eyed student returned and said, “Sorry, Raph. Mikey’s a curious kid and he’s very bored.”

“Uh. No problem. So, this is your cousin’s apartment?”

“He’s not really my cousin biologically. Our fathers loved each other like brothers and he was my best friend until I was nine when he moved to America and just before my father was murdered. So, do you have an interesting subject to propose?”

Raphael had never read a novel in his life and he bitterly regretted it right now. He didn’t know why, but the idea of disappointing Leo was suddenly unbearable. He was no doubt touched by the story of his dying little brother and his dead parents. Nothing more. After all, he wasn’t an insensitive monster, despite committing ten cold-blooded murders almost monthly.

“I have no idea,” Raphael said frankly. “I’m sorry. I’m not a great reader or a brilliant student if you still had doubts about it.”

Leo sighed and said, “You don’t know any titles?”

Raphael shook his head, sorry that he was disappointing Leo, who got his cell and went online to do a search. If Raphael had been able to concentrate, he might have been able to find something, but since Leo's return, he’d been staring at his lips, fascinated. There was something about the pink flesh that was delicately swollen, that caught his attention. Leo’s lips seemed to be soft and exquisite. Raphael unconsciously licked his lips.

“Would kissing me free you from your trance, Raphael, so that we can move forward? I need a teammate and not an admirer.”

Raphael would normally have been indignant, but he was no longer there. Leo's question sounded like permission and he wanted to take it. The verbalization of a desire that had been hidden in his subconscious for several days was all the encouragement he needed. He’d hit his head against a wall tomorrow, the priority right now being a pout in front of him. He remembered that Leo had told him that he adored sweets. He wondered if he tasted as sweet as candies and that question was more important than an assignment. Leo’s neck was slender, just like himself and his white skin was a direct contrast to his black T-shirt. Raphael had an overwhelming urge to nibble the soft flesh invited kissing. If he gave in to his desire, he could move on, right?

Leo didn’t seem to be overly offended and seemed to regard his enthrallment as natural. Maybe he’d been wrong to make a fuss about it? He slowly, but confidently approached his prey. Leo didn’t shy away, letting his lips be captured and then he aggressively kissed back. Raphael had never experienced such a delicious, intense moment. No drugs could provide this euphoria. Leo’s lips perfectly matched his own and seemed to be intended for him. When his tongue came in contact with the consenting one of the other student, Raphael’s senses were ignited. What could only be a kiss and a little experimentation, consumed all of his rational thought. Using his weight, he tipped Leo onto his back. He didn’t know what he wanted to accomplish, not knowing what two men really did together, but he couldn’t stop touching, exploring and caressing that body under him, even for a moment. He lost all contact with reality and was no longer aware of the place or time, caring only for the enticing flesh beneath his lips and hands.

Leo had passively let himself go for a while, but when the young Italian-American began to rub his cock in his denim jeans, while trying to unbuckle his belt, while kissing him, Leo stiffened.

“Stop, Raphael. My cousin will be here soon.”

“Let’s go to your room then….”

Raphael felt the swollen cock of his partner in his fingers.  Leo was turned on and he was too. Damn it!

“You don’t understand. No. Leave me!”

“Why? Are you a cock tease?”

Strangely, the resistance, which when it happened with a girl, made him impatient, but it only strengthened his resolve now. He wanted Leo. He didn’t exactly know what he wanted to do to him, but he wanted to take him and to use and mark every part of his body. He was going to insist, when Leo shoved a finger into the hollow under his Adam’s apple, just as keys turned in the lock.

Surprise and pain froze Raphael ,just as an Asian man barely older than them entered.

 

“Leo? Are you okay? I didn’t know you had a visitor.”

The newcomer's voice sounded suspicious. “Nothing to fucking stress about,” Raphael tougth, as his partner launched into an explanation of their actions. “Leo and I are eighteen and can do what we want. I didn’t force him.”

“But, Leo. I can help you. You don’t need a stranger to do that. I’ll do your paper for you.”

Leo blushed, but he didn’t have time to object. Raphael suddenly wanted to do the homework with Leo and the fake “cousin” wasn’t going to stop him.

“I’m not a damn stranger,” Raphael said. “I’m his friend and I want to earn my grade myself.”

Donnie looked disdainful and said, “It’s late, Leo, and time for my training.”

Leo docilely got up and led Raphael to the door.  The bulky young man had no desire to leave, his testosterones needing an outlet, but he had no real reason to stay. Glancing at his cell, he saw that it was 9:15 p.m. and, as incredible as it seemed, he’d spent more than 45 minutes kissing and caressing the other male.

Leo had told him more about the paper, suggesting that he choose between two titles.  Standing outside, he thought about the events. What had really happened between them? They’d kissed each other, but there was nothing between them, right? Coked up, he’d shown a misplaced curiosity about his teammate. But it was mainly the latter’s fault with his provocative attitude! Leo would convert anyone! It had been nothing but an experience and a little challenge to move on and to clear his head. Nothing that justified him kissing Leo again in the doorway, even if he craved it for it. He wasn’t gay and he had to resist the impulse that wanted him to take the other boy in his arms to wish him good night.

Leo’s gaze also reflected some uncertainty and it did nothing to fix the indecision that tormented Raphael. He glanced over Leo’s shoulder and saw the almost hateful look of the Asian. Raphael knew that he was possessive. He’d never had to fight for one of his girlfriends before, but he guessed he’d need to be to keep what he wanted close to him. He suddenly became aware of the jealous temperament in the face of this silent exchange. He didn’t understand why seeing the man made his chest freeze and burn at once, like liquid nitrogen. It didn’t make sense. Leo was a boy. And moreover, an arrogant son of a bitch. His rival. His nemesis. And yet, he was jealous of the idea that perhaps the "cousin" could have more than him. The cousin could sleep in this apartment, just steps away from Leo’s bed.

Raphael shook his head. He had to go. He was going crazy. The boy was emitting something toxic that messed with his mind. He’d kissed him! Shit! If Leo boasted about it at school tomorrow! No. Nobody would believe it. It was impossible! Raphael was 100% straight. A notorious Don Juan. His present jealousy was completely stupid! He had no reason wanting to break the face of the guy he didn’t even know! As for Leo’s gorgeous eyes? Leo was also almost a stranger! He knew that the son of a bitch was gay! He must never see him again!

Raphael was at the point where panic and shame had completely eradicated his desire. Leo’s hoarse voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“Come again at the same time tomorrow,” Leo said.

Raphael’s chest swelled with joy at hearing this, though he was again angry for feeling elation.

“Yeah, I’ll see if I have time.”

Leo smiled at him ironically and quietly closed the door.

Raphael remained paralyzed for a moment, his brain trying to process the rapid succession of events. He heard injections in a foreign language on the other side of the door and guessed they were probably speaking Japanese. He wondered if he should intervene, uncertain whether Leo was bawling or not. Then, he thought that it wasn’t his damn business since, despite the evident anger in the voices, there was no indication that a violent altercation was imminent. He’d lost enough time and before he completely lost his mind, he had to leave. He went down the stairs, as if he had the devil on his tail.

It was only in the security of his car that Raphael allowed himself to crack. He was horrified at what had happened. He touched his lips, while looking at himself in his rear view mirror, not believing it and not understanding that they apparently still seemed normal after such an unnatural act.

Two hours earlier, he’d promised to hit the other student with the slightest lewd gesture, but he’d instead, at the first opportunity, had kissed him for almost an hour, while caressing him.

Leo had something abnormal in him that he communicated to others. Raphael’s mind had certainly weakened by dope. Without thinking, he grabbed the bag of powder and threw it out of the car window. His father had often warned him that an honorable man must always be physically and mentally healthy in order to remain alert and in control. The simple kiss convinced Raphael more about the validity of the assertion than his father’s preaching and he promised that he’d never use the corruptive poison again.

Arriving home, he saw that the living room light was on. His father was obviously there, which was strange. His father was usually busy with his “business” at that time of night. He tried to compose himself once he was in the garage and to act calm. He was certain that his father, who was very observant, would immediately see his “crime”. He studied his lips again. Although they felt like they were burning him, there were no traces of the kisses, because Leo didn’t wear lipstick. He rubbed them all the same, feeling paranoid.

Giancarlo Senzi was totally dressed, two suitcases at his feet.

“Where were you, Raphael?”

“Doing a school assignment.”

Raphael had learned long ago to answer his father as briefly as possible.

“What about?”

Raphael quickly answered and in a few sentences, explained the nature of the assignment, thanking Leo for refreshing his memory about it two hours earlier. Surprised, he found that his father seemed disconcerted. He quickly understood why. His father had thought he’d catch him out lying. He smiled sardonically and handed the piece of paper on which were written the two titles of romance to his father.

“My teammate asked me to choose between these books. I have to tell him what I like tomorrow, because we have to discuss it in class on Thursday.”

Mr. Senzi didn’t look at the titles. Ever since he’d left school, he hadn’t read and he didn’t care about it anyway. All that mattered was that his son would graduate. He told Raphael what was up.

“Your uncle Marcello’s dead.”

Raphael’s eyes flew wide, but he said nothing. If the head of the family had died, it meant the positions would change. His father had always told him that acquiring a rank in the family was desirable and that blood and biological ties meant nothing. Only the best were initiated and knew the mysteries of the clan’s projects. He, himself, was just a henchman and didn’t even know the motives behind a murder or a broken leg. He’d never really initiated. He had to prove his worth and loyalty before he would be. Marcello Senzi had never been fond of Raphael, and he suspected that, even more than his youth, that was the cause of his eschewing of "affairs". His uncle’s death meant that his father would climb up the ranks and he therefore, would too. Perhaps. His father had proclaimed for more than a year that Raphael disappointed him.

“I have to go to Naples. Meanwhile, you must be irreproachable. You go to your classes. You do your homework or you find someone to do it for you. I want you reinstated in whatever sports team you were in. You must change. If you don’t believe your current girlfriend’s the one for you, immediately break up with her, but the next one will be the last. Capiche? “

Raphael knew that the interrogative form was pure rhetoric, so he remained silent.

“When I return and things are on the right track, you can take your place in the family. You were born for that and that's what you’ve always wanted. I understand that young people today don’t have the rigor of my time, but there’s no need to remind you that I was initiated and married at your age. Here are instructions that you must follow during my absence. Is that clear?”

Raphael took the piece of paper his father handed him and nodded.  Saying that he’d always ‘wanted this place’ was exaggerated. He’d only ever been given that option and his father had explained that their lifestyle was part of their allegiance to the family. Raphael couldn’t and wouldn’t live in his father’s shadow forever. He knew he was feared, but he was also not respected much at the moment. If his father had died instead of Uncle Marcello, what would have happened to him? He was only in high school and not even successful. He shuddered, briefly thinking about Leo, who after his parents’ death had been forced to seek his fake cousin’s charity, so that he could care for his little brother. Raphael didn’t have a cousin to turn to. He had three in Naples that he hadn’t seen in years. After his father had died, he’d probably have squandered his inheritance in a few years and he’d probably have been on the streets. Nobody really cared about him.

His father kissed him on the cheeks, but it was more out of protocol than real affection.

“I’ll be back in about three weeks’ time.”

Raphael watched him leave and sighed in relief. The paternal presence in a circumference of less than 60 km from him stifled him. It would be much better with the ocean between them. He read the instructions and tasks. For the sake of coverage, his father owned a little restaurant in Little Italy, just like his father had done before him. Business was good, his father spending almost every evening there. Raphael was obliged to eat there three times a week, like it was stipulated, either accompanied by an honorable person or alone. He hadn’t been to the restaurant in over six months, but his father demanded that he establish community ties.

Raphael could read between the lines. Knowing the names of a man's children could be a good way of threatening him later. He dropped the piece of paper. He wanted to sleep. His sleepless night had begun to affect him and he wanted to stop thinking and rest. Stop thinking about your future or Leo, he thought. Just go to bed. He had to be fit to face Leo the next day He’d seen his schedule on the coffee table in the living room. He’d be in the same class as Leo three times in a row. Avoiding it would be an almost impossible mission.


	4. The assignement, part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I try this without beta help. I don't want to overload her. Tell me if there too many English mistakes.

He had armed himself with courage for this day, preparing himself more than for an exam or a championship. For nearly an hour, he studied his reflection in the mirror, practicing an indifferent look and composing forward scathing replicas in case Leo would mock him or try to provoke him. He had finally found a solution to his dilemma. The day before he had gone to bed wondering how he could no longer have to interact with the black-haired boy while having his job done. He had found only one possible solution. Convince the teacher responsible for the project to change his teammate. He could simply allege the bad agreement between them to justify this need.

 

It was cowardice, but it was the only way to stay mentally sane. He had "History" in the second period. He would discuss it with his teacher. He had never asked anything of any of them. This little favor should be easy to grant, right?

 

His first class was "Health". A course on the need to adopt a healthy lifestyle without drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol, etc. He hated this moralizing course, but this morning the reason for the slowness with which he was going there had nothing to do with the precepts taught. He wanted to enter at the last second to avoid any opportunity to get stuck with the other student. Just as the bell rang, he slipped into his chair, looking neither to the right nor to the left. He continued to fix the 50 minutes in front of him, having never been so attentive in class. In appearance only because, internally, he was too tormented to understand the words of the professor.

 

The second the class ended, he rushed to the exit. One class of a three was completed. He only stayed in his locker for a moment, then ran to the bathroom. He stayed there. He couldn’t believe that he, Raphael Senzi, his school's wrestling champion, was hiding in the restroom like a nerd student fleeing his bullies, but he figured that in reality he only had to hold up history class. Then, no longer being paired with him, Raph would have to tell him he was no longer his teammate and therefore, he would not come tonight. No doubt, the other boy would make fun of him, but everything rather than being alone in his proximity. He could endure mockery and sarcasm, but this sexual tension put him too much on the edge.

 

Again, he tried to sneak into his place at the last minute. He hated this course, which was lining up too much information by the minute and was sitting completely at the back, in the middle row, so as not to get too much attention as he was napping or drawing morbid scenes in the margins of his notebook. As soon as he entered, he couldn’t help but see who was haunting his thoughts of the last days. The beautiful face turned to him, as if by reflex, totally indifferent, then turn away nonchalantly to continue his conversation with his neighbor.

 

For a moment, he was hurt, to hate the next second for having this thought. Leo didn’t seem mocking. He didn’t even seem to have noticed his presence, lavishing his smiles and attention on the girl sitting next to him. He should have been relieved, but he felt a gaping gap in the middle of his chest. He screamed back to his seat at the back as the bell rang. He was going to talk to the teacher at the end of the class and he would avoid this son of a bitch until the end of the school year, pretending he didn’t exist. End of the story.

 

The professor stood in front of them with a stern look.

 

“I have received from you several questions concerning the common project between this course, that of "Speech" and that of English. Among other things, if it could possible to change the team. The answer is no. No need to ask again. This work accounts for 50% of your result in these three subjects. I hope you will put some effort into it, as this result will greatly affect your average and thus influence your chances of going to university. Failure to do so would seriously compromise your ability to graduate.

 

A cold spread through his veins. He was caught. He wondered if Leo was the student who had complained about his teammate. It might have made sense. Shamefully, he remembered his relentless efforts to touch and kiss his partner and even to continue in the young man's room when he asked him to stop. Leo, legitimately, could wish to have no more to do with Raphael in his life, after reflection. He hid his face in his hands. How could he have lost his mind at this point!

 

His eyes were in spite of himself on the black neck of the student in the front. He could afford to look at him, it wasn’t like he was going to turn around. Towards the end of the class, he frowned. Leo's neighbor, Chloe, if he remembered her name well, passed a paper to his handsome neighbor. Leo took it without any real surprise, and after reading it, gave her a sad smile and shook his head. Seeing that the neighbor didn’t seem to understand, he took his pen and wrote an answer to the back of the message. The bell rang and Chloe after reading the message, dropped the paper on the floor. Raphael didn’t move from his place, waited until almost everyone fled out to escape his notebook on the ground and pick up the little paper rolled into a ball. Heart pounding in his chest, he went out.

 

Why did he pick up this message? In what way could the little words that Leo received from admirers interest him? He still went back to the bathroom and unfolded the paper ball anxiously. On one side, Chloe's purple pen had written:

 

"There is a dance on Valentine's Day. Do you want to be my partner? By then, we could learn to know each other. Are you free this weekend? "

 

Suddenly he hesitated to read the answer. It didn’t concern him. A cocktail of different emotions tore him apart when he heard the answer, on the back, written in blue

 

"I'm sorry, I already have someone in sight who interests me. "

 

Did he suggest Elena? Another conquest? How many girls did this Don Juan hide in his sleeve? He trembled with rage as he crumpled the paper.

 

He didn’t have time to compose a figure that he came face to face with him as he left.

 

Blue eyes stared at him deliberately. Leo, from the beginning, knew he was hiding there. Maybe he even saw him pick up the paper? How to explain it? He didn’t explain it to himself!

 

Raph's defense mechanism was simple. When he was cornered, he became angry.

 

“Why are you everywhere? “he bellowed.

 

The black eyebrow rose in a mixture of perplexity and mockery:

 

“I’m here to do the same thing as you. Don’t worry, I have no reason to sue you in the bathroom, I have better things to do.”

 

The used sarcasm provoked the rage of the former basketball captain.

 

“ Like seducing all girls in school!”

 

Leo frankly laughed.

 

“Yesterday you accused me of being gay and now you blame me for monopolizing girls. Make your mind!”

 

The mention of the day before had the effect of a cold shower on Raphael's wrath. He couldn’t pretend that the girls were a bear. His own conduct was much too questionable. He had to end the conversation now.

 

“I have other things to do to thinks about you” he snapped

 

“Yes, I'm waiting for you tonight. We must start reading this novel as soon as possible.”

 

Raphael didn’t like the "us" employee. He knew that Leo was using it without a second thought, but he was going in a direction he didn’t like.

 

“I don’t know if I can.”

 

"It's up to you, Senzi. If you don’t come, don’t count on me to back you.”

 

“Your damn cousin offered you to do this job! This is a good opportunity for you as for me.”

Leo faked a thoughtful attitude

“But yesterday, remember? You refused with so much firmness that Donny did it. Do you have a problem of multiple personalities?” he asked with a smug smile.

 

Raphael with a hard movement took the young man's arm to bring Leo nearer to him so that he was the only one to hear what he had to say.

 

“Yesterday, I wasn’t in my normal state, okay? You said it yourself. I was high. I made bullshit and said things I didn’t mean.”

 

Leo's smile now was frankly ironic.

 

-Oh! Has your conscience already created an excuse? You think about it when you tossed in your bed? Horny, but refusing to jerk off thinking about me?”

 

Raphael turned pale with rage. What Leo said was too close to the truth. This son of a bitch was deliberately playing with his nerves and so had knowingly seduced him to torment him, to avenge himself, to make fun of him or whatever his reason.

 

“You’re fucking delusional ... you're projecting or some psychological shit.”

“Wow. You know big words, how impressive!” Leo mocked and then he pulled his face closer to whisper in his ear:

 

“Maybe ... maybe you're right and I thought about it again ... I caressed myself by thinking of your wandering hands on my body, your greedy lips ... your huge cock so hard against mine, then when I climaxed, I moaned your name "Oh, Raphaeeeeelll", squirting on my sheets.”

The black-raven student chuckled. Indeed, Raphael suspected that his expression must have been extremely laughable at that moment. Somewhere between mortified and turned on.

 

"Calm down, Senzi, I’m just joking. Of course, we didn’t fantasy about each other. We each have others to feed our fantasies. See you tonight! If you fear not being able to keep your hands to yourself, be there sooner. Mikey goes to bed at 7:30 pm. Will you stay here watching me piss now?”

 

Raphael went off

He pretended everything was normal for the rest of the day, eating with his friends, avoiding looking around him, going to his classes, but he seemed to be an empty envelope on the autopilot. He was just thinking about Leo’s words. Did Leo had jerked off on him?

 

He goes to Lisa’s place after class. He absolutely needed to fuck before going to Leo's house. Without drugs, after a good fuck, he would be more relaxed and should have no desire to molest the other student, as attractive as he was. Did he just think he was attractive? Urrgggg.

 

He brought Lisa back home immediately after class and immediately directed her to her room. Without a word of affection, a kiss or the least preliminary he pushed her on the bed by rolling up her skirt to her belly button. All along the way, she had blabbed him about Valentine's Day dancing, showing her photos on her cell phone of the red dress with a black rose pattern that she intended to wear for the occasion. He didn’t say anything. He thought back to his father's words. He had to settle down, whether with Lisa or any other. Her father had no opinion on the candidate, provided she was Italian, preferably Sicilian, and Catholic.

 

He cleared his mind, focusing on Lisa's body. Fortunately, he was able to get an erection and threw himself at her like a vulture.

As he gave his thrusts, eyes closed, trying to focus on the feeling of friction of his sex and completely ignoring what Lisa said, he was seized when he received a slap in the face.

 

His green eyes opened immediately, furious. Nobody hit him in the face. His father only did it and he needed all the filial respect he had for not jumping at the throat of his parent.

 

“How dare you!”

 

Lisa was hysterical, disengaging to find and re-insert her blue thong. He grabbed his wrist to break it.

 

“What is your damn problem? I forbid you to hit me! I didn’t do anything!”

 

“You called me Leo!”

 

This silenced him. Was it possible? No, it wasn’t! He hadn’t thought of the other man while banging Lisa. He had used each of his neurons to block the image of the black-haired boy in his head. He hadn’t fully succeeded, but it was inconceivable that he could indulge in naming the individual in question.

 

“It's impossible! He's the one who asked you to do that?”

 

“No! You know it's disgusting Raphael? It's a man! You thought of a man while we made love!”

 

He slapped her.

 

“Calm down! First, your two fucking names start with L.”

 

He knew it was a lame excuse, but he was ready to go for it.

 

“Everybody pisses me off with his name. I was paired with this ... newbie (he had almost said fagot, but suddenly he doesn’t dare use such a word out loud now without feeling almost hypocritical) and he constantly taunts me. It's a slip of the tongue that means nothing. My uncle is dead, I had a fight with my father, I was replaced by this asshole in the basketball team and I'm on the edge. If you can’t understand that, Lisa, you'll find another partner in the dance. It's over.”

 

Lisa cried, begged, confused in excuse. He left, absolutely insensitive to his tears because too traumatized the last event to pay any attention. He offered neither a word nor a look when she still begging him to reconsider his decision.

 

He looked at the time. It is 5:10 pm and it was only 5 minutes away from Leo's apartment. He had offered to come earlier. To not be alone with him. In front of his sick little brother, Leo wouldn’t dare seduce him. He wouldn’t offer his lips and body nonchalantly so that Raph concentrates afterward. Thus, he could leave, at 7:30, with his conscience for him, Leo couldn’t blame him for not coming and not having demonstrated a certain effort for their work. He wasn’t going to sue him or insist that he stay, right? He was too proud. It was a perfect plan it.

 

It was only in front of Leo's place that he noticed that he hadn’t chosen one of the two novels, nor read a summary of them, as his partner had asked him to do. He did a quick search on his phone, blessing the mobile Internet.

 

He rang at apartment 8, trying to control his nervousness again. A juvenile voice came out of the intercom. He remained a brief second puzzled then he guessed: it was Leo's little brother.

 

“Mikey, right? I am the guy who came yesterday and ...”

 

The buzz warned him that the kid had unlocked the door. He climbed the stairs quickly, almost wishing that Mikey's older brother wasn’t there. Thus, he would have the merit of having come, without suffering the consequences.

 

The pale but smiling face of the little one greeted him.

 

“Leo is in the shower. He has just finished his kata practice.”

 

In order to short-circuit his brain before he pictured Leo in the shower, he asked Mikey what a "kata" was.

 

Jumping, the boy launched himself into a disjointed but enthusiastic explanation. As he listened kindly, he noticed two swords on the couch.

 

“These are Leo's katanas. They were his father’s.”

 

“ You don’t have the same father?”

 

“No. Our mother remarried to mine, an English diplomat. He died when I was two years old. He was sick too. My mother was very beautiful. She looked a lot like Leo, but blonde. Leo has his father's hair.”

 

The kid showed him some pictures in frames in the living room.

 

“You see? That's Leo's father with Donny's father. They were great friends. Like Brothers. And that's Leo and Donny. Leo had eight or nine on it. I didn’t live with him. I was in England, baby.”

 

Raphael easily recognized the face with delicate features and clear eyes. His expression was serious enough to reflect that of his Asian "cousin" with glasses, who already surpassed him with a good head.

 

“Raphael?”

 

He turned quickly and blushed. Leo had only a towel tied around his waist, his black hair dripping with water. It was not a staging, Leo looked sincerely astonished.

 

“Uh, since you offered me to go earlier ... it suited me because I have things to do tonight. I'm going to the movies with Lisa at 8 pm.”

 

Leo seemed to weigh his words for a moment, then he smirked.

 

“I see.”

 

He wanted to spit in his face "No, you don’t see anything, jerk, because there's nothing to see," but he buckled it in consideration of the little brother who smiled at him.

 

“Will we listen to a movie? Or play a game?”

 

“No, buddy, not now. Raphael and I have a job to do. Maybe when we're done, if it's still early, and he's going home.”

 

Mikey whined that the games were more fun with three players.

 

“We probably have time to play a small game of cards, I'm not so in a hurry.”

 

Raphael regretted for a moment his offer. Being close to Leo was a martyr. He had just quickly put on sports pants and a white T-shirt that stuck to his still wet skin. Unconsciously, he noticed the absence of a belt, so an obstacle the day before, while Mikey was running with shouts of joy, the most that his weakness allowed him.

 

“I was going to prepare the meal. I hope you like frozen macaroni and cheese?”

 

Sardonically, Leo removed the frozen dinner from the freezer. Raphael gave a shocked pout. He wasn’t a great cook, but he had never eaten anything that wasn’t fresh. His mother was making his own pasta, damn it! and since his death, without attempting to recreate the maternal cannoli or her divine Tiramisu, he was cooking himself all his meal. Frozen dinner was evil, point.

 

“You eat this shit and worse you give it to your little brother? This is not how he can regain strength!”

 

Leo blushes:

 

“I’m not a great cook.”

 

“Leave this scrap, there must be something else.”

 

Without embarrassment, Raph opened the fridge and cupboards and made a brief inventory.

 

“Good, not what to do a banquet, but I can make a western omelet. You have eggs, milk, peppers, tomatoes, onions, ham and cheese. You see, with your sauce ranch, I'll spread the omelet in these tortillas. They expire tomorrow, as much use them. It will be better for me and the kid. You, I don’t give a damn if you want to eat your radioactive orange shit.”

 

Leo smirked, but Raph saw how the blue eyes shone that he was warmed. He felt butterflies in his belly and bent his head so that his mid-long hair covered his flushed cheeks.

 

He did the meal under the amused eye of Leo who was playing at the counter with Mikey.

 

"There you are," he said, handing everyone a plate. With a remaining romaine lettuce that he had sprinkled with a mixture of spices, oil and balsamic vinegar and to which he had added the remaining tomato, he had even created a side salad. In the fridge, he had found Sapporo. He opened one and offered a second to Leo.

 

Leo's eyes opened, amazed:

 

“Have you really done something that looks so delicious in such a short time and with the food we already had?”

 

Never had compliment made him so warm to the heart. They ate heartily.

 

“You want to come live with us? Leo is a horrible cook!”

 

Leo, falsely angry, protested that Mikey was ungrateful. Raph, stirred, looked at the spectacle of fraternal tenderness. He regretted never having had a little brother. If he had someone to care for and protect, his life would make more sense. Maybe he would make a better father than he thought?

 

“You are right, Leo. You are the best of big brothers. I hope that when I am dead you will find someone who deserves you and that you will finally be happy.”

 

Raphael choked on his sip of beer, while Leo paled to the point of being almost translucent.

 

The boy seemed oblivious to his words and asked for dessert. Raph stood up to make a bowl of ice cream to Mikey who accepted it wholeheartedly, without seeming to notice how livid his big brother was.

 

“Excuse me ... I have something to pick up in my room for the assignment.”

 

Raph nodded and took a second beer. He guessed that Leo was going to soak his pillow with tears, but was far too proud to admit it.

 

When the handsome teenager was out of sight, Raphael gently questioned the blond.

 

“Why did you grieve Leo talking about death?”

 

"I heard cousin Donny tell Leo that he had to get ready to lose me. Leo said that if this happened, he would never love anyone because everyone he loved would die. I don’t want Leo to be unhappy afterward. I want him to love, to live the great love I would never live, to have a son whit my name. I want him to understand that he has my permission to live and laugh after my death. Leo has already lost so many of his girlfriends because of me.”

 

Raphael, upset, was on the point of claiming an urgent desire to go and hide tears too, but the last sentence aroused his curiosity.

 

“Really? Why? He had a lot of girlfriends?”

 

“I didn’t see them all. But they dislike Leo refusing to go out so often. When our mother was away, Leo didn’t want to leave me alone. And when I was there, they thought he was paying too much attention. Then I sometimes have nightmares and wake up at night. Besides, several times a night Leo gets up to check if I'm still breathing. This prevented his girlfriends from sleeping. That's why I told cousin Donny not to lose money for my pills. I am tired of being a burden.”

 

“Stop being stupid. You're not a burden to Leo.”

 

Raph didn’t know what else to say. Life, death, love. Suddenly these concepts took on a different dimension. The discussion was on a much more serious level than he had ever heard in his life. Even when his father handed him a gun and said ...

 

The little boy held back his bowl, smiling. Raphael made him two big scopes, repressing his tears. The happy kid turned on the television and ate his bowl with enthusiasm. Raph swung a moment on what to do. Mikey seemed pleased with his fate, with his dessert in front of the cartoons. Leo, on the other hand, had to be in agony.

 

He turned in the corridor where Leo had disappeared and knocked on the door from which it seemed to come from light sobs.

 

“Just a moment… I'm looking for something.”

 

Raphael rolled his eyes. Leo really took him for a dumbass. He pushed open the door and entered. As he had imagined, the young man's face was streaked with tears.

 

He didn’t give him time to take offense at this invasion of his private space. He sat on the bed and put his hand on Leo's back, in a gesture of comfort.

 

“The little one didn’t mean to hurt you. He spoke without thinking.”

 

“I know. It's just that ... he shouldn’t think so. I do everything to preserve his taste for life.”

 

“Hey. You may be trying too hard. He doesn’t want you to make so much effort. He loves you and wants to see you enjoy life ... in his place.”

 

Raphael had never been good to console. It didn’t come naturally to him. To his own father, he had given no word of sympathy for the death of his brother Marcello. But for Leo and Mikey, words flowed more easily.

 

“You think so?”

 

Leo's head rested on his shoulder. Raph saw only black hair, but he suspected that the touch wasn’t intended to provoke him sexually. The chest twitched with sobs and the muscular boy wanted to retain a desire to extend this touch and even deepen it. He had really become disturbed and he couldn’t blame either the coke or the seductive attitude of the other young man.

 

He decided to half satisfy this desire while comforting the student, choking with tears. He closed his arms around him and kissed the ebony hair, as his own mother did when he had skinned one knee as he fell off his bike.

 

For a few moments, that was enough. Then, by the fact that his hands gently caressed the side of the young man, he felt a tingling. In spite of himself, his hands put more emphasis on their movements, the gesture being no longer a mere comforter and Leo had to feel it because he raised his head.

 

“What are you going to blame this time? Pity?”

 

“ No.”

 

His voice was hoarse, dripping with desire. He hates himself neither to feel it for this boy, but to feel it in the present situation.

 

Leo's face was only inches away and Raph's eyes flew unconsciously to the boy's still-hugged lips, then returned to the eyes to read their expression, waiting for a sign, an encouragement, no matter what. He stood at the edge of the precipice, ready to jump at the slightest pressure. Leo bit his lips with nervousness, no doubt, but it did it.

 

He engulfed his lips in a passionate kiss. It was no longer the little experimentation of the day before. He was fully aware of his actions and knew he was going to spend the night and the next day and weeks to regret it, but he couldn’t really care about it at the moment.

 

Leo responded more than the day before and although Raph said that it couldn’t lead very far, the little brother of Leo being only a few pieces away, he couldn’t bring himself to abandon these soft lips with a taste still salty with tears. He only let them go for a brief moment as he passed the t-shirt over Leo's head. He hadn’t taken the time to remove the day before and he wanted to kiss every inch of this stripped chest.

He pushed him gently on the bed and began to cover the pectoral and muscular belly of his lips. Strangely, he wasn’t put off by the firmness of the body beneath him, where he usually met softer flesh and bouncy breasts. He didn’t even think of it. His mouth went down to the elastic of Leo's sports pants. He tugged a little and continued to kiss the white skin, whose fine black hairs indicated he was dangerously close to the limit of what was really serious and what wasn’t so much. Leo in his haste had not even put on underwear and this thought burned him to the core. He raised his eyes to meet Leo's lascivious gaze, which must glow with his own. The sapphire eyes launched a glare that Raph took as a challenge. Leo challenged him to go further and he never turned his back on a challenge, especially when the reward was so good.

 

He pulled the pants again, pulling it down more than 2 inches’, revealing the light ebony pubic hair entirely. He kissed it, stroking his nose to it, sniffing his spicy scent.  while looking at his partner. He was pleased to see that Leo no longer crying, completely consumed by the pleasure and the anticipation of even greater enjoyments. Leo’s cock was swollen and hard, he felt it, as his own.

 

While he was ready to completely remove Leo’s pants and take his sex in his mouth, there was a shout.

“Leo! Cousin Donny called. He says he'll finish earlier tonight and your friend can go home because he's prepared a draft for you to present. Itis in his room. He says the job will be finished on Sunday. Can we play Scattergories before your friend leaves, please?”

 

Leo stood up as if he had received a discharge.

 

“Hey, yes Mikey. I arrive.

 

Leo put on his T-shirt at great speed, all traces of sexual arousal disappearing from his expression. Without looking at Raphael, visibly nervous, he said:

 

“You have no reason to come here. Mikey will be disappointed. He saw himself eating like a king every time.”

 

Raphael got up without saying anything. Leo tried to joke, to lighten the atmosphere, but a mass weighed heavily on him. Although he has no legitimate right to do so, he wanted to know who exactly was for his partner, "cousin Donny". he could do nothing but admit the obvious: jealousy consumed him.

 

Raphael wanted to hold Leo by the arm. He didn’t know exactly what he wanted to say, but he felt the need to justify what he had done. He had knelt beside his rival a hair's breadth from giving him a blowjob. Delivered from his excitement, consciousness comes back to him. Shame overwhelmed him, making him almost capsize.

 

This hesitation made him lose his opportunity and he could only follow Leo on his heels as he entered his cousin's room. While Leo was collecting a document on the desk of the absent, Raph's indifferent eyes looked around him. Suddenly, he felt his intestines twist.

 

On the nightstand, probably just opposite the face of the supposed cousin, a frame similar to those in the living room surrounded a picture of Leo and the owner of the room. On the photograph, Donny draped his arm around Leo's shoulders in a way that displeased him greatly by his apparent possessiveness. In the same way, the proximity of their bodies made the temples beat too fast.

 

“What does this weirdo do with your photo on his bedside table?”

 

“Donny is not weird. Just shy. And it's not a picture of "me" but "us". I am his only family and he wanted to recreate a photo similar to those of our fathers. He has no other friend, either. Only me.”

 

“No shit” Raph sneered.

 

“No matter what you think of him! Why do I have to explain all this to you? We are at his home, here and he can put the picture of who he wants in his room!”

 

Leo's voice had warmed slightly, which only had the effect of inflaming Raphael's anger.

 

“What are you talking about? Have you seen how he presses you against him? It's completely twisted!”

 

“Why? Because he is a man? Are you still going to get me these accusations of homosexuality that you throw in the face of everyone? Donny isn’t gay, nor me. And he has someone, just like me I have someone in my sight. Your jealousy is unfounded.”

 

“ ... I'm not damn jealous!”

 

The black eyebrows raised in a mimic of disbelief

 

“Really? Why all these questions, then? It looks like a jealous tantrum. And if I press you against me this way, would it be crooked? Would you like a similar picture in your room that you could watch every morning?”

 

“You're saying fucking nonsense!”

 

“Whatever. Here is your part.”

 

Raph glanced angrily at his sheet, intended for the "other guy," consisting of four dry lines, while the one for Leo, addressed to his name, surrounded by watermarks, had more than half a page. His guts told him there was something wrong with this Donny, but he knew he wasn’t in a position to demand answers. He tried to swallow his questions, but Raph refused to leave the conversation on this misunderstanding. He wasn’t jealous, damn ... only, only confused, okay? He had made advances to Leo because he felt bad for him about his situation with his brother.

 

"Are you going to blame pity this time? -No » He blushed with embarrassment and anger at himself as he remembered these words exchanged a quarter of an hour ago. He had to save face. He wouldn’t leave there, letting Leo imagine a scenario, that he could blabber later. He would have enough to deal with Lisa and gossip no doubt.

 

“If there is a jealousy here, it's your cousin! Why did he insist so much on doing this work for us?”

 

Leo rolled his blue irises.

 

"Senzi, you got what you wanted. A paper well-done with an "A" mention at the end. You can go join your sweetheart, as long as you read these lines tomorrow.”

 

Leo nervously ran his hands through his dark hair, biting his lips. Raph couldn’t help but find him adorable and regret Mikey's untimely interruption. Raphael didn’t understand how he had come to something incredibly hot at these last pithy replicas. But he had to leave. NOW. He had compromised himself enough like that. He couldn’t refrain from detailing each part of Leo's body and wanting to impregnate a mark so that nobody touches it. His body screamed at him to push the other male on the bed to possess him. It was insane. He turned on his heels, followed by Leo.

 

In the living room, Mikey was waiting for them, his eyes wide with hope.

 

“Will we play? I prepared everything!”

 

Raphael only wanted to get away from temptation as much as possible, but resisting Mikey's puppy's eyes was an impossible task. Moreover, if the rational part of him said to run, the instinctive part told him to continue where they had been interrupted. Despite his condescending attitude, Leo wanted too, shit! He was sure of it! sure of it.

“Yeah, if your big brother wants, why not?”

 

They played a few games and Mikey watched cartoons, where he fell asleep before the end.

 

The blond boy's head was resting on Leo's lap, which affectionately stroked his hair. Raphael felt his chest feel a soft, unusual heat. In his life, he had seen nothing more beautiful than that handsome face of a man with jet-black hair, pure as that of a Madonna, leaning toward the pale face of a child. He promised himself to paint something similar, art being one of his derivatives.

 

“I will put him to bed.”

 

“Do you want me to help you?”

 

-No, it'll be fine, but if you can get his bed ready, it'll help me.”

 

Raph hurried to meet Leo to remove the child's bed covers.

 

Leo leaned over and kissed the forehead of his younger brother and Raphael almost took to wish to be in his place.

 

When they returned to the salon, he had a brief moment of discomfort:

 

“It is 7:50. You have to leave, right?”

 

Raphael didn’t answer. At present, he no longer even remembered the alibi he had yet given. He noticed that Leo seemed nervous and the primitive part of him wanted to take advantage of this weakness.

“No. I broke up.” He said, suddenly remembering his excuse.

 

This had the merit of attracting the attention of the student with black hair.

 

“Why?”

 

Raphael blushes thinking about the reasons for his breakup. It was out of the question to make them out loud. To hide his discomfort, he became angry:

 

“I don’t have to give you reason!”

 

Suddenly, Leo entered his living space. Without touching him directly, he approached at a point that Raphael deemed alienating.

 

“Why, then, pretending to meet her?” Leo questioned.

 

His hands rested on his shoulders and the haunting lips came dangerously close to his. An alarm siren sounded in his head. Earlier, he had control. But suddenly, this proximity frightened him. His desire reached an unparalleled peak and he began to be afraid, while the lips brushed his lips delicately.

 

“Are you afraid of what you feel for me? Did you leave your girlfriend for that?”

 

The teen's pelvis pressed against his and his tongue sped on his neck. Raphael felt liquefied on the floor as a hand caressed his genitals through the jeans. One more minute and he was going to sob like a baby for the other male to take him. Leo was too close to the truth and his pride refused. This loss of control, this "tabula rasa" of his landmarks, frightened him too much.

 

He pushed the other boy away brutally. He hadn’t intended to be so hasty, but the dread led him to extreme measures.

 

“Don’t touch me! You lunatic”

Leo stared at him indefinitely. He walked to the entrance door and opened it

 

“Take the paper and go away.”

 

The voice, without being cold, was of a neutrality that pierced his heart.

 

Raphael hated everything about this situation. He wanted to be able to have no damn to give and stay in bed with Leo, all night long. He hated his pride, his education, his family. Why was it so bad?

 

Green eyes stared at the blues for an indefinite time. Raphael knew that his desire and regret were also expressed in his face, revealing how much he was going against his will. Raphael saw the half-open mouth, the panting breath, and the tense body of the young man.. A call to be marked, used, destroyed and rebuilt to which all the fibers of his body wanted to respond. He tried one last resistance.

 

“I don’t know what you're playing, okay? But find yourself another victim to tease.”

 

Leo's face remained stoical, but he stepped back three steps:

 

“ I will.”

 

Under these cryptic words, which he didn’t take the time to analyze, without a look back, not knowing if he could resist, he left, crossing the cousin Donny on the stairs. He didn’t even look at him. The important thing is to put as much distance as possible between him and his temptation.


	5. A sexual swingball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is beta. It should be better. Sorry for the last.

It was a few days later and Raphael was going crazy. He’d avoided any confrontation with Leo and had only approached him when they’d had to present the summary of their project in front of the class. The worst thing was that he’d seen Leo’s neck marked with hickeys and bites during sport that same day. Were they his from the day before? He remembered the soft skin of the young man’s body too well. Were they caused by Elena or Cousin Donnie? His nails had pierced his palms at this idea, while Casey joked about Leo’s possible encounter with a vampire. He wasn’t jealous. He didn’t care about Leo.

He could only picture what was under the blue shorts during sports. It had seemed like he still had the woody smell that emanated from the boy in his nostrils. He’d tried to divert his thoughts. He wouldn’t have an erection in the gym. Damn it! He’d studied the shower tiles in front of him, while he’d washed, not even turning to meet Casey’s gaze, fearing he’d see the beautiful teenager in the periphery and that everyone would see his cock grow erect. He had to take control of his life and show that the blue-eyed boy didn't influence his behavior. Denying his existence was the most straightforward solution, he thought. But that sadly seemed more natural to say than to do it.

Leo didn’t seem to be more inclined to talk to him, and without avoiding him, just ignored him. The blue irises focussed on everything, apart from Raphael, and when they couldn’t avoid seeing him, they seemed to stare at Raphael without seeing him. The indifferent flayed Raphael, though he wanted to deny it to himself.

Leo had changed his usual place in the cafeteria. He sat where Raphael couldn't see him without unscrewing his head, but where he, Leo, could observe him. Whether he was watching him or not made Raphael lose his damn mind. Raphael had sometimes subtly tried to turn his head to check if Leo was watching him, but unable to make eye contact with him, he only had a brief glimpse of the young black-haired man.

What didn’t help was that the conversation was too often about Leo, Casey and his other friends on the basketball team. Leo was a god at ice-skating and had been asked by the school to teach ninjitsu classes after school. Envy no longer made Raphael clench his teeth when he heard Leo praised. Raphael wanted to erase the name from his mind. It was hard enough blocking the memories of the other man’s touch against him when he showered. He could no longer masturbate, despite all of his efforts to substitute another face and body for the partner of his fantasies.

He scrupulously followed his father's instructions to divert his thoughts. Those were enough to drown anyone’s dirty thoughts.

The only good news was that Lisa seemed to have understood. She’d threated to spread her lies and he’d threatened her with much worse. She’d scrupulously avoided it since then. Finding a new girlfriend wasn't a big concern for him at the moment.

The trainer called him to his office at the break. He’d noticed that Raphael wasn't himself and attributed this change to the fact that he’d learned his lesson.

“Senzi, I received the memo about you being more attentive in class, more punctual and hardworking. Your assignment with Mr. Hamato looks excellent, according to your teacher and you haven’t had any altercations for some time. I heard that you had a conflict with Mr. Hamato, but he denied it. He’s asked me to make you join the team. You heard me right. Tony Malone is leaving our school, so his place on our team’s vacant. We’re offering you this position and the principal is in agreement.”

Raphael was stunned. His self-esteem had always known that his coach would one day beg him on his knees to rejoin the team, but the idea that Leo had insisted upon it and that he’d even denied their public conflict stirred him.

Raphael had announced the news to his teammates, who’d warmly congratulated him. Casey had mentioned that someone should maybe organize a farewell party for Tony and the whole team could go to it. Raphael couldn’t help quickly imagining a scene with a slightly drunk Leo, who was moaning in pleasure, in his bed. And moaning all night long, without his cousin, a little brother or any other interference. He could fuck, caress and mark the white flesh in damn peace for good.  Despite himself, he salivated at the thought.

“I’ll do it,” Raphael said.

Casey, surprised, said in disbelief, “Are you sure, Raph? I mean, uh, you broke Tony's nose the other day and called him a "useless little idiot.”

“Exactly. This is to gain his forgiveness. It’ll be great! Grandiose,” Raphael said eagerly.

Casey seemed dumbfounded by the use of the word.

“Grandiose, Raph? He’s just a guy and not even your friend by the way, who’s changing schools. It’s not a Sicilian wedding!”

Raphael turned pissed off and said, “Hey! I said that I wanted to do something good! What’s your problem with that, Jones?"

“Nothing and as long as there are girls and beer, it’ll be cool. There’s no need to make a fuss. I can bring chips and Frank will bring chicken wings and…”

“That’s shit. I’m calling my restaurant. I’ll ask for a buffet. Ape, give me a pen.”

“A buffet? Raph, it’s only Tony,” Casey said, not understanding Raphael’s excitement.

Raphael didn’t answer, feverishly writing all he needed on a paper napkin.

Casey read it over his shoulder and his eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"Antipasti for thirty people? Melon and prosciutto? Carpaccio of beef with parmesan and rolled with eggplant with ricotta and ham, Raph?  Tiramisu? Shit. It’s a basketball party! There are only us twelve guys! Are you going to ask us to wear tuxedos?” Casey seemed to think and his face lit up. “That’s it. I know why you’re doing this. You want to impress a new girl that you have in your sights. Is that why?”

Raphael fiercely denied it and said, “Stop being a pain in the ass! I'm trying to impress no one, okay? I just want to be kind to Tony.”

Without realizing it, he’d hit the table and had grabbed Casey by the collar.

“Okay,” Casey said. “It’s good, Raph. You can let me go. You just want to be nice.”

Raphael loosened his hold, embarrassed at having lost so much control of himself. Of course, after such a demonstration of angry denials, Casey KNEW that he was up to something. He’d been his best friend for almost a decade.

Casey made a soothing gesture anyway and said, “I was just kidding. Can the guys, April and I help you?”

Raphael blushed. He had to order the food, ask Johnny Useful to buy alcohol in his place and his maid to pass. That was all easy. The insurmountable difficulty were the invitations, precisely inviting ONE person in particular. He was on the team, so the captain’s presence was obvious, but their rivalry was well-known. Raphael’s insistence on his presence would raise questions and it would be better if he designated Casey. Thus, he wouldn’t DIRECTLY have to invite the handsome player.

“Yes, Casey. I want you to invite ALL of the team. And you, Ape and cheerleaders, who’re in a relationship with players. And also three or four of your friends. Not Lisa. I’m going to invite two or three friends, who aren't on the team, but I don't want more than thirty people. I want it to stay pretty private. I don't want people to get in and not leave...

He didn’t continue, but his imagination once again conjured up the image of his hands stroking Leo’s soft skin in his room after the guests had left.

" _No. Stop that, Raph,_ " he thought, angry at himself. " _This has nothing to do with him. You don’t want to impress him or bring him to your room. He might not come, but it doesn’t matter. It’s not for him. You've been a jerk to Tony for years. You just want to show that you can sometimes be nice."_

Casey’s heavy look dragged him out of his thoughts. “Good, Casey. I’ll order that. Don’t forget to invite the whole team.”

“Even the…?”

“Yeah. I’ll call the caterer."

Raph strode away from the table to avoid hearing the question. He’d been pretty clear when he mentioned "the whole team," right? He didn't need to formulate it more explicitly.

He called Johnny Useful too. He was his father's henchman for everything that wasn't important "business." Johnny was a loyal and resourceful man, but his Parkinson's prevented him from holding a weapon. He was one of the few men, who liked Raphael and his father had almost made Johnny available to him from birth.  Minor, despite the fact that no one gave him his 18th birthday with his imposing physique, finding such a quantity of alcohol to accommodate thirty people, could be complicated. He, therefore, instructed the old Sicilian to provide him with what he needed.

He sent Johnny a text message, ordering him to buy a dozen bottles of grappa, twenty-five bottles of Prosecco, and twenty-eight cases of Italian beers. Raphael Senzi was generous with providing alcohol, but he was more concerned with his own tastes than those of his guests’. He’d never bought Heineken for Casey for example. If his best friend wanted something specific, he had to bring it himself.

Nevertheless, he ordered Johnny to buy a whole box of twelve Sapporo that had to go in the fridge first.

Raphael later loudly asked Casey about the invitation during gym class when Leo was only a few lockers away from them and chatting with another player.

"So, Case, “Raphael said. “You invited everyone on the team, didn't you? All the players and Tony. Is that right?"

"Yeah, Raph. Tony was very touched. He was amazed. He thought you hated him."

Raphael made a gesture that could be interpreted that he didn't care about Tony's opinion.

"You’ll see. It’ll be a great evening. Look what I ordered."

Raphael handed the phone to Casey so that he could see where his prodigality was leading him. His friend seemed stunned by the indecent amount al alcohol.

“Yes, but it’s going to cost you a lot, right?”

“Nothing’s too good for my friends."

Raphael’s peremptory sentence made Casey look at him incredulously.

“I wonder what you’d have done if I REALLY being your friend, had left. But yeah, April invited some girls and only those, who are the players’ girlfriends. But she wanted to know if there was a specific girl you wanted her to ask to come over since you haven’t been with Lisa for over a week now.”

Raphael understood the full significance of the question. He was never single for long and was on the lookout for a new conquest the day after a breakup. Apparently, Casey and April still believed that the party was a means of seduction. They were right in a sense, but they didn’t need to know that. Should he ask for a girl as a cover for who he really wanted? He’d then have to fake paying attention to her.

“No. I almost regret inviting girls. If I hadn’t, I could have asked for some exotic dancers,” Raphael said with a wink.

Casey was even more puzzled, but he shrugged, knowing better than to question his best buddy.

"Okay, man. It’s your party."

Raphael glanced at Leo, who, without seeming to hear it, was going to put on his shorts. He had time to notice the impressive bulge at the front of the blue boxer shorts and to glimpse some black hairs on the lower abdomen. His face reddened, as he remembered that his lips had traveled the body abandoned the week before and they’d even been under these boxers. It seemed to him like it had been ages ago.

Leo’s indifference, while he’d invited him to his party, tormented him. He wanted to provoke a reaction. “Uh, Leo. I wanted to tell you….” Raphael began.

The black haired head turned sharply, blue eyes staring at him with an intensity that made him forget the flatness he had on the tip of his tongue.

Tony arrived and said, “Raph, dude! I can’t believe it! Jones told me everything you’ve planned for tomorrow. I thought you wanted to seduce a prospective girl, but Case said no and that you don’t have your eye on one and that everything’s for me. Wow. I’m touched. How did you know I love Sapporo? We’ve never drunk together, have we?”

Raphael felt the full weight of the ironic blue gaze, though he did his best to forget the other hockey player’s presence.

“See you at the gym, Raph,” Tony said and hugged him. “Thanks again, man.”

Raphael didn’t return the hug, petrified with humiliation.

"Senzi, did you want to tell me something?" Leo asked.

Arms folded, his mouth in a mocking pout and a lock of hair falling over his eyes, a shirtless and beautiful Leo was waiting for an answer. The son of a bitch had understood Raphael’s scheme of course.

"Kiss my ass!" Raphael snapped, flustered.

And he ran to hide his shame at the gym.

Raphael spent the day trying to convince himself that Leo had been fooled and that he hadn’t made the connection with himself, but he knew that was bullshit. Raphael had been good at denials since the little fucker’s arrival.

He was shocked after classes ended. His eyes barely had time to send the message to his brain. His legs moved him and he punched the locker next to the couple, who were French kissing. Elena’s fingers were intertwined with the black hair and pressing Leo’s head against her face and Leo’s arms were wrapped around her waist.

“What the fuck?” Raphael shouted, two inches away from the young man’s stoic face, his green eyes blazing.

Leo met his gaze and didn’t blink.

“Raphael,” Elena said furiously. “I don’t know what your problem is! We haven't been together for months. You ditched me to run in Lisa's arms, remember? You can't imagine that I’ll take you back. It's over between us! You have to accept it!"

Raphael felt like he was being overwhelmed by a tsunami. He had to recognize it once again. He was jealous, but not about Elena. He didn’t care about the pretty brunette with her periwinkle eyes. He was jealous of Leo. Seeing him kiss someone else had hurt him to the point he’d never felt before. It was if his whole being had shattered and had left him raw and exposed. The suffering had made him lose it. And he’d had a fit of jealousy in the middle of the school corridor. In public. Elena’s presence could be a credible reason for his overreaction because the whole school knew they’d dated.

Elena kissed Leo again and said, “I’m off to practice. See you later, my love. Call me.”

Raphael’s face twisted in rage upon hearing the sweet nickname. Barely realizing he was trying to break Leo’s wrist since he’d snatched it from the girl’s body, Raphael growled lowly, “Why are you doing this?”

The irony reappeared in the bright eyes and Leo said, “You have to do something about your bipolar, Senzi. What exactly are you talking about?”

Raphael shook him, pressed Leo’s body against the locker and said, “Don’t pretend you’re innocent. I know you did that on purpose. You’ve had fun driving me crazy from the beginning!"

Leo raised an eyebrow and said, “I’m doing that? You told me to leave you alone. I did, right?”

“No. Making Elena does her goo-goo eyes in front of me isn’t exactly my idea of leaving me the fuck alone."

Leo made a conciliatory gesture with his free hand and said. “I’m sorry. She told me that you guys were over, but if you still want her, I’ll back out. You were first of course,” he said with a mocking smile.

Raphael’s face darkened and he said, “Bullshit. You know what I'm talking about. I know you know it."

Leo’s eyes half closed, as he adopted a lascivious expression. “Do you mean that you’re not jealous of her, but are about me? That you can’t bear my lips touching anyone else’s? You’re also so possessive and nothing’s happened between us yet! It’s adorable! What’s the next step, Senzi? Are you going to invite me to Valentine’s dance in two weeks’ time? Can we wear coordinated clothes?” Leo burst out laughing.

Raphael punched the locker three times with his free hand that was a few inches away from an imperturbable Leo’s face and said, “Shut up! You know I can’t do that! But that’s not a reason for…Forget it!”

In disgust, but more for himself than for Leo, Raphael walked away from Leo, who wryly watched him.

Raphael felt trapped and caught with a desire that he couldn’t fully satisfy. He left school and went to the parking lot, thinking about Leo’s words with rage. He suddenly stopped, realizing something. Leo had said ‘You’re also so possessive and nothing’s happened between us yet!’

That could only have one meaning. Leo thought something would eventually happen between them. He thought about the party the following day. The celebration that Leo knew he’d really organized for him. Leo would let himself go, being no doubt touched by Raphael’s efforts. He probably wanted Raphael, like he wanted Leo. He’d responded to his kisses, hadn’t he? Leo didn’t seem to find desiring a man wrong or bizarre. In all probability, he’d satisfy his curiosity the next day. Because it was probably about that. Once his desire had been met, he’d move on. It was like marijuana. He’d been obsessed with trying it at 13. The desire had faded a month later and disgusted with the smell and not liking it, he’d stopped smoking it. He’d no doubt fuck Leo and turn away faster. He wouldn’t make a fuss, like Lisa and the other girls had done and he wouldn’t cling to him. It wasn’t like he had to stay chaste until marriage, right? And it wasn’t like they loved one another.

Reassured, Raphael started his car.

It was finally Friday afternoon. The classes had just ended, and he could go home and finish his preparations because training was canceled. He was in an excellent mood. He’d finally masturbated that morning while thinking about the other student in his shower.

He wasn’t gay and had read an article that morning that stated that Deadpool was pansexual. " **The term “bisexual” would be too narrow for Deadpool, who has flirted with Thor, propositioned Spider-Man and wouldn’t rule out unicorns. A pendulum moves in just two directions; he is more like a sexual swingball."** Okay, its was just publicity shit for a  new movie, but curious, he’d read the official definition of pansexual.

**"A pansexual individual ignores the gender and sex of his partners and doesn't focus on what is considered a label.”**

Raphael had decided that definition applied to Leo. Not him. Leo was a foreigner.  It must have been the new trend in this country. Damn! Even Marvel was in this shit, now, so it must be a popular thing somewhere. Moreover, Leo's parents were dead, leaving him free to do what he wanted. He didn’t have to deal with macho traditions and prejudices. Raphael was only curious and Leo not being gay himself, there was no shame in satisfying the desire.

It had been a long day and Raph couldn't wait to have Leo's attractive naked body in his bed. He’d always had a healthy libido, but he didn’t remember ever having wanted to touch and to own a body.

When Raphael arrived home, he couldn’t bear it anymore. He’d had a raging hard-on all the way home. He sat on the chair, took out his cock, began stroking himself and took out the laptop near him.

He did a quick search on a porn video site. He’d never watched men with men before, but he wanted to know what to expect and what to do, so he didn’t look like a complete moron to Leo.

He greedily watched several videos, trying to make his pleasure last. When he gave in, unable to bear any more, his cum all over his hands, he knew he’d find the evening dreadfully long. It would be quite an ordeal not to grab Leo in front of everyone and take him to his room.

The housekeeper had already moved the furniture and set up the tables according to his instructions. Raphael only had to get ready. He took a long showered, combed his hair with gel into a ponytail, which he hadn’t done since the wedding he’d gone to the previous spring. He also shaved more carefully than usual and applied cologne. He debated for a long time what to wear. Then he told himself that he wasn’t a girl and casual clothes would be fine. In any case, the style had worked, considering how many hearts it had broken.

The catering team arrived at six to set up everything Raphael had ordered to impress Leo. Red tablecloths, candles, golden silverware, potted plants with scarlet flowers everywhere. It was okay anyway with the Italian Baroque furniture in the living room. Venetian red lanterns were set up in the courtyard right up to the jacuzzi, which could fit twelve people. Raphael wasn’t the only high school student from a better off family. After all, his father only officially had one restaurant and a catering company. But he loved his friends’ flashy things and he thought he had the most beautiful home. Leo lived in a lovely apartment, but it was extremely minimalist and cold. The red, gold, opulence and flamboyant passion would surely impress Leo and fill him with admiration.  Raphael had also secretly set his bedroom up the same way to create a sensual atmosphere. It was of course out of the question for anyone else other than Leo and himself to see the room, because his projects and why he’d done them would then be too obvious.

Well, okay. It was all too obvious anyway because it looked more like an early Valentine's Day party than a wannabe basketball player’s farewell party. He didn’t have to do the same thing, like the last party he’d organized when they’d only eaten hot dogs.

Casey arrived at 6:45 with April and three of her girlfriends.

Casey’s eyes widened when he saw the extravagance. “Okay, Raph. I didn’t know you thought of Tony so highly. I wonder why you didn’t make a statue carved in glace of him in the living room. Can I come in or is there a dress code? Shit, April. I think I forgot my thank you speech in the taxi. Raph, why didn’t you send limos to pick us up by the way?”

“Would you drop it already?” Raphael snapped and grabbed his guests’ coats.

April looked at the long table that was weighted down with all of the culinary delights.

“Wow. It’s exquisite. You’re really kind to have put so much effort into this.”

The next twenty guests were equally impressed and gave similar compliments. Tony had tears in his eyes. Raphael gestured that it didn’t matter. He only wanted one person’s admiration and that person hadn’t yet arrived and he was waiting by the door, his stomach tightened in knots and thinking about Leo’s beautiful face expressing his admiration. The extravagance and the cost didn’t matter. He could afford it.

He grew anxious when Leo still hadn’t arrived at 7:25. Casey, who’d been studying him for more than twenty minutes, came over and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, Raph. I think everyone’s here, man. There’s no need to stay by the door. Come eat with us!"

Raphael swallowed; his mouth dry. He didn’t know if he dared say out loud what he was waiting for, but Casey was his friend and he wouldn’t judge him, would he?

He said in a casual way anyway, “I don’t see Hamato. You invited him, right?"

“Of course I did. You said everyone, but he won’t come.”

"What?"

Raphael failed to hide his shock and immense disappointment. He brutally reproached Casey for not telling him earlier and asked him why his secret honor guest was absent.

“Raph, Leo’s only one person. It’s not like you’re up to 1$. And you don’t get along very well with him. I thought you only invited him out of politeness. Elena doesn't want to come to your place and Leo didn't want to force her."

“He could have come alone!” Raphael shouted, so distressed that he didn’t care about being loud.

“That’s what I told him but….Raph, what’s the matter?”

Casey had noticed that his friend’s eyes were flashing and he looked angry.

Raphael tried to calm down. He was about to lose it again in public. He looked around him at the now unwelcome fragrant flowers. He’d spent 2000$ just on flowers. All of the money had gone down the drain. No. There might still be hope. It was only 7:30.

“Case, text Leo and tell him it’s the party of the year. Take pictures of the decorations, food and of everything, okay? Get his ass here by any means.”

Casey looked at Raph and said nothing. His friends distraught and his pleas probably telling him a lot, but Raphael didn’t give a damn anymore. If Leo didn’t come, he’d throw everyone out, no matter what it did to his reputation.

Casey handed him his phone and said, “I have his number. Call him yourself."

Torn, Raphael took the cell. The idea of begging Leo was repugnant, but not seeing him was unbearable. He typed, “It’s Sensei, Leo. You’re missing a beautiful evening. You can come without Elena. There are others here to seduce.” He held his breath, waiting for an answer and wondering if Leo would grasp the second meaning of the message.

**“So what? I might not want to seduce other people.”**

Raphael bit his lip. Leo wouldn’t let him have it easy of course.

**“Shit! Are you on the team? Yes or no? You have to come.”**

**“I will on one condition.”**

Raphael was bewildered by the other teen’s arrogance.

**“WTF? Shove your condition in your prick ass!”**

Raphael smacked his forehead. He had a knack for putting himself in impossible situations. He yielded, glad he’d sent texts and not called.

**"What's your fucking condition?**

**“Admit you want to see me, that you feel alone at your home with your friends without me and that you miss me.”**

**“Fuck U!”**

Raphael gritted his teeth and cursed his impulsiveness. He knew he was going to give in and Leo would probably laugh his ass off. He might show Raph’s texts to the entire school to make fun of him. Responding to Leo was almost like social suicide and the asshole knew it.

**“Okay.  It’s all true. You happy, Leo? Bring your fucking ass already. I want you here in ten minutes."**

**“So eager, huh? That’s cute. I’ve been at your door since your first text.”**

Raphael dropped the phone and opened the door, almost believing it was a joke.

Leo was there and was dressed in a light gray mid-length coat and wearing what was meant to be an innocent smile.

 

Raphael stepped back to let him in and the blue eyes sparkled with curiosity.

“You like your buddy, Tony, don’t you?” Leo commented nonchalantly, as he removed his scarf and gloves before taking off his coat, having already taken off his snow-covered boots, so that Raphael would hang them in the closet.

“No. You can put your stuff in my room."

Leo stopped in his tracks and straightened up, his expression neutral.

“Lead the way.”

Raphael’s heart pounding at the implicit permission, he went to his room, excited to show Leo what he’d done, knowing that the beautiful student was closely following him.


	6. A party and a snowstorm

Leo looked at the room worthy of a luxury Asian brothel with a smirk and said, “Are you waiting for someone, Senzi?”

“I was.”

“Do you know that all of these candles are a fire hazard?” Leo said, handing Raphael his coat and not seeming to hear his host’s usage of the word was.

Raphael had no idea what game his guest was playing, but he was growing impatient. He’d waited too long for Leo, too repressed his desire for him and he’d been so afraid that Leo wouldn’t come. He knew he couldn’t satiate his urges on the spot, but he’d go crazy if he didn’t immediately get a glimpse. Leo made a move to open the door to get out. With one hand, Raph kept a hand on the door, so that it didn’t open and with the other, he turned his guest towards to him.

“You’ve driven me crazy all week long,” Raphael said. “Make up for it I wrote what you wanted and it’s your turn to do what I want."

Leo raised an eyebrow and said, “Well, what do you want?"

"You."

The answer had been said without any hesitation. Denying his obvious desire was futile.

“I don’t think you’ve done anything to deserve that honor,” Leo said quietly and folded his arms.

Leo’s reply had been said with disdain and Raphael saw red.

“What are you talking about, Leo? And that?” Raphael furiously demanded, pointing to the room. “I prepared all of this FOR YOU.”

“For me? I didn’t notice.”

Leo’s voice was neutral and almost disinterested. Raphael was taken aback. He hadn’t expected passive resistance.

“Bullshit, Leo. You understood that the party was for you from the beginning!”

“You talk about it as if you were a king, who’d wished to honor his favorite mistress. I'm not your mistress, Senzi."

"Not yet. But you want to be my lover, right? Why take so much pleasure in cock-teasing me at the park that evening?”

“I didn’t try to ‘cocktease you!’ I just wanted to give you a lesson about homophobia."

Raphael was stunned. Was that true? Had it all been a staging to teach him a lesson?

Leo burst out laughing and said, “If you saw your face. It’s worse than a kid’s, who’s just learned that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. I’m kidding, Senzi."

Raphael remained floored and said, “What? Fuck! Have you finished playing with my feelings?”

“Your feelings, Raphael? What feelings?"

The inflection of his first name, pronounced with that indefinable but ironic accent, made him lose his appearance of control. His hands moved feverishly over the motionless body in front of him.

“I like how you pronounce my name,” Raphael said. “But I’m sure you scream and moan it even better.”

Leo turned around again, ready to go out.

Raphael stopped him again and said, “Shit! You can’t leave me like this. A kiss at least!”

Leo smirked, his blue eyes shining in real amusement, and he said," Do you remember what happened in the park, Raphael? I told you how much more exciting it was hearing my partner begging. That was barely two weeks ago!”

“Shut up.”

Raphael smashed his lips against Leo’s; putting all the passion he could into it to silence the mocking voice. His body ignited with an uncontrollable desire and he began to frantically caress everything his hands could reach. Leo allowed him for a few minutes. Then he slowly moved away and looked at his partner seriously.

“I’m not a whore, Raphael. Using your credit card for an apparent but silent tribute isn’t how you can get me?”

“What do you want then?”

Raphael couldn't concentrate on Leo’s words and was only answering them automatically because he was so carried away by his desire. He wanted less talk and more action.

Leo glanced at him mysteriously, but full of promise, at least according to Raphael’s perception.

“You have to find out, Raphael.”

“I know what you want.  Stop playing with me."

Raphael’s kiss was even deeper and he began to undress the other boy while guiding him to the bed that was covered with a red duvet.

Leo lay down, but he wasn’t very receptive to the caresses and kisses, unlike Raphael, who began to unbuckle Leo’s belt.

"And your reputation, Senzi? Your friends are waiting for you. You’ve been locked up with me for more than twenty minutes. What will you say if we’re surprised?"

A knock sounded on Raphael’s door.

“Raph, what are you doing? We’re waiting to toast you, man!”

Raphael stopped, closed his eyes and tried to contain his anger so that he didn’t audibly convey his annoyance.

Leo didn't move and only stared at him with his impenetrable eyes.

"I'm coming, Case,” Raphael said. “Give me a moment."

Raphael looked at his future lover. Neither relief nor disappointment showed on his smooth face.

“Hey, Leo. This is only a postponement. They’ll leave soon. I promise. Nobody will bother us tonight."

His words of "consolation" didn’t seem to appease Leo.

“We’ll see. I didn’t plan on spending the night.”

“You won’t regret it. You’ll see. I’ll give you a good time!”

Raphael knew that his answer was stupid, but he didn't know what to say or do. Leo seemed shaky and restive and the unfamiliar behavior unsettled him. He tried to make him understand that Leo would be fine, but his sentimental vocabulary had always been somewhat limited.

“You talk like you’re the only one, who’s offered me sex. I have who I want. Why should I compromise myself with you?”

And Leo left.

An indignant Raphael went after him, but he ran into Casey, who’d stepped back to let Leo pass.

"Raph, you have to tell me what's going on,” Casey said. “You look furious. Why?”

"Later, Casey."

Raphael shoved his friend back and returned to the living room.

All of his attempts to get Leo had failed and now he had to watch April’s unmarried female friends hover around Leo.

Leo barely ate and accepted the Japanese beer, which he’d offered him, while he’d almost grumbled at Tony, who’d tried to take one.

Leo refused the fourth beer and said, “Give it to Tony. I never have more than three drinks and this party’s for him, isn’t it?”

Raphael suddenly understood the meaning of Leo’s earlier words.

Leo wanted a public admission.

Damn. He could then keep his little ass for himself, because there was no chance of him, Raphael Senzi, admitting wanting another guy in front of everyone. It was bad enough that Lisa and Casey knew about it. No sex was worth being disgraced and shunned by society.

“Yes. You’re right. It’s for Tony,” Raphael said coldly.

Leo must have understood, because he turned and stroked the nearest girl’s face and said, “Your skin’s as soft as a peach. I wonder if your lips taste like one.”

It was a cheap shot. Raphael wondered if he could do the same thing. He was lost. He didn't understand the motivations behind Leo's behavior and it wasn't like he could ask him for explanations in front of everyone. He’d sincerely believed that Leo was up for sex without complications, obligations or attachment. He didn't understand what he wanted, but he soon realized that one thing was clear. Leo could have all the girls he wanted.

Why would Leo compromise with Raphael? He remembered the question. He looked at the flowers again. He didn’t understand. What did Leo want? A declaration? But why? They’d both then be rejected by everyone! Leo should have been happy with the efforts and compromises he’d made!

But that didn’t seem to be the case, because Leo moved closer to the girl on his left and was now a hair’s breadth away from kissing her, clearly taking a sadistic pleasure in torturing Raphael.

Then Leo stepped backward and said, “Sorry. I can’t stand the smell of tobacco or people who’ve drunk too much. They often blame alcohol for their actions.”

The words were addressed to the girl, but it was Raphael, who quickly extinguished his cigarette and set down his sixth beer. He discreetly went to his bathroom to brush his teeth and to gargle, hoping that no one had seen him submit to Leo’s demand.

When he re-entered the living room, Raphael automatically searched for Leo, but he didn’t see him. He dared not ask Casey if he’d seen him. His friend already looked at him like he was insane.

"He's in the jacuzzi."

April's soft voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"What are you talking about, redhead? I’m not looking for anyone,” Raphael said.

April shook her head and said, “You can fool Casey, but not me. It’s cool. Raph, you can love who you want. It doesn’t matter.”

Raphael’s hair almost stood on end at the verb “love”.

“Hey, redhead. You’re delusional, okay? I don’t feel anything for Leo."

“Didn’t I guess that he was who you were looking for? You gaze at him nonstop, Raph. If you want to deceive others, try to control yourself more. It's evident!"

Dismayed, he continued denying and more fiercely than Peter after the crucifixion.

"If you say so, Raph, but he’s naked in the jacuzzi and with four single girls, who are also naked,” April said and shrugged.

She hadn’t finished his sentence and he was outside.

Like April had said, Leo was in the jacuzzi and surrounded by the girls. Like a kick in his gut, he saw that Leo’s blue boxers were neatly folded and on the edge of the jacuzzi. Raphael undressed without any hesitation and slipped into the steaming water. After all, he was at home and could do as he wished.

A girl, Sonia-he wasn’t sure if that was her name-tried to seduce him, but he remained uninterested and resisted her. He was too absorbed by the idea that Leo was naked under the bubbles.

It was only 11:30, so still early, but Raphael realized he didn’t have a shred of patience left. It had been a miracle that he’d remained relatively in control until then. He was going to tell everyone to leave when Leo looked up at the sky.

The snow, which had been falling in thin flakes, became more compact and the wind picked up, blowing more strongly and swirling the snowflakes on the steaming water and increasing in numbers. Raphael shuddered, but the water’s temperature seemed bearable.

Leo’s eyes went dark; he looked grim and said, “I have to go home.”

“What? Why?” Raphael asked.

Raphael didn’t care if his protesting about Leo leaving was over the top. He was fed up.

“There’ll be a snowstorm.”

“So what? You’re from Canada. Damn it! You must have seen much worse! Some snowflakes can’t scare you!”

Insensitive to his reasoning, Leo emerged from the water, but Raphael didn’t see his body due to the poor lighting of the Venetian lanterns.

Raphael immediately climbed out of the jacuzzi and grabbed Leo’s elbow, while he was putting on his boxers. “Shit! You can’t do this to me, Leo. You live less than a quarter of an hour from here. If driving in a storm bothers you, I promise I’ll drive you back myself afterward.”

Leo stared at him coldly and said, “No.”

The response had felt like he’d been hit with a whip and one that Raphael refused to accept.

Angry, he searched for something to hit, but having only Leo himself nearby, who was still dressing, he had to find another way of expressing his rage.

He stalked inside and bellowed, “Everyone, leave. The party’s over.”

Casey’s eyes widened, never having seen his friend so incensed before. Raphael Senzi had a short fuse. That was well known and everyone tried not to provoke him, but Casey didn’t remember ever seeing him that worked up.

Raphael said the first lie that sprang to his mind as an explanation. His father was due back. Everyone scurried. Giancarlo Senzi may have been more civilized than his son, but he was more feared.

As soon as Raphael saw Leo sneak into his room, he followed him, determined to have at least one damn explanation. He entered the room and closed the door, placing himself in front of it and refusing to let Leo out without a fucking good reason.

Leo sat on Raphael’s bed and was looking at his cell phone.

“What’s your fucking problem, Leo?” Raphael asked. “What did I do again?”

Leo was sending a text and didn’t look at him, but he did reply. “You did nothing wrong. It’s not you. It’s the snow.”

Leo's voice was thick with anguish and Raphael calmed down. It wasn't him. He didn't do anything wrong. There may still be hope. He asked more gently what Leo meant.

Leo sighed and said, “I was in Tokyo when I heard about my father’s death. He’d been here in New York on a business trip. There was a snowstorm that evening. I unconsciously associated that misfortune with the snow. My mother died in December during a snowstorm as well. I’m sure I’m going to lose Mikey on a stormy night too.”

Leo went silent. After a moment, Raphael realized that Leo was choking because he was holding his breath. Leo recovered and said, “Going out is difficult for me. I don’t like leaving Mikey alone. I leave him with either Donnie, his nurse or a teacher, who tutors him at home, all day. I find that very difficult. Mikey’s my responsibility and I'm afraid that if I don’t supervise him, I’ll miss his last breath. Donnie’s with him tonight, but I fought with Donnie to come here. He told me horrible things to guilt trip me, which I’ve thought about all evening.”

Raphael wanted to point out that Donny was just a dirty jealous son of a bitch, but it wasn’t the right time.

"I have an app on my cell for the weather. There must be no storm, otherwise, I won't go out. Everyone I love dies on a stormy night."

Hearing Leo talks about dead people for whom he’d cared, stirred Raphael.

“Hey, baby. It’s a superstition that your distressed mind’s created. Nothing will happen to Mikey tonight. I promise. I won't allow it. Look. It’s already dying down. But I can accompany if it’ll reassure you and…”

Leo smiled, his eyes bright with relief, and said, “Useless. Mikey answered me. Look.”

Leo showed Raphael the photo Mikey had sent to his cell phone.

Dressed in his pajamas, the kid smiled with sleepy eyes and had typed, “Have fun for me.”

“You shouldn’t disappoint the little one, Leo, right?” Raphael said. “And I don't think he has a better way of making you see the snow the in a better light."

Leo looked at him and said, “What do you mean?”

Raphael came closer, almost nose to nose with the other teen and said, “If you won a person, who loves you when a snowstorm’s occurring, it would be evener.”

Amusement shone in the blue eyes and Leo said, “You’ve drunk too much, Senzi. You’re almost romantic.”

"Take the fucking compliment and kiss me already, smartass."

Leo immediately closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to his.

Without really believing it, Raphael knocked him down on the bed. But Leo didn’t stop him. He undressed Leo, now able to ravish the perfect body that he hadn’t yet seen in its entirety.

He had Leo to himself for the night. He didn't know what tomorrow would bring. He was a man, who lived in the present. And now, he had the most delicious treat in front of him. And he was hungry.

Raphael Senzi was known to love sex. He had a physical vigor that fulfilled his girlfriends. He’d rarely had the opportunity, however, to have one at home at night. He blamed this on his desire for Leo's body, which he used several times before falling sleep. He was never tired of caressing the firm body and was insatiable with the new sensations he discovered. It was better than he’d imagined.

He didn't know what position he preferred between taking Leo from the front or back. Leo's face, which was flushed in pleasure, was a spectacle that inflamed his senses to the point of leading him alone to orgasm better than any porno movie. But he also liked doggy style when the dragon tattooed on Leo’s back shone in the candlelight and seemed alive. Something about the tattoo fascinated him.

And, like he’d imagined, Leo shouted and moaned his name loudly.

He noticed around 6:30 that he was no longer pressing his body against Leo’s and that the pillow next to him was empty. His senses alert, he heard a metallic sound of keys and footsteps. He opened the door of his room and ran. He was just in time to see a dressed Leo open the front door.

He firmly pulled Leo inside and said, “Where are you going, Leo? I’m not done with you."

Leo tried to protest, so Raphael, who didn't want his lover to leave immediately, offered the only thing that might interest the handsome black-haired man enough to stay. He offered himself. Being submissive wasn't something he’d thought about doing one day, but he’d seen Leo during the night and it had awakened something in him.

It had the desired effect and Leo allowed Raphael to undress him in the living room. Raphael wouldn’t let go of him for a second and was kissing him as if he were his oxygen tank. Leo dragged a more than consenting Raphael to the room.

The feeling of being open in two, the feeling of being filled to the point that it felt like a breaking point and the handsome face with the black hair soaked above his, whose concentrated expression enthralled him with his male beauty, rendered Raphael speechless.

It would be difficult to no longer experience similar emotions. Leo was much more addictive than he’d thought. He refrained from panicking and disconnected his conscience to let his body feel pleasure.

His orgasm was the most powerful of his life, and without even cleaning his sticky abdomen, he fell asleep, his lover collapsed under him.

Raphael slept well, feeling as blessed as he’d felt when he’d slept near his mother when he’d been a child. He opened his eyes and saw that it was 12:15. He wasn’t worried. He wanted to be nowhere else than here, however, he was hungry. He gently caressed his lover’s back to gently wake him up.

“Leo, are you hungry?”

Leo raised his head, stared at him sleepily and said, “Again? You’re so greedy.”

To his astonishment and delight, Leo had misunderstood his intentions and tenderly licked his cock to bring him back to life. Food could wait, Raphael thought, crossing his arms behind his head, taking advantage of the expert mouth that took his cock in. He thought that he really couldn't live without it. He had to find a way of Leo going back to secretly having sex with him.

Raphael suddenly froze.

"Mr. Senzi? Are you awake? It's your father!"

Raphael kicked his lover and choked in dread.

“Maria?” Raphael said. “I was sleeping. Is my dad back? Don’t enter!”

“No, Mr. Senzi. He’s on the phone. He called this morning and wants to urgently talk to you.”

Raphael sighed in relief and said, “Give me a minute. I’m dressing. What are you doing here, Maria?”

Without glancing at Leo, Raphael began to frantically search his drawers.

"Mr. Senzi, you asked us to be here at noon to clean up after your party.”

Raphael slapped a hand on his forehead. It was indeed true and meant that Johnny was also there. Passing Maria would be difficult, but Leo passing Johnny would be complicated.

“Leo! Get dressed and leave via the window,” Raphael said without looking at him.

Leo paused for a moment. Raphael opened his bedroom door so that the cleaning woman couldn't see inside and grabbed the phone from the maid's hands.

He spoke quickly to his father in Italian. Then, learning the reason for the call, he got his two revolvers from his drawer. He didn’t notice Leo watching him.

He jumped when he’d ended the call and Leo said, “Guns are dishonorable."

Raphael quickly said, “No. They aren’t when others also have them. They aren’t like your damn pressure point. What are you still doing here? Why aren’t you dressed?”

“My clothes are in the living room.”

“Shit! Take mine and leave via the window. I’m bulkier than you, but I can do it.”

“You don’t have a coat and it’s winter and my keys are also in the living room,” Leo said coolly.

“Damn it! I'll go get them."

Leo folded his arms and said sharply, “So this is how it works, Senzi?”

"Shit! You don't understand! They work for my father, and ... it's not your business!”

"I see."

"Hey! Don't play the victim! I gave as much as you with this. Shit. Where are my bullets?"

While Raphael looked in his drawer, Leo, who only wore his boxers, stood up and opened the bedroom door before Raphael could stop him.

Leo stoically put on his jeans in front of Johnny, who was collecting bottles, while a stressed out Raphael entered the living room.

“He’s my friend, Johnny,” Raphael said. “He drank too and couldn’t drive home.”

Leo’s disdainful demeanor as he put on his coat showed what he thought about Raphael’s justification, but he said nothing.

Before Leo left, Raphael whispered ashamedly, “Call me later. I’ll explain.”

Leo pulled away without looking at him and feeling annihilated, Raphael turned to his father's friend to continue his fake cover story.

“This boy can’t come back here, Mr. Raphael,” Johnny said.

“Johnny, I told you why he was here. It’s not what you think!”

The Sicilian’s finally looked at him and said, “I’m not talking about that. Did you see his tattoo? He’s a Yakuza leader and enemy of our clan. Your father killed the last leader ten years ago. He had an identical tattoo, but they’ve returned. Your father discussed it in Naples and said that we have to annihilate them.”

“That’s bullshit, Johnny. You’re wrong. I know the guy. You don’t. The tattoo’s only randomly chosen. Dragons are cool. He chose a dragon. End of story. Leo’s not the type to be associated with organized crime and he’s not even one hundred percent Japanese. The Yakuza wouldn’t have a leader, who isn’t entirely Japanese and Leo hardly ever goes out. He takes care of his sick little brother or he trains with his katanas. He seems to despise violence and…”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Raphael. You’re only your father’s arm for settling accounts. You know nothing about our enemies. You blindly shoot at what you’re told to shoot and you believe you’re irreplaceable.”

The face of the old Sicilian showed a contempt that Raphael didn't think he felt towards him. But, apparently, he wasn't good at reading people. The man continued, since Raphael, impassive, no longer interrupted him. Raphael knew he wouldn't like what he was going to say, but he wanted to be convinced that his father's friend was wrong.

“Raphael, our enemies don’t necessarily rely on blood to determine their leader and we should maybe do the same thing. There are five great families and the best of them is the leader until his death. When all the heirs of these families are at least eighteen-years-old, a tournament is organized. Other criteria are taken into consideration, such as morality, intelligence, etc. The winner is tattooed to signify his rank and declared the future leader. It’s impossible that the guy who left here ignores that. Did you see the way he walked with his head up? It’s also impossible for the tattoo to be a coincidence. Your father keeps the back skin of the one he killed, little Michelito, in his museum of personal horrors. It’s the same dragon. That son of a bitch must be the son of that chief. His father’s dead, right?”

The Mafioso let a moment pass so that the argument entered Raphael’s mind and waited to see if he’d refute or object. Raphael did indeed realize and hear the argument. It was perhaps possible, but that didn’t mean that Leo had purposely slept with him.

Encouraged by his silence the Sicilian said, “If he knows your identity, he only wants to gain your trust and to seduce you. Then he’ll behead you. This is done merely to humiliate your father and to shame and discredit our entire family. Because you know that when your father knows that you threw a lavish party in honor of the little Yakuza whore and allowed him into your bed, he’ll kill you. It doesn’t matter whether you’re his son or not. You should remember what happened to your mother, but don’t worry. We’ll get that fag Jap before…”

The detonation slammed like a whip, the two bullets of the two crossed revolvers simultaneously reaching their two victims, Raphael having not needed to turn around to know that the cleaning lady was there to listen.

Strangely, when he noticed that Johnny, who’d bounced him on his lap when he was a kid, was dead, his blood quickly pooling around him on the cold marble, like red wine on a white tablecloth, he felt no panic. Likewise, he felt no remorse at having killed a woman, who seemed innocent by appearances. But he’d always suspected her of having denounced his mother.

He methodically wrapped the bodies in the crimson carpet in the dining room. He’d killed too many people and covered up too many murders to be caught off guard. He’d been helping his father for almost four years with his dirty work.  Surprisingly, his ability to kill without real emotion and hesitation filled his father with pride. That was why the "cleaning" was always entrusted to him and also why he’d quickly risen in rank. He was silent, fast and their clan’s best shooter. He didn’t ask questions and didn’t have regrets. He followed orders. That’s it. But this noon, while he was wiping the blood, he briefly thought about what had made him squeeze the trigger.

The insult of "fag" that could apply to him?

The stained memory of his mother?

The threat to Leo?

Raphael realized that it was indeed the last option that had led him to liquidate two members of his clan. But it was also the doubt that Johnny had instilled in him.

Was Leo playing a double game with him from the beginning? No. That was impossible. He’d have merely slaughtered him in the park if he was.

He realized how much Johnny's accusation against his lover was hurting him and much worse than the idea of cleaning up the bloodied bodies and brains of two people he’d known his entire life. Leo’s hypothetical betrayal filled his chest with a kind of acrid poison. He didn't want to dwell on that possibility too much, wanting to keep a cool head to finish cleaning up the murder scene and to ensure he did a good job of it.

He tried to think about more positive and constructive things, like how soft Leo’s skim and his lips were and how fresh his breath was. He remembered the passionate night they’d spent together. He’d have loved to have spent the rest of the weekend cloistered with his lover under the covers and caressing his body and listening to all of the erotic sounds he made. He hadn't had time to thoroughly enjoy all the possibilities and all the joys of having the body of a sincerely beloved person against his own.

Leo was the enemy, but that wasn’t a good enough reason to forbid the true and deep love he felt for him. Because he could admit it. He didn’t want Leo just for a short time. The boy had managed to stir some feelings he’d thought had been buried with his mother.

The desire to accomplish wonders for love. He winced briefly in disgust: He’d become both pathetic and sentimental. But he needed much more than big romantic statements to get out of this mess.

He first had to get rid of the bodies.

Then go to the appointment for his father’s “business.” He would then probably have to change again. People thought he only wore black and red for personal taste. How naïve they were!

Then he had to think of a way of protecting Leo by keeping him a secret so that his clan didn’t go looking for him. For the moment, no one seemed to know about his presence in the city, but he could only be sure that evening. Similarly, Leo had to avoid knowing too much about his father, because from what he’d understood, as twisted as it was, his father had killed Leo’s. And Leo seemed to cherish his memories of the deceased, just like his mother still had a special place in his heart. And if he wanted to conquer Leo it wasn't a good way of accumulating points in his favor. He had all day to think about a plan. If everything went well that evening, like he hoped, protecting Leo as much from the truth as physically would be facilitated. But he would have a very hard weekend and extremely troublesome months ahead of him.

Raphael sighed. No. What would be the most difficult would be getting Leo to forgive him for throwing him out earlier that day. Being near all of his new captains tonight and knowing that he’d betray them, would be much easier than facing the polar blue eyes of the boy he loved.


	7. The Arena

Killing people at 3 p.m. on a sunny Saturday wasn't a habit of Raphael’s, but his father had ordered him to and he was already in enough shit, so he didn’t oppose it.

He didn't have time for the bullshit. He liquidated every one in ten minutes.

His father had demanded a call after he’d accomplished his mission. From what he’d vaguely understood, his father didn't expect Raphael succeeding and so his new rank was confirmed. His father had sent him on a suicide mission to determine whether or not he deserved the place he was preparing for him. The carelessness his father had shown him left Raphael cold. His considerations no longer mattered to him. He had to stay alive, free and strong for Leo and the rest was just trifle.

Raphael had inherited his father’s place and his father had inherited Uncle Marcello’s. He finally had all of the powers. He’d rule their family, who ruled the underworld of New York with Johnny’s help.  There was no need to tell his father that a deceased Jonny could no longer carry out his wishes. It had happened twenty days prior and the relative omnipotence would have mattered little, but now he knew that every day at the top of the pyramid extended Leo’s life. That was enough motivation for him to stay there.

He met his new captains, who after quick introductions, revealed their concern to him.

The Yakuza had returned.  The Tokyo chief would shortly send his heir to New York so that his servants would swear allegiance to him. The Senzi clan had to oppose it. They talked about the tattoo that was to denounce him. Michelito took out his relic. Raphael silently regarded it, his heart pounding at seeing the evidence of the tattooed piece of skin. It was the skin of the back of someone, meaning Leo’s father. Raphael took a photo and to everyone’s astonishment, he explained that the photo needed to serve as a reference point for everyone and he’d send a copy of it to each of their family members. His captains silently approved.

Raphael had gracefully lent himself to the blood ceremony and all that followed, but when he heard his clan’s plans against Leo’s, he voiced his disagreement.

“Immediately attacking the Yakuza isn’t wise,” Raphael said firmly. “We have to hit their base in order to weaken them. The Purple Dragons have worked for them forever. They’re small fry, but putting them out of harm’s way will weaken the Yakuza, without immediately exposing us.”

The captains looked at him attentively and Raphael felt that he was on the right track. Sure of himself, he said, “An immediate confrontation without knowing the enemy seems untimely."

The captains nodded. They obviously hadn’t expected so much wisdom and caution from an 18-year-old. They seemed satisfied, despite their inquiries about the absence of the old Sicilian, who always accompanied Giancarlo Senzi to meetings. Raphael had shrugged at the remark. He had had enough to do that day and his loyalty couldn't be doubted. Everyone had shut-up about it.

Drinking wasn't primarily a tradition, but the captains wanted to toast their new leader. He good-naturedly drank his umpteenth flambéed sambuca shooter. He was thankful they didn’t know his plans, because, one after the other, he was going to eliminate them.

That was the plan. Killing a member of his clan and a Yakuza every evening.

It was simply called settling accounts on the outside. In reality, every eliminated Sicilian was one less enemy to Leo and every murdered Yakuza protected his cover. Likewise, he didn't want a crime army in the service of his lover. He wanted his Leo with pure hands. Because he was almost certain his beloved was ignorant about the shenanigans. The deaths of the Yakuza would inevitably reduce the risk of Leo knowing about the reality and not following that path.

In the same way, killing criminals was a kind of redemption for Raphael. It was like washing away all of his previous crimes and almost appearing innocent in front of his lover. But the road ahead would be hard. He didn’t know how many people stood in front of his path or even where he’d precisely stop.

"When Leo’s safe,” he whispered.

Those words alone meant a whole hecatomb on one side or the other.

Anyway, he had to kill a Japanese and quickly. He needed a corpse that was at least semi-Asian in the coming days. He knew a tattoo artist that could easily be bullied to bring him a body on which a dragon would be tattooed. It was simple. It was the only reason for the photo. A model. Thus, he could claim the leader had died and he’d calm down his clan.

Raphael had never faced Asian gang members before, but he guessed that he had to have other tricks up his sleeve. Expedited martial art courses were relevant and he had a Sensei in mind. If only the fucker would answer him.

Raphael looked at his phone with a mixture of sadness and annoyance. He’d sent over ten messages, each one becoming more desperate, to Leo, explaining how sorry he was and how much he wanted a chance to prove himself. He suggested a rendezvous for breakfast in a restaurant facing the park the next morning. And they could go for a walk afterward.

He’d never suggested such an innocent and close to being romantic rendezvous with his girlfriends before.

His heart pounded, as he stared at his phone’s screen. He just wanted an answer.

But one never came.

Sunday morning, 7:00 P.M.

Raphael Senzi, who’d never been a morning person, was staring at his croissant and black coffee. He could have postponed it until later. But the need to see his lover was too great.

Sunday morning, 7 hours 5 and Leo hadn’t answered any text.

Raphael had run after a night and a horrible morning, without taking the time to change. He’d driven to the rendezvous, fearing he’d miss Leo. He remembered the time in the park, where for all other reasons, he was eager to see the magnificent male with ebony hair. He had no idea how his motives had changed so radically in such a short time.

There was still no answer at 7:10.

Raphael bit his lip. Leo was coming, right? Damn! He only had that name in his mouth! The guy had arrived like an epidemic of the bubonic plague on his life, causing each of his landmarks to collapse. Raphael couldn’t take it anymore. His head was hurting him.

At 7:40, Raphael re-read the messages he’d sent to Leo for the umpteenth time.

The bloodstains must still be visible on his shirt, as well as his reddened eyes and his nascent beard. He should have taken the time to doll up. His longish hair, tied in a neglected chignon, looked like nothing. He looked washed out and when he looked in the restaurant’s window, he saw a tired and frightful looking person. But he was still there because he had a desperate need to touch his lover.

Leo’s lack of response grew more unbearable at 8:17.

Raphael was unable to swallow anything and the pastry on his plate was still intact, his stomach being tied in knots with anxiety. The game he’d started was too dangerous for him to receive at least a hint of hope or encouragement from Leo to have the strength to pursue him. For the survival of them both.

Their future.

Raphael glanced at the time again. The waitress had asked for the sixth time if he wanted to pay his bill of $5.80.

It was now 9:45.

Leo wouldn't come. The last three text messages he’d sent him since his arrival had also gone unanswered. He’d even tried calling Leo, but had hung up when he’d gotten voice mail.

Raphael’s feverish spirit sought answers, excuses, wanting to silence his ego that rebelled against the gloomy indifference. He’d never begged so hard before and gone to such effort. And above all, he’d never risked his life for one of his previous chicks before. It was a fucking irony that the one he cared about was deliberately ignoring him!

He couldn't wait until Monday. Anyway, he and his father agreed about one thing for once, which was that school was no longer a priority for him. An assassin of his caliber had nothing to do with algebra. Leading the clan was more important and Raphael knew that knowing who the 19th President of the United States was useless, yet he wanted to see Leo again. He had to see Leo again.

Then Raphael remembered where the handsome young man spent his Sunday afternoons.

Raphael was half dead from fatigue and anxiety, but he’d come to the arena after snorting some cocaine to comfort himself. He knew that was a bad idea, but he couldn’t handle the stress. He’d keep his sunglasses on. He’d changed though and had opted for a gray woolen Ralph Lauren sweater that Lisa had bought him for a Christmas gift on the pretext that it would bring out his natural tan complexion. He’d never worn it, of course, even to please his girlfriend. But Raphael had a source of motivation now. Leo was always impeccably dressed but had a much more classic style than his own. He wanted to please Leo. Anyway, the sweater would keep him warm and with no intention of killing anyone in the next twelve hours, he could afford to wear pale clothes.

He was both anxious and excited when he saw Leo’s gray Lexus in the parking lot. Leo was within his reach. The fact still remained though that he’d deliberately ignored Raphael’s messages.

But Raphael had decided to stay positive; otherwise, he’d lose his mind. He didn’t know how he’d be received and he didn’t want a public scandal.  So he only entered the arena fifteen minutes after the game had started and ensured that he was still a bit anonymous so that he could regain control of his nerves.

He’d never come to see Casey play hockey and he hoped his arrival wouldn’t make his friend ask too many questions. He stayed for a moment at the door of the rink. Then after glancing stealthily and discreetly, he headed into the center’s stands. He didn’t want to look fanatical by being forward with other players’ family members or by spying on Leo in the back. The seventh row was perfect.

He realized that second half had just begun and that Casey’s team were already leading by three points.

He briefly removed his sunglasses, since no one could his bloodshot eyes and dilated pupils from this distance. It was very bright and his eyes were sensitive to the light, but he was able to quickly spot his lover without even needing to read his name on the back of his shirt.

Despite the equipment, Leo's athletic legs and slender figure were easily recognizable, as well as his majestic stance. His movements were fluid, but precise and fast, and with his heart filled with pride, Raphael listened to the crowd proclaiming his beloved’s name, as he scored the first goal of that period. People around him commented that it was Leo’s third that day.

He eagerly watched the rest of the second half and sprang to his feet, cheering when Leo scored his second just before the whistle signaled that the second half was over. Leo approached the stand and removed his helmet, revealing his sweat-soaked black hair. Someone handed him a towel and a bottle of water, which he gratefully accepted.

Admiring his lover’s beauty, his cheeks reddened by the snow and the exercise, Raphael watched Leo stretch his graceful neck to drink. Raphael even though he saw a purple mark on the soft flesh that he’d kissed during their lovemaking. Raged filled him and he thanked the heavens for sitting alone in his row, where no one could witness his emotions at the memory.

He suddenly came out of his trance when Leo kissed the person, who’d given him the now empty bottle. Elena had accompanied Leo. Jealousy overwhelmed Raphael.  Perhaps she’d been in bed with Leo that morning, while he’d waited for Leo at the restaurant like a dumbass.

He almost got up and left, not wanting to witness the affectionate demonstrations between his ex-girlfriend and his new passion. Dark thoughts poisoned his mind that had been determined to think good thoughts, as the third half began. He scowled and thought, that while he’d been killing the collector, Michelito, and burning the dragon decorated relic for him, Leo might have fucked Elena.

He wondered about subjecting Elena to what Michelito had endured.  It would be a swift and painless death that could easily be hidden by saying that it had been an attempted rape gone wrong. He’d then have no more competition to fear. The thought that he’d almost loved her didn’t affect him in the slightest.  What convinced him not to do that was the thought of Leo learning it one day and hating him. He could always kill mobsters to protect his love. But eliminating a rival wasn’t as honorable.

He had to find a less drastic solution to getting rid of the beautiful Italian. His eyes instinctively returned to the rink. Leo seemed to be one with the ice and scored two more goals, but Raphael didn’t stand up again because he was preoccupied with his thoughts and was gloomy. He understood that Leo had been angry at being evicted from his home the previous evening. He once again sought an apology from his lover. He’d talked to him about love on Friday night, had had sex with him and had kicked him out the next morning, almost denying him. Yes. Leo could legitimately blame him and think himself free from all lies. He only had to explain that he’d panicked. Saying the real reasons behind the “panic” was out of the question though. Leo couldn’t know that Raphael’s father was a homophobic organized crime leader, who’d been responsible for the murder of Leo’s father.

Raphael hadn't really thought about what would happen next.  It was impossible being in public with Leo in any other way than friendly. The rumors would then spread to his father and they’d be covered in cement and thrown into the river. The only avenue was, therefore, a secret passion that they could fulfill once or twice weekly in secret. For appearance’s sake’s, Raphael would surely be obliged to have a girlfriend and to get married, but he’d remain loyal to Leo and apart from his cover, would remain faithful to him. He couldn’t calmly conceive the idea of Leo with a girl though, even if it was just for show. Jealousy consumed him at the idea.

The whistle blew, signaling the end of the game, and it pulled Raphael from his thoughts. He watched the players congratulating themselves, hovering around Leo and congratulating him on his sporting prowess before they headed to the locker room.

Raphael was wondering whether he should make his presence known or not when an exclamation startled him.

“But it’s Raph!” Casey exclaimed. “What are you doing here, buddy? After a decade, you’ve finally come to see me play? Get down from there. I want to know what you thought about the match! Wow. You’re all dolled up! Did you come from church or from your grandmother’s place, Raph?”

Leo must have been glaring upon hearing this, but he refused to turn his head in Raphael’s direction and continued walking to the exit. Embarrassed at being discovered that way, his clothes called church clothes, and at having to explain his sudden desire to attend a match to Casey, Raphael climbed down from the stands. Casey casually led him by the shoulders to the locker room, while asking his opinion of the game. Raphael briefly answered, while blushing, and while the players, who were mostly unknown to him and who were, therefore, a bit embarrassed, undressed.

As if Raphael’s torment wasn’t enough, his lover was changing at the same pace as Casey, who took the opportunity to praise Leo. “Did you see Leo?  He’s a god on skates!” Casey said admiringly.

Raphael mumbled, “Yeah. I remember he wasn’t bad.” He wasn’t listening to Casey, too entranced by the tattooed animal and its blue tails that marked the hollow of Leo’s loins. Raphael remembered tracing it with his tongue before he buried it deep into Leo. He seemed to still have the addictive taste of the flesh in his mouth.

“Shit, Raph. Take off those dark glasses. It almost looks like you’re wearing them to stalk Leo or me.”

"No. I just have pink eyes," Raphael stammered.

Casey looked at him skeptically, folding his arms. He wasn’t a genius, but he knew what he was hiding with the code word.

“Da fuck, Man?  I thought you were better.” He sighed and said, “Is it about your father again? Did he return home from Naples mad at you?”

Hearing the name, Leo, who’d been about to shower, stopped for a moment while he was about to shower. Or at least that's what it looked like to Raphael.

“No. He’s still away,” Raphael said.

“But you said on Friday that…”

"Case, “Raphael snapped. “Mind your business!"

Raphael was silent for a moment while glancing at Leo, who was moving away, before continuing, “Listen, Casey. I don’t have to justify myself. I was tired, okay? You don't have to whine. It was a sweet party, right?"

“Yeah.  But you know I’m your friend. What’s going on, man? You’re edgier than usual. Maybe you should stop…”

Raphael vigorously shook his head, his sunglasses threatening to slip down his nose. He pinched the bridge between his eyes and sighed. “I’m tired and stressed. Nothing else. Everything’s under control.”

Casey was silent for a moment, digesting his comment. Then he seemed to accept that explanation. “Well, thank you for coming to see me, man.”

Raph hesitated. He didn't want to leave yet. Not without having spoken to Leo. He needed to at least confess some of his feelings to know those of his lover in return. What did it mean for Leo tonight? He remembered with delight these moments and the passionate words of the young man that had been interspersed with appreciative sighs and groans.

Raphael had had a lot of sex in his life, having had many partners. Leo’s tender gestures, his burning eyes and the escaped words of adoration couldn't be the result of a lover led only by a desire for physical gratification. Leo must have been feeling something. And he had to know what now before he went mad.

He’d killed three people from his clan for his safeguard in less than twenty-four hours. Raphael had to know that the stress and the danger weren’t in vain, but staying there would have made Casey realize that he wasn’t there for him. He couldn’t afford to be asked more questions.

A naked Casey headed to the showers and Raphael had an idea.

“Hey, Case. Need me to drop you at home? I can wait! You can grab lunch too if you want. I haven’t eaten yet.”

“Awesome.  Leo brought me, but now that his girlfriend’s here, he’ll probably want to be alone with her. I’ll be back in five minutes.”

A more corrosive fluid than acid flowed through Raphael’s veins, but he managed a small smile at his friend, who disappeared into the showers. He tried to act casual, despite the anxiety gnawing him, while he waited for Leo’s return.

Leo and Casey returned at the same time, towels wrapped around their waists. It prevented Raphael from privately talking with his lover. While Casey chatted away, not seeming to notice that Raphael was only answering him in monosyllables, Leo looked to be in no hurry to get dressed and dressed at Casey’s pace. Raphael understood. Suspecting that Raphael wouldn’t confront him with his best friend there and be wanting to avoid them being alone together, Leo wanted to leave at the same time as Casey.

Raphael was so close to Leo that he could see the water drops dripping down his neck and glistening on his skin. The drops then dripped down the dragon’s scales. Raphael wanted to grab the handsome guy from behind and lick the water from his neck and shoulders.

From close up, he could still see the slight marks of their lovemaking. Noticing the bruises on the biceps, he suspected how they’d happened. He’d made them when Leo had penetrated him. He blushed, excited at the memory. No girl could have enough strength to mark her lover so. He seemed to see his finger marks. In the same way, bite marks were still visible on the handsome hockey player’s collarbone. Raphael smiled. The bruises pleased him. They were his handiwork and reminded him of their night of love.

"Raph, please take off your glasses. We don't care if you're high or not. You have a creepy voyeur face with them.”

Raphael exasperatedly removed his sunglasses. Anyway, it was now almost two hours since he’d snorted the drug and his eyes weren’t sensitive to the light anymore.

“Happy?” he growled.

“Yeah,” Casey said with a shrug. “The guys and I are going to Leo’s house in two hours’ time to watch the football final. It’s guys only. Do you want to come?

Raphael paled. Admittedly, the idea of being with his lover all night long without Elena was tempting, but he feared that Leo would oppose Casey’s invitation. Being rejected would hurt Raphael so much. Worried, he waited to see if Leo would object. When he saw that Leo, who, without looking at Raphael, was putting on his royal blue Lacoste polo and covering the haunting tattoo and understood that he couldn’t ask for a more positive response, Raphael nodded.

"Yeah. That would be great," Raphael said.

"Cool. I’ll follow you. Leo, Raph and I are having a snack. Then we’ll go home, right?"

Blue eyes stared at Casey only, seeming to ignore Raphael next to him.

"Yes."

That was all, but that ‘yes’ sounded like the most exquisite melody to Raphael's ears, who, walking in concert with the other two boys, came out of the locker room, feeling like he was on a cloud. He was shocked when he saw Elena outside. He’d forgotten about her and he watched her launch herself at Leo and passionately kiss him.

Elena broke the kiss and said, "See you tomorrow, darling. I’ll send a photo, as soon as I find the right dress, okay? You’ll tell me what you think!"

Leo kissed her deeply, silencing the girl draped around his neck.

Raphael was barely aware that Casey was pulling him by the sleeve and was talking to him. He just stared at the couple saying goodbye.

And, as Leo continued kissing Elena, Raphael felt like he was being stabbed in the heart.

 

                                                                                                                                              


	8. The cake

"Raph, you have to stop. You’re making yourself look ridiculous by doing that!"

Raphael turned to Casey and noticed that he was gripping the steering wheel and still staring at the place, where the couple had been standing a few moments earlier.

He then shifted his gaze to his friend and turned the keys in the ignition.

"What are you talking about, Casey?" he asked, in a false nonchalance.

“I’m talking about Leo and Elena. Your jealousy’s obvious, man.”

Raphael stared at him in dismay. Casey knew and wasn't more shocked than that? The other boy continued, “You have to accept it, Raph. Elena’s not your girlfriend anymore. You ditched her. You couldn’t expect her to stay single for the rest of her life."

Raphael sighed in relief, realizing that Casey was mistaken about the object of his jealousy. He didn't know if he had to refute what his friend had said or not. In the end, he chose to say nothing and remained silent.

They stopped at a tavern, where an unhappy Raphael still found the strength to eat two hamburgers and some fries to appear normal, but that wasn’t enough to completely deceive Casey.

"Man, I'm here if you need to talk. We’re friends. I know we're more used to getting drunk and laughing together, but I'm ready to support you no matter what you're going through."

Raph cut him off and said, “Thanks, but I’m fine.” Casey sighed and called him stubborn. The muscular young man undid his bun, anxious to have it in front of his eyes and to hold his hands, which had finished shredding the paper napkin.

“What time do we go to Leo’s house?” Raphael asked carelessly.

“At four p.m.,” Casey said scornfully. It’s three. Do you want to play a game of billiards, while we wait?"

“No. Let’s go now. We have over a quarter of an hour with traffic and then we can stop to get the beer or something to take or even something to snack on. We can't arrive empty-handed.”

Casey narrowed his eyes, suspicious. It wasn't in Raphael's habit to arrive earlier than expected or to worry about being empty-handed. Indeed, arriving with beer wasn’t unusual, but the snack part when Raphael had barely touched his meal was.

Casey, however, didn’t immediately say anything. It was when Raph, who’d been a big smoker since he was eleven-years-old, refused a cigarette and reminded him that Leo disliked the smell of tobacco and that it was rude to arrive at his house smelling of smoke, that Casey reacted.

“Do you have an inferiority complex with Hamato or something, Raph? It seems like you’re always concerned about him. It's not your style to worry so much about what others think and it’s not how you usually deal with issues with another guy."

"Drop it, Case.  I have no problem with Hamato, okay?" Raphael snapped irritably.

“If you say, so dude.”

Casey looked dubious, but also slightly irritated. The mystery was seriously beginning to bug him. But he tried to control his impatience for his best friend.

"You can go home and get some alcohol unless your Johnny’s there."

Raphael remained stoic when he heard the name. No. Johnny wouldn’t buy his alcohol anymore. Well, he still had his fake ID. He wasn’t even anxious about his friend’s presence at the scene of a recent murder when he arrived home. He was a professional after all. Nothing remained of the buffet because Raphael had thrown everything out, apart from an unopened pasta salad, which was sufficient for fifteen people. Casey suggested that he bring it with him to Leo’s place as an accompaniment to the pizza they’d surely order.

Raphael knew a European deli that baked wonderful pastries next to Leo’s place, but he hesitated about going there for a long time. His lover had mentioned that he loved sweet things, but bringing such a refined dessert to a football evening with friends would surely send off alarm bells in Casey’s head. Well, even if he was close to the truth. Casey would quickly do the math if he wasn’t more careful.

Disappointed, Raphael brought nothing, despite his desire to surprise his lover of one night with sweets. He could take another day and spread chocolate on his dick for his lover to lick. He shivered with anticipatory pleasure. His night with Leo had been too short, leaving him with an insatiable desire of his flesh. The young man with the black hair, who was scalded, would probably not fall into his arms that evening, but Raphael vowed not to leave his apartment without having at least physical contact.

They arrived at Leo’s apartment and with butterflies in his stomach, Raphael pressed the buzzer.

It was Mikey's young voice that said, “Hello!"

"Well, hello Mikey. It’s Raph. You know the guy, who..."

"Come in!"

His heart pounding, Raphael went up with Casey. He didn't remember being so nervous, even on the previous Friday when’d been waiting for the young man to come to his party.

The little blond opened the door, all smiles, and to his surprise, eagerly hugged him.

"I'm so happy to see you. Leo kills me with his food! He tried to make me a chocolate cake for my birthday this morning. It was awful!"

Embarrassed, Raphael looked up at Mikey's older brother. The azure gaze was cold. Raphael tried to stay cool. Leo's attitude was predictable and he also had a logical explanation for his refusal to the rendezvous.

Embarrassed by the dichotomy between the receptions of the two brothers, Raphael said in the most detached tone he could manage, “Yeah.  I know. It must be terrible. Well, I have brought some pasta salad. There are plenty of fresh vegetables in it, Parma ham and cheese. It’ll do you some good. I didn't know it was your birthday. Too bad. I almost bought pastries for your brother and ..."

He blushed, but no one noticed what had escaped him. The blond kid pulled him by the sleeve.

"Come! You must see Leo's cake! You’re going to laugh. The worst thing is that he made it twice! The first was even more of a flop."

Raphael was brought before the culinary masterpiece of his beloved against his will. He’d never seen anything so unappetizing. Even the letters spelling out the celebrant's first name were awkwardly affixed. Frankly, he wanted to laugh at it, but he guessed that Leo must be sufficiently hurt and humiliated, especially with Casey laughing, as he elbowed the poor cook. He, therefore, chose to admonish the little boy.

"Mikey, I’m sure Leo put a lot of effort and loves into it. I’d be happy to eat if he made it for me.”

"If you say so, Raph,” Mikey said, shrugging his shoulders, "I hope Leo will find someone, who will cook for him."

Raphael glanced at his lover, hoping Leo would be pleased by the comment and would smile, knowing that Raphael would appreciate his cooking.

But, Leo was in a bad mood and threw the cake into the garbage without a word. Raphael’s heart sank. The eldest’s love and devotion to his younger brother were evident. Seeing him paid for it by quips, saddened him, even if they were meant in jest and weren’t meant to be offensive.

Casey cautiously changed the subject and said, as he glanced around, “Where are the guys?”

"Mark, Luke, and Shawn haven’t come,” Leo said coldly. “They’ll watch the match at a pub with other friends. Brandon’s been forced to attend a wedding anniversary dinner of his girlfriend's family. I don't remember the excuses for the other two. Only you and I remain. I'm afraid the atmosphere isn’t very exciting here. Perhaps you’d also be better off watching the game at a more festive place.”

The blue eyes were filled with sad anger. The protocol would have required Raphael and Casey to leave and to let Leo privately handle what tormented him. But Raphael placed his hand on Leo’s shoulder and said that they wouldn’t leave him all alone and it was better if the others weren’t there because it meant there’d be more food and alcohol for them.

Leo’s eyes blazed with outrage, making him quickly remove his hand as if he’d come into contact with liquid hydrogen.

Casey said, “Yeah. It’d be nasty leaving you alone, right? And Raph’s been so excited to come over. You can’t disappoint him! He even refrained from smoking all afternoon."

The pat on his back by his friend drew a forced grin from Raphael. His lover obviously didn't want to see him. He’d expected that, but he’d hoped to find less resistance. Mikey, seeing his morose brother, tried to make him smile and wanting to be forgiven, cuddled him.

"I’m sorry for poking fun at your cake, Leo,” Mikey said. “You’ll do a better job next time. Ask your friend to show you how.”

Leo’s thin smile struck Raphael and he understood with horror what was going on in his lover's mind.

It may have been the boy's last birthday.

"Good idea, Mikey,” Raphael said. “Your brother and I are going to bake your cake right now, all right? There’s no time like the present, is there, Leo? Casey, be a buddy and go to the living room with the little one to watch cartoons."

Raphael didn't listen to the answer and gave no one a choice. He washed his hands, feeling Leo’s withering gaze on him. He resisted the temptation to turn around and to take the boy he loved in his arms. He wiped his hands. Then he opened the fridge to get out the eggs.

Without looking at Leo, he ordered, “Get me flour, sugar, oil and vanilla essence.”

"It's useless, Senzi."

Raphael turned around; looking perplexed, and said, "Shit! I'm helping you, so you can’t mess this one up.”

"I’m not talking about the cake."

Raphael looked Leo straight in the eyes and tried to stay neutral. Showing him that his stomach was tightened in knots would do more harm than good. He said as calmly, as he could, “Keep going.”

"Winning my brother's affection won't make me bend over."

Raphael frowned. It wasn't his little brother he wanted to please, but the young man himself. Besides, he wasn't looking for only a quick fuck. He didn't care if he only had sex in spring if that meant Leo forgave him. A tender word and a kiss here and there wouldn’t be a refusal. He tried to clarify the fact. “I just want to be nice, Leo. I know I was horrible, but what happened that day….”

“I just want to be nice. I know I was horrible, but what happened that day ..."

"It was only consensual sex, born from an unhealthy curiosity on both sides. End of the story. There won’t be other occasions.”

Raphael dropped his spoon and said, “Fuck you! It wasn’t just curiosity or sex. At least not for me. I think about it all the time and…”

"Really?" Leo said skeptically. "It doesn't matter because I only have regrets. And I have someone."

The cold answer pierced Raphael’s heart like a knife. He nervously untied his hair, wanting to conceal his eyes that threatened to fill with tears and the pained expression on his face. He didn't know how, but he managed to finish making the cake batter that he poured into the mold, a huge lump in his throat.

"Is the oven ready?” Raphael asked. “Please open it.”

Surprised, Leo opened the oven door, while continuing to study the other young man.

"Why are you looking at me like that?” Raphael asked gruffly.

"Was ... Did you really make a cake? I mean, one that Mikey can eat?" Leo asked in amazement.

Surprised by the question, but having no heart to laugh, Raphael cleaned his work surface, refusing to look at Leo.

" Of course. And you saw that I didn’t spit in it."

"I mean ... Wow," Leo said, struggling to find the words. "I didn't think you'd finish it. Not after what I told you. "

"It's not really for you. More for the kid. I almost think your cousin; M Sunny’s friendlier than you right now.”

A silence followed these words. Raphael; hadn’t intended to answer so dryly. He continued in a gentler tone, “I know what you thought earlier. You didn’t want to miss this birthday.

Leo's eyes immediately filled with tears and he said, “Yes.”

The silence recommended, as Raphael adjusted the oven timer. Suddenly, a vibration sounded and Leo immediately looked at his cell phone. He quickly checked to see if he’d received any messages and set about answering them. Raphael bitterly thought about his messages that Leo had ignored and Elena had clearly sent him a picture of her dress. Then, seeing Leo’s fingers furiously tapping the keyboard, he had doubts.  Raphael allowed almost ten minutes to elapse and saw Leo’s sublime features growing more and more troubled.

Leo was extremely ashen and his face was a mixture of annoyance and anxiety. Concerned, Raphael asked, “What’s going on?”

“The person, who looks after Mikey during the day won’t come back. I have to quickly find someone else. The problem is that in addition to my classes tomorrow, I have a hospital appointment for a report about Mikey’s conditions and the remaining options I have. I can’t leave my brother alone all day. We have an English test tomorrow and I have one in the afternoon too. But I can surely manage to postpone them. I have to immediately find someone else and…

An idea hit Raphael and he said, “Nah. Go to class. I’ll stay with your brother."

Leo frowned, taken aback by the offer. Then he said, “No, Raph. You also have the exam tomorrow.”

Raphael, leaning against the counter, crossed his muscular arms and shook his head, his hair caressing his cheeks. “I’d have missed the exam anyway, Leo, and it’s not important because I’m considering dropping out. I haven’t got time for that bullshit. The only negative thing is that I wanted to go to your karate class…”

Leo frowned again and slightly tilted his head to one side before he said, “My ninjitsu classes? Why?”

“Let’s say I want to know how to honorably fight.”

Raphael didn’t hesitate to laugh at the pun, now that he no longer felt that Leo was reluctant.

Leo bit his lip and said, “Listen, Raphael. I have a deal to offer you if you want. Go to your exam tomorrow morning and join me for lunch. I will have found a replacement to look after Mikey until at least Tuesday in the morning and I’ll go to my afternoon exam.”

Raphael listened attentively, his eyes gazing into Leo’s and his heart pounding, as he wondered what else Leo would say.

"If you want, by the time I find the right person or when Donnie returns from his business trip, we can do half-days alternately, but I don't want you to drop classes. I’ll give you private lessons in my basement dojo and will be your Sensei and friend in return. You’ll learn much faster alone with me. Do we have a deal?”

Raphael was about to exclaim that they had a deal when Leo felt obliged to elaborate on his terms.

“I did say ‘friend’ only, Raph. It’s over at the slightest gesture, word or suggestive look.”

Despite the fact that his heart was shattered about the condition, Raphael thought it was already a step in the right direction and shook his outstretched hand. He would be what Leo needed him to be.

Leo, smiling, visibly reassured, thanked him, saying that Mikey would be happy to have a new company and to satisfy his gluttony.

Suddenly remembering what Leo had said about his cousin, Raphael said, “Where has your cousin Donnie gone?"

"Tokyo.  Family Affair. Great upheavals are about to occur. I'm going to see Mikey and Case find out if they're hungry. Thanks again, friend."

Leaving Raphael, who was stunned by the news, Leo exited the kitchen.


	9. Call of Duty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For WhatEvenIsThis112

The evening had ended beyond what Raphael had hoped for when he’d entered the building. He was sitting between Casey and Leo and his leg was only two to three inches away from Leo’s, so he could almost feel the heat emanating from Leo. They’d eaten popcorn and their hands had briefly touched.  And Raphael didn’t think he could be happier.

If someone had told him a month prior that he’d be satisfied with something as small as a hand brushing his, he wouldn’t have believed it and would have scoffed. And even less that the objection of his affection would be a boy. But he was unable to deny it with the heat inside of him at each of his friend’s kind smiles. He was in love.

Leo couldn’t return the feeling for now, but it didn’t matter. Raphael was carried away by the sweet feeling of really loving a partner for the first time in his life.

The only dampener of the evening was a call from his father, who, having first called to see if he’d seen Johnny, reprimanded him for wasting his time by watching a football match with friends when there were more urgent matters that needed his attention.

Effectively.

A glance at Leo, who was tenderly stroking Mikey's head, lying beneath his brother's lap, reassured him of his desire to protect his lover. In any case, it was out of the question that he’d let someone as precious as Leo become an organized crime lord. He wouldn't go so far as to say that Leo was fragile, pure or innocent. He didn't remember having had a sexual partner so talented and full of initiatives. But despite everything, he remained a person too estimable for that kind of baseness.

The fact that his lover's cousin was in Tokyo filled him with apprehension. No doubt Donny knew what Leo was and if he didn't know, he was going to reveal him. How could he prevent it? Donny was like Elena in that he was untouchable. Leo liked him.

Raphael thought about the next day. He’d be alone with the kid for several hours. It’d be easy to make Mikey tell him what Leo’s cousin was, what his motives were and what his weaknesses were.

When Raphael and Casey left, he hugged the black-haired man, assuring him that he’d be there at noon the following day. He dropped Casey home and after briefly stopping at his home to get his weapons, to remove his light sweater and to put on a black T-shirt and his leather jacket, he set off for his task.

The next morning, while the exam was being distributed, asleep-deprived Raphael  (he’d had very little sleep over the weekend) placed his head on his desk and wondered if he had the strength to look at the text he’d just received on his phone. He picked up the phone, looked at the text and immediately sat up straight.

"Good luck with the exam. Are you still coming over this afternoon?"

He knew he looked like a fanboy, but he was seriously on the verge of kissing his phone. Leo had thought about him and had sent a friendly message! Finally, his task of making corpses unrecognizable paid off!

Raphael, however, had to stop purging his clan for a while and had to eradicate the Japanese instead. He’ d have liked to have waited for Leo’s martial arts classes, but it wasn’t like he was going to be a black belt after a few lessons anyway. He was going to confuse his clan for the moment. They’d surely blame the yakuza or their other enemies. He’d blame others, but would collect as much information as he could about the Japanese mafia.

Raphael had to protect Leo from their contact. In any case, he was now too committed to back down.  He just hoped his father stayed in Naples a good while longer. He hadn’t thought about what he’d do when his father returned.

The exam paper lay on his desk and for once he tried to concentrate on it, despite his immense fatigue. The studies seemed essential and important to Leo and although he knew he couldn’t impress him academically, he didn’t want to disappoint him either.

Raphael rushed out as soon as the bell went. He climbed into his car and decided that he’d stop to buy sweets for his lover and groceries to make dinner for him and Mikey. Suspecting that Mikey might be present and Leo might not be able to enjoy his treats, Raphael bought sweets for Mikey too. His shopping finished, he climbed into his car and drove to Leo’s place.

He was rewarded a hundredfold for his initiative by the boy's enthusiastic cries and the elder's touched look.

Leo warmly thanked him, while munching on the delicious chocolates Raphael had bought him.

“It’s scrumptious, Raph,” Leo enthused. “You didn’t have to buy them. What flavor is it? It tastes special."

Proud of himself and for getting Leo’s attention, Raphael smiled.  “A mixture of chocolate and spice or peppers. You're too special to settle for commercial chocolate that tastes like wax, Leo. This is anise flavored to remind you of Elena's kisses, "he said without laughing.

Leo blushed and changed the subject. “I’ll be back around eight, which is pretty soon after Mikey’s bedtime. You have to give him his pills in three hours’ time and again at his bedtime. He’ll whine and say he doesn’t want them. Don’t listen to him. It’s vital he takes them.”

Le tenderly kissed Mikey’s forehead and made him promise to behave and after patting Raphael's shoulder as a sign of camaraderie, he left. Raphael stood up and gazed through the living room window to see Leo’s car disappearing.

It didn’t take long before Mikey called him and reminded him about his role as baby sitter.

"What are we playing?" Raphael asked.

Raphael had had little interaction with children and especially, not for so long. Two hours later, he was exhausted and didn’t know what to do to entertain the kid, who demanded his attention all of the time.

"Listen, Mikey,” Raphael said. “Let’s talk a bit, but no video games. Let's talk about your big brother, Leo.”

Mikey sat cross-logged on the couch. He shrugged, while still holding his game controller. “There’s nothing to say. You know him. He’s nice, but too strict and he doesn’t know how to cook.”

Raphael laughed at the last comment. It was so true. However, he wanted to ask specific questions and he knew he had to be subtle. “Yes, but I’m curious about some things, like his tattoo, for example. What does it mean?”

"He came back from Japan with, it. He was there for three weeks in December. He told me that the tattooing was painful and that he almost fainted. They did it in an old fashioned way and not with an electric needle. He doesn’t want me to have one and that’s why. I’m in no danger and my father didn’t have one. He was just an average guy. But Leo’s father had one. The tattoo seems to be the opposite of his personality. That’s why it’s the Dragon. Leo’s a cool dude and isn’t aggressive at all.”

It was becoming virtually undeniable that Leo was part of the yakuza, but Raphael needed to know if Leo knew the tattoo’s meaning.

Raphael digested the information and said, “Why did he go to Japan? Did he return a different person?”

Mikey shook his head and said, “No. He was the same person and like a guy, whose mother had just died and who was coping with a sick brother. He told me we were going to Donny’s house. I thought New York would be cool, but I can't go out that much. Leo promised me walks in thein the park in spring."

The boy was less cheerful than usual, which was normal, given the topics. Raphael asked in the softest voice possible, “And Cousin Donny? What does he do? He has a nice apartment. He must have a good job.”

“He’s a part time doctor and a scientist. And another complicated name that gives lots of money to poor and sick people. He buys sports equipment for schools, organizes fundraisers in chic cocktails, stuff like that." Mikey shrugged and added, “Leo likes what he does, because, you know I'm a sick kid too."

Raphael was listening attentively to Mikey, who was getting animated in his explanations, and was gesturing with his hands. “Donny’s father is Giga, mega rich, but I think they fought, so Donny lives in exile here and uses his own money. But he works a lot. He takes care of me when Leo’s absent if he’s not working.  Or he sometimes trains with Leo, even if he’s not good at it. But it’s a family thing. He must be skilled in ninjitsu, or he’s a loser in his family’s eyes, even if he’s a self-made billionaire. He was one at twenty-one-years-old. Leo’s beyond great, so he teaches Donny as payment for his generosity."

Raphael nodded, while thinking. His jealous side disliked that Donny was a respected philanthropist, as well as extremely rich. He felt even more unworthy of his lover.

He restrained himself from asking more questions, telling himself that he shouldn’t bombard Mikey with too many questions at once. After all, he was going to have other opportunities and he also didn’t want Mikey to tell his older brother that they’d only chatted about family secrets all afternoon.  He decided he’d ask a question that had tormented him, since he’d first been to Leo’s house. “Do your cousin Donny and Leo get along well?”

“He’s not my cousin. Just Leo’s and they get along well. They were inseparable as kids. Then something happened and Donny went to live in New York with his parents. I don’t know what it is, but…” Mikey looked the right and whispered, “I think it was sexual.”

Raphael tried to stay calm, as he squirmed and tried not to grab Mikey by the shoulders to glean information faster. “Why do you say that?” Raphael said, feigning nonchalance.

"In the early days here, Leo didn't want Donny to stay with me alone. He was edgy. Donny confronted him and he said something like, ‘I won’t touch him. I don't feel the same way and he’s only a child! I loved you. In fact, we loved one another and were the same age.’ So I deduced it was sexual.”

Raphael frowned, not daring to interrupt Mikey’s explanation, because he was again caught up in what he was saying.

“Leo then exploded and said that he hadn’t even been nine-years-old and that he hadn’t known what he was doing, while Donnie, who was twelve, did. I’m not stupid. I understood what they were talking about.”

Raphael had to restrain himself from appearing too shocked or mad. When Mikey had said the word ‘sexual’, it wasn’t exactly what he’d thought. It was much darker. Still, Mikey seemed relaxed, unfazed and unembarrassed about it and his hands rested on his lap.

“Donny broke down,” Mikey continued. “And said that he’d paid enough for that. He’d left his country and had lost Leo at the same time. He also said that he loved Leo too much to make things worse with him and that I was just a little brother to him and that Leo should try to trust him again.”

Mikey rolled his shoulder and looked a bit brighter. “So it’s difficult for Leo to leave me with someone else He must like you a lot.”

The last sentenced warmed Raphael’s heart. He was still shocked at what he’d learned about Donny, but it was good news if Leo trusted him more than his cousin. He smiled kindly at Mikey, who then said, “Can we watch Batman?”

At 7:15 p.m., after giving the kid his pills, Raphael was happy that he finally went to bed. He was adorable, but draining. Returning from Mikey's room, he passed Leo's door, which was ajar. He seemed to feel the smell of the handsome male getting off from it. He pushed open the door to better appreciate the scent. By reflex, he flipped on the light switch and immediately regretted it.

He was in his beloved’s room during his absence. Touching Leo’s belongings, lying on his bed, touching his clothes and perhaps discovering important secrets about him was too tempting. Raphael lay down on the bed and sniffed the pillow. The scent of Leo’s hair emanated from it and he had a desire to undress and to snuggle naked in the sheets that were in daily contact with his lover’s skin. He took off his T-shirt and shuddered from the feeling of the sheets rubbing against his bare skin.

Raphael’s eyes shifted to the picture on the night table of Leo and his little brother. He took it, lay down and studied it intently. Leo’s smile was more open than usual and without realizing it; Raphael’s hands went down to his pants. Leo would arrive home soon, but jerking off would only last a few minutes. He’d have plenty of time to clean up and to return to the living room.

Combined visual and olfactory stimuli quickly affected him. When he was done, Raphael hugged the picture to his chest and after barely cleaning it, put his now flaccid dick in his boxers.

He closed his eyes for only a moment.

Raphael was woken when a voice pulled him out of his deep sleep.

“I thought you’d left. Sorry for the delay.”

A stunned Raphael checked the time. It was 11:15 p.m. He’d been asleep for four hours. No wonder with his recent lack of sleep. He suddenly realized what he must look like was and was alarmed. His jeans were open, revealing his red boxers, and his stomach was still dirty. He blushed, as Leo gazed at him.

Then he pulled up his jeans, grabbed his shirt and stammered, “I…I loosened my jeans, so I could sleep more comfortably.  The rest happened on its own.”

“Yeah. My picture fell on its own too.”

Raphael realized that Leo’s accent was thicker than usual and he was slurring his words.

Something was wrong. Suspicious, he approached and sniffed the young man, who remained motionless.

"You drank," Raphael said crossly. “And not a little. You can’t do that, Leo. Alcohol doesn’t …” 

Leo’s face darkened and he snapped, “You don't have to tell me what to do. You're not my father. It was only sake. What can it do to you? Why are you mad about it?"

“I’m mad, because I… You matter a lot to me, Leo. Alcohol won’t solve your problems,” Raphael explained and reached for Leo’s hand.

"Because you manage them better, perhaps?”  Leo retorted. “Weren’t you completely fucked up at the arena yesterday? I don't know how I could be so irresponsible and let a cocaine addict take care of my little brother!"

Raphael might have become madder and told Leo to shove his sake in his ass, but the broken tone in which Leo had uttered the last words had had the effect of a cold shower on his anger. His friend had surely learned harsh news about his brother's health. He didn't need Raphael to get upset anymore. In any case, a good deal of the objection was deserved.

“Leo, I'm sorry, I didn't want to lecture you. I'll leave you, okay? See you at lunch tomorrow if you don’t mind. Do you need anything?"

By the time Raphael blinked, Leo was pressed against him:

"Kiss me."

Without thinking, Raphael instinctively captured the soft lips that had made him fantasize for days, in a very possessive kiss.

Warmth pooled in his body and groin, but Leo’s breath reminded him that he was drunk, out of his mind and that he’d blame Raphael if he took advantage of him the next day.

"Stop."

Raphael contemplated the abandoned body, the face transfigured by desire, the blue eyes casting a lecherous glance under the veiled eyelids, half-opened lips offered like a ripe fruit and hands clenched against Raphael’s biceps, fearful he’d leave. Leo’s body screamed “Do me."

Raphael should accept the offer, while it was on the table. Maybe Leo wouldn’t even remember it the next day. However, he was determined to succeed if it was a test.

“Leo,” Raphael said. “I won’t do anything you’ll regret. Maybe tomorrow, okay. You go to bed. Come here.”

Not listening to any of his lover's stubborn protests, Raphael undressed him and put him to bed, biting his lip in frustration, as he saw his lover’s hard dick in his white underwear. Leo tried to tease him, but finding it wasn’t working, he pouted and turned onto his stomach showing off his perfect buttocks. He was fast asleep a minute later.

Raphael switched off the extremely bright ceiling light and turned on the dimmer light of a desk lamp. Then he fetched water and headache tablets. He put them on the bedside table and stayed for a quarter of an hour, silently observing Leo’s back, which rose and fell, as he breathed. The dragon moved, taunting him. He didn't understand why the tattoo awakened so many emotions in him. But whatever. His lover had to get rid of the revealing symbol. He wondered if that was possible with the usage of the ancestral method.

He carefully approached Leo and planted a kiss on his forehead.

“Goodnight, baby.”

Raphael couldn’t linger. He’d just remembered that he quickly needed an Asian corpse to make the change from purging his clan. He’d make it appear like his lover had died by removing the eyeballs and would draw the same tattoo on the back. He snapped pictures of his lover’s naked body, under the pretext of having a more realistic model of the tattoo to imitate, but Raphael knew that he’d jerk off to them as soon as he was in his car. Feeling nostalgic, he briefly caressed the curves of Leo’s buttocks before he covered Leo with the duvet.

He had to protect Leo at all costs. Anyway, he was also protecting himself, since he was too deep in shit to get out alive if he stopped half way.

Raphael would have liked to have slept at Leo’s place, but duty called. He sent a last kiss to his lover and disappeared.


	10. A lesson of humility

Raphael didn’t go to class. It’d been catastrophic the previous evening. He’d left Leo home alone for too long (without mentioning the ten minutes of masturbating to his lover’s photo) He’d been carefree in the matter for the first time.

Wanting to trap two purple dragons, he also stumbled upon three members of his gang. He’d apparently been recognized. He’d barely escaped from the bullets, had managed to kill them and had then had to dispose of the five bodies. Both dragons had back tattoos to his frustration.

How could he have guessed that? They’d fought dressed. He had to start again, but he had to be more discreet and cautious. The bullet had come so close, he’d heard it whistling past. Too close for his liking.

Raphael contacted one of his friends after at least six hours of sleep. The guy was a big fan of GN, Comic-con, and other geek stuff. He created weapons and armor, both as a hobby and as his livelihood.

“I have something for you, Raph. It's not finished yet, but it will be in a few days.”

His red Italian motorbike was far too eye-catching. Raphael needed something stealthy and less conspicuous. He knew another friend, Casey's cousin, who was a mechanic. He fixed cars and bikes and he always drooled over Raphael’s Maserati. He could discreetly exchange it for a less showy motorbike.

Raphael quickly did a grocery shop and arrived early at Leo’s place. He wondered if his friend was still hungover from the night before. He hadn’t had enough time to ask Leo what the doctors had told him about Mikey’s condition.

Raphael also wondered if Leo would remember his seduction attempts the day before and if he’d also be embarrassed about it. In any case, Raphael wasn’t complaining. He’d thought with delight about the kiss exchanged that day. A Latin maxim mentioned that truth is in wine.

In vino veritas.

Was Leo significantly more attracted to him that he was willing to admit?

The young man with black hair was very mysterious and Raphael couldn’t stop asking himself questions, such as "What if all of this is a trap? A machination? Revenge? "

The poison Johnny had dished out was affecting him. After all, Leo had done everything to create antagonism between them and had aroused desire in him.

He rebuked himself and said, “No. Remember it was you, who verbally abused him from the first day when he was having a quiet lunch with Elena. You asked him to a rendezvous in a park to give him a lesson, which turned against you. "

Raphael shook his head, dismissing intrusive thoughts, and rang the bell.

Leo greeted him with open arms but appeared slightly perplexed.

“Here already, Raph? I didn’t expect you for another thirty minutes. Have you ditched classes?”

Raphael somewhat subtly eluded the question and said, “I thought you’d rather eat something edible before going to school.”

He unpacked and began preparing the meal, while a reproachful Leo and enthusiastic Mikey watched him. Raphael decided to gently confront Leo about the previous day to deflect attention to his own “crimes”. “So you don’t have a headache, Leo?”

“Not too bad,” Leo said with a smile.  “Thank you for the glass of water and the Advil.”

Leo’s smile was sincere but tinged with some embarrassment. He must remember. Raphael decided not to push him. Leo, grateful for his discretion, continued, “I’ll give you your first Ninjitsu lesson this evening if you want. What do you say? I canceled the ones at school and will be here at four p.m.”

“Perfect. I’m looking forward to it,” Raphael said. He was aware he was grinning like an idiot, but couldn't help it.

They ate and Leo left.

Raphael sighed. He was crazy about Leo and his little brother was cute, but the thought of spending another afternoon with Mikey was exhausting. The kid could be extremely energetic when he wanted to be and it wasn’t easy to calm him down when he made a fuss.

“So Mikey, what’s up?” Raphael said, trying to be calm. “Was Leo in a good mood this morning?”

Asking too precise questions was impossible.

The boy turned to him to answer, but his attention then shifted elsewhere and he said, “Look. A blue jay!”

Raphael frowned before realizing Mikey was staring at something behind him. He turned around, gazed through the window and saw a bird sitting on the branches of a tree.

“It’s Leo’s favorite bird,” Mikey said. “Give me your phone. I want to take a photo of it before it flies away.”

Raphael handed his phone to him without thinking. The white and blue bird stayed still, while Mikey waved at it and took several photos. Raphael watched him with a smirk. It was no wonder that the bird was Leo’s favorite. Something about the bird reminded him of the ebony haired teenager. Maybe it was the black beak or the mixture of blue and white on his feathers. Raphael couldn’t give a detailed explanation.

The bird flew away a few minutes later and Mikey remained standing by the window, studying the photos he’d taken, scrolling through them. He suddenly gasped in surprise and his eyes flew wide.

“Whoa, dude!” Mikey said. “You have pictures of my naked brother!”

Raphael’s smile quickly vanished and he paled. How could he have forgotten about the photos?

 

Profoundly mortified, his cheeks red, he reached out to snatch his phone back.

"Give it back to me, Mikey. It’s private!”

Mikey held the phone out of his reach and his eyes shone with amusement.

“Are you in love with my brother, Raph? Does he know?”

The damn kid laughed and an ashamed Raphael begged him to shut up and told him that it wasn’t what he thought. He tried to get his phone back again. Mikey stopped chuckling and told him that he wasn’t as naïve as Raphael though.

“Don’t take me for a dumbass. Please. That dude’s Leo. It’s his tattoo, his bed, and his hair.”

Cornered, Raphael was obliged to admit at least part of the truth. “Okay. It’s Leo, but I didn’t take photos for the reasons you think! I…I have a friend, who wanted an idea for a tattoo. That’s it!” he lied, flushed.

His cheeks so red, it felt like they were burning, his heart on the brink of exploding, Raphael hoped Mikey would believe his excuse, but Mikey’s skeptical look told him he didn’t.

“Honestly, Raph. Do you think I’d believe that? Anyway, why does it bother you? Leo’s very handsome and sexy! Anyone can see that you either gaze at him with a lustful look or a dreamy expression on your face. Donny saw it. It made him incensed with jealousy and he argued with Leo about it. My brother denied having a romance with you. I wasn’t sure who to believe, but this….”

Mikey seemed amused by the situation. He started hopping around like a frog and said, “Admit it, Raph. You loooove him." Annoyed, Raphael would have liked to tell him to shut up, but he wasn’t really in the position of doing so.

“We’re two men, Mikey. Doesn’t that bother you?”

Mikey stopped in his tracks, standing on one of the sofa’s armrests, and he shrugged.

“No” It doesn’t matter if it’s a guy or girl. Donny loves Leo and that doesn’t make him a bad person. Admit it!”

He pointed his finger at Raphael, who felt obliged to be truthful. Damn kid!

"Okay! Okay! But don't tell. It’d unnecessarily complicate things between me and Leo. Your brother has someone else. A girl. You must have heard about her, right? Elena?"

Mikey shook his head and plopped down on the couch, still holding Raphael’s phone.

“Nada. Leo doesn’t talk about his love life to anyone. Maybe he’d write about it in his diary if he has one.”

Raphael persisted and said, “But you said he had many girlfriends, right? Have you ever seen him with a boyfriend?”

"No boy. My mother encouraged Leo to bring girls to our home. I think she wanted him to have roots and to never to return to Japan. But, I never saw Leo deeply in love.”

Raphael bitterly thought that Mikey hadn’t seen Leo shoving his tongue down Elena’s throat.

“Listen, Mikey. I don’t want you to tell Leo, okay? Can you do that for me?”

Raphael looked at Mikey hopefully and tried to smile at him. Mikey narrowed his eyes, handed the phone to Raphael and smiled devilishly.

“I will, Raph, but I want a chocolate cake and you’ll play all the games I want to tonight!”

After an afternoon as Mikey's slave, Raphael was relieved when Leo arrived, although he was also a bit anxious that Mikey wouldn’t keep his promise.

Leo seemed happy to see him and Mikey playing video games. “Raph! I hope you had a good day. I covered for your absence this morning and explained that you’d be absent every afternoon this week if you wanted to be. The director was very understanding, but I know that Mikey can sometimes be draining. Don’t worry if you want to attend class instead.”

Raphael shook his head and exclaimed how adorable Mikey was.

“Mikey,” Leo said. “You know I like drinking tea when I watch the news. Can you switch your game off, please? Raphael and I’ll go to the basement. You can come with us to watch us or you can stay here and play video games.”

Mikey begged to give him time to complete his virtual mission. Then he added with a smile, “Nah, bro. I’ll leave you guys alone.”

As if he hadn’t already emphasized the word ‘alone’ enough, he nodded at Raphael to further emphasize it. Fortunately, Leo was too busy brewing his tea to notice.

When the tea was ready, Leo sat beside Raphael on the couch, much to Raphael’s delight. Nothing could bring him more satisfaction than the handsome teenager’s body being so close and seeing his blue eyes shining with gratitude. Raphael’s hand itched to place it on Leo’s thigh, but Leo had stated that he only wanted friendly contact and nothing intimate. Was it more than friendly contact? He surely wouldn’t have touched Casey that way. But Leo had tried to kiss him the day before. Was it only because of the sake?

Raphael was drawn from his thoughts by the news presenter and his blood froze.

“Nearly a dozen bodies, which were atrociously mutilated, were found in the city’s sewers. Their identities aren’t yet known and the assassin made them unrecognizable. The FBI profilers are working on the case now to create a profile of the dangerous psychopathic serial killer.”

“That’s horrific,” Leo said. “I sometimes regret coming to such a violent city with Mikey.”

Raphael opened his mouth to say that his victims probably deserved their fates and that this was a means of protecting a loved one, but while he was thinking about the right words to say so that his opinion didn’t arouse suspicion, Mikey chimed in. “Yes, Leo. It’s a shame. There are always supervillains, but never any superheroes. I’d have liked to have seen a real superhero, who stops the criminals before I die. A true vigilante in a cool suit that’d protect the innocent!”

Shocked by the boy, who was talking about his death, Raphael quickly turned to comfort Leo, who was devastated by what Mikey had said. To Raphael’s amazement, he saw no distress on Leo’s handsome face but saw a firm resolution.

Leo donned a sports outfit, he and Raphael went down to the basement and went into a large room with tatami mats on the floor. Weapons covered the walls. They were neatly arranged and a large mirror was on the back wall. Leo showed him two doors and said, “That’s the weightlifting room. I rarely lift weights, because I already train enough. I don’t need to be more muscular.”

Despite himself, Raphael couldn’t help glancing appreciatively at Leo’s obvious fit and toned body. No. Leo didn’t need to do more. Paying no attention to lustful Raphael’s glances, Leo continued, “There are the showers. I’ll show you how they work later. Donny’s used such advanced technology with them that I don’t know all the possibilities yet.”

Raphael hadn’t listened further than ‘I'll show you how they work later,’ his imagination conjuring everything that Leo could show him in the showers. He was drawn from his libidinous thoughts by the handsome teenager.

“Donny recently set up this Dojo for our training, but I think it’s mostly for me. He doesn’t come here if I’m absent. He even installed an intercom. Mikey can communicate with me at any time or merely press an emergency button upstairs. That's why I'm not so worried."

Leo took off his white T-shirt, revealing his sublime pectorals. It took Raphael a few seconds to do the same, only keeping his black sports pants on. He remained uncertain, waiting for his Sensei’s instructions. He knew nothing about martial arts and about their etiquette.

Leo must have sensed his discomfort, because he said, “Let’s see what you can do. I’m going to show you the first kata. You watch me and then you try to imitate me.”

Raphael wordlessly watched Leo do his kata. Despite his desire to comply with any requirement of his lover, Raphael frowned at the seemingly useless choreography.

"Did you see?” Leo said. “It’s your turn. Imitate me.”

"Why aren’t we going on to the next lesson when you show me what I can do in real combat with real bad boys?”

Leo looked perplexed and said, “Beginners start with katas, which are a way of perfecting your posture and blockages.”

"Hey!  I don’t care whether it’s graceful or not, right, as long as I can block the blow? Show me some of the fancy kicks,” Raphael insisted. Then an idea hit him. “Unless you don’t know how to do it…”

The mocking insinuation made Leo narrow his almond-shaped eyes. “You have no idea of my level of mastery. Why don’t you shut up and learn, since I’m generous to teach you?”

Raphael now felt annoyed. It wasn’t like he wasn’t skilled at all! Despite his good will, his pride got the better of him. “You don’t know my level either, okay, Leo? I know how to block and hit. I’m the champion of the wrestling team! I’m a born fighter, so stop treating me like a seven-year-old!”

“That’s right. I’d forgotten your impressive achievement in the park the other night!”

The irony showed how much Leo had been impressed. Raphael’s cheeked reddened in shame and anger. Leo had kicked his ass without even trying that evening.

To further get his point across, Leo leaned over to pick up a box, showing his buttocks that were enhanced by his royal blue Adidas shorts. He bent down a bit longer than necessary, according to Raphael, who couldn’t stop staring at the tempting show.

Leo stood up, turned and threw two objects, one after the other at Raphael. Raphael instinctively caught them.

“So,” Leo said. “It’s obvious you want to quickly get down to business.”

Raphael looked at the two weapons in puzzlement and grumbled, as he awkwardly held them, “What are these ridiculous forks?”

“Your only chance of survival against me.”

The young man charged against Raphael without any warning, his katanas raised.

Raphael reflexively managed to block the first two blows.

After a while, Leo spoke in a foreign language and stopped.

“Not bad, Raph. You managed to defend yourself. I must say before you get cocky, that I went easy on you. You’d have beaten a less experienced opponent. You have a warrior like instinct in it. It’s….” Leo paused for a moment and his eyes took on an almost feline look. Then he said with an animal smile, “Interesting. We’ll be able to have a lot more fun than I thought. You have a lot of potentials, but you need to know the basics in order to move forward. You’ll quickly learn if you regularly train with me. Three hours daily will be okay.”

Raphael’s heart swelled with happiness. First, he’d received few congratulations in his life. His father never paid him compliments. Hearing praises from the one he adored meant so much. Also, the prospect of spending three hours daily with Leo filled him with satisfaction. If learning choreography would make Leo proud of him, he’d do it.

The lesson continued. Kick forward, back, side, round, hook and the first three katas. Raphael easily mastered it to the surprised and delighted Leo.

“You’ve managed to master what others take six months to learn in two hours,” Leo said with some pride. “Another three lessons like this and I could say you’ve moved on to the middle level.”

Raphael blushed, panting, his forehead beaded with sweat. He smiled in satisfaction. He could get used to the feeling of having done well and of feeling like he was worth something.

Raphael placed his hands on hips to catch his breath. Leo stood upright, arms folded. He was also winded, but far less than Raphael, probably because he was used to it and had better control of his breathing.

Looking satisfied, Leo said, “Let’s do sparring with weapons again.”

Excited, Raphael beamed. Leo quickly showed him an assortment of weapons, explaining that the weapons he held were called sai and that it was the preferred defense weapon against the katanas.

“I think we should sharpen the end, right?” Raphael suggested, looking at his “forks.” It could be used as a dagger too. He explained it would then be doubly efficient, being both offensive and defensive weapons.

It didn't seem to please Leo, who frowned and said, “You think like a psychopath, you know? You ruin this art with your pragmatic comments and are worse than Donny!”

Raphael shrugged. He didn’t see the harm in bringing new blood to a fighting style going back nearly a millennium. They didn't have to fight against Ak47s in the olden times. He could accept that someone as classy as Leo would conform to ancient traditions. But having to face daily enemies heavily armed, Raphael didn't have to submit to the dictates of the ancient art.

Leo then introduced him to the katas, which Raphael thought laughable, and to the bo that Raphael didn't like because Leo had pointed out that it was Donny's chosen weapon. Raphael hid his real reason for his disgust with the weapon and said that it was cowardly attacking at such a distance and repelling enemies with a six-foot stick, while the sai, which was used at a closer distance was more the weapon of a brave a man.

"Of course," Leo said contemptuously.  “Shooting someone in the back twenty feet away is more valuable."

Faced with Leo’s sudden fierceness, Raphael thought it best to be quiet and carefully handled the nunchakus. His clumsiness with the weapon made Leo smile, much to his relief.

"You should ask Mikey to show you when you're alone with him, Raph,” Leo said. “He’s better than me."

While handling a tonfa, Raphael judged that most of his weapons were somewhat impractical. Too showy or not lethal enough. In spite of his personal opinion, he scrupulously listened to his Sensei’s instructions, doing all of the exercises. Following all the new techniques learned, Leo proposed a rematch to see if, in a few hours, Raphael had made enough progress to integrate the new movements into combat.

Fighting Leo was exhilarating. It was like looking for contact and fleeing at the same time because Raphael only wanted one thing. He wanted to get rid of the perennial blade of the katana and press his body up against Leo.  Any contact intoxicated him, Raphael had the impression that their bodies danced against each other, avoiding and seeking at the same time.

Leo was talented, Raphael had suspected he would be, but seeing him in action was edifying. He could see all the years of experience with the precise movements of the teenager. Each of his blows was intended to hurt and he split the air with confidence. Raphael couldn’t help admiring the strength and undeniable talent that emanated from his Sensei.

Raphael was on his back, Leo sitting on him about twenty minutes later. The blade of Leo’s katana was placed at Raphael’s throat. Raphael didn’t surrender on the spot, taking advantage of Leo dominating him. He stayed still, listening to Leo panting and staring at the sparkling steel blue eyes that radiated joy at beating his lover. Leo’s pale skin was rosy with the effort and his face radiated with macho pride. Never had Raphael felt so indifferent to being dominated by someone stronger than him before. Feeling Leo’s warm body against his was far more exhilarating than a stroked ego.

Raphael quickly conceded defeat when he realized that his body was starting to react to the contact with his lover’s. Leo seemed to hesitate for a moment. Then he stood up and extended a hand to help Raphael to his feet.

“That was fine,” Leo praised. “You know how to integrate the newly learned techniques. Your progress is astonishing. You’re naturally talented. I don’t know if you’ll hit a plateau like Donny He didn’t improve, despite my lessons. Each movement learned is the result of intense training and he’s not very disciplined to spend so much time practicing. Donny always has better things to do. He’s good. Don’t get me wrong, but not enough for…”

Leo stopped midsentence, which attracted Raphael’s attention. His friend was hiding things from him and seemed less ignorant than Raphael would have liked him to be.

Feeling uncomfortable, Leo changed the subject and said, “I suggest we train from four to seven p.m. daily. What do you say? You’ll be a formidable opponent in a few months at that rate. You can keep the sai. Practice using them. It’d be wise to make it your favorite weapon, as my partner since I always fight with katanas.”

Raphael nodded and took a large swig of water. It was already 7:15 p.m. and he was starving. Perhaps Leo would allow him to dine with them.

“I’ll explain the shower’s control panel,” Leo said.

With interest, Raphael followed him, despite the fact that this eagerness was more in connection with the possibility of seeing the other young man naked than discovering high-tech gadgets.

The shower was huge, undoubtedly accommodating six people and had multiple jets. Leo showed him the touch screen, which allowed him to adjust the flow and temperature of his water.

"In fact, it’s not a flow,” Leo said. “But more of a drizzle. It's ecological. Donny’s a very convinced environmentalist. You can even save your preferences under your name. You can either tap your finger or say your name. It’s equipped with voice recognition as well. If you don’t have an opinion, you can choose the "demo" mode. That's what I do when I shower with Donny. He likes cold water."

Raphael nodded, refusing to look impressed by the inventions of Leo's cousin, whom he continued to perceive as a rival, as foolish as it was. After showing him everything, Leo ran a hand through his hair and announced, “I’m leaving you. I’m going to see Mikey. I’ll see you tomorrow in case I’m still in the shower when you leave. Don’t miss your classes tomorrow. They’re important.”

Raphael couldn’t help looking disappointed. He dared not insist on sharing his shower with the beautiful teenager, fearing he’d annoy him.

He watched Leo leave and undressed. He pressed Leo's name to find out what his lover was used to, trying to share a bit of himself. He bitterly thought that Cousin Donny showered with Leo. He decided not to think about these negative thoughts and instead thought about what he was going to do with his evening.

It was out of the question that he risked his life tonight. Not until his armor and his new bike were ready. Changing one's weapons was also self-evident. His revolvers, received at his Confirmation, were unique and would denounce him at a Sicilian’s glance. At the same time, it’d beneficial if he could make some progress in ninjitsu to help when facing Yakuza. In any case, the disappearances of his clan members must have caused panic and confusion, removing Leo from their mind, admitting that he was there.

No one had made any reference to this for the moment. They’d talked about a successor, but apart from a tattoo covered by clothing, no one had any idea what the heir looked like. They probably didn’t expect a bright-eyed teenager.

Yes. Raphael might be able to relax and do an everyday casual thing, besides fantasizing about Leo. Typical guy things, like he’d done before, such as playing poker, drinking in a bar with his friends or watching sport with them.

Determined to have a quiet evening, Raphael showered, dressed and grabbed his cell phone, intending on calling Casey. Reading the text messages he’d received when he’d been training with Leo, he cursed in Italian and English. He’d been ordered to come to the paternal restaurant for an urgent meeting.

His evening wouldn’t be quiet after all. He sighed and picked up what he needed.

The meeting had been boring. Raphael wasn’t a talented comedian. He faked being concerned about his missing men when he was only concerned about protecting Leo. His captains asked Raphael’s opinion when they were accusing the Yakuza. Raphael wasn’t used to verbalizing it. Uncle Marcello’s death had been a miracle. Thanks to his new powers, he could keep his lover in the shadows by letting another gang go.

“It’s the Russians,” Raphael said. “Their mafia’s trying to gain ground globally. I thought I heard the journalists talking about Asian victims. It seems like it isolates them from potential culprits, right?”

Everyone nodded. Raphael thought it wise to give his lieutenants cautionary advice. “Always go in pairs for all transactions and be armed at all times.”

He knew his advice was futile. Even if they were armed and there were two of them, he’d still be superior, because he had the advantage of knowing where they’d be.

But he’d stand in check for the moment. His kevlar armor wasn’t ready. His friend needed a few more days to make the titanium plates and helmet. Raphael had also requested something that was bulletproof and that could also withstand stabbing. The kinetic energy of these two types of aggression being dissimilar, he’d asked for an alloy particular in weaving.

Raphael knew he wouldn’t entirely be invulnerable, but he mainly needed a costume that respected his anonymity, while not weighing him down. He’d also managed to obtain a new weapon that was more efficient and less ostentatious from a contact. Raphael clenched his fists in a gesture of impatience. He couldn’t wait to get started. He’d think about a long-term plan when a forced truce occurred. How far would it go? When would Leo be safe? He shook his head to chase away the upsetting questions. He couldn’t afford to be lost in thought at a meeting. He looked around; trying to see if he’d convinced his interlocutors.

The Russian track seemed to satisfy everyone as a possibility.

Then he had his father on a video conference, who’d barked at him in front of everyone, demanding to know where he was and where he spent his days. He could safely say that he’d decided to take martial arts lessons to improve his hand-to-hand combat against other Asian criminal gangs. He was congratulated on his initiative by his surprised father. Raphael told himself that his father had probably not imagined that because he was used to Raphael partying.

Raphael's contentment came to an abrupt end when his genitor announced that he shouldn’t leave the track of the Yakuza, he had a leak about them and that depending on the information he’d receive, he might return to New York very soon.

Raphael paled. His father’s return would complicate the situation to an untenable point.

His father asked him before he concluded the video conference, “What is it with you, Raphael? You seem nervous. Have you knocked up another poor girl? And you’re waiting for your daddy to clean up your mess?”

Giancarlo Senzi's voice oozed contempt and the expression on his face corroborated the feeling.

The lieutenants barely hid their smiles. The hatred that Raphael felt for his father returned with force. He’d always felt a little guilty about feeling it. He had to respect his father, as well as his chief, but he couldn’t deny that he’d had a visceral detestation for this man for a long time. He remembered when he was about to be sent to a reformatory school. He couldn’t remember the cause. Only it was just after his mother’s death.

He managed to keep a cool attitude with the mocking thought of "If you knew who I’m fucking”. His smiled faded when he thought the correct sentence should have been in the past tense. Leo hadn’t even wanted to shower with him. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t soon slip under the sheets with the handsome teenager.

He made an exasperated gesture, which everyone interpreted was caused by the paternal commentary.

The conversation ended and Raphael gave brief orders. One of his lieutenants had been more insistent than the others on finding the search for the heir and the need to further investigate. Raphael decided he’d be next to die.

The rest of the week had the same routine. He went to classes to please Leo, although he felt more and more out of place there. Then he ate with Leo and Mikey. The black haired teen then left and Raphael stayed with Mikey.

In addition to having to keep him amused, Raphael had to continually undergo the mockery and indiscretions of the blond about his feelings towards Leo. For example, "What do you find sexiest about Leo? Or worse "Have you done it? Leo’s a good lover? "

The boy was more relentless in getting answers and never stopped asking unless Raphael satisfied him. Of course, he fiercely refused to give any intimate details. Raphael welcomed Leo, like he was a savior, when he arrived at around 4 p.m. Leo drank his tea and they then trained.

Raphael only lived for that moment, hating to immediately leave for meetings after. He wished time was suspended in the Dojo and that the sparring match, the unique form of head-to-head he could get with his beloved, never ended. The naked body, shining with sweat from the other boy attracted him like a flame does for a moth.

Leo couldn't avoid his physical contact in the Dojo and Raphael was determined just as much to avoid the cold blade of the katana, as he was to have his friend's athletic body under his own using his much higher weight. He only wanted to remove the sword, to crush the body that was so desirable on the tatami and to caress it, until the other male surrendered. It was incredible that he was able to follow his lessons because he was so distracted by Leo’s attractive physique.

On the fifth night, after congratulating him more warmly than usual for his perfect mastery of a kick, Leo warned him that he’d almost reached Donny’s level and it was unbelievable.

"You’re progressing at an extraordinary pace, Raph. It’s too bad we don't have time to spar tonight."

Raphael frowned. He’d been waiting for it all day and being deprived of it at the last moment shocked him. He’d also planned after plucking up the courage to ask Leo if he wanted to watch a movie with him that evening. He’d managed to fulfill his responsibilities in the morning, so he had the whole evening free.  Well, at least until 10 p.m. Then he had to visit his friend, who made the armor. What he wanted was ready and he couldn’t wait to don his armor, get on his new bike and to try the new toys.

But he’d mainly planned on seeing a movie with Leo and that what was what had filled with hope all day. Mikey had still taunted him about him loving Leo and he dared not do anything about it. Raphael had planned to press Leo’s hand for a moment, while Mikey sat on the other side of his big brother. It wasn’t a suggestive gesture and he couldn’t imagine Leo recoiling from the little display of affection. Learning that wouldn’t happen and having spent the day planning the evening in his head, was like a slap to him.

"Why? We won’t be longer than usual, Leo?” Raphael queried.

"I have a date," Leo said nonchalantly.

Without thinking, Raphael growled, “With whom?"

Blue eyes stared at him in astonishment and Leo said, “You went home without asking questions every night. Why are you questioning me?”

“I managed to get a free evening tonight!” Raphael roared. He left for “business” and not for romance. It wasn't the same thing.

Leo narrowed his eyes and said, “Oh! And I should change my schedule to suit yours? We see each other four hours daily. I’m going out tonight. I don’t have to justify myself to you. I’m your Sensei and not your boyfriend!”

Green eyes blazed and Raphael gritted his teeth, refusing to leave the Dojo without knowing Leo where Leo was going.

"With whom?" Raphael asked again.

It felt like a dagger had pierced his heart when Leo said coldly, “I’m going out with Elena. We’re going shopping to see what I’m going to wear to the Valentine’s Dance next week. Then we might go see a movie.”

“And Mikey? Are you going to have fun and leave him alone? Did you count on me to take care of him? Because I sure as fuck won’t play babysitter, while you’re fucking someone else!” Raphael spat. He didn't give a damn about his "someone else", telling that all of it was a jealousy tantrum. He was far away from denial, now. 

“I have Miss White from the apartment below. She agreed to watch over Mikey for a few hours," Leo replied icily.

“You’ll leave your brother with a stranger?” Raphael said indignantly.

Raphael knew he was being ridiculous. He was almost a stranger as well and not the most advisable. But he couldn’t help using every possible argument, even the meanest, to keep Leo with him. His disappointment was so strong and all he could think about was his goal, as he tried to use his logic in a desperate need to spend a few more hours with the beautiful teenager. He didn’t even listen to Leo’s sarcastic answer. An idea had hit him.

Raphael grabbed Leo’s wrist, as he donned his blue T-shirt on which the word ‘Fearless’ was written in white.

“Hey, Leo. You won’t back off from a small challenge if you’re fearless, right?”

Leo heaved an annoyed sigh and said, “Anything to stop this ridiculousness!”

“You’ll spend the evening with me if I win the match.”

Leo blinked in confusion. Then his mouth curved into a mocking a smile. “You think you can beat me?"

"Why not?" Raphael answered sharply, insulted. "You said I was good, right?"

Leo made a soothing gesture and said, “You’re excellent for a beginner, Raphael. I’ll grant you that, but I’m a Master. I retain each of my attacks when I teach you. You can’t beat me under any circumstances. If you persevere with this art and rigorously train, maybe you’ll beat me in a few years’ time. You could beat a lesser experienced person than me. But tonight’s impossible. I am and will always be better than you.”

Raphael got into a fighting stance, his hands up, and said, “Come back here, pretty boy. You deserve a lesson in humility.”

Leo sighed wearily and muttered, “I can’t believe it.” Then he unsheathed his katanas and added, “You’re obsessed with wanting to give me lessons of humility! But you’ll have wanted it. I have no time to lose and you seem determined to have your ass kicked, rather than letting me leave.”

Raphael tightened his grip on the weapons. He was beginning to feel confident with them. He’d asked his friend to get him another set, but he wanted the points sharpened. He was keen on his idea of a dual purpose for his weapons.

The match was brief. Raphael was stunned and disarmed after a series of movements. Leo straddled his lower abdomen, smiling mockingly, and pinned Raphael’s arms down.

“I don’t feel more humble than before. You should review your teaching methods, Raph."

Raphael bit his lip. He wouldn’t look even more pathetic by being a sore loser. Leo suddenly moved his pelvis and rubbed his lower abdomen against Raphael’s. Then he lowered his face to be mere inches from Raphael’s and leant on his arms that still pinned him down. Raphael felt Leo’s minty breath and froze, like a mouse in front of a boa.

“I know why you're doing this, Raphael," Leo whispered.

The inflection of the last syllable thrilled Raphael, sending tingles down his spine. Leo brought his face to Raphael’s, as if he needed to increase his fascination, and said, “I must say that’s adorable, but it’s also sad. Sadorable. But if it can serve as a source of motivation, here's what I propose. I’ll give you what you want if you beat me once.”

The blue eyes conveyed boldness, while the tempting lips were only a hair’s breadth from Raphael. With one simple, imperceptible movement, he could have kissed the young man above him.

“What do you know about my wishes?” Raphael asked.

"Don't you want that?"

To put more emphasis on the "that" in question, Leo repeated his suggestive movement of the pelvis.

"No.”

Raphael’s voice was only a gurgling sound, his throat constricted by the desire he was trying to stem.

Leo frowned, genuinely astonished. He released Raphael's arms and stood up, a little embarrassed.

"I thought ….”

Raphael grabbed his arm and said, “It’s not that. I want a second chance.”

The blush covered Leo's pale cheeks. He turned around to hide his expression from his friend, pretending to put on his shirt and to wipe his face. Raphael’s answer had obviously taken him by surprise. It was a relatively rare phenomenon and Raphael decided to use his advantage and to question him.

“So? Are you scared, Leo?”

He was right. Leo was just as proud as him.

"No,” Leo said. “But start with training before you have such ambitions! See you tomorrow!"

Leo strode out of the Dojo without looking at Raphael, who didn’t know what to think.


	11. The Nightwatcher

Raphael showered for a very long time, as much to manually relieve himself after his close contact with Leo, as to try to get him out of the shower by going back to get his stuff. He wanted to tell him something, but he didn’t want to say the words in his head. Dwelling on them was useless and wasn’t something he had to think about. He just had to instinctively say how he felt like he did with everything he did. He raced up the stairs. He’d wait for Leo, even if he was still in the shower. He needed to hold Leo close.

He knocked on the door and an old, sullen lady opened it and blocked the entrance way. He mumbled a greeting and glanced behind her to see if he could see his Sensei, but all he saw was Mikey’s freckled face.

“Hey, Mike!” Raphael exclaimed, a little happier than was necessary. “You can tell Cerberus to let me inside. I want to talk to your brother!”

Mikey's, whose mouth was full of potato chips, said something unintelligible.

Raphael anxiously asked him to repeat himself.

“Leo’s gone dude,” Mikey said. “He took a bag of clothes and left, saying he’d shower at his destination. He appeared to be in a hurry and told me that he might not return tonight.”

Raphael felt like his heart had been ripped out. He turned on his heels and hurried downstairs out into the cold, feeling the harsh icy wind stung his face. He suddenly remembered he’d forgotten his keys upstairs, but he absolutely didn’t want to return to Leo’s apartment. He didn’t to face the old crone, Mikey’s surprised expression, and the harsh reality.

Leo had rushed off, headed to fuck Elena in her shower and then to go shopping for clothes for the damn dance. Leo would spend the evening with her in her pink duvet. Never had a thought caused him such heartache. Thinking about his mother hurt, but it was a sad nostalgic pain. Thinking about his father filled him with frustration and helpless pain. But the pain he suffered thinking about Leo was infinitely greater. His whole being burned as if a corrosive acid had been injected into his veins.

Raphael walked home without a coat, too consumed with jealousy to feel the bitter cold and too tormented to worry about it. The mental pictures of Leo embracing Elena and kissing her haunted him, igniting his fury, like a red flag does to a bull.

He kicked his back door down in rage when he got home. Leo would have been proud, Raphael though. It was ironic because it was a perfect kick, but what was it for? To take an interest in your lover’s passion, so you can spend time with him and he can be proud of you and to improve to protect him? Raphael was up to the neck in shit, killing his men, equipping himself like a fucking hitman worthy of Marvel and then disposing of the bodies every night to protect him! Leo didn’t know what he was doing for him and Raphael was wondering whether he should stop, because what interested Leo was between Elena’s thighs.

He should stop his fall.Permanently. He could get rid of Leo and place his bloody flesh at his father’s feet. His obsession would then be finished and he could resume a normal life. And his father would be proud of him. His father then couldn’t deny that Raphael deserved to be the New York representative and he wouldn’t look at Raphael contemptuously anymore and say that he was just a brainless weapon.

After unleashing his frustration and rage on everything he could break, Raphael fell apart and wept. He knew he didn’t want to kill Leo or even his little bitch ex, but he needed something to make him feel better. Cocaine was out of the question because he didn’t want to lose his mind. He held his head in his hands and took deep breaths to calm himself down. He had to learn how to manage his emotions on his own.

He thought about other options that could make him feel better. He rejected the idea of calling Casey. His friend wasn’t a genius, but he was also far from stupid. It wasn't so much because Leo was a boy that Raphael wanted to hide his feelings for him, but more because he desperately loved someone, who obviously didn’t return the feelings.

Texting Leo was out of the question. He sighed and chose to text "Armor Man." It was only 8 p.m., but he was restless. He needed to hold the weapons and to ride his motorbike. The bike had been delivered that morning and the keys were on the table. He knew a bloodbath would give him a great outlet for the rage that consumed him.

He got a jacket from the closet and heard his cell phone vibrate. He picked it up, thinking he’d received a text from the gunsmith, saying that it wasn’t ready. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw the message was from Leo.

“ _Hey, Senzi. I’m sorry for leaving so quickly. I had something urgent to do. We can start the training earlier tomorrow if you want. From 1:30 p.m. to 5 p.m. to make up for today.”_

Impulsively, Raphael typed, his fingers going faster than his thoughts, “ _I’ll be there at noon. Send me a sexy picture of you in your new shirt.”_

Raphael looked at his message, not believing it. What had possessed him to make such an unusual request?

I want him to spend at least one minute of his time doing something for me tonight, Raphael though. So he can think about me, even if he’s with someone else and I need to see his face.

 _“My new shirt?”_ Leo asked.

Raphael rolled his eyes, understanding that Leo found him pathetic. Rightly so, but another text arrived soon after.

_"Are you talking about the new shirt for Valentine's Day? I’ll do it of course. Give me thirty minutes.”_

Raphael narrowed his eyes, still riding his motorcycle, his black helmet in one hand and his cell phone in the other. Leo must be in a shop by now, right? How could he have forgotten what shirt Raphael was talking about? Hadn’t he gone shopping for it?

He calmed his suspicion. Leo had scored, showered and stopped at a restaurant. Too busy with Elena, he’d lost the thread.

 

Yet Leo had agreed to send him a picture and agreed to be there at noon tomorrow. Raphael planned on ending his evening with his beloved friend much later than five p.m.  With renewed optimism, he donned his helmet and started his bike.

Lying down on the roof, Raphael patiently waited for Vincenzo, his target. His helmet had night vision goggles, as well as being completely closed and masking his entire face. His shot would be as perfect as it would be incognito. He adjusted his sniper rifle, knowing that his victim would leave the garage, where he and his and his pals were playing poker. Raphael would leave his corpse there. He didn’t have to waste time with discretion because everything eventually became known. Only the assassinations of the opposing clan had to be publicized as well in order to divert his gang’s attention on Leo. It remained to be seen if Leo's clan would react.

Raphael thought about Leo’s picture, which had been sent thirty minutes after their conversation. Leo was in an unfamiliar environment, wore a tight black shirt and had left the top two buttons unbuttoned. His hair was disheveled and his cheeks were slightly rosy as if he’d been running or been passionately making love to a seventeen-year-old nymphomaniac. His smile was both mocking and seductive. Raphael’s fingers had tightened around the Glock’s butt at the thought of Leo tangled in Elena’s bedsheets with her. He moved his fingers to his belt, so he could answer the text.

_“Thanks for reminding me why I’m fighting, but you should try a bigger size. There’s still some meat on this skeleton.”_

_“It was supposed to be sexy, silly. My skeleton will still pin you to the mat tomorrow.”_

Raphael smiled at the memory. Leo was devilishly sexy in the picture. Even though he was busy, Leo had still taken time to send him a picture. “Thanks for reminding me why I’m fighting” had made Leo believe it was about the Dojo, but the real meaning was 800 feet away.

Raphael’s finger was on the trigger and he was steadily breathing. He was rarely nervous on these occasions for very long.

A silver flash suddenly deflected the rifle and ripped it out of Raphael’s hands. He immediately grabbed another weapon from his belt but didn’t press the trigger when he’d aimed it at the ghostly apparition.

A man dressed in black and who was the same size as he stood in front of him. The outfit covered most of his body and a thin scarf concealed his faces. Only his eyes, which were outlined with eyeliner, were visible.

A devastated Raphael quickly recognized that it was fucking Leo, who only wore a light suit and had no armor, weapons or protection! All he had were his katanas, as he played vigilante in the middle of a street that was controlled by the mafia, who wanted his skin! And he had to face a determined Leo, who’d seen his fighting position. Raphael felt dread. Leo was a stubborn son of a bitch. He’d stop Raphael if he was determined to. But was it Leo? Wasn’t he with his girlfriend?

As if to dispel the doubt to which he desperately clung, Leo spoke, his voice recognizable, despite the scarf. “So it’s you.”

Raphael knew that he was unrecognizable, because of his armor and his voice would sound like Darth Vader with the handset, but what if Leo did recognize it?

"Why aren’t you attacking me?” Leo asked.

Raphael had to reply and quickly, otherwise Leo would become suspicious. He had to find a good reason to convince him not to fight, so he could go home, where he’d be warmer and could drink his tea and curb his aspiration to be a superhero.

Then he understood. Mikey. He had a desire to know a masked vigilante before he died. It was noble of Leo, but he didn’t belong in the street. Raphael even preferred him being in bed with Elena than here. He had to talk and change his voice as much as possible.

“No. I have no reason to fight with you,” Raphael said. “You’re an innocent. I only kill the bandits."

“Oh! Are you a virtuous murderer? Who tells you that the Italian Mafioso isn’t going to change his ways? You’ll take away his chance of redemption?”

Raphael stared at Leo, taken aback. He was impressed that Leo knew who was in the garage, but he knew that Vincenzo wasn’t going to change. AT ALL. He had to make Leo understood that.

“Listen, Ninja Man or whatever name you go by,” Raphael said. “You don’t know the intentions of the guys on this street, okay? They’re dangerous criminals. They’re killers, thieves, concealers, drug traffickers and pimps.”

"I didn’t know that the Sicilian mafia also sponsored prostitution. It doesn’t matter what the men were like before. They can change.”

Raphael rolled his eyes at such naiveté and innocence. How could such a pure being, like Leo have been chosen by the Yakuza to lead them?

"Hey, katana bearer, Your intentions are cute, okay? But I don't think the guys down there will let you preach the good news. They’ll turn your pretty little body into gruyere, as soon as you open your mouth! How can you expect to face me and them dressed in black sheets?” Raphael paused to look at Leo and thought his outfight was indeed too light. Leo narrowed his eyes, but allowed Raphael to continue, which he did. “I don't deny that you're probably good with your swords, but we're talking about armed enemies, who can attack you at a much longer distance than your katanas. Do you think they’ll become honest men if they lose a dual with you? That’s not how it works, ninja.”

“I’m here for you and not for them.”

The voice was soft and silky. Raphael almost wondered if Leo had intended on seducing his opponent, rather than on confronting him with his sword.

"Why didn’t you shoot me if you’re such a badass? You didn’t, so maybe they won’t either."

Raphael nearly lost his patience, wanting to shake the naïve teenager and to say “Because I recognize you, silly, and I love you.” But he restrained himself and said, “I told you that I have no issues with you, ninja. Get out of my way and let me do my job.”

“Your job? So that’s what you do to earn money? Were you hired by the Russians to eliminate the competition? How much are they paying you?”

“Why do you ask? Do you want to pay me more to spare the Yakuza?” Raphael growled.

He understood he’d made a mistake. Leo was strictly speaking not Asian, other than the swords and the suit. His eyes were slightly almond-shaped, but the irises were undeniably blue. Kohl enhanced the color. Raphael would have liked Leo to have removed his scarf, so he could see what he looked like. He was undoubtedly sexy enough to die for, but now wasn’t the time to think about that.

“Why do you think I’m involved with the Yakuza?” Leo asked. “I don’t care about the victims’ nationalities. I’m here to prevent crime in all of the camps. The money’s from me.”

Raphael thought about how determined Leo was to stop his vendetta and not about wanting the money because Leo wasn’t wealthy. He lived on his cousin’s charity.

“Nah,” Raphael said. “I don’t want your money. I’m not doing this for payment.”

“What are your motivations then?”

Raphael decided to answer truthfully. “They did something to someone I love and they’re threatening someone else. I don’t want to lose them too.”

Leo was silent for a moment, as he digested the news. Then he said, “My father was shot by a Sicilian gangster, but despite that, I still love someone, who’s of Italian origin.”

Raphael weighed the words. Leo was undoubtedly talking about Elena, but he still hoped Leo was talking about him. He said in a softer tone, “I think your act of forgiveness is very noble and beautiful. You’re a good person and that’s why I didn’t kill you. Donate your money to a hospital for children or to a drug rehabilitation center, okay? There are other ways of spreading your ideas of forgiveness, redemption, and charity than wandering down streets and risking your life.”

Wanting to demonstrate that he was still determined, Raphael moved to pick up his rifle. He hoped he wasn’t too late and his target hadn’t left. The katana blade blocked his path.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Leo said. “Until you share my point of view.  We’ll fight with weapons if necessary.”

Leo’s voice was cold, calm and as smooth as a guillotine blade and Raphael felt like he was forced to fight against his wills, which was usually his favorite activity.

“Will you leave me alone if I beat you? Will you go home, take off your centenary disguise and go to bed?"

“I promise, but you must also go home without casualties.”

From the twinkling in the eyes, Raphael guessed that Leo was smiling mockingly and condescendingly, which he hated. He hesitated a moment. He had several options.

He could shot Leo in the knee. Just enough to make him let go. But he refused to hurt him, not even in the slightest. The only knives he had were the sai. But would Leo recognize him with these weapons?  Raphael reluctantly took them out of his belt.

Leo was briefly confused. Then he said, “Why Sai?”

“I don’t want to kill, idiot.”

“You could have used the Glock. It doesn’t matter.”

This took Raphael by surprise and he said, “Hey there, ninja. I’m sure you’re fast, but you can’t avoid so many bullets. Stop thinking you’re immortal. You’re not.”

“I know I can avoid the bullets if I want to and if hits me, it’s because I wanted it to.”

Raphael lost prudence in his amazement at the reply and blurted out, “You clearly aren’t listening! Don’t you have a little brother at home?” He quickly added, “Or a little sister, who needs you? You surely have at least one member of your family, who loves you, and also a lover, who madly adores you. Don’t say such bullshit! And try to avoid bullets in your living room, okay? No streets. That’s the best chance of success.”

Leo said nothing and started the fight. Raphael had never seen Leo so fast. He seemed to be everywhere.  Shit. He thought he even saw Leo fly. Leo had been right when he said he’d been easy with him in the Dojo and slow. He couldn’t parry all of the blows and he soon found himself on his back, Leo’s katana at his throat and Leo neutrally regarding him.

“You lost,” Leo said. “Go home.”

Raphael raised his hands in a gesture of submission. He wouldn’t be able to get anywhere tonight, but now that he was warned about Leo, he knew how to avoid him and he certainly would tomorrow night. But if he avoided Leo, how would he protect him? The idiot, who’d be happy with his ideas, and as impressive as he was, would be riddled with bullets and dumped in an alley.

“Okay. I’m going,” Raphael said. “You won for tonight, Ninja man.”

“I’m not Ninja Man. I’m the Ghost.”

Raphael rolled his eyes at what he thought was a childish nickname.

“Okay, Ghost. Still, you need more equipment and something woolen under your black tinsel. Its forty degrees tonight, but you should stop now. You saved a life. Drink tea and toast to the guy’s life and be happy with this small victory. You won’t be so lucky every day.”

Hearing this, Leo rolled his eyes and said, “What are you? Robocop?”

Raphael glanced at himself. His suit was entirely black and it wasn’t robotic. Nobody was supposed to see him. Shit! And now he needed a supervillain identity. He thought about his role. He sought out gangsters every evening, stealthily watching them and Leo so that Leo couldn’t stop him and he could protect Leo. He wasn’t a bad guy either. He needed a name that wasn’t too threatening so that Leo understood that Raphael was watching over him in the shadows.

“Nightwatcher,” Raphael said.

Leo crossed his arms and said, “So, see you tomorrow night?”

“Tomorrow, Ghost, although I think you’d better stay at home.”

Leo was gone before Raphael even realized it.

Raphael waited for a moment, ensuring he was alone. He glanced down. Vincenzo was on the sidewalk with some stooges and was smoking a cigarette. Raphael adjusted the rifle and fired.

 

 

 

 


	12. Memories

Raphael woke up with a headache. As if he needed it, the situation had become even more complicated. He’d eliminated Vincenzo and the three men with him. He’d used his silencer, but he couldn’t take any chances and wait for the potential victims to be alerted.

He’d escaped via the opposite fire escape and had sped off on his bike, taking detours through the city to avoid being followed. He’d arrived home late, hidden his suit and weapons in the garage and had gone to his bedroom, feeling drained after his mental fight with Leo. He’d soon fallen asleep.

He probably wouldn’t have gone to his classes if he’d had any that day, but seeing that it was Saturday, he could be a little lazy. The first thing he did when he woke, instead of popping Advils, was to look at the photo of Leo in his black shirt. He couldn’t believe the dumbass had been playing vigilante on the streets like an actor from the movie “The Last Samurai”! He had to do something to stop the madness. As much for Leo as for him. Leo’s desire to fulfill Mikey’s wishes at the risk of his integrity was poignant nobility. Okay. Leo was a knight in the Middle Ages because he was heroic and pure, but that wasn’t a reason to allow him to do such risky shit.

Raphael remembered his promise or rather that of the Nightwatcher’s to the Ghost. Leo no doubt would be angered by his perjury, but he’d deal with it. After all, everything Raphael did was for him and Leo would someday learn about it and would be moved that he’d done it all out of love for him, right?

Raphael didn’t want to think about the future. It was 9:45 a.m. now and he’d be at Leo’s house in just over two hours’ time. It still amazed him how much he yearned to be around Leo and how strongly he felt about him.  Raphael was sure Leo wanted him too. The problem was that Raphael didn’t only desire Leo physically. He coveted him completely. He couldn’t bear Leo being touched by Elena or whoever. He also wanted to know everything about his lover and didn’t want Leo to keep secrets from him or put distance between them. Raphael needed Leo to admit they were “together”, although they couldn’t tell anyone. Raphael was dying to be intimate with Leo and to have the freedom to call him, to talk to him, to touch him and to kiss him whenever he wanted without fearing a bad reaction. He’d never wished for something as simple as caressing a hand or a thigh, while he and his partner watched television.

Raphael needed to express his desire for a deeper connection. Subtlety, restraint, and half-measures weren’t his way. He understood that Leo had been hurt when he’d kicked him out of his room, but Leo had to get over it. Raphael would get on his knees to beg for forgiveness if Leo asked him to. His beloved might no longer feel the need to be a nocturnal vigilante if Raphael displayed enough passion. Leo was reasonable. They’d be friends at school and a couple when they were alone. He was ready to spend all of his free time with his boyfriend and no longer do the fiesta every night. They could go on outings, appearing as just friends, to restaurants or for walks and nothing would stop them from holding hands in a dark cinema.

He needed to convince Leo about how important a romance between them was. He had a plan. He was first going to get dolled up. Yes. He’d wear his damn Ralph Lauren sweater. He’d buy everything he needed to cook delicious meals throughout the weekend, which would delight Leo and his brother’s taste buds. He planned to make a Bolognaise sauce for lasagne and to leave it gently simmering, while he trained. Leo wouldn’t dare to kick him out before he’d eaten that scrumptious meal with them, right?

It’d be tough to immediately leave after dinner. He planned on being romantic after it, but didn’t want to use clichés’. He wanted to sit in the dark with his beloved and hold hands, while they watched a light romantic comedy and not an action movie or one with superheroes.

Then, when Mikey was in bed, he’d tell Leo and would do it on his knees if he had to. As mean as Raphael was, he couldn’t live without Leo, who’d come to occupy his thoughts and had become so important to him in only a few days. He hadn’t touched the powder in almost a week, being too addicted to his new drug, which was significantly more addictive, because it was harder to get. He’d tell all of this to Leo, but in a more poetic way. Yeah. Poetic, as pathetic as that sounded. He’d waited for the attention and surely Leo would melt like butter, right? He’d then take Leo in his arms and would tenderly make love to him and…

His vibrating cell interrupted his thoughts and he grimaced when he saw who it was from. It didn’t bode well. Summoning up his courage, he read it.

“I’ll be back on the 15th after I’ve sorted things out since you’re not up to it.”

Nausea bubbled in Raphael’s stomach. He couldn’t say anything. His father wouldn’t change his mind, even if he tried assuring him he was in control of everything. His father’s reaction was to be expected because he’d liked Vincenzo. Raphael tried to calm down. He had to assassinate some Purple Dragons that evening to divert attention. His father didn’t believe in an illusion, like a so-called dangerous heir, when a real threat, like his clan’s decimation by a stranger and not differentiation among the Mafia, was occurring. Nobody would accuse a Yakuza leader of killing his men, right? And yet, wasn’t that what he was doing? He was eliminating his men out of love for the enemy. Damn. That was material for a damn Hollywood movie.

He decided to dismiss these thoughts. He’d spend the day with Leo and he would exhaust him in order that Leo won't play super ninja that evening. Leo should not go out on any pretext because if he’d wanted to protect Raphael’s men, no doubt he’d be even more determined to defend his own. An excellent bottle of Italian red wine might knock Leo out. He’d better buy two bottles.

Raphael checked the time again. His day dreams were delaying him from getting going. He showered for a long time and took time to make himself presentable, which was rare. He threw his sports clothes into a bag, grabbed some ingredients he needed and noted what he still had to get. Then he studied the state of the house. He needed to get a housekeeper in before his father arrived. The man was already ill-disposed towards him and he didn’t need to further displease him. Raphael then left.

He had a shock at the market when his credit card was refused for a paltry sum of 160 $. Raphael had never experienced such humiliation before. Looking around and wondering how he’d pay for it, he understood. His father knew all of his numbers and codes and he must have asked for his balance and list of his transactions posing as him. His father was undoubtedly peeved with his colossal spending the previous month. Raphael had always been a squanderer, but he’d been worse since he’d known Leo. He had coupons at his house, but he didn’t have time to go there. He pretended to call the credit company and call Casey.

Casey had often borrowed money from him over the years. 20 $ here and there. Raphael had loaned more than $4000 to Casey in the past two years alone. Casey asked him for money about twice a week. Raphael had never been worried about getting his money back before that day. He wouldn’t ask for the entire sum. Casey couldn’t do it. Therefore, he only asked for $200, so he could pay for his purchases.

Casey was surprised by the unexpected request and warned Raphael that he didn’t have all of the cash right now, but he would in an hour or two if Raphael was prepared to wait.

Raphael’s nerves were frayed, due to the humiliation, his anger with his father, his anxiety of maybe not being able to buy everything he wanted to spoil his lover and of being late and losing valuable minutes with his adored. He therefore lost all caution and blurted, _“_ I don’t have the damn time to wait. Leo’s waiting for me.”

His eyes flew wide, as he realized his stupidity, but it was too late.

“Leo Hamato?” Casey said in astonishment. “On a Saturday morning?”

Immensely angry with himself, Raphael lashed out at someone else, as usual. Furious, he snapped, “Shut up, Jones. You always ask me for money and I never ask you questions. I need two hundred bucks in five minutes. I don’t have time to leave my groceries, go home, come back here and pay. It’ll make me lose almost forty minutes and it’s already eleven fifteen.”

“Okay, Raph. You’ll have your cash in five minutes, but on one condition.”

“Fuck you, Jones. I never gave you any conditions!” Raphael hissed. “I’ll pay you back. What’s your problem? I thought we were friends!”

Casey said coldly, “Exactly. I don’t want you to pay me back on Monday. I want you to tell me the truth. I don't know what's going on with you, Raph, but there's something wrong. I want to know what at lunchtime on Monday.” Not being interrupted by any fierce denials, Casey’s tone changed to a friendlier one. “I’m worried about you, man. I mean, more than usual.”

Raphael sighed in exasperation. He could tell his best friend on Monday when it’d be more official. Casey didn’t like gossip.

“Okay, Casey,” Raphael said. “I swear. Give me the cash.”

280 $ was in Raphael’s account five minutes later. He didn’t know how his hockey friend was able to manage it, but all that mattered was that he could pay for his purchases and two bottles of wine.

He left the liquor shop, where he’d bought two Sicilian merlots for Valentine’s Day and passed a florist, who’d beautifully decorated her store in honor of it.

Laden down with parcels and bags, Raphael hesitated for a long time. Although he wanted to buy Leo something to show how much he was cherished, he doubted flowers would be welcomed. He wouldn’t have hesitated if it’d been a girl, but he didn’t know how to woo a boy or what to buy him.

Love was mostly demonstrated with gifts for Raphael. His father had bestowed lavish gifts on his mother. Raphael had often heard in his infancy that the other gangsters’ wives, who weren’t as well off, envied his mother. Yet he knew his mother hadn’t been particularly happy. He’d never had an example of demonstrative love and was unskilled and awkward with words. He’d speak with his heart, but uncertain that it was enough, he preferred arriving with many gifts, thus being better received.

He entered the shop, feeling extremely embarrassed. He’d last touched a flower at his mother’s funeral. He’d never bought any for a girlfriend. He’d ordered tons for the party, but they hadn’t been directly offered to Leo. Choosing a bouquet for him was therefore tricky. Raphael only knew a few things about Leo’s tastes.

On the other hand, Raphael thought he’d noticed that Leo hadn’t been impressed by the extravagance of the flowers at the party. He remembered the handsome boy’s room. The style was immaculate and in softened cold colors. Fashion didn’t flourish in Japan, he presumed. Only the bed was spectacular with its width. Six people could easily have slept in Leo’s bed and he must feel very lonely in it! But it was only a matter of time before Raphael would be there to keep him toasty.

Raphael nearly jumped out of his skin when an employee asked if she could help him.

“Are you looking for a bouquet for your girlfriend? We have a special on roses.”

Flushed, Raphael shook his head and said more rudely than was necessary that he wasn’t looking for cliché flowers, like roses. The saleswoman immediately backed off. Tormented, Raphael looked at everything, but nothing seemed right for Leo, especially the aggressive red of the roses. He needed something fresh that Leo might like.

Then he found another section that was less striking. There was an assortment of plants in green and cream shades and decidedly Asian. It immediately captured his attention. He didn’t know much about botany, but he was almost positive that it was a bamboo plant and the long, tall leaves covered a kind of foam-like plant that nestled on a bed of pebbles. A panda could have had a small breakfast on them.

Raphael thought it was refined and more importantly, unisex. Also, the price was in his budget. Anyway, even if he’d had 2000 $, he wouldn’t have bought a more expensive plant, because such an extravagant gift might have offended Leo. He remembered when he’d said that he wasn’t a “whore”. He picked up the plant and went to the checkout till, where the employee squinted at his choice.

Sensing the woman’s judgement, who thought it was for a young girl, Raphael felt obliged to justify himself aggressively, as well as awkwardly.

“It’s for one of my friends, who had a skiing accident, okay? Do you get what the bouquet of ‘Good Restorations’ means? You do, right?” he spat in a mixture of anger and nervousness.

The saleswoman shook her head in fright.

Raphael noticed a promotion on the counter. A white tea scented candle was half price if one spent over 50 $ of flowers.  He remembered that Leo had candles in his room and that he liked tea. Raphael smiled. Leo could think about him when he lit it. Or better yet, they could make love by its light! He blushed with pleasure at the thought and refrained from buying a dozen for the excellent reason he no longer had enough money to do so. He paid and ran to his car. It was twelve minutes to noon and knowing he was late, he didn’t want Leo to wait a second longer.

He arrived at Leo’s place and studied his purchases with a touch of confusion. They clearly spoke volumes about his intentions.

Raphael suddenly felt very nervous. Had he done too much? Would Leo feel assaulted and offended by such a showy solicitation? After all, the official goal of his presence at Leo’s home was for a ninjitsu lesson. He’d earlier invited himself over, using the false pretext of cooking for them. Still, he was happy that Leo didn’t know how to boil water without burning down the building and that Mikey was a gourmet.

He rang the doorbell, feeling anxious, and having dropped at least one packet onto the floor.

“Hellooooooo?"

Mikey's voice was weird.

"Mikey, it's Raphael."

Strangely, the beep that meant the door was unlocking didn’t occur. The blond kid was always eager to do it. Concerned, because of Mikey’s unusual behavior, Raphael tried to act calm and to continue.

“I don't know if Leo told you,” Raphael said. “But He’s advanced our lesson today.”

He still had no answer. Shaken, hysteria then completely overwhelmed Raphael and he said, “What are you playing at, Mikey? You know who I am. Open up and let me in.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Raph. Leo’s not well.”

Even more panicked, Raphael demanded explanations. He told himself that Leo must have stumbled upon a gang on the way home after his nocturnal escapades and that the gang had beaten him up. He cursed himself for not following Leo and watching over him. Or maybe Leo had caught pneumonia, because he hadn’t worn warm clothing. That’s what we earned playing heroes, Raphael thought bitterly.

“He’s hurt, Mikey?” Raphael asked. “He’s ill? Open the fucking door or I swear I’ll throw your PS4 out of the damn window!”

The threat hit home, because the buzzer went and the door opened. Weighed down with packages, Raphael had thought about taking the elevator, but he didn’t have a minute to lose, so he chose to run up the stairs, four steps at a time.

He almost broke the door down, as he tumbled into the apartment.

Raphael dropped his groceries onto the floor and shook Mikey on whom he’d fallen. “Where is he, Mikey?”

“In his room, but don’t enter it. He’s been meditating for more than three hours. He does that when he’s very, very angry or upset. You’d better forget the training session today. Don’t give Leo weapons when he’s in this state. He already wanted to cut off one of his fingers earlier today!”

Raphael nearly fell over and placed his hand on his heart. “Mikey, why would Leo cut off his finger? It doesn’t make sense!”

“I don’t really know the custom,” Mikey said, shaking his head. “The men in Leo’s family chop off their fingers when they fail to remind themselves or something stupid like that. Leo’s a great dude and devoted to honor, tradition and all that. I don’t know what happened yesterday, but he’s been like that since he heard the news.”

Raphael’s eyes narrowed, his face darkened and his hand tightened on his T-shirt. Damn. Leo was taking it all to heart too? Mikey was nervously running the bottom of his sweater between his fingers and he also appeared vexed.

“I guessed right about the finger,” Mikey continued. “I saw him take the knife and go to his room! I said I’ll do whatever he does too. It cooled him down. I don’t understand what he has. My brother’s a god in almost everything he does, as long as it’s not in a kitchen. Why does he suddenly feel devalued? It hurts me. Leo’s lucky he’s healthy. I don’t understand why he beats himself up and believes he has to submit to that bullshit!”

Guilt overcame Raphael, as nausea bubbled in his belly again. He now knew what was happening. Leo had seen the man, whose life had been promised to be spared, murdered, along with the three others. He must blame himself for it. Raphael felt dizzy and sank into the nearest chair.

Raphael didn’t think Leo would take the little addict seriously, but that complicated everything. Blood would certainly flow if the Ghost still crossed the Nightwatcher. Not Leo’s blood, but his own.

It wasn’t so much that he feared the pain, but the fact that the Ghost was probably suspicious that his opponent was only defending himself without any real riposte. He’d want to unmask him and if he learned that Raphael and the Nightwatcher were one and the same, Raphael could kiss goodbye any possibility of romance and even just camaraderie between them! Leo would only hate him and feel the utmost contempt for him and he couldn’t bear it! Still, he had to continue his evening work for Leo’s sake, he had to avoid the Ghost at all costs and also not to arouse his father’s suspicions when he returned.

“Are you going to see him now?” Mikey asked anxiously. "I'm worried.”

Raphael didn’t answer. He got up, took a bottle of Merlot from the bag and put it on the counter. He searched for a corkscrew, opened the bottle and poured a glass of wine. He sipped it, appreciating its strong taste. It’d be difficult boosting Leo’s morale when he was primarily responsible for his feeling like a failure.

It’d already taken all day for him to think of sentences they could use to declare their feelings. Talking about love to Leo, even if he was happy, gave him butterflies and now the circumstances couldn’t be more unfavorable. He wondered when he could utter a soft word and could give him the flowers.  Like “Hey, Leo. All men are bastards and jerks and you can’t do a damn thing about it. Don’t trust anyone! Oh, and by the way, here’s a bouquet.”

It’d go badly. They were real star crossed lovers. Raphael drank more wine. He needed more bravado.

He headed to Leo’s room and opened his door. The room was bright, but Leo had closed all of the curtains. He sat shirtless on the floor, his eyes closed, a few candles around him. A few more and Raphael might have thought he was interrupting an occult ceremony. The soft glow of the candles was reflected on Leo’s pale face and highlighted his masculine features: his perfectly sculpted jaw, his sensual curved lips, and his nose. He was so still and didn’t even appear to be breathing.

His eyes didn’t open when Raphael entered the room and as he approached Leo, Raphael saw that his chest was gently rising and falling, proving that he was breathing well. This stillness made Raphael feel very uncomfortable. He knew nothing about meditation, but he thought it was too deep to be healthy. The long black lashes that cast their shadows on the top of the cheekbones didn’t even shudder.

He knelt down next to his friend. Raphael didn’t know what etiquette to follow in this case. Did waking someone, who was meditating, cause the same consequences when awakening a sleepwalker? He decided to be careful.

He made his presence known by making slight noises, as he sat down and unfolded his legs. Then he breathed in and out, so that Leo would hear him. Seeing that it didn’t bring him out of his trance, Raphael opted for contact He cupped Leo’s cheeks with his hands, stroked his face, and tenderly murmured, “Hey, Leo…”

The blue eyes immediately opened and looked at him sharply. He said nothing, but slowly lifted his hands to remove Raphael’s hands. Raphael seized Leo’s hands in his own and almost convulsively pressed them to communicate his desire to make Leo feel better.

“Stop doing that,” Raphael said as gently as he could. “You’ll hurt yourself.”

Leo said evenly, “I’m not hurting myself. I meditate, which is a healthy habit and a civilized way of handling the stress of modern life. You should try. It won’t harm you.”

Seeing no resistance against physical contact, Raphael plucked up courage and kissed one of the hands he held. “I’ll try if you want to show me how, Leo, but I think you’ve spent enough time alone in the dark for the moment. Mikey’s worried and bored and you should eat something. I went shopping and bought groceries, with which I can make almost anything. I’ll cook something for you. You just have to tell me what you’d like.”

"Raphael,” Leo said dryly, but with an expression that was more tormented than irritated. “You’re here for training and not to cook. You’ll have training. You’re right. Letting off some steam will do me good.”

Grimacing in slight discomfort, Leo moved his neck and removed his hands from Raphael’s to massage his neck, which appeared sore.

“I’m a little stiff. It’d be appreciate if you can make Mikey a sandwich, while I shower to release the tension in my muscles. Then we can move on to your ninjitsu lesson….”

Raphael interrupted him by raising his hands in his direction. He was burning to touch his lover and jumped at the chance. “Wait, Leo. Let me do it.”

Without waiting for permission, Raphael slipped behind Leo and kneaded the young man's neck. He was afraid for a brief moment that he was rebelling against familiarity, but Leo surprisingly lowered his head and sighed.

While gently using his thumbs in a circular motion to Leo’s stiff neck, Raphael bent down to whisper into Leo’s eyes, feeling that he couldn’t raise his voice in such an atmosphere.

“Leo, let me help. You don’t have to be alone in the dark, because of something. The little one needs you…”

He only briefly hesitated. He’d come to declare his feelings after all! Raphael continued, ensuring his words were heard, “And me too. I need you.”

Leo’s body tensed, but he said nothing. Encouraged, Raphael kissed the black hair near the temple, while sliding his hands to Leo’s shoulders to continue the massage. Not receiving a negative reaction, Raphael was motivated to move forward. Even in his most optimistic scenarios, he hadn’t thought it’d be this good so quickly.

Raphael’s hands kneaded Leo’s shoulders more forcefully and he continued raining light kisses onto Leo’s head. The kisses then moved to Leo’s neck. As he alternated between kissing and nibbling the clavicle, Raphael anxiously wondered if he was moving too fast. Fuck the questions. He’d been dying for over a week to taste Leo’s flesh again and he’d have been crazy not to take the opportunity when Leo had offered himself without resistance. He heard a shaky breath, but he wasn’t sure if it was his or his lover’s. The flavor of Leo’s skin was addictive and mixed with the candles’ woody aromas. Strangely, it was his painful erection that brought him back to reality. He hadn’t come for sex. At not least not before saying what he needed to say.

He turned Leo around, so they were face to face and stared intently at him, as much to judge Leo’s feelings, as to assure him of his seriousness. The blue eyes were dark, because of the lack of clarity and dilation of the pupil. Their expressions were unfathomable. Raphael had the impression that, although the eyes were fixed on him, they didn’t see him. It was as if he had the consistency of a ghost and Leo saw through him.

It was as if Leo didn’t want to look at him and pretended to. Leo’s mind was far away and Raphael didn’t know what to do. The realization hurt him. Leo escaped through the spirit, demonstrating his desire to remain close to his attempts to open.

Raphael dug his fingers deeper into Leo’s biceps, hard enough to cause a bit of pain. This caused Leo to shift his gaze onto him for a brief moment.

While staring into the blue-steel eyes to make sure of Leo’s consent and to try and read him, Raphael gently lifted Leo’s chin and brought Leo’s face close to his to capture his soft lips. To his immense relief, Leo’s mouth opened like a flower. Raphael savored the tongue against his own and pulled away before he was tempted to kiss him again.

“I need to tell you something,” Raphael said in a deep voice.

He was cut off by the look of sheer panic in Leo’s eyes and blinked in confusion, his mouth agape. Leo took advantage of his bewilderment, quickly stood up and began walking away from Raphael as fast as he could, as if he had the devil on his heels.

“Later, Raphael,” Leo called over his shoulder without turning around. “I have to go see what Mikey’s doing and give him his medicine.”

Raphael was too amazed to reply. He hadn’t expected that to happen. He sat on the floor and thought about what had happened. Everything had started so well. His lover had passionately returned the kiss, so why had he acted like that when Raphael had tried to treat him with romanticism and consideration?

Leo obviously suspected what was going to follow and if the kisses and sexual caresses hadn’t shocked him, the imminent statement had frightened him. Raphael tried to understand why. Once someone had admitted that they were attracted to a person of the same sex, the worst shock is over, right, Raphael thought? Leo seemed comfortable with his sexuality. Their bodies perfectly responded to one another’s, so why not their hearts? Why did the idea of a physical relationship with Raphael upset Leo?

Leo had been the one, who’d started it all with his little psychological games, gaining more and more space in Raphael’s subconscious, gradually appropriating his heart and mind! He must have expected it! His goal from the start seemed to be to drive Raphael crazy! Why did he run? Leo had been offended when he’d kicked him out after their passionate evening. Raphael had deduced that Leo had felt cheapened and used and now that he was going to confess, there was nothing more wrong. Leo had taken the time to escape! Was he mistaken about Leo’s feelings? Had he been too abrupt? He’d never been so tender, sincere and patient before. What was the fucking problem then?

Raphael sighed, feeling discouraged, and stood up. Leo at least no longer seemed so angry with himself and wasn’t thinking about the Nightwatcher.  But he was now less optimistic about the progress of the party. He regretted buying the plant, presuming he’d be even less well received than he’d first feared. He was walking on thin ice, even more than he’d thought. He had to step back a bit, otherwise Leo, feeling stuck, would run away. And he didn’t want to lose him.

Then he heard Mikey screaming from the other end of the apartment. “Oh, Leo. It’s probably for you. Raph’s nice to have gotten it for you.”

His cheeks as red as a tomato’s, Raphael entered the living room, ready to deny that Leo was the intended recipient of the pretty arrangement. Leo was sufficiently disturbed by the expression of his feelings, without further terrifying him.

"No, actually, it's ...” Raphael began.

Leo turned, the flowerpot in his hands, his cheeks rosy with emotion. The blue eyes appeared tender, making Raphael’s denial die on his tongue.

“It’s for both of you,” Raphael continued.

Leo quickly turned away, shouting that it was charming and since it was for both he and Mikey, he’d put it in the living room, so they could both gaze upon it. Raphael followed his lover, who chatted to hide his embarrassment, while he nervously tried various places to put the arrangement, so it could receive the best light. Raphael’s hot, passionate gaze followed Leo to the counter, where he was opening drawers and looking for scissors to cut off the cellophane wrapping. He came out of his trance when he caught Mikey’s unimpressed stare. Mikey’s voice conveyed his disdain for Raphael’s masquerade.

“For both of us?” Mikey said. “Dude, I’ve never heard anything so dumb and coward.”

Raphael blushed and though Mikey had whispered it, he pressed his hand to Mikey’s mouth and told him to shut up. “Shut up,” Mikey,” Raphael ordered in a low tone. “He’s not ready. I told him how I felt and he took off!”

He had no choice but to remove his hand, despite the malicious look in Mikey’s crystal blue eyes, because Leo returned looking happy, but also suspicious.

“Are you all right, Mikey?” Leo asked.

Instead of immediately answering and mocking himself like a worm to further mortify Raph, Mikey victoriously handed the white tea scented candle to his brother.

“Look what else there is, Leo,” Mikey said. That is certainly for you alone.”

The emphasis on “alone” and Mikey’s sharp gaze challenged Raphael to pretend otherwise.

“It was half price, so I took it just in case someone liked that kind of thing,” Raphael stammered in embarrassment.

Leo remained impassive for a moment and seeing his blushing friend, he smiled graciously. “I use a lot of those. Thank you. I love its smell.”

Raphael was delighted after hearing his lover’s tender thanks, while Mikey rolled his eyes.

“I hope I won’t ever be in love, so I don’t look ridiculous,” Mikey mumbled loud enough for the others to hear.

Leo stammered something and hurriedly left the room, holding the candle and obviously pretending to put it in his room.

Raphael’s mood darkened, seeing his lover’s discomfort again and grunted at Mikey. “You’re lucky you’re sick, kid, and that you’re Leo’s little brother, because I’d break your face otherwise.”

Mikey smirked and said, “You can do that and never know why Leo seems so scared when you talk to him about love.”

This attracted the hothead’s attention. He didn’t beat around the bush and demanded, “Spill the beans, Mikey.”

“Oh! Not now. It’s too much fun to watch,” Mikey said and laughed.

Sick or not, Raphael would have shaken the boy until he confessed, but Leo returned. He was calm, but his eyes were downcast when he addressed his little brother. “Mikey, I’m going to make sandwiches. Then Raphael and I’ll train. You’ll come with us and will bring your tablet to keep you busy.”

Mikey protested that it was boring, but Leo was inflexible. Raphael’s heart sank. Leo didn’t want to be alone with him.

Disappointed, but also not wanting to suffer from indigestion, Raphael said, “Leave it. I’ll take care of it. I don’t want to train with food poisoning!”

Blushing, Leo lowered his head in a gesture of acquiescence.

Raphael mumbled something intelligible in response and gestured for Leo to stay away from the kitchen.

Raphael grabbed a chopping board and a knife and sliced tomatoes with his head bowed. Finding that it wasn’t enough to hide his tears of frustration, he let down his hair, so that it hung over his face.

Friend. A good friend, Raphael mentally told himself, as he furiously bit his lip. He didn’t care about being a good friend. He wanted a lot more. He demanded everything from Leo. Not just his sympathy, but also to hold the handsome male and to receive everything he could give. He wished his lover couldn’t live without him, because he felt lost and incomplete when he was far away from Leo. His goal seemed very far off.

He continued cutting the tomatoes and made quite a hack job of it, his mind not focused on the task at hand. He had to stop making himself look ridiculous. He had to move on. He had to forget Leo and to choose someone else. He’d never been rejected before, but he’d witnessed several of his friends’ many seduction attempts. They’d been rebuffed. For example, Casey had courted April for eight months before receiving a kiss. And he still hadn’t romped between the sheets with her. You could say he was lucky. Leo had shown little resistance before and had yielded to carnal pleasure, but what he’d always found most desirable in a relationship suddenly seemed insignificant. Having Leo in bed gave him no rights or leverage over him. He was essentially out of reach and that filled Raphael with despair.

That was his sad reflection, having put the finishing touches to the meal preparations, without realizing the time spent in doing so. He suddenly heard Mikey’s high pitched voice, which was bordering on panic.

“Stop, Leo!” Mikey said. “You know that scares me. You’ll hurt yourself.”

Anxious, Raphael went into the living room carrying a tray and saw his lover, who appeared to be watching the television. Mikey was looking at him, his blue eyes brimming with tears.

Raphael looked at the television and saw that the report on the recent wave of violent crime targeting other criminals seemed to have captured Leo’s attention. Feeling anxious, Raphael placed the tray onto the coffee table and approached Leo to look at the expression on his face that had seemed to frighten his little brother.

He didn’t have time to say anything, because to his immense panic, Leo collapsed on the ground and seemed to be convulsing, his eyes rolling back in his head. Raphael felt his stomach tighten into knots.

“Shit! What’s happening? Does he have epilepsy?” Raphael barked, as he crouched down by Leo’s side, his heart pounding.

Mikey shook his head, his eyes filled with fright. He squealed, “Call Cousin Donny. His number in Japan’s on the fridge. He’s our doctor and will know…”

“I’m not calling a weird pervert on the other side of the world,” Raphael said firmly, trying not to become hysterical. “We don’t have time for that. I’m fucking calling nine-one-one.”

Raphael grabbed his cell phone and was about to dial the emergency number when Leo regained consciousness, his blue eyes fluttering open and looking very pale. He asked what had happened in a murmur.

Raphael had been too afraid of Leo’s collapse to restrain himself. How could he punch or shoot bodies every day and sometimes mutilate them without feeling anything and not flinching, but he lost his damn mind over a fainting spell? He didn’t know, but it didn’t matter. He never wanted to experience such fear again. And he didn’t want Leo to worry about his crimes. The Ghost had to disappear off of the streets and sheath his katanas. His lover, like he’d sensed, was too pure to be on the streets and to fight crime. The hypersensitive being, naturally following ideals of another century, must remain far away from his daily life. He didn’t want Leo’s innocence to be corrupted and he had to make Leo understand that.

Raphael pointed at the television and said resolutely, every word as cutting as a scalpel’s blade to the jugular, “It’s over, Leo. You’re not watching this damn news anymore. You have too much faith in humanity and seeing others’ filth upsets you unnecessarily. Man is wolf to man. Haven’t you understood that yet?”  Raphael paused, both to take a deep breath and to allow Leo to digest the phrase. Seeing that he had Leo’s full attention and trying to remain calm, Raphael said, “You must you accept that there are bastards in this city, who deserve death and other bastards, who make that their work. You’ll stop torturing yourself by looking at this useless crap. You spent all morning running around for something you couldn’t stop, okay? There’s fate and fatality. You can’t fight that. It was those guys’ turn. Nothing more. It’s not your business to worry about that scum. It’s not your world.” Raphael paused, letting his words sink in, and added, “Take your cousin’s money and do good with it if it can make you feel better, Leo. But stop trying to prevent the evil from doing its work. It’s futile. I don’t want to see you suffer because of that any more. You’re better than them.”

Raphael stopped to gauge the effect his words had on his lover. He’d never spoken so much and he knew for once he’d been almost eloquent.

Leo’s periwinkle eyes looked at him despondently and he said, “You’re wrong, Raphael. We’re all equal and…”

Raphael silenced him by placing a finger to his lips, curbing his desire to use a kiss instead to stifle any protests. Then he removed his finger and said tenderly, “How about we talk after you’ve eaten? I made that for you.” Raphael pointed at the tray, carelessly ignoring Leo’s interpretation of the term "for you". He continued, “You and Mikey eat. Then you’ll lie down, Leo. I’ll take care of Mikey. We don’t have to train or anything. You rest. Not with meditation, but with an actual nap, okay?”

Leo shook his head and stubbornly said, “I’m fine. Stop treating me like a baby. I had a moment of weakness. It can happen to anyone!”

Mikey moved closer to his big brother and held him in his hands with a naturalness that Raphael envied. “Leo, you should call Donny,” Mikey begged, looking at his brother with big puppy dog eyes.

Raphael was annoyed. He didn’t exactly know why, but he loathed the Japanese cousin. To his immense frustration, Leo stood and declared that was a great idea. He dialled a number and Raphael jealously deduced that Donny must have answered the call, because Leo immediately began to talk in a language, which Raphael presumed was Japanese.

Leo headed to his room a few moments later to continue his discussion in private, which greatly displeased Raphael.

“Why did he go to his room?” Raphael asked crossly. “It’s not like I understand anything.”

Mikey took two huge bites of his sandwich, chewed, and said, “You don’t, but I know enough Japanese to know just about everything Leo said. He taught me.  He left, so I didn’t understand the rest.”

Raphael was immediately intrigued and said, “Go ahead.”

Mocking blue eyes stared back at him, accompanied by the mischievous smile that Raphael had learned to fear.

"What do I have ...?” Mikey began.

Raph cut him off, tired of the boy’s blackmail and said peremptorily, “I’ll spit on what I’m making you to eat and you won’t know if you don’t tell me! And the threat of throwing the PS4 through the window still stands.”

Mikey shuddered in fear and disgust and said, “In short, Leo talked about the crimes in New York. I don’t know what Don said, but my brother told Cousin Donny that he doesn’t want to live on his island. Donnie offered to buy Leo a deserted island for them to live on. They often discuss that. Don said Leo’s legacy is too heavy like his and that they should run away together.  I guess Don mentioned that again. It must be at least a hundred times he’s mentioned it, even though Leo still refuses to go with him. D’s a very persevering guy.”

Raphael’s muscles tensed and he asked for more info. It’d be over his dead body if Don thought he’d get Leo.

Mikey continued, “Leo protested that he’d do the job alone, that he was capable of it and that his mission was on the right track to success. He told Donny he didn’t need his army or weapons. Donny must have argued, because Leo accepted his point of view. My brother’s very tough to convince. He’s a hell of a pig head. Don’t let his handsome face fool you.”

“And?” Raphael asked in agony, hanging on to his words. An army, Raphael thought. And what mission? The control of the city or that of the heart of Raphael Senzi, who was number two of the most influential criminal family in New York? He remembered the accusations of the old Sicilian. If it became known that the Chief Yakuza had led him to the baton, he, his father and his entire clan would be discredited. Moreover, with the recent decimation of his family, it’d be easy to do the math. Raphael would be recognized as the viper in their midst and that he was biting out of love for the enemy. His life would be over. If Leo played a double game…

But he couldn’t believe it. Leo seemed to be pushing his advances. If he’d seduced him to break his clan, he’d have accepted, right? He’d have accepted his declaration of love. Unless this was a dirty reverse psychological maneuver or shit like that!

Mikey ate his dessert and pulled him out of his thoughts by saying in a conspiratorial tone, “Do you want to know why Leo’s scared?”

Raphael needed a logical explanation. He was going crazy with all of his assumptions.  Anything that could ease his troubled mind would be welcome. Plus, if anyone could be honest, it was Mikey. Raphael gestured for him to continue.

“It has something to do with Leo’s father,” Mikey said. “He’d met a beautiful woman here. He came more and often to New York to see her. He was madly in love with her, but she was married and had a child. He wanted her to get a divorce and to follow him to Japan. Leo needed a brother after his best friend had left. And he never saw me. My brother’s father couldn’t live without her. She was gorgeous. Stunning, like a Hollywood movie star. Black hair and green eyes. Leo showed me her picture. She had everything that could cause a man to lose his mind, even a serious and thoughtful guy like Leo's father. She’d promised she’d get a divorce. She was unhappy with her husband. He was violent or something.”

Without understanding why, Raphael was suddenly overcome with apprehension. He wanted the kid to shut up, but he also wanted him to continue. He had a headache.

Seeing that Raphael was listening to him, Mikey continued, “I don’t know what happened. We don’t know if it was a trap or not. Leo’s father called him to tell him he was coming home with his new stepmother and a little brother. My brother was happy. He’d felt so lonely since Donny’s departure. Still, the woman’s husband surprised Leo’s father, Yoshi, as he lay in bed with her. So he never saw him. I mean the little brother by marriage.” Mikey paused, absolutely oblivious to his interlocutor’s pallor. Seeing that Raphael was still listening, like no one ever had before and swollen with self-importance, Mikey said, “The husband of Leo’s mistress was a famous Italian Mafioso. It was already terrible, because there was bad blood between the two families. I don’t know why. He killed Yoshi. But we have no details. Donny’s father figured it out with what he knew. He looked for his friend’s lover, but she was gone with her son. It’s unclear if the gangster’s wife deliberately got caught and attracted Leo’s father by promising to leave with him, but since then Leo’s been wary of illicit love affairs. If someone doesn't like him enough to agree to be in broad daylight with him, he won't consider the relationship serious and won’t invest in it.”

His hand on his heart, Raphael felt like he was hyperventilating, as memories hit him like a freight train. Memories he’d buried. That the reformatory had eradicated from his memory. Immersed in his inner toil, he didn’t see Mikey’s dismayed look.

“Whoa, dude!” Mikey said anxiously. “We don’t need syncope. Do you want me to call Leo? You look like you’re about to be sick!”

“No. I think I’ll go home.”

“Why? You were so eager to see my brother,” Mikey said worriedly.

But Raphael wasn’t listening anymore. In his mind, he saw the dragon rolling, moving forwards and backwards. He now understood his fascination with the one on Leo’s back. It was the same as the man, who’d been his mother’s friend. She’d told Raphael that they would soon leave with the man. Raphael loved him very much. He had a benevolent smile and serene eyes. They’d told him that there was a brother waiting for him on the other side of the world. The man had told him that his son was very lonely and that he was kind. And he was no longer happy.

Leo was the promised brother.

Raphael distinctly remembered everything now. He had liked to spy on them through the doorway. His mother had finally looked and sounded happy and he’d seen the Dragon. He remembered the heat that had filled him when he’d gazed at them.

Then a hand had tugged him backwards.

Two detonations.

A slap to stop him screaming.

Red.

No longer tolerating the violence of his reminiscences, he pushed a concerned Mikey away and vomited into the sink.


	13. Give me a week

"Woah! Raph! Are you okay, dude? You can't accuse my brother of poisoning you. He didn't touch the food!" Mikey tried to joke.

Raphael continued to throw up, while holding his hair with one hand and not caring about reassuring the boy about his condition. What could he tell him anyway?

The promised Leo's little brother was him and he’d just remembered that his father had shot Leo’s dad, killed his mother and had then pointed the gun at his own son’s forehead, threatening to kill him if he didn’t forget everything he’d witnessed. Something told Raphael that would frighten Mikey even more. In any case, Raphael was unable to adequately state how he felt. He’d scream if he opened his mouth now.

His father had killed his mother. He’d always known that, but his memory had refused to allow him to dwell on it and to replay it in his mind, only letting him presume it. He’d heard innuendos. Johnny had talked about it again before his death.  Raphael didn’t know how or why he’d forgotten about it.  Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? The electroshock of the recovery house? Or just time? But he’d so far managed to conceal the extremely painful memory, so he could stay as mentally healthy as possible.

Too many emotions and memories overwhelmed him, hitting him like a freight train. Feeling like he was being suffocated by them, he couldn’t breathe. He tried hanging on to doubt, because he knew if that if his father had killed his mother and he was threatening Leo’s life that he’d also kill him.

Raphael shivered. He was a cold-blooded killer, but as much as the victim deserved his fate, parricide’s a crime that one never considers committing coldly.

Raphael gratefully accepted the glass of water Mikey handed him and used it to rinse out his mouth. A concerned Mikey watched, as Raphael then picked up the open bottle of red wine, poured himself a glass and drained it in one gulp.

“The woman,” Raphael began with difficulty. “She must be stunning. Your story sounds like a Shakespearean one. I’d have liked to have seen what kind of creature can arouse such burning passion.”

Relieved that his brother’s friend was finally speaking, Mikey shrugged and said, “Ask Leo. He keeps the photo in his drawer. He likes to look at her to remember dark stuff like ‘Don’t trust anyone. Beware of love’. Mikey had said it in a spectral tone to make Raphael smile, but seeing that it’d failed, he continued sadly, “My brother’s a masochist. Don’t you see? He likes to torture himself emotionally. I don’t understand why he does that. There’s been enough drama in his life. Firstly the stuff with Donny and then his father’s murder. His father was probably betrayed by the woman he loved. Then there’s my illness and….”

“Don’t say that!” Raphael snapped.

Mikey jumped at Raphael’s vicious tone and said in astonishment, “What? How sick am I?”

“No! You know nothing about the woman, okay? She might have been honest and loyal,” Raphael said vehemently. “She might have been sincerely in love with Leo’s father. She might have really wanted to leave her abusive husband for him. You have no idea. We mustn’t slander the dead, even less the ladies.”

Mikey’s eyes widened in amazement and he nodded. He hadn’t expected so much respect from a brute like Raphael seemed to be.

“Oh, sorry, Raph. I didn’t want to hurt anyone.”

Raphael closed his eyes for a moment, trying to control his emotions. He had to calm down. The kid had nothing to do with it. He was merely repeating what he’d heard and using his vast imagination to interpret the rest.

“No harm, Mikey. It’s not your fault,” Raphael whispered, rubbing his forehead.

Never had articulating seemed so arduous before, his tongue feeling as heavy as cement. He held his head in his hands, stunned by all that was going on. The silence stretched and seemed to unsettle the boy, who broke it.

“But you understand Leo a bit now, right?” Mikey asked. “You have no chance with my brother if you can’t even tell me that the bouquet you bought is for him!”

Raphael was at a point where, for the moment, his passion with Leo was second in his concerns. He poured himself a second glass of wine.

He walked to the living room, where the photo of Leo’s father hung on the wall to conceal his anxiousness. He studied the photo and without being striking, Leo’s features being more delicate, Leo resembled him. How could he have forgotten his mother’s friend? He didn’t know how many times he’d seen him.  Certainly, not more than five times, because he’d been in school the rest of the time, but he remembered the magnetism that had emanated from him. The same one that radiated from Leo.

Raphael, like his mother, had been attracted by this, like a moth to the flame. She’d told him that they were leaving with the man and he’d been relieved. Happy. Instinctively preferring the Japanese man to his father.

Giancarlo Senzi could never have recovered from the affront from his wife, whom he’d outrageously spoiled, and who’d publicly left him for an enemy clan leader. No one in their macho milieu would have sided with the woman, who’d hidden her bruises and her broken heart under her dressmakers' dresses and her furs.

Raphael realized that he was squeezing his glass too tightly when it broke in his hands.

"Raphael?"

Leo's worried voice made him turn around. Leo had just come out of his room and seeing his dismayed expression, Raphael guessed that his cheeks were wet due to his tears. Unaware of Donnie’s precious light gray carpet that was stained with red wine and seeing the cut on Raphael’s hand that had been caused by the glass, Leo asked his brother to bring him the first aid kit.

Raphael let himself be, obsessed by his lover’s focused expression, as he stitched his wound. As if he needed it, he felt that his love for Leo and his desire to protect him had grown, because of the revelation. Leo, like him, he thought, was an orphan, having lost his father in the same love drama that had made him lose his mother. All of it was his father’s fault. Raphael knew he had to avenge the crime and quickly.

Raphael’s father, knowing that Leo, the son of his wife’s lover and his son’s lover, existed wouldn’t let him live a second longer, even if he wasn’t the yakuza leader. All of New York would be after him. The fact that Leo was also the announced heir of their rival clan, made it a personal vendetta. His father would put a high price on his head. Raphael had to stop him.

In the same way, if his father disappeared, nothing would stop Raphael from appearing in public with Leo if that’s what the handsome young man wanted. Then he wouldn’t have to worry what others thought about it. But his hands were tied right now if he did nothing. The sons and daughters of many of his father’s “friends” attended the same school as him and they’d probably be happy to tell their parents that little Senzi was playing on the other side. Research on his boyfriend’s identity would immediately be undertaken and without blinking, Leo would be cold-bloodedly murdered and he’d be next.

No. He couldn’t give his beloved public recognition for the moment, but it’d only be for a few days. He watched Leo heal him with passion. He understood why his mother had been ready to leave everything to follow his father to the other side of the world.

Leo shook his head when the cut had been cleaned and bandaged. Mikey had been frightened by the blood and had left the kitchen.

“Raph,” Leo said. “I don’t know what you’re thinking about, but forget about it….” Leo allowed a minute to pass. Then he sighed at his friend’s relaxed expression and said, “Can you hold your sai in spite of the pain?”

"Yeah", Raphael mumbled, slightly embarrassed that he was swooning over him.

“You should stop drinking. You can’t get drunk and stay….Elena’s coming over, uh, after training.”

Raphael raised his eyes and stared intently into Leo’s. Leo’s gaze being impenetrable, he couldn’t discern whether it was a lie or not. Leo certainly wanted to get rid of Raphael to play vigilante again that evening. Whatever the cost, Raphael had to stop it.

"Oh yeah? And will you go on your date if I beat you?” Raphael asked sarcastically.

Leo gazed at him condescendingly and said, “I don’t understand why you want to stay here so much. If it’s for sex, you….”

Leo was unable to finish his sentence, because Raphael quickly pressed his lips to Leo’s. Then he backed away, grabbed Leo’s hands in his and said, “I love you.”

Now it was out in the open.

"Raph," Leo started, a hint of menace in his voice, firmly trying to get away.

Raphael tightened his hold on Leo’s hands and said, “Give me a week, Leo…”

Leo raised an eyebrow and said curtly, “A week for what? To beat me? Impossible in such a ridiculously short time.”

“No. The Valentine’s Day dance is on the seventeenth, isn’t it?”

Leo’s face changed color and he pulled back, trying to free his hands, but he didn’t answer.

Raphael tugged on Leo’s hands to keep him close to him and pressed his body against Leo’s. Then, his lips close to Leo’s, he said, “If I ask you to accompany me to the dance instead of being Elena’s date, will you do it?”

“You mean…Uh, you and… Me?” Leo asked uncertainly.

Leo’s voice quivered. Raphael though for a moment that Leo was manipulating him and immediately felt remorse for thinking it. Leo was shaking like a leaf in his arms.

Raphael kissed Leo’s forehead and stepped back to look into the blue eyes to gauge the effect of his words.

"Yes. You and me. Together. Like a couple." he managed to say, despite his nervousness.

Leo stammered, “I’ll think about it.”

Seeing Leo so insecure, his cheeks red due to shyness and his eyes shining with emotion was refreshing. The bastard was often too sure of himself. Raphael was proud to be the cause of the emotion. He gently kissed Leo to calm him.

“I’ll wait for your decision,” Raphael said. He didn’t have time to say more, because Mikey shouted from the living room.

“Leo!” Mikey yelled. “My iPad battery’s dead. Am I really obligated to attend your training?”

“No, Mikey,” Leo said. “You can stay there. I’d prefer if you don’t come.”

Raphael smirked. Leo, no doubt, wanted to show him his “appreciation” of his statement. A long, hot afternoon of passionate and intense reconciliation sex on tatami mats was the order of the day.

Raphael’s smile quickly vanished, when Leo probably reading his thoughts, said, “It's gun training today. I don't want Mikey to see that.” Leo ignored his younger brother’s terrified squeak and his friend’s cadaverous pallor and said nonchalantly, “Do you have your two revolvers, Raph? Are you a good shooter?”

His mouth feeling like it was full of cotton, Raphael lied. He couldn’t state that he was a sniper and an extremely good one without arousing legitimate questions.

"Not too bad. You want me to teach you?" Raphael asked in a false casual tone.

What was he going to do if he taught the Ghost to shoot? He’d rightly want to shoot the Nightwatcher. He couldn’t respond and hurt him. But his lack of fighting spirit would arouse curiosity in his opponent. Raphael didn’t want to be unmasked. His plans had changed, but bottom line was that he had to ensure he had a clear place for his father’s return. What would he do next? No idea. He just had to shift the attention of the members of his clan from searching for the enemy leader. He was drawn from his thoughts by Leo, who gently shook his black hair.

“No. I don’t like guns and refuse to hold one,” he said firmly.

The blue eyes bore into his, piercing him to the bottom of his soul. Raphael returned his gaze, tinged with questions. Or did Leo want to come? He understood his disgust for weapons too well, but why wonder if he had his two revolvers?

His lover smiled a little more.

"You’ll shoot aiming at me. I’ve never practiced avoiding bullets with more than one weapon at a time. This is the perfect opportunity to advance my training."


	14. A new encounter with the Ghost

"Are you crazy?" Raphael shouted, his other concerns almost forgotten, "I’d never aim at you."

"Don't worry. You won't touch me, "Leo said nonchalantly, moving away.

Raphael grabbed his wrist, so that the overconfident boy looked at him. He felt a dizzying headache starting. The accumulated stress, the surge of emotions began to get the better of him. It wasn’t the right time to annoy him.

"How can you be so sure about this? You said it yourself. You've never tried with two revolvers at once. Then, unless I miss you on purpose, there is no chance that you avoid my double bullets. You have no idea what you're getting into and maybe it's time for you to get back in touch with reality, man. You're not a supernatural entity. How many times do I have to tell you that? You’ll fall if I shoot. End of story. And I won't do that."

Leo tilted his head to one side and stared at him quizzically.

"What do you mean by ‘how many times will I have to tell you?’ We’ve never had this discussion before, right?"

Raph bit his lip, angry with himself. His impulsiveness always made him say bullshit.

"I don’t know. I must have told you mentally.” Seeing suspicion still in Leo’s eyes, Raphael changed tactics, stroked his friend’s arm and spoke in a softer tone.

“Listen, Leo. We can only have a relaxing afternoon and evening, right? I thought about making a Bolognese sauce. You can watch a movie with your brother or play a game. We could look at family albums. I’d like to know you better. After, we can watch all Bruce Lee's old movie that you want"

This offer, although sincere, was mainly motivated by the hope of seeing photos of Leo's father and possibly his mother's to receive a final confirmation that the tragedy that had occurred wasn’t just a figment of his imagination.

Leo remained imperturbable and shook his head.

"It's impossible. My evening’s scheduled with Elena. I'm sorry, Raphael. You can either train with me, depending on the lesson I’ve chosen, or leave."

Incensed, Raphael shoved the black-haired teen and snapped, “That’s the choice you give me, you stubborn bastard? Either you kick me out, so you can be with your pseudo girlfriend or I shoot you? It thought it was my lessons. Not training that’d help make you a little Houdini and to defy death.”

Leo’s blood boiled. “Firstly, Elena’s not a pseudo girlfriend,” Leo hissed, his eyes blazing. “I thought the relationship with her seemed clear it wasn’t. Secondly, you won’t hit me with the bullets. And finally, I wanted to teach you how to throw the shuriken in exchange. You improved so quickly that I wanted to show you this art, which is reserved for elite ninjas.  Shuriken’s a human alternative to firearm projectiles. It surprises and can hurt slightly to make an attacker let go. It's an excellent tool to have in one’s arsenal."

Raphael held his head in his hands. His headache promised to be a severe one.

He imagined his Leo cornered in an alley, encircled by AK-47s and only having his ninja stars. He had to make Leo listen to reason before it turned out badly for him. He had to be firm to make Leo understand how important he was to him, so that he could understand his fear and his desire to protect him. He struggled to contain his panic, as he envisaged a piece of skin tattooed with a dragon covered in blood. Raphael pressed his lover’s wrist very hard to communicate his anguish and warned him in his most serious voice, while staring at him fearfully, terrified of losing his loved one.

“I don’t need to know how to throw the shuriken, Leo. A bullet in the head will make them let go much more quickly and it’s more efficient. I don’t give a damn about human alternatives. I don’t have to be human, because the others won’t be. They won’t give a shit about you, your ideals and your sweet ass won’t save you! You’ll be killed!” Leo stared at him in shock and Raphael continued, “You live in another world, Leo. I don’t know in what fairy realm, but it’s far from the reality of New York.  I want you to forget your project of being an ultimate ninja. Focus on us. And instead of unnecessarily risking your life in the basement with me, why not have a quiet and relaxing weekend and make plans for a future in which both of us will be alive? Why are you causing me needless suffering with Elena? We both know you don’t like her romantically! You don’t love her. She’s a beard!”

Raphael didn’t realize that his tone had gradually grown more threatening and was downright hostile when he’d finished talking. He knew he wasn’t expressing his feelings in a right way, but his fear that Leo might be harmed, his desire to stay close to him and his pain at the mention of the girl that he was jealous of had rendered him incapable of acting in a calmer and less aggressive way.

He found himself flipped onto his back in one swift movement, Leo looking down at him, his sapphire eyes stony.

“I can’t help you any more, Raphael,” Leo said coldly. “If you can’t share my philosophy, trust me and you don’t want to follow my teaching. The door’s there.”

Still stunned by the reversal of the situation, it took Raphael a few minutes to understand the contemptuous words Leo had uttered. Leo didn’t want to see him anymore.

Raphael opened his mouth. He’d have liked to have explained that his angry words had only been, because he was afraid of losing Leo, jealousy and due to the damn shock he’d received a few minutes earlier. He only wanted to protect Leo.  Shit! But where could he start to justify himself? He tried all the same and made a soothing gesture to his lover, while using his most tender voice.

“Babe…”

Leo waved his hand dismissively, cutting off his reply, and hissed, “Don’t you dare call me that! I was wrong believing I could change you. Forget about everything that happened between us. Anyway, Donnie must have jumped onto a plane by now. I have no time to lose and I won’t fight with him again for you! Farewell, Raphael!”

Mikey, who’d been quiet, as the scene unfolded, because he was frightened, tried to reconcile them. “Don’t be so harsh on him, bro! Raph just didn’t want to hurt you. I know you’re great at this and yet I wouldn’t have done it. This is just a misunderstanding. You fainted, it stirred him, he vomited his guts in the sink and….”

Raphael helplessly watched the blond kid defend him. He had no idea how the situation could have gone wrong. Leo was trembling with emotion and agreeing to think about his invitation one moment and they were fighting like cat and dog the next. It didn’t matter how sincere the boy’s pleading was, because Leo turned his back on them.

“I'll shower. Then meditate again,” Leo said without looking at them. “I hope you’ll be gone when I’m out of the bathroom, Raphael. We have nothing more to say to each other.”

Upset, knowing that he needed to hit something and that it was better for his own good to leave, so that Mikey and Leo wouldn’t witness the ugliness of his rage, Raphael turned his back. He grabbed his jacket and left before he exploded.

Raphael went home and swallowed three sleeping pills, taking them dry. Then he set the alarm clock for 10 p.m. and lay down in the middle of his train wreck of a room.  He’d watch over Leo whether he liked it or not.

 

Dressed from head to toe, he was returning from Chinatown. He could almost call himself a good guy, because he’d stopped an expensive amphetamine deal. He took the package and hid it. It’d be a peace offering to show that he wasn’t such a bad guy if he met the Ghost. But there was no trace of Leo, the Ghost right now.  Raphael wondered jealously if he was indeed on a date with Elena. Maybe Leo was warm under the duvets with her, while he was freezing his ass off.

He convinced himself that their rupture was temporary and excellent to console himself. He had his hands free at night and likewise, no one could see them together and would be suspicious of the kind of relationship he had with his supposed nemesis. Officially breaking up protected Leo. And then, when his lover was with him, his brain went to mush. He could only think with his libido or worse, his heart. Then he needed everything, apart from an excess of emotions.

He’d stealthily approached his gang’s neighborhood. Eradicating one more Sicilian wasn’t sensible, but he wanted to kill his father’s bodyguard to weaken his father. He knew exactly whom to kill. His beloved would then be out of danger. He’d do anything to win Leo back.

He was mulling that over, when out of nowhere a blade was suddenly placed at his throat. It was so close to it that he felt it through the kevlar.

“I was waiting for you. I knew that a lawless murder couldn’t resist murdering again and the call of blood!” the Ghost said.

“Figlio di puttana!” Raphael cursed impulsively.

The insult was uttered before he could think, revealing his nationality.

Raising his hands to show that he was disarmed, Raphael rolled his eyes. How could he have been surprised like a weak rookie again?

Leo, astounded, pulled back his blade half an inch.

“You have Italian origins?” Leo asked.

"It's not the call of blood, you fool," Raphael growled, avoiding answering the question. “It's duty.”

“No matter. Your duty ends now.” Leo's voice was glacial, like the one he’d used earlier to address Raphael. He told himself he had to win the Ghost over. Knowing that Leo didn’t hate him in one form would do him good

He turned to lose himself in Leo’s gaze. Leo was looking at him coldly, but with some underlying pain. It took all of all his strength not to caress the beautiful face and to remove the scarf that hid part of it.

“Listen, Ghost. I know I disappointed you the other day ...” Raphael said.

"You killed men,” the Ghost said, to show that it was something much more serious than a disappointment.

“You opened my eyes and I decided to redeem myself. I stopped a drug deal an hour ago. I kept the package, so you can see I’m not so bad. You can take it to the police. Then we can be partners when I’ve finished my mission in a few days’ time. We can protect the citizens from the bad people. Leave me alone for five days and then we’ll be partners. I’m a good shooter. I can cover your back.”

Leo shook his head and said, “I don’t trust you anymore. You’re only saying that because you’re at my mercy.”

Raphael snorted derisively and said, “So, what now? You, the advocate of non-violence, are going to kill me? And I'm not at your mercy, ninja. I can free myself if I want to.”

“Really?” Leo placed the blade against his jugular again. “I don’t think so. Anyway, I won’t kill you. I only want you to give me your weapons as a sign of surrender.”

Raphael laughed sardonically and said, “No fucking way….”

In one quick movement that’d been taught by Leo, Raphael broke the hold and was behind the Ghost, his Glock pressed into the small of Leo’s back.

“You see, Ghost? I ain't a sucker. One movement, one bullet and you’d be a paraplegic forever. Don’t worry. I won’t shoot and I won’t take away your shiny swords. I want to leave you something to defend yourself in case I’m not there in time to save your little ninja ass. Listen to me carefully….”

“Press the trigger.”

Raphael almost swallowed his mint flavored chew gum in shock at the words. “What? The cannon’s against you and my arms around your throat. You might be damn fast, but you can’t avoid it.”

“Maybe I don’t want to avoid it," the Ghost said darkly.

Stunned by how little Leo cared about his existence, Raphael tightened his grip on the gun and said irately, trying to hide his distress, “I warned you not to talk like that. Shit! There are phone numbers for that. You don’t have to be out on the streets to find death. People can help you.”

“Why do I have to insist on people killing me so much today?” Leo said ironically.

Raphael took a deep breath to try to calm down. Was that why Leo wanted to train? Was he hoping he’d kill him? Didn’t Leo know how much he mattered to him? Raphael knew what he had to do. He had to reveal part of the truth to help both of them feel better. He pressed himself harder against Leo.

“Listen,” Raphael whispered. “I’ll tell you a story. My mother was very beautiful, but my father treated her badly. She found a lover ...” Leo sighed contemptuously, but Raphael didn’t care. “He was a ninja like you,” Raphael said softly. “And had a beautiful blue and red dragon tattoo on his back. My mother loved him very much. She’d packed her bags to leave with the man. He had a son. My mother had promised me a big brother, because I felt lonely, but my father, who was one of those,” he said, pointing at the street, “knew it. He killed them in front of me and threatened me with the same fate. I spent my youth in a detention center for young offenders and I was tortured for four years and forced to be docile.” By the posture of the other boy, who’d almost stopped breathing, Raphael knew he had his full attention. He continued, “I want to avenge her death. See? But not only that. I met a very cute boy. I love him like crazy. My dad threatens to end his life. Let’s say that my family’s pretty homophobic, so I kill all the men for him, so that he lives and so that we can be happy together. But he doesn’t know that, because his heart’s pure like yours.”

Leo shook his head and he trembled like he’d done when Raphael had invited him to dance a few hours earlier.

“Surely you have someone, who loves you as much as I love the guy I’m talking about,” Raphael said. “Someone, who wants to protect you, like I protect my lover. I’ll ask you in place of him. Go home. Your life’s too precious and you have many beautiful years ahead of you. You’re young, skilled, compassionate and I guess you’re also cute, despite your awful outfit,” Raphael tried to joke.

Leo choked out a sob and said, “I have a brother, whom I love. He’ll die soon. He tries to hide it, but he’s growing frailer. He won’t last until the summer. I had the confirmation. I have to pretend that I don’t know that, so that he’ll keep fighting. I’ve experienced enough grief. I couldn’t recover from his death!”

Raphael’s heart broke and he blinked back tears. He hadn’t known Mikey long, but he was already attached to him. He hugged Leo more than he held him. He reproached himself for never having asked for detailed information about Mikey’s health after Leo’s meeting at the hospital.

Raphael pressed his lips to Leo’s ear and whispered, “Go home. Enjoy your brother. Hold on to the love of others. I'm sure someone else around you loves you romantically. Celebrate the happiness of being alive with this person. He’s willing to help you deal with everything. Let me finish my vendetta. Then I promise to help you play vigilante or to disappear.”

“No. I don’t believe in revenge. I can’t let you do it. Vengeance and killing are bad and don’t resolve anything.

Raphael sighed exasperatedly at his lover’s stubbornness. He raised his weapon and struck Leo at a specific point on his head.

The masked ninja fell unconscious into Raphael’s arms. Forgetting all prudence, Raphael took off his helmet that hid his identity and did the same with Leo’s scarf.

Raphael passionately kissed Leo’s cold lips, knowing he wouldn’t regain consciousness for several minutes. He couldn’t leave him in the cold night, Raphael thought, as he ran his hands through Leo’s locks and sniffed it. Raphael wasn’t often bothered by the notion of morality. Killing men was acceptable with his honor code, but making love to his lover when he was out cold wasn’t. And he didn’t want Leo to catch a chill and to be sick.

There was a hotel not far away that wasn’t too shabby. Raphael would leave Leo there without further touching him, regardless of how much he craved Leo’s pliant, warm and satiny body. It wasn’t too late to complete his mission.


	15. The paintball

Raphael woke up feeling sore at almost eleven. He’d been seen, targeted and thanks to the Kevlar, he only sported a few bruises on his, his arms and probably his back. There was no doubt he’d have been killed without his armor. Anyone, who might see him naked for the next few days, would ask questions, because the bruises resembled bullets marks. He bit his lip. There was no chance for Leo to him naked, except for at the gym. His handsome friend had certainly been furious with him and his meeting with the Nightwatcher the day before, which hadn’t gone well again and that must have soured his mood.

He thought about the previous evening again. Masked, he’d entered the motel, given 100$ (his last money) to the man at reception, asked for a room for his friend and asked him to provide him with everything he needed. Raphael placed Leo onto the bed, planted a chaste kiss onto his lips and left via the window.

Raphael’s temporary visibility had been imprudent, because he’d been spotted fairly quickly, but he’d prefer being hit by a few bullets than Leo catching a cold. Anyway, his marksmanship, his armor and his bike that was swift, as well as discreet, guaranteed him the last word.

He picked up his cell phone and saw he’d received no messages from his lover, like he’d feared. He sighed, but he wasn’t surprised. Mikey had told him that his brother was a pig head!

Raphael nonchalantly pressed the application on his cell phone to read the latest news and almost died of a heart attack.

“Gunmen shot all the staff and occupants of a motel in Brooklyn. Twenty-three dead.”

He didn’t need to read more, because he KNEW it was the motel, where he’d left Leo. He’d been seen entering the place and his costume had attracted attention. An enticing reward must have been offered to anyone, who’d denounce the mysterious murderer of the past week. His wanting to save Leo from danger had put him in danger. He had to cross one of the groups that were sent in as reinforcements. Leo, who was unconscious, because of him, hadn’t been able to defend himself from the bullets. Shit. How could he get out, even if he were conscious?

Panicked, Raphael repeatedly called Leo and left a ton of messages, while hastily dressing. Leo was maybe sulking or else….

“Leo, you can call me if you want, motherfucker. I don’t give a damn, but please answer me. I want to be sure that you’re well.”

He kept calling all the way to Leo’s house, while trying to follow the news on the radio, but his calls went unanswered. He saw a horrible image when he arrived at his destination.

A fire truck was parked by his friend’s building. Panicked, he rushed to enter the building when the firemen exited it.

He was imagining the worst scenario. Mikey, who’d woken up without his brother in the apartment, had called the emergency services. Raphael hoped for a miracle, although he knew that miracles didn’t occur for cold-blooded killers like him. On the verge of having an apoplexy, he shoved the door open with his shoulder and went inside.

He thought at first his mind was playing tricks on him when he saw Leo alive and dressed in peacock blue boxers and who was looking at him in bewilderment. But when Leo’s face twisted in anger, Raphael knew he was real. His heart swelled with relief and happiness and he thought it’d explode.

Raphael leapt at Leo, clinging to him like a lifeline, because he was fearful that Leo would evaporate and also because his knees were unsteady and he ignored Leo’s almost desperate attempts to break free. Raphael was aware that he wanted to suck his soul out of his mouth, but he didn’t care. Leo was alive and seemed healthy. He couldn’t believe it.

Leo finally managed to extricate himself from Raphael’s grip and looked at him in exasperation. “Raphael, you can’t come here without being invited.”

Raphael was beyond Leo's words and anger. He was alive and the rest didn't matter to him. His immense relief must have been apparent, because his friend gave him a questioning look, though the indignation burned as much in the beautiful blue-steel eyes that he’d been so afraid of closing forever.

Now that his heart had slowed down, Raphael realized that it was time for explanations.

“Why didn’t you answer me, Leo?” Raphael asked. “Didn’t you see how worried I was? Why were the firemen here?”

The questions were fired rapidly and frantically.

Leo waved his hands, urging him to calm down. “I slept with Mikey that evening. I came back late from my date yesterday. I’ve been up less than thirty minutes and I haven’t been in my room since last night. My cell’s there. And you? Why were you so worried? What did you fear was happening to me?” Leo asked coolly.

Raphael blushed in embarrassment. He had no legitimate reason to be worried, because, officially, he didn't know everything about the activities of the young man's watch. Only the Nightwatcher knew that Leo had been dropped off at the motel, where a shooting had occurred less than 45 minutes later.

Raphael tried to deflect the subject. “Why the firefighters?”

It was Leo's turn to blush. His younger brother, jumped up, smiled broadly and said, “You don’t guess, Raph? Leo wanted to make breakfast. He touched the toaster and boom!”

 Mikey pointed to a burned out and blown up toaster, like it was a quiz show prize.

Raphael's green eyes widened, stupefied. Was it really what he believed? He still didn’t know how his lover had miraculously survived a massacre and then he’d been knocked out by two slices of bread and a small electrical appliance. He’d have laughed heartily if he hadn’t been afraid of hurting Leo more.

Leo watched him, his eyes narrowed suspiciously, and said, not leaving the previous topic alone, “I’m waiting. Tell me why you were so anxious to come here?”

Rubbing the back of his neck, troubled, Raphael mumbled that their quarrel had shaken him. The blue-eyed young man said nothing and left the room. Raphael was alone with Mikey. The kid was grinning.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Mikey said. “Leo’s sometimes impulsive and proud. He wouldn’t have retraced his words, even if he regretted them.”

“Did your brother tell you? Did he regret? Did he talk about me?”

Mikey didn’t have time to answer, because Leo returned, holding his cell phone, an enigmatic expression on his perfect features.

“You were really worried,” Leo said. His eyes then fell on something at the level of under Raphael’s chin. “Your T-shirt’s inside out and back to front. You must have dressed quickly,” Leo added, a mocking smile on his lips.

Leo hesitantly touched the label sticking out of Raphael’s collar with his finger. Mortified, Raphael took off his leather jacket and also removed his black T-shirt, mumbling that a guy, who caused a fire by touching a toaster, had nothing to teach him.

Shirtless, Raphael was going to turn his T-shirt the right way around when Leo’s finger gently caressed his skin.

“What are these bruises? It looks like bullet holes from someone wearing kevlar to protect themselves?”  Leo asked curiously.

Raphael felt the anguish tighten his throat and blurted a lie, hoping it was convincing. “The paintball. I went there with friends yesterday.”

A lightbulb went off in his head. The improvised lie was THE solution.

"That’d solve our dilemma, right?"  Raphael continued enthusiastically, mentally feeling grateful towards himself for coming up with it. “You could train, but with paintballs. It’s the same, right? So I know there’ll be no ‘accident’. The little one could even come, right? He never goes out. Then we’ll come back here and you can show me your ninja star throwing if you still agree.”

He knew he’d played masterly when Mikey started jumping up and down, begging his brother.

Raphael saw that Leo didn’t totally buy his lie, but he had no choice. Mikey wouldn’t let him rest until he agreed. Leo asked Raphael if he wasn’t self-conscious about being seen in public with him.

Raphael grinned and said, “Not at all, babe. Anyway, we’ll be official in a few days, right? I told you that I only need a week or so to prepare my family.”

In fact, although Raphael believed what he was saying, he mentally vowed to be careful not to meet anyone he knew.  The owner was of the interior paintball was a friend, but not of those he feared. There was no chance that old Jim would tell the mafia that Raphael had spent the day with a handsome stranger and his little brother.

The uncertainty vanished from Leo’s eyes and he smiled shyly. He turned to his little brother to hide his emotion and said, “Okay, Mikey, but you have to promise not to run too much.”

Overflowing with happiness, the kid hugged Leo and then Raphael, who was strangely moved. He wasn’t used to demonstrations of affection that weren’t for a sexual purpose. He awkwardly returned the hug. Mikey then ran off to get dressed, leaving the older teenagers together.

Intimidated, or at least that’s what it seemed like to Raphael, Leo stammered he was also going to get ready. The demonstration of confusion immediately filled the chestnut-haired boy with male confidence. Cocky, he gave him a wink.

“Go cover your pretty body before I’m unable to resist it,” Raphael said. “You must dress nicely. This is after all our first real date. Don’t worry. I’ll make a real breakfast while you’re gone.”

Pinker than a peony and nervously running his hand through his hair, Leo murmured that it was a good idea.

They arrived at the indoor amusement center an hour later. A cursing Raphael noticed too late that he was still broke. Uncomfortable, he pretended he’d forgotten his wallet. Leo, with the graciousness of a great lord, dismissed his excuses with the back of the hand, protesting that with all the provisions Raphael had paid for, it was natural to return the favor.

They were about to go inside when a voice made Raphael jump.

“Raph?”

Panicked, Raphael turned around, although he recognized the voice. Embarrassed, Raphael greeted him. “Hey, Case! Hi, Ape.”

Casey, who’d only seen Raphael from behind, then noticed who he was with.

“You’re with Hamato, Raph?” Casey asked. “At the paintball center? Without me, but with his little brother? I thought paintball was our thing? Then yesterday, when you called to ask to borrow money, you were still going to join him…..”

Mortified, Raphael quickly cut him off. He didn’t want Leo to learn about his money worries. Not when Donny had so much money of his own. "Hey, Case! April’s your girlfriend, okay?" he declared as firmly as he could, despite his embarrassment. “You and I don't have a ‘thing’ together. Paintball’s for everyone. You don't have to be jealous! Mikey doesn't have much entertainment and Leo doesn't know the city. I thought it’d be nice. I don't have to justify myself, so stop your jealous boyfriend act already!" he decreed angrily.

Stunned by this violence, Casey made a soothing gesture and said, “Okay, old boy. Calm down. It’s cool. I’m a little bit surprised. You don’t usually spend your afternoons with your friends. Then Leo didn't tell me you were going to do anything together when I canceled the hockey game."

The spotlight on Leo, Leo shrugged and said, “Last minute decision.”

Raphael counterattacked. He wasn’t going to let Casey bombard his boyfriend with questions.

“Hey. We do what we want. Leo and I,” Raphael chimed in, hoping to end the interrogation. He realized that ‘Leo and I’ upset Casey even more, but April fortunately intervened.

“It would be nice if we all played, right? We went to the cinema next door, but the paintball will be a nice change. And since it’s your ‘thing’, Casey,” April said with a wink.

Raphael grumbled internally. He wanted to be alone with Leo, as much as one could be with Mikey and the other players at the center. He looked at his lover. Blue eyes stared at him intently. He understood. Saying no to Casey would be admitting he was ashamed of his new relationship. Raphael accepted.

The center had multiple rooms and to Raphael’s immense satisfaction, Jim, who first began to greet him with “I haven’t seen you in a long time” announced after a murderous look from Raphael that a room was free. They could book it for three private parties. There usually had to be six people, but he could do that for Raphael, who’d been the center champion for the past five years. While Leo listened interestedly, Jim described Raphael’s sniper skill, despite the vehement gestures of the “champion” to silence him.

He ordered the equipment and said Mikey needed a protective bib, which displeased him. With thoughtfulness and a smile, Raphael ignored Casey’s questioning look, helped Mikey get dressed and asked him if the helmet wouldn’t upset him.

The problems then started, like Raphael had expected. Deciding the teams was necessary. It went without saying for Raphael that it’d be him, Mikey and Leo against Casey and April.

“But, Raph, we’re still on the same team,” Casey whined.

“Bah. Not today,” Raphael said, while adjusting his equipment. “I’m with Leo and Mikey.”

“Shit, Raph. I never thought I’d ask a buddy this, but what does Hamato have that I don’t? You’re all over him these days and you hated him so much. I don’t get what happened to you, man.”

Embarrassed, Raphael snorted contemptuously and said, “You’re pathetic, Jones. Leo doesn’t even have a rifle and neither does his brother. It’s only to balance the teams.”

Leo intervened before he could formalize his decision, his eyes flashing dangerously, which Raphael had learned to dread.

“Hey, Senzi,” Leo said. “I don’t need you to protect me. How about April, me and Mikey against you and Casey?”

Arms crossed, everyone was waiting for Raphael’s decision. He wanted to be with Leo, but he was smart enough to know that annoying his lover was a bad idea. He’d have liked to have complicit moments with his lover and to perhaps have stolen a kiss from him in the darkness, but he gave in.

“Okay,” Raphael said. “We’ll do what Leo wants.”

Too relieved to be on what he considered the winning team, Casey didn’t take offense at the disconcerting ease in which Leo had gotten Raphael to do what he wanted, while he hadn’t succeeded.

Leo advised his brother to spare himself if he wanted to do all three parts. Raphael took the opportunity to take Casey aside.

“Don’t forget, Jones,” Raphael said. “We don’t aim at the kid or shoot at least to give him thrills, but don’t touch him.”

“But, Raph, there’ll be no winner,” Casey complained. “You’re untouchable and if you don't want to shoot a member of the opposing team ..."

“I don’t give a shit,” Raphael snapped. “The game’s forty-five minutes. He might not have the energy to play the other two. I want him to have fun. How old are you, Jones? Five-years-old?”

Casey shrugged. He didn't recognize his friend anymore.

The room was average sized, but extremely crowded with various objects of numerous sizes and very dimly lit. The scenario chosen by Raphael first was the simplest. It was to take the hidden flag without being shot.

Raphael was still playing “solo” at all times, despite the fact that he had teammates. He didn’t have much team spirit. It’d surely have been different if he’d been paired with Leo. He’d have stayed near the young man and using his body as a shield for him and Mikey. But no. Leo was on the opposing team and although he didn’t know if it was a good tactic or not, he wanted to teach his lover a lesson, so that the idiot understood he wasn’t invulnerable to an armed and determined person.

He heard a curse, which told him that his crew had been shot down. Raphael perceived a movement from a figure that was too tall to be the little boy he’d resolved to spare. He pulled coldly, what he thought was his head. A nervous chuckle told him that he’d reached April.

Well, he only had Leo left to eliminate. He knew that the bastard was silently moving and was therefore doubly on his guard.

He fell from above when he heard a voice behind him.

“Hasta la vista, baby,” Leo said with a laugh and shot him in his head, the flag in his hand.

The lights turned on again after a sound signal in front of a quite disturbed Raphael. He’d NEVER been touched at Paintball. How long had the son of a bitch been behind him? He looked at the blue eyes sparkling mischievously, and who was congratulated by his brother and April and told himself that….

It didn’t matter. His lover was handsome and radiant with happiness and he’d managed to slip behind him without him noticing it. That was because he had a damn talent. He smiled proudly at his friend and held out his hand.

“Good game, Leo,” Raphael said.

Leo, sincerely and happily surprised by Raphael's congratulations, was about to shake his hand when Casey shouted.

“Whoa. Wait a minute. Something’s happening here. Raph’s well-known to be a fucking sore loser! He gave me a black eye the last time we played poker! To me, his best friend! And here’s Mr. Sportsmanship?” Casey spat resentfully.

“I’ve matured, Casey! And you cheated!” Raphael hissed.

“Fuck you, Raph! That was like six weeks ago and I didn’t cheat.”

The friends were nearly nose-to-nose, rather than chin-to-chin, because Raphael was more than five inches taller than his friend.

“What’s going on, Raph? What’s with the new attitude? Don’t tell me lies about your old man. He’s been in Italy for ten days! I’ve seen you have bad times, but the mysteries of the past weeks….Celibacy doesn’t suit you, man. Find a chick before you lose your damn mind for good!”

Beneath the anger, there was a hint of desperate concern for his best friend, but Raphael didn’t care. He didn’t want Casey’s damn questions. He’d promised to tell him about it the following day, but he hadn’t prepared what he was going to say and he wasn’t even sure what Leo’s true feelings towards him were. He’d answer Casey’s questions with his fists if he didn’t shut his trap. To hell with friendship.

A hand suddenly rested on his chest, pulling him out of his thoughts about his friend.

The blue eyes looked at him and Raphael, despite feeling apprehensive and despite pretending he didn’t understand the meaning of the look, knew he had to spill the beans if he wanted to keep Leo. The fear of losing him caused his last barriers to fall down.

“I don’t need a girlfriend, Casey. I’m with someone,” Raphael said, as quietly as he could, his eyes downcast.

Casey, calm, looked at him. “I don’t get it. You were always with someone the little I saw of you in school.”

Raphael stubbornly studied the floor, waiting for Leo to speak for him or if Casey would guess it.

“Maybe they don’t come from our school,” April said.

Raph glared at her. She KNEW the person attended their establishment, but he didn’t say anything yet, only fidgeting with his hands.

“I still don’t understand,” Casey said. “You’ve slept with half of the girls at school and you never acted like this. Who are you really in love with?” Is it the right one?” Casey questioned more gently, soothed that he’d finally have an explanation.

"Yes. I'm in love, and ... uh ... it's the right person," Raphael replied cautiously.

 "Well, show me the lucky girl. You probably have one or two naughty pictures of her on your cell," Casey suggested with a wink.

"Oh yes! He has," Mikey chuckled behind his hands.

More and more mystified, Casey turned, like he’d been stung.

"What man? The kid saw the naked pictures of your new crush BEFORE me?”

Raphael rolled his eyes, but he felt Leo's impatience and ill-controlled fury. He didn’t have a choice. He was facing bullets for Leo. He thought if he could commit a damn parricide almost exclusively for Leo, he could tell Casey, who wouldn’t tell.

“It’s not a girl,” Raphael said. “It’s Leo.”

Casey narrowed his eyes, still not understanding, and said, “What’s about Hamato? I asked you about the future Mrs. Senzi."

The nerves got the best of Raphael. “You want to see my girlfriend? She’s my girlfriend,” Raphael yelled, placing Leo between them.

Casey made a weary gesture and said, “Stop about Hamato. I understand he’s your new friend and you find him cool. I’m not jealous. Tell me about your girlfriend. What’s she like? She must be a cutie to turn you upside down. I guess she has huge boobs. I know that’s your weakness,” Casey joked.

Before Raphael pulled his hair or slapped Casey for his stupid blindness, Leo took his head and pressed his lips against his, opening them with possessive force, finally silencing Casey, who stared at them in amazement, his jaw dropped in shock.

 


	16. Out of the closet?

Raphael was briefly too shocked to immediately respond to the kiss. Then he realized that it was Leo who, for the first time, had initiated the kiss and he let himself fall into the handsome young man’s arms, Casey, April and all the rest of the Earth forgotten.

After a while, a throat clearing sound seemed to remind Leo of the reality, because he ended the kiss. Once disconnected from the addictive lips, Raphael didn't dare to look at his childhood friend in the eye.

Finally, feeling all eyes fixed on him, he decided to stop being a coward and resolutely stared at Casey. The latter's face was a maelstrom of emotions, which passed so quickly, his face usually not very expressive, that Raphael couldn’t analyze until the last emotion on Casey’s features.

Frustration.

"Shit, man! You cost me a lot this week, dude!" Casey exclaimed.

Casey reluctantly pulled out his wallet from his pocket and handed a $50 note to April, who pocketed it with a smirk. It had the effect of a slap for Raphael.

"Da fuck!"  Raphael stammered, shaken.

April explained, since his friend was obviously sulking. "I bet with him that you were in love with Leo, which Casey stubbornly refused to believe."

"Yeah, man! I never thought you’d hide it from me, your so-called best bud!" Casey barked. "I should have known when you were anxious and bit your nails at your party, because of Hamato’s absence. And what about the arena? You didn't come to see me as a friend! You came to see your boyfriend!” Casey spat angrily.

"Listen, Case," Raphael began impatiently. He didn't want to explain it. It was about being gay and coming out the closet. He loved Leo, who was a boy. He didn't want his buddies to hide from him in the shower, fearing that Raphael was watching their cocks. Only Leo interested him. Just the thought of touching another body than his filled him with disgust.

Casey cut him off. “I mean, I've been your fucking friend for how many years? You could have told me  that…..”

"I had enough trouble figuring it all myself," Raphael hissed. “It was quite difficult for me to accept it and to come to terms with it, okay? I wasn’t going to announce or publicize anything until I was at peace with myself and sure of my feelings. And I have a lot of other shit to settle too. And I don’t even know what Leo feels for me!”

Raphael wanted to hear Leo speak about it. Now the raven-haired boy was publically cornered, he might finally answer what he really thought about Raphael and might say that poor Elena had only been a beard! It was Leo's turn to show involvement and to take risks for their relationship.

Leo didn't have time to answer, because April chimed in and said soothingly, “Raph, I think what Casey’s trying to say is he’s not shocked that you like Leo. He respects your choice. He's disappointed that you didn't trust him enough to talk to him about it."

 Raphael grumbled something unintelligible, plunging his hands into his pockets and staring at the floor.

"Yeah, Raph. That’s it. I saw something was upsetting you. You could have confided in, me, man. Friends are made for that kind of shit," Casey finished with a pat on the back. "I'm glad to see that this is just that."

Under burning coals, feeling uncomfortable in so-called "poignant" situations, Raphael mumbled a "Yeah, okay,” as he secretly looked at Leo.

Leo hadn’t yet “confessed any shared romantic feelings" anyway, having refuted nothing or asserted. He watched the scene with interest, but without seeming to feel any particular emotion. In any case, not enough for his Latin blood, which was easy to ignite. A bad presentiment overcame Raphael.

_"Surely he knows your identity and seeks to capture your trust and to seduce you, to simply behead you or to humiliate you and to kill your father with shame."_

He tried his best not to think about those words of the old Sicilian, but they always surfaced, doing their work, gnawing at his confidence and trying to destroy his love for Leo.

Raphael’s uncertain eyes rested on Mikey. Was he sick or was he pretending to soften him? He was pale and puny, but many other kids were. Had it been a sham and a scheme from the beginning? A rage he sometimes had suddenly overcame him and began to consume him. The stress and all of his successive emotions were difficult to manage for such an unstable person like him. Leo was too ambivalent, ambiguous to be honest. He needed answers and he was demanding them now.

His change of mood must have been perceptible, because Leo took his hand, pressing it into his in a gesture of comfort. His smile seemed sincere.

"Do you want to play another game or do you want to go home, Raph? You talked about a sauce yesterday, right? And there’s still your shuriken lesson. We can eat your delicious meal and drink the wine you bought to celebrate the occasion."

The bright smile, the soft intonation, and the blue tender eyes made his doubts about his lover disintegrate, but there an irrepressible desire to drive out the shadows remained. He wanted to be alone with Leo to do this. Mikey not counting as a presence. Leo invited him to spend the rest of the afternoon with him, as well as the evening. And Leo’s seductive tone after the word ‘wine’ implied that Raphael could also spend the night there. Wrapped in his strong arms, Leo couldn’t play vigilante and don his Ghost outfit. The Nightwatcher also deserved a break. He wanted to devote his night to love in its healthy form. Although Raphael referred to himself as insensitive, the bloodshed was starting to come become unbearable to him and he craved human warmth. In any case, he’d already eliminated many people. Strangely, he didn’t understand why nobody had contacted him about the events of the previous day. Maybe it was because of his father’s imminent arrival and they were up to something. He’d return to the shadows as soon as his father touched down on New York soil.

Raphael clenched his teeth. He hadn’t formulated a plan yet. He needed one last proof to be assured that his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him.

He had to find the picture of a woman in the drawer of his boyfriend's bedside table.  He’d know what to do if it was his mother. One shouldn’t think too long and should instinctively act in these situations.

"I prefer to go home, Leo. It’s three p.m. and the sauce must simmer for longer than two hours.”

Casey Jones looked at them in disbelief. Then he burst out laughing. “Hahahaha. I can’t believe it! The high school bully’s so eager to go and play housewife. Well done, Leo! I never thought the girl in the relationship would be Raph….”

He was grabbed by his collar before he could finish his sentence.

"Shut up, Jones, or I swear, no one will be able to identify your corpse with your teeth," Raphael growled.

Casey only laughed, despite the deadly seriousness of his friend. He was accustomed to the young Italian-American’s outbursts.

The rest happened as if he was in a red fog. He heard Leo calmly explain that there was no "girl" in their relationship. He didn't listen to his boyfriend's explanations about Elena anymore. His blood pressure still hadn't dropped when an ecstatic Leo told them he’d invited him to the Valentine’s Day dance on Friday.”

April said,” That’s great, Leo, but Raph needs to hurry up and go shopping, because the dance has been moved up to Tuesday. There was a scheduling conflict with the gym. The trainer complained about ..."

Raphael felt like his heart would stop beating. He felt the ground shaking under his feet, while Leo protested that it didn’t matter what day it was and what Raphael would wear. Raphael knew he couldn’t go with Leo on Tuesday. His father would know about it as soon as he stepped off of the plane and maybe before if he did. The effect of surprise as an advantage to Raphael was now finished. He bit his lip, as he listened to his friends say their goodbyes. Leo’s eyes shone with satisfaction. His lover was going to be furious with his dodging and evasion.


	17. Shoot on sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta. She is on vacations (well-deserved) for a week, and since some people were excited about the next chapter, I post it without beta. Anyway, it's not like some of you wasn't used to my bad English. I'm sorry, I'm still learning this language.

Raphael still had not found a solution to his problem. While Leo was driving home, one hand on the steering wheel and the other in his, he could not sufficiently ignore the butterflies in his stomach, provided by his new boyfriend's touch, to think of a solution.

 The only idea that came to him was to convince Leo to spend the evening at home with him. He could always claim to be sick or want a more romantic Valentine's Day. He could still wander somewhere in the park or invite him to dinner. This would be a middle ground: in public but far from possible informers.

 Leo's hand pressed his own, slightly to get his attention. Raphael looked up to discover the loving smile of his beloved.

 "Raph? Are you okay? You seem lost in your thoughts."

 Raph found it prudent to change the subject:

 "Um yes. You were terrific at the paintball. Where did you learn to tiptoe? Did your father show you how to move so silently?"

 Raphael's question was sincere. He wanted to know more about his lover and his affiliation. In the same way, perhaps, he would also learn something about his mother. He was dying to revive his memory, but as much his father, as all his acolytes, of course, never spoke of it. Casey did not know her. But perhaps Leo's father had slipped a word about her to his lover.

 A neutral expression on his face, Leo focused again on the road.

 "Yes and no. He died when I was young, and I spent one week a month with my mother, outside of Japan, while I was alive, so I had another Sensei for my training."

 Raph jumped at the occasion of the slight hint that his friend had made concerning the separation of his parents.

 "Why have they divorced?" he tried to ask nonchalantly.

 "I don't want to talk about it really," Leo said darkly. "In short, they didn't share the same values. My mother worked in diplomacy. She dreamed of a more just and peaceful world. My father wasn't ready to change at the time. So ... so my mother met someone like her, who worked in an embassy, Michael's father."

 Leo paused for a moment, searching for his words or trying to control the emotions that these memories aroused in him. He continued after a moment, seeing that his friend seemed suspended on his lips:

 "She confessed to my father that she didn't love him anymore, before committing adultery, even if she suspected he would take it very badly. My mother had a horror of lies, and she was brave. My father accepted the divorce, under certain conditions, including that of having me three weeks out of four and that a man of his choice follows me everywhere. He loved her enough to let her go, even though in his world, women didn't ask divorce. When he died, I went back to live with her, but the Sensei followed. He stayed with me until recently."

 These words were echoed in Raphael. He knew what Leo meant by "even if in his world, women didn't ask divorce". Leo and Mikey's mother was fortunate. If his mother had dared to talk to his father and ask for a divorce, she would have had his mouth full of dirt as well. His only avenue was the flight. Leo's father, since his wife dared to tell him everything, must have don't have to understand the reservations and fears of his mother.

 The remaining few minutes before the finish happened silently at the front of the car while Mikey was singing popular choruses in the back.

 Leo's good humor, to his great regret, had tarnished. His beautiful face reflected a great melancholy and Raphael wanted to die for his curiosity.

 "Hey! Sorry to have opened my big mouth. I didn't mean to make you sad", he said tenderly.

 Leo made a gesture to signify that it didn't matter. But Raph, despite his excuses, felt even more devoured by the desire to know everything. He had to be subtle and patient to extract confessions from his lover's mouth. Two qualities he had never possessed.

 Returned to Leo's apartment, he tried to stagger him from an empty talk on some neutral subjects, to finally fall on that of the kitchen and dared to slip an allusion on himself, which he never did, to demonstrate to Leo that between them, the barriers had no place to be. Although some, yes ...

 "My mother," he began, and it made him very odd to say that word out loud, "had no close friends. She had no hobbies or jobs. My father is a traditional man. My mother had to be like his, to be beautiful, of irreproachable virtue and to know how to cook. When my dad's associates came to chat at home, he was proud to show off the cooking skill and the beauty of his wife. But, she really enjoyed cooking, so that didn't bother her too much. I watched her do it. That's how I learned."

 As he spoke, tears ran down his cheeks unnoticed as he finished the sauce, lowering the temperature, so the mixture boiled gently. Leo approached him and put a soothing hand on his back.

 "Hey. I think our paintball counted for training. What would you say we were resting in my room?" the handsome teenager whispered to his ear.

The hand slide down in a suggestive caress. Raph shuddered from head to foot, all nostalgia erased. The idea of stroking again the body of his lover, which he had not touched for more than a week relegated to the back of his mind any trace of sadness.

 "Yeah," he said with difficulty, wholly possessed by the excitement. At this moment, even the idea that he was going to be beheaded by a katana if he entered this room was indifferent to him. The attraction he had for his friend's flesh was stronger than any reasoning. He had never been sexless for so long in recent years, and he had never fantasized that much about anyone.

 "Wait for me, I'll take care of Mikey," Leo said quietly. Raphael, with the willingness of a lamb, went to the young man's room. As soon as the door closed, he eyed the drawer of the bedside table. According to the kid, the picture of his mother was there. He was burning to take a look at it, but Leo could come in any time, and he didn't want to risk the wrath of his lover, especially just before the sex reconciliation that promised to be breathtaking. He remembered their last night together and his cock also apparently because he was already hard. Uncomfortable in his tight jeans, he swayed for a moment if he had to undress. He finally decided to wait for his partner. To be undressed by Leo would be infinitely sexier.

 He bit his lips. Excited as he was, the expectation made him suffer like thousands of white-hot pins. Finally, Leo appeared and turned to lock the door. This banal gesture was almost enough to lead Raphael to orgasm.

 The blue eyes shone almost wildly as he stepped toward the bed with deliberate slowness as if Raph's excitement needed further stimulation. While he was lying, Leo at the foot of the bed began to remove his shirt, revealing his perfect pecs, then continued his striptease under the look of a pure lust of his lover.

 When he remained only his navy blue boxer, he lay down over Raph who eagerly took the other teen in his arms, their lips joining in a languid and possessive kiss. As each of the lips struggled for dominance, Raph realized that he would not have the nerves to overextend the foreplay if he didn't want to be bothered by a premature physiological reaction. With a blow of kidney, he reversed the other male, who let himself be made laughing.

 "Eager much?" he asked sarcastically.

 "Shut up!" Raph grunted, "I've been waiting for days. You made me crazy with all this ... this ... whatever

 Raphael had no desire to speak for the moment. He wanted to devour the body beneath him. They will have all the time, in post-orgasmic bliss, to discuss.

 Leo released himself gently with a kiss.

 "Let me at least take the necessaries," he said, pointing to his bedside table. Stretching with the grace of a panther, he opened the drawer to pull out a bottle of lube and three condoms.

 Raph, who could not take his eyes off Leo for a moment, noted that he had left the drawer ajar. He didn't have time to linger his thoughts that his lover put the bottle of lube in his hands, with authority.

 "This also serves as a massage oil. Rub my back me, I slept poorly last night," Leo ordered sensually.

 For a moment, Raphael visualized what Leo's night had to be, surrounded by gunshots and flames. The story of the fight was probably epic, but it's not as if he could question the other young man about it.

 He glanced at the man without shame, removed his underwear and lay on his stomach, proudly showing the blue and red dragon on his back. Raph sighed at the cruelty of his lover, which made him wait patiently, but he decided to obey anyway, to have his reward for his compliance.

 Before spreading the oil on the back of his partner, he could not help but kiss and caress with his tongue the dragon tattoo, similar to that of the lover of his mother. A psychoanalyst would surely have had a lot to say about this kind of Oedipus complex projected on Leo, but he didn't give a damn. He nibbled the firm and round buttocks of his lover, rewarded for his care by a few small moans of contentment escaped from Leo's lips.

 With love, he smoothly penetrated the oil into Leo's flesh, gently massaging the young man's shoulder blades. He had never done this for anyone, but he made every effort to satisfy his friend.

 He felt his partner warm up under him and from one moment to the next, he knew that his lover was going to ask him to end the sensual massage to take it, finally. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

 "Leo?" Mikey squeaked on the other side of the door.

 With exasperation, Leo turned around and shouted:

 "Mikey! I told you that I was meditating!"

 Mikey cleared up his throat and Raph knew that Mikey didn't buy it at all.

 "Yeah, but uh ... you didn't answer to cousin Donny! He called you on your cell. Uh ... he just left the airport. He's on his way to here."

 Leo rose as hurriedly as if the apocalypse were at his doorstep, slipping on his boxers, under the astonished air of Raph who began to feel the tingle of a rage he was mounting. He didn't like this cousin Donny and his way of always coming to fuck his relationship with Leo.

 The dark-haired young man turned to him:

 "I'm coming back, okay? Leave me a few minutes," he pleaded.

 Raph was pissed off, but what could he do? In a bad mood, he made a gesture expressing his frustration, but allowing Leo to do what he pleased.

 While Leo was no longer in the room, the eyes of the abandoned young man went around the room and sat on the half-open drawer. He hesitated only a moment. Curiosity took the better of him.

 He opened it, and as soon as his eyes saw the contents of the drawer, he was amazed. Incredulous, he fumbled, turning the contents around. At the bottom of the drawer, he found the picture, buried under the other objects.

 It was his mother, no doubt, and he had a brief emotion when he saw again on the glossy paper, her face so cherished. This removed all his doubts. The murder had indeed arrived and Raphael did not have a too bright imagination that distorted his memories. He stroked the outline of the beautiful face and put his lips respectfully.

 His heart sank, and tears in his eyes could not support the green gaze of the picture, so much like his, he looked away. This was all that was necessary to remove all the sorrowing emotions, his melancholy replaced by a much stronger feeling, which he had experienced too frequently at his pleasure in the last month.

 His eyes ignited as he stared at the many sex toys that filled Leo's drawer to the brim. Impossible that it was for Elena. Never would the rather chaste young Italian of his memory have accepted to be whipped, tied and gagged. These objects were to be used with someone else, and Raph couldn't believe that Leo had filled a suitcase full of sadomasochistic objects for his arrival in New York. These items had been recently purchased and the English-only wording packages also suggested it.

 Leo had one or more sex partners in New York, so for the same amount of time, they knew each other. His suspicions immediately arose on the hated "cousin" who, according to the confession of Leo's little brother, was burning with passion for HIS lover. Leo was his, he repeated to himself angrily. It was his boyfriend for who he had done thing more than anyone! And the idea that he was lying to him and cheating him made him crazy. That was how he thanked him? He was risking his life for Leo, and he stabbed him in the back laughing and frolicking with others? Raphael knew himself a possessive nature, but this time it was beyond that. He had the impression that he had been torn apart so much that his whole being was shredded, bleeding with pain and anger.

 He tried to be reasonable and to tell himself that his relationship with Leo had been official for only a very short time and that he had just lied by omission and that he was unaware of the risks that Raph was taking for him. But this voice of reason was stifled by the much more powerful voice of jealousy. A fit of jealousy like he had never felt, at the height of his love for the handsome young man.

 He didn't even think so much anymore that this feeling consumed him. He was so immersed in this surge of helpless rage that he did not immediately notice his black-haired friend watching him, arms crossed, in the doorway.

Leo's voice was not enough to pull him out of his rage when he finished studying it.

 "You have no reason to be jealous."

 Turning quickly, Raphael let out a small sarcastic laugh:

 "Oh yeah?"

 Skepticism was evident on his face as well as in his voice.

 Leo sighed, a little exasperated:

 "It's not my mistress if you want to know!"

 Raph was stunned for a moment; then his eyes fell back on the picture. Leo thought he was jealous of the photography when it was pretty much the only thing that kept him from burn the place to the ground.

Seeing that his boyfriend didn't seem more satisfied, Leo continued:

 "She was the mistress of my father. I keep this photograph to remind me that love doesn't protect us and that beauty is treachery. She handed him an ambush and ..."

 Raph knew he should not have made his move, while his fist met his lover's jaw, but even though his conscience was pulling on the reins, he could not bring himself to restrain his movement. The insult to her mother's memory, juxtaposed with his stinging jealousy, did the rest.

 He hit Leo square in the jaw, seeing in a flash the blue-steel eyes widened in amazement.

 He took his leather jacket that was lying at the foot of the bed and decided to leave, despite all the tear he was experiencing. He loved Leo, and he knew that, if he walked in the door, it would be over between them, admitting the very hypothetical case that the punch was not already in the ground their relationship.

 Leo restrains him by the arm, a smile on his bleeding lips.

 "Waoh Senzi, this is the first time in at least seven years that surprise has taken me."

 Raph didn't know what little mind game Leo was playing, but he was at a point of almost no return.

 "Yeah, you're not the only one full of surprises," he said, disengaging himself from his shoulder.

 "Raph ..."

 Leo restrains him again, gripping his fingers with one hand and stroking Raphael's hair and cheek on the other. Blue eyes shone with tenderness and anxiety.

 "Raph," he repeated in a soft voice, "tell me what's wrong."

 The teenager in the leather jacket was a bit of a change of direction. While, fire and blood, he had hit Leo, he responded with cuddles. Raphael was not used to sweetness, she took him by surprise, and he did not know how to defend herself against her. Likewise, speaking to express his feelings was not customary to him either. He had always been told that discussion was a more constructive way to express his emotions than his fists, but he had never really tried. He looked again at the tender periwinkle glancing at his. He sighed, defeated. Leo was worth the effort, he decided. It was already a miracle in itself that Leo, after such a hook, didn't kick him out.

 "I wonder," he said in the calmest voice he could, "on your use of all these things."

 Leo smirked, clearly not following his lover's reasoning.

 "I think this is obvious, right? This is for…"

 Raphael cut him off abruptly:

 "I want to know WITH WHO do you use these?"

 After the first surprise, the other man's face split into a smile both mocking and tender.

 "Are you really jealous about some sex toys? It is adorable."

 Raphael didn't have time to be indignant that no, it wasn't all, that a kiss closed his lips.

 "I have not used any of this ... not yet," the dark-haired young man sensually whispered, after releasing the other's lips as his hands began to descend from his lover's loins.

 The Italian-American refused to let himself be circumvented. One did not buy half of an erotic shop without the goal of using it shortly. Leo and him having a somewhat stormy relationship, until the morning even, there was no time to predict that they would be close enough to hardcore sex so quickly. It had not been bought for him, he knew it

 "Cut the bullshit already," he barked, removing his wandering hands from him and stepping back several steps to get out of reach."You didn't buy that for me."

 Leo shook his jet-haired head.

 "It's true, I didn't buy them for you."

 He let his sentence hang while the other teen's male face twisted into a grimace of anger.

 "I knew that," he spat as he gestured to remove Leo from the exit door.

 Leo blocked him again, preventing him to leave.

 "Raph," Leo explained," I didn't buy anything. They were in this drawer when I laid out here."

 The brown brows furrowed above the green eyes. He wasn't sure he believed Leo, despite his desire. Seeing that his friend remained skeptical, Leo explained.

 "Donny has arranged this room so that I am "comfortable" and that I have all that I can desire. To give me so many toys of this ilk is like a way to tell me that it respects my private and sexual life. He won't put obstacles in and won't be jealous, as I may have feared."

 Raphael proceeded with the information, a reflexion burrowing his forehead. It was hard to swallow. But he wanted to believe his lover. If he could not trust Leo, after all, he had gone through; his life was meaningless.

 "If what you say is true," he began cautiously, "it is evident that he bought this to use it with you. This is not the kind of welcome gift that is offered in my country," he concludes with marked suspicion.

 Leo sighed:

 "Very well, Raphael. You prefer not to believe me. Free to you. The door is there. Once again. I was wrong to place my hopes on you, ended the young man fatally.

 This sudden abandonment on the part of his beloved fills Raphael with uncertainties. If Leo told the truth? So he lost it when he left. Despite his anger and his doubts, he could not bear it. He tried to muzzle his rage.

 "Understand me," he tried to justify himself. "Your cousin seems to have you around his finger! Normal that I'm jealous. I don't understand the power he has over you. And you don't tell me anything," Raph finished, scowling.

 "Donny had no power over me than gratefulness, and you're wrong to be jealous. And I can prove it to you, "the other man replied confidently, crossing his arms in his most arrogant posture that Raph hated so much.

 "Oh yeah? And how are you going to do, huh?" he challenged, shimmering his haughty hold.

 "You think there's something sexual between Donny and me, right? Leo questioned by pure rhetoric. So, he'd be furious if we used some of these presents, you and I together, while he's in the room next door, is not it?"

 The dark-haired young man nodded barely perceptible, not seeing where his lover was coming from, but suddenly calmed to see that he had been able to express his feelings acceptably and that Leo was continuing the dialogue.

 "Donny will be here in less than an hour. I have already informed him of your presence, out of respect. It is his place, and he doesn't like impromptu. He has not reacted, and I know he will distract Mikey from the moment you and I continue this "meditation lesson." I am all yours during this time."

 He found a way to bring imperceptibly closer all along his explanation. When he had finished, he was against Raph, without him having been able to stop him.

 In any case, the offer of his lover had convinced him. His dazzling jealousy had been appeased, and it was the main one since he no longer felt like blowing fire from his nostrils.

 Feeling the change in his partner, Leo, boldly came to rest his head on his shoulder:

 "It's you that I want ..." he murmured.

 It was not an 'I love you,' but this admission is enough to provide a heat wave for Raphael. It was the first time Leo was so explicit about his feelings, and he could be content with it ... to begin with. He would know how to make her cry out later.

 Passing his hand through his black hair, in a caress that became brutally possessive, he bent his thinner head back to capture his lips and then blush his neck with kisses.

 He didn't care to leave any traces and Leo, so marked, was going to lose his cover of "meditation" as soon as he crossed his bedroom door. It did not matter. Little Mikey knew the secret, though his big brother wanted to keep the details and he didn't care to hide it from cousin Donny either. On the contrary, he wanted him to not doubt who actually belonged to the blue-eyed young man and that Raph would not let Leo go without a memorable fight.

 In any case, the victim in his arms seemed more than willing and not bothering any of the bites and traces of sucking that now adorned his collar and shoulders.

 Having laid his lover on the bed and undressed entirely again, he realized that he wasn't necessarily in a soft mood. To prove his passion by endless foreplay, harmless caresses and massages, seemed to him anachronistic. He wanted to draw from Leo confessions, and he saw pleasure as an excellent way to achieve his goal. His eyes, almost inadvertently, landed on the still open drawer.

 He had always been a more brutal and rather impatient lover, but according to what he had been able to judge, satisfactory enough for his previous female conquests to ask for more. Each of them had been a virgin maid raised in a closed cup. He had never met an experienced partner beyond himself, which, to his great annoyance and jealousy, he had to admit that Leo was. He was utterly foreign to all the ways of spicing up sex life, his most kinky experience having been a threesome with Lisa and a friend of hers. He had never used any instrument, and he was suddenly afraid, very afraid of disappointing Leo by his ignorance. He came to admit the desire and he did not want to risk this positive aspect, being awkward or looking silly.

 Leo, obviously, had managed so well to connect with him, now vampirizing him of all independent thought, that, reading in his mind, he rose gently to push Raphael on the back of a kiss.

 "Relax Koibito ... You can let me do it. You trust me?" he asked in a caressing voice, his hand nonchalantly gripping a box containing straps that protruded from the drawer.

 The question made him feel like a cold blade on the jugular. He wanted to trust Leo. But if he agreed to be tied, and if cousin Donny arrived to help Leo make a diabolical scheme of which he was the designated victim, how to defend himself?

 His paranoia was only busy to raise questions in his mind, while Leo, straddling him, studied him, his air increasingly dark.

 "There no love without trust, Koibito," he said firmly.

 Then, Raph gave up all resistance and nodded, allowing himself to plunge completely into the black hole that was already absorbing all the essence of his being, since their fateful meeting. He had to take that risk. He might pay for it, but it was better than a life of regret.

 Leo gave him a smile that made a shark jealous and whispered to him a few foreign words that Raph supposed to be Japanese again and rascal, if he could judge by the lascivious expression of his partner above him. He promised himself that if he came out alive from Leo's room, he would take lessons from that language, to understand what his lover was saying to him.

 With assurance, Leo pulled down his red boxer, then calmly, he tied each of Raph's wrists to the headboard, then pushed back the box, which Raphael was relieved. Leo was leaving his legs free at least. If it was a deadly traitor, no doubt he would have tied him up.

 The expression on the face of her boyfriend showed that it savored every moment, while he caressed, barely fingertips his body.

 "You are always so impatient. So lively. Sex is not a question of quantity, but of quality. In some civilizations, it was hoisted as an art. You'll only have an orgasm, but I promise you it will be ... mindblowing.

 The image made Raphael shudder, who unconsciously put his eyes on the katanas on the wall. Johnny's words sounded again in those ears:

  _"Beheading you, simply."_

Leo only blew on his cock, and he flinched so hard that the ropes entered his flesh.

 His lover gave him a puzzled look:

 "If this makes you too nervous, I can untie you! We can shift position!"

 Raphael thought for a moment of the proposition. Yes, he hated to say it, but having his hands tied him to a point he would not have thought possible. His fists opened and closed convulsively, in the visceral need to feel the butts of his revolvers beneath them. For many years, his weapons had become his comfort, as a nightlight in a dark room could be for some people. He tried to convince himself that if Leo offered to detach him, it was further evidence that he did not intend to attack Raph's life. He didn't want to be seen as a fearful bigot in front of his lover and disappoint him. His lover, obviously, had less orthodox tastes than his previous girlfriends and shirking his first petition would bury their relationship for good. Many people were in "bondage," and no one died. He had to make a man of himself or Leo, no doubt, would go elsewhere. He had only one corridor to cross to find a partner who seemed to have the same inclinations as him. They both came from Japan, and it was known that the Japanese were filthy perverts fantasizing about nonsense like tentacles. He wasn't going to lose control of his nerves for restraints.

 "No," he refuted as firmly as he could, even if it sounded wrong in his own ears. Keep on going.

 The predator grin stretched out:

 "We feel brave today? Don't worry; I won't use anything else as a toy and I won't do anything more than the last time.

 Raphael forced himself to control his breathing. Despite Leo's promises, panic was rising in him at an exponential rate.

 He didn't know this boy. The statement hit him in the face. And yet, he was naked and tied to the enemy of his family, who was going to receive reinforcements from his "cousin," admitting that he needed it.

 Seeing no doubt that he needed a distraction now to avoid an acute panic attack, his lover began to kiss him with a passion that Raphael didn't remember having felt. Then the warm lips descended into his neck, lapping, biting and sucking the flesh around his collarbone.

 A few minutes later, Raphael Senzi was no more than a supplicating creature in the arms of the tattooed young man.

 Satisfied with his work, Leo gave him a mocking look:

 "I prefer you like that."

 A last stab of pride made his victim whistle between his teeth:

 "Shut up!"

 With a sneer, Leo leaned his tongue between the legs of the muscular boy, while not leaving the eye and this vision alone is almost enough to lead Raphael to ecstasy. Arrived at the inflated cock, Leo gave a brief lick on the head of the member, as to test his reaction, providing an electric shiver in the body of Raph.

 The blue eyes stared at him with amusement, while remaining so close to his sensitive penis that he felt the other man's breathing. So close ... so close ...

 "Beg me…"

 "Kiss my ass! I beg you shit! Nobody will say that I asked to be fucked!" Raph spat, knowing very well he will yield eventually, but not without having made a fight about it.

 "Oh, what shame ... I wanted to experience my favorite position ... we could not try it last time, because you threw me out," Leo recalled with a glare in the eyes. He continued after a brief pause, the time to see guilt light up in the emerald eyes.

 "I wanted to impale myself directly on your huge cock," he explained after having deposited a light kiss, "and then ride you until my pleasure spurts on you perfect abs..." he suggesting, mimicking his idea.

 The mental image was too much for Raphael, already only a sweating mess. The heat having risen to his head, his voice was only a gurgling sound:

 "Do it.

 Then, after a pause, seeing that his lover had still didn't move, he added: "Please!" biting his lips in a mix of shame and anticipation.

 He hated his weakness for a brief moment on seeing the victorious look of the other male. Would all of them always turn into a power struggle? Then, when his member was embedded in a warm and silky mouth, all his regrets flew through the window.

 Leo continued to nod his head for a moment. The pleasure rose in him at a blazing speed and his lover, seeing him close to orgasm, stopped. The feeling of emptiness made Raphael's eyes open, and he groaned his disapproval.

 "My excuses," Leo apologized, but Raph saw very well that the other male was more amused than contrite. "But I need you to stay hard to keep going."

 Leo took the bottle of lubricant from the drawer and poured a right amount of liquid into his hand, then spread the viscous product - and cold - noted Raph with a hoist on his cock throbbing anticipation. He closed his eyes briefly. All this waiting put him on fire and the fact that attached, he could not do anything to speed things up, amplified this feeling.

"Damnnit Leo! If you don't speed it up, I swear I will..."

"You will lay back and take whatever I give"

 Leo's face filled his entire field of vision when he opened his eyes after receiving a light kiss.

 Then, he felt the body of the young man come down on him, enveloping him with a delicious warmth and tension. Leo's body muscles seemed so tight on him that he could feel the pulse of his heartbeat.

 He had never experienced such osmosis with another being.

 Leo began to make some hips movements, and a stream of words flowed from his mouth without him being able to stop it.

 What he shouted was almost meaningless and probably not at all for Leo, since he felt like it was Italian but he could not have sworn it.

 In any case, it didn't matter.

 Unknown words came out of the perfect mouth that he did not understand more, admitting taking the time to listen to them. They seemed to be appreciative, and that was enough for Raph.

 He glanced at Leo, before keeping them stubbornly closed. The vision of the erect body, like a reptile on the attack and the beautiful face transfigured by pleasure, was too intense for him. He could not contemplate this scene too powerfully erotic without bothering himself by an orgasm too hasty.

 Eyes closed, helpless, he let Leo please himself with his body, immobilized. Feeling an instrument of enjoyment for her lover, instead of revenge for her father seemed much more rewarding. He reproached himself for this parallel. He was not going to think of his father while he lived a moment so intoxicating.

 He didn't know what Leo did, but he felt the velvety tunnel of his body contract even more against him, pressing him so hard he seemed to crush him. Her loins understood the message and went to meet her lover's pelvis with each stroke. Leo's moans of approval made him lose his head.

 He started shouting encouragement, although knowing that Leo, being a beginner in Dante's language, could not understand anything, while waving his kidneys frantically in agreement with his partner.

 "Vai avanti, tesoro, ti amo così tanto. Portami. Mi Utilizzare per il vostro piacere."

 He had been moaning and yelling and groaning for a moment when he heard Leo urging him to shut up. His partner had stopped his movements and looked at him with slight disapproval.

 "You shout so loudly that you're going to rouse the building! I don't want Mikey to make too specific scenarios. We are supposed to meditate for him, remember? Not to participate in a Roman orgy! You don't leave me the choice," he concluded while taking a gag with a bullet from the drawer.

 He didn't even try to oppose him when Leo gagged him, reducing him more and more to the state of a toy. The word "pride" had evaporated from Raphael's vocabulary, and the only thing that mattered to him now was the scabbard of muscles where he remained depressed to the hilt and the desire to feel the meeting of their pelvis.

 Mute and immobilized, he continued to concentrate all his faculties to savor the intense pleasure that his lover gave him. Between two foreign words, it slipped him a lewd look but conquering the man under him:

 "If you saw yourself like this ... Attached and reduce to silence. You're so sexy ... I wanted you that way as soon as my eyes landed on you. I knew it would come. And it's even better than I hoped,  Leo concluded, by putting more emphasis on his movements, entering his fingers into the flesh of the kidneys of his partner, enough to score lasting, propelling himself with more force.

 Raphael's heart dilated at this compliment. Leo, no longer tolerate the abuse he gave himself to his prostate, cum in a silent scream and Raph, who had just opened his eyes, swore never to have seen anything so beautiful, while ribbons of semen covered his abdomen with pearls.

 The pulsations and contractions from the body of his lover were enough to push him too to an orgasm so sharp that he trembled. It took him several minutes to descend from his peak, and he was aware of the body of his beloved curled against his. He felt a powerful need to caress his lover, to ensure his well-being, love, and possession. He wanted to bury him in his arms to protect this treasure that was the young man with black hair.

 Leo made a weary gesture to remove the gag, then fell back on Raphael.

 "Do you think I'll be loose soon? I don't feel my hands anymore," he complained, still stunned and the sore mouth muscles.

 "Hum? Leave me ... a few moments" his lover begged his lover, who seemed to be in a bliss identical to his. Then Leo got up and untied his friend.

 "Did you enjoy yourself?" he questioned languidly.

 Raph, rubbing his wrists, ponders the question. Yes, without a doubt, he had very appreciated the experience. But the fact that his friend seemed so gifted and connoisseur filled him with jealousy again. He knew it was irrational. Leo was 18 years old. It was evident that he had not waited for Raph to punch his V-card and he could not blame him.

 "Yes, that was good," he conceded in one breath.

 Anyway, the important thing was that he could trust his lover. He had remained a rather long time at the mercy of the ebony-haired boy. Leo would have had time to kill him, to dismember him and to sack the pieces in his car's suitcase, if he had wanted to, he thought. He had only been a paranoid con. Suddenly, as Leo repositioned himself like a cat against him, he thought sharply on time. This sauce should not stick, he thought, holding out a lazy hand to his cell phone he had left on the other bedside table, while his other hand tenderly stroked the black hair.

 Gloomy, he saw that he had received a text message from his father. He swung a moment at the thought of reading it. He didn't want to ruin this epiphany that he lived with his beloved. Then he thought it might be important and he opened it.

 His heart stopped beating, while what he had been dreading for over a week came to fruition.

 The message was a photo of Leo, apparently a copy of that of his passport, by its stilted appearance. But what was much worse, was the comment below:

 'Shoot on sight'

 The message has been sent to 77 of his clan members.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, if I don't speak English you can figure that my Japanese and Italian are all from Google Translate. Raph is supposed to say something along the lines that he encourages Leo to use him to have pleasure.
> 
> "Damnnit Leo! If you don't speed it up, I swear I will..."
> 
> "You will lay back and take whatever I give" it's from a Momorawrr's drawing.
> 
> Don't forget to fill the voting ballot!


	18. Cho-San

Raphael got up so hastily that he fell to the bottom of the bed, taking some of the rumpled bedsheets with him, uncovering the naked body of the other young lover. He was so adrenaline-ridden that it didn’t stop him. He clumsily stood up and started getting dressed, while swearing in his two native languages.

Leo, in spite of his lethargy, raised his head and said in a tone that was a mixture of curiosity and disapproval, “What are you doing? Come back here.”

Raphael stammered, as he donned his black jeans, not knowing what to say or how to explain. Terror filled him so much, so it was extraordinary he could move, instead of being rooted to the spot. He was beyond words and explanations and his anxiety was so immense that he wondered if he could think. He debated between staying with his lover, so he could protect him or leaving and eliminating all of his enemies. He wasn’t one to sit around waiting and delaying the evitable. He preferred getting it done.

There was a bounty on his beloved new boyfriend’s head and each member of his clan wanted to have the honor of annihilating the designated enemy.  He knew they were merciless and besides, his recent murders must have enraged them and exacerbated their thirst for revenge. Leo should remain inside.

“I have to go,” Raphael said awkwardly. “But I’ll return. You mustn’t leave the place and must stay hidden here,” he added, taking Leo’s hands in his and passionately clasping them, while staring intently into Leo’s eyes to convey how serious the situation was.

Raphael had never begged so much when he’d requested something before and hoped this would be enough to make his lover understand how being separated from him tore him up and that he was doing it involuntarily, so they’d have a better future. Leo unfortunately, didn’t seem to be receptive.

“Why do you have to leave? What’s the emergency?” Leo asked in evident displeasure.

“Listen, baby. I can’t explain right now,” Raphael replied as succinctly as he could. "I promise to tell you everything afterward. But I have to go for now.”

He’d tried his best to emphasize and to communicate his sense of urgency to his lover. He’d trusted Leo with the bondage. Leo could trust him too, right?

Leo remained unconvinced and gritted his teeth. “Oh, so it’s just like the last time when you fucked me and you showed me the door, except the only difference now is that I’m at home and you’re leaving!”

Leo’s bitter words pierced Raphael’s heart. He’d have happily hit his head against the wall if it meant he’d be able to persuade Leo and show him it wasn’t the same as the previous time. He wasn’t ashamed to be in love with a man, who pushed him to leave him. On the contrary. He just wanted to protect Leo. Explaining it in detail to Leo would be betraying himself and he wasn’t sure that his friend was ready to hear his confessions. He probably would never be.

"Shit, Leo. That’s not why I’m leaving. Trust me! I don’t want to leave, but I have no choice,” Raphael tried to justify, while checking his pistols were in his inner pocket.

Leo’s dark look, which seemed to understand what he was doing, and what he said next erased any confusion about the uncertainty in which Raphael would one day tell his boyfriend the truth.

“I don’t know you, Raphael, like my father didn’t know that woman. Mysteriousness has its charms, I get that, but I look more like my mother, I hate the secrets and I condemn any form of unjustified violence! I don’t know why a man your impressive size always carries two revolvers or what makes you do so, but it’s a huge turn off! You’ve blamed me for hiding some things about my life, so I’m doing the same thing! You can leave now without telling me why, but don’t think you can control my movements. I do what I want and don’t count on me to tell you about it.”

Raphael, who was by the bedroom door, his hand on the handle, turned, knelt before Leo and gripped his hands.

 “Baby, I swear you’ll know everything on Tuesday.”

Tuesday reminded him about the planned dance. Nothing would stop him from attending it after what he was about to do. Leo had seemed to love the idea of going to it.

“I promise, Leo, everything will be better after the dance, okay? I won’t hide anything from you. We’ll do anything you want. Just promise not to go out today or tomorrow. Well, not until I come to get you. Don’t open the door to anyone and you and Mikey must stay away from the windows! Wait for my orders."

Leo looked at him with as much expression as a Sphinx has, but Raphael could say that his lover was angry at what he must consider a morbid possessiveness. He yanked his hands away from Raphael’s with a disgusted look and Raphael’s heart sank.

Raphael didn’t have time for this shit. Every minute counted and he had to think of a plan. He couldn’t eliminate fifty people one after the other in broad daylight. It was too risky. The text proved that he was currently not suspected. He had to hit first, fast and hard. An idea hit him, as he knelt before his boyfriend, who gazed at him with a mixture of impassiveness and disapproval. He was wasting precious time with that mule and wouldn’t win anything. As if to prove him right, he received another message and he jumped, as his cell vibrated.

_'Meeting at 10h PM at the restaurant. The target is enrolled at your school and I hope you do what is necessary before the others.’_

Raphael shuddered. Leo's arrival at their school had been all but discreet. All the girls in the school had swooned over the beautiful stranger and his sports performance had also earned him the consideration of his male acolytes. In the same way, their disagreement was well-known. Everyone probably remembered their first confrontation in the cafeteria and no doubt another student, son or daughter of the other Mafioso’s of their clan, would mention it. His father would bombard them, as well as him, with questions in order to obtain information about where Leo lived, what car he drove or his schedule. Raphael couldn’t answer and had to avoid his father until 10 p.m. How had that bastard already returned? He’d said he was returning on the 15th and not the 12th! Had he gone home? Regardless, he had to leave now and he’d make it up to Leo another time when the sword of Damocles was no longer hanging over their heads. He left without a last look, not wanting to be convinced to stay by his lover’s reproachful look. He went down the corridor and collided with Leo’s cousin, Donny, who stared at him sullenly. Raphael instinctively hated the man, but he was ready to ignore his reservations for Leo’s sake.

Raphael brutally grabbed him. “Listen, ‘Cousin’ Donny,” he said, emphasizing the word ‘cousin’. “You don’t like me and I don’t give a fuck, because I don’t like you either, but this is about Leo and you must listen. He mustn’t leave here tonight or tomorrow. It’s not about fucking jealousy, okay?” Don raised an eyebrow and Raphael continued in a lower tone, but one that was still threatening, “I’m afraid for his safety, so if you love your cousin, you’ll watch over him and will do what I ask. I know you know better who Leo really is and you have to know that being in this kind of position generates a lot of enemies, so prevent him from going out. Capiche?”

An unimpressed Donny said nothing, but nodded, looking serious. That was enough for Raphael, who glanced behind him and saw his lover now standing beside Donny. Blue-steel eyes glared at him and his heart contracted, as he read the mute judgment they expressed: ‘It’s over between us if you leave.’ Raphael’s shoulders slumped at the reproach. He cared more about Leo than anything. Leo had become as essential to his existence as the primary need to feed himself. The son of a bitch was as stubborn as a mule, resentful as hell and was desired by many. Reconquering him would be as stressful as fuck. He had the impression to get up every morning only for that reason for weeks. He was getting used to it. He’d beg for forgiveness later. He had a plan to eradicate the threat, but it required outside help. He didn’t have a minute to lose.

He walked out of Leo's building with as much discretion as possible. His father could have followed him. Nothing was impossible with him. He wanted to be at least ten minutes away from his lover’s apartment before he responded to the paternal summons. He didn’t have a choice.

He’d replied to his father and had told him that he’d be there, at 10 p.m. and said nothing else.  Naturally, his father called him directly. Raphael couldn’t ignore the call without arousing suspicion.

His father asked him questions that were relatively easy to begin with and usual, like asking where he was and why the house was in such a terrible state. Raphael replied nonchalantly that he’d returned from a girlfriend’s house, had then had a party and he and his friends had drunk too much, made the mess and the housekeeper hadn’t come.

His father usually sighed and complained about his immensely disappointing offspring. Raphael was expecting it and wished to have that typical argument to distract his father from his plans, but Giancarlo Senzi attacked the heart of the matter.

"Do you know the boy whose picture I sent you?"

Raphael’s heart pounded. He didn’t dare to lie, fearing he’d lose credibility.

“Yeah, I know him,” he said, trying to sound casual. “He’s on the team and is the new captain. There have been several canceled practices, so I haven’t attended that many.”

“Captain? Wasn’t that your position?”

“Kind of,” Raphael said, remembering the frustration he’d felt for Leo at the time. But he could now admit that Leo was a better captain than he’d been.

“So you hate him? He stole your place. He seems a nice boy with better manners than you and must please the girls.”

Raphael didn’t comment. Anyway, it was only a statement and not a question.

“So you’ve seen him naked if he’s on your team?”

Raphael had a mental vision of his lover’s beautiful body that had been pressed against him earlier. He thanked Santa Maria that the interrogation was done via mobile phone, so his father couldn’t see him blush. Why was he asking that weird question?

Misinterpreting his son’s silence, Giancarlo Senzi continued, “I know you didn’t look at him, but you can’t fail to notice a large blue and red dragon tattooed on his back. That kind of tattoo doesn’t go unnoticed. Did you see it?”

Raphael hesitated about his answer. If he denied he’d seen it, he could briefly remove Leo’s threat, but he knew that wouldn’t last long. Someone would talk sooner or later and his denial would attract doubts.

“I couldn’t tell if it was a dragon,” he stated carefully. “But yes, it seems like he has a big colorful tattoo, but I don’t stare at my teammates in the shower!” he said, faking indignation.

His father seemed satisfied with the answer. It was indeed an acceptable one for the homophobic moron that was his father.

“The boy’s a serious threat. He controls an organization that’s very dangerous for us. I found a man, who knows all of his secrets. He’ll be at the meeting tonight. Don’t hesitate to shoot him if you see him. Anyway, he’ll be dead in less than a day.”

Raphael couldn’t help holding his breath. As much as the term ‘to shoot him’ made him tremble for his lover, as the possibility of finally knowing what was hidden by the latter lit him.

"I'll be there," he concluded, cutting off the communication.

His father didn’t try to get in touch with him again to his immense relief. His son was a little soldier to him. Hearing his news and wanting to see him again after almost two weeks of absence didn’t really matter to him. That perfectly suited Raphael. He was accustomed to his father’s cold treatment, but especially more in the present circumstances.

 

He had no money, but promised to pay the Anonymous he’d pay him back after he’d taken care of his business. In any case, the Anonymous was an idealist. Raphael’s project to take down such a criminal organization pleased him and perhaps Raphael could have gained his help for nothing at all. Only one hour and everything was already ready. He explained the operation to Raphael. It was indeed child’s play for a genuine and trained assassin like Raphael. The damage ratio was quite small, not having to go beyond the restaurant building, the Anonymous had promised. There’d be no collateral damage and so no loss of innocent citizens’’ lives. Leo couldn’t bitch about it. It was perfect.

Raphael’s project was simple. A bomb placed at a right place by his accomplice and a detonator that’d be at a safe distance away, He’d just have to leave the meeting and make it seem like he wanted to smoke outside. He’d don his suit, stash it in his car and place the detonator on the roof. Then he’d shoot the unlikely survivor of the explosion.

The plan was foolproof and Leo wouldn’t be in danger anymore. And he’d also be free. No more father to fear and who managed his life. And his mother would also be avenged. Reminiscences of the recovery house had appeared to him since the morning, stifling all remorse if he had any. He still seemed to feel the electroshock that had been used to condition his memory. Not to mention that he didn’t have to worry any more about his supplies being cut off. He’d gain his father’s fortune by right.

Leo and Mikey could even live at home. He smiled at the idea. He wasn’t as a rich motherfucker like the cousin was, but he’d still manage to give Leo’s little brother the care he needed.

It was 21:50 and Raphael couldn’t stand it anymore, because his nerves were shot. He’d written to Leo two hours earlier and hadn’t received an answer. The young black haired man was as usual sulking and cross with him. That wasn’t what bothered Raphael. Leo could sulk if he was safe at home. For the hundredth time, he wondered if the ‘awesome’ cousin Donny had managed to lock up his lover.

In his anguish, he was almost afraid of being watched and didn’t want to lead anyone in his lover’s footsteps. His equipment had been set up and his heart racing, he waited until it was 10:05. He didn’t want to arrive first, because he didn’t want his father to take him aside and question him in person. He thought again about his father’s crime that had destroyed his childhood. He didn’t want to be alone with the man. He feared that his rage, which he’d already contained with difficulty, would shatter his cover. He thought for the billionth time about the ‘revelations’ he was going to hear about Leo. An ambivalent feeling overwhelmed him every time. He dreaded his lover’s secrets and regarded them as possible obstacles to his happiness.

He typed a last message to Leo.  “ _Babe, I hope you're tucked in bed. We’ll meet again at school tomorrow. I love you.'_

In fact, nothing was less sure. Raphael couldn’t go to class and act like nothing had happened if his father died in an explosion. He had to show a minimum of contrition, but he couldn’t prematurely announce it. Besides, he needed Leo to know that if things went wrong he’d have died loving him.

Raphael shook his head. He was really becoming a sentimental dumbass. He looked at his cell phone, praying for an answer from Leo, but knowing he wouldn’t get one, because Leo was such a proud jerk. He couldn’t really blame him. In any case, Leo was as stubborn, smug and fierce as himself. It was probably the reason he loved Leo so damn much, despite the inflexibility driving him crazy.

10:05. All the curtains were drawn, preventing anyone from seeing what was going on inside. No cars were parked nearby and the restaurant seemed closed to any passersby, which didn’t appear odd, given how late it was. That didn’t prevent Raphael from pushing the door open. He entered, trying to look nonchalant. He could scarcely meet his father’s gaze. The man was sitting at the end of multiple tables that’d been pushed together to form one long one. The projection screen caught his attention and he saw an Asian man in his late twenties, who looked nervous. He was no doubt the informant. Raphael sat down at the end near the door, which wasn’t unusual. He often got up in a meeting to smoke and he hated being near his father. Giancarlo Senzi rose to begin the meeting when Raphael sat down.

Raphael didn’t listen, as his father discussed the murders, knowing the full story. He’d decided to stay for half an hour, needing that time to accredit his need to smoke. Nobody could smoke in Senzi Senior’s presence and only Raphael dared to get up during a meeting. He’d only have to play with his package for a few minutes, looking agitated, and then he’d get up. Nobody would question his departure, because he’d done it hundreds of times. He also wanted to wait, because despite his anxiety, he was curious to learn his lover’s secrets. He’d listen to the Japanese informer for fifteen minutes. Then he’d leave.

After his father had introduced him, the Japanese informer stood and tapped on his laptop that was connected to the projection screen. The first slide showed a mosaic of breathtaking photos of his lover. Raphael’s eyes widened in amazement. How had that man gotten the dozens of photos of his boyfriend? None of them were erotic, but they could only have been taken by someone, who was relatively intimate with Leo.

Raphael’s jealousy, always latent when it came to Leo, suddenly flared up. One particularly caught his eye. His lover was on a tennis court and was throwing his head back to drink water from a bottle. The young man was more tanned than usual and the sweat glistening on his muscles stood out with his white sportswear. Raphael’s instinct told him to leave before the man spoke, but he remained seated, hypnotized by the dozen pairs of mocking blue eyes on the screen. He knew he was going to hate what came next. The Asian guy clicked to go to the next slide, while Raphael heard as if he was underwater, the low protests of his father’s allies. It was the first time they’d had a PowerPoint meeting and the traditionalists didn’t approve.

Raphael heard vague comments about the photos looking like they were from a gay magazine, but everyone kept his verbal opposition to the minimum in Giancarlo’s presence. The second slide showed Leo from behind and looking over his shoulder with a smirk, a white towel wrapped around his waist and showing off the famous tattoo. The red and blue pigments seemed brighter than life and Raphael was almost tempted to move his hand to stroke the photo. Leo's black hair was wet and the water ran down his back. This photo, which had apparently been taken with Leo’s consent, seemed to have been taken when he’d emerged from the shower. Raphael’s stomach twisted with jealousy. The unknown man was intimate with his lover, probably more than him, who’d only taken a photo once when his lover had been unaware.

On the other side of the photo was a brief description of Leo and Raphael couldn’t help reading all of it. He was done with waiting for his lover’s confession. He needed to know the truth now even if it hurt.

**-HAMATO, Leo in America or Ryo in Japan**

**-18-years-old and five months.**

**-6'1**

**-195 pounds**

**-Marital status: single (officially) Sexual relationship with his suspected consort-**

**-Family: None**

**-Position: Supreme Leader of all Criminal Organizations in Japan.**

**-Code Name: Cho-San or Butterfly**

**-Skills: Knows many foreign languages (9).**

**-Exceptional actor**

**-Master in Ninjitsu and Seduction.**

**-Weapons of choice: Katanas / his body.**

**-Weaknesses: None known.**

Despite appearing to have been hit by an 18-wheeler, Raphael managed to reach the bottle of Sambuca. He poured himself a drink and took a long swig. He tried to tell his ears not to listen, but the Asian’s nasal voice still got through to him.

“I present to you your enemy and mine, Ryo-Sama," he announced with emphasis.

A Sicilian snorted with contempt and said, “We don’t care about the young mixed Jap and if he’s a bitch or not. We want to know who’s been murdering our clan members!”

The Japanese man insisted, “The man’s causing chaos and destruction everywhere he goes. If it wasn’t him, who pulled the trigger, then the murders were committed in his name. I assure you!”

Raphael flinched. That was indeed true. Feeling heavy skepticism from the other listeners, he refilled his glass. Were his fears of the last week founded?

“That’s impossible,” someone objected. “The guy’s eighteen and apart from being a handsome boy, he seems very normal. I can understand he’s his family’s heir, but he can’t control everything at such a young age when no one has ever heard about him as cute as he is.”

Giancarlo Senzi nodded, approving the objection and therefore didn’t seem convinced that Leo was a threat. Raphael hoped, insensible as it was, that this was all a misunderstanding and that Leo was only a normal and handsome guy and that the informant didn’t know at all.

"Ryo-Sama’s legendary in Japan,” The Asian said. “Having nothing to conquer there, he wants to extend his influence further and to extend his idealism. To do so, he must destroy the most powerful mafias in the world."

“Oh, yeah? And how does he do that?” another Mafioso said and laughed. He, like almost everyone, gathered there, seemed to regard the Japanese informer as a joker.

“By his charm,” the Japanese man said. Everyone burst out laughing, except the two Senzi’s for different reasons. The Asian guy, in front of so much skepticism, was carried away. “You didn't see him at work. Just by entering this place, he can seduce any of you. The next thing you know, you’ll be killing your own clan, mesmerized by his beautiful eyes, without him asking you a single thing. Ryo-Sama gets everything he wants without ever tainting his hands.”

Everybody was still unconvinced and chuckled again, as Raphael lowered his head more and more in shame and in despair.

“Basta!”

The whole assembly froze at their chief’s interjection. Giancarlo Senzi said when there was total silence, “We mustn’t underestimate the enemy. I knew this boy’s father. I killed him with my own hand. He was a dangerous snake, seductive and ingenious. From what I’m told, his son’s even more formidable and can target women, as well as men. He came here to seek revenge. Let our guest speak.” He looked at the Japanese man and commanded, “Tell them.”

The Japanese man eagerly complied and said, “In Columbia, Ryo-Sama’s seduced the biggest drug trafficker in South America. He made the owner of the land set fire to his cocoa plantation and destroy the stock that had already been produced. Then he committed suicide when Ryo-Sama left him anyway. His missions in Afghanistan, like in many Asian countries, have had a similar result. The drug barons love it, liquidate their stock and end up killing themselves when Ryo-Sama’s done with them. He speaks nine languages easily and has seduced many kingpins or their wives across the globe.”

Raphael’s heart shattered at the words and he bit his lip, so he’d keep his suffering quiet. The Sicilians around him looked at one another in dismay. One of them finally said, “But why destroy the drugs? Why didn't he appropriate it? It's insane."

The Oriental informer made a desolate gesture and said, “I don’t know all of his secrets. Ryo-Sama’s very mysterious with his schemes, but he disapproves of many criminal offenses. He released children subjected to prostitution in Thailand. He also condemns the murders. At least officially. He’s an apostle of peace and justice and this apparent honesty draws many disciples and the support of the media and the people in Japan. What I know is that his consort, Oroku Donny, is a very famous scientist. I hypothesize that he wants to destroy natural drugs and replace them with chemicals produced only in their laboratory, eliminating competition, but nothing is less sure. I hear very contradictory stories about the Oroku heir. He never let me approach him, being very cautious. Oroku Donny’s the brain of their diarchy and Ryo-Sama, the body, as much by the skill of combatant as a tool of seduction."

The murmurs were defiant. Raphael could have admitted that it made no sense if he’d had his whole head, like everyone seemed to think and deduced that it didn’t sound like the Leo he knew and it was therefore impossible. But did he really know Leo? And he had to admit that many points were accurate. Leo had seduced him and managed to seize his mind with disconcerting ease, because _he wasn’t his first victim._

Raphael had to regain his sense and admit the obvious. He’d been trapped. Leo didn’t love him and besides, he hadn’t claimed it. He’d reduced Raphael to the state of being hopelessly in love without any real promise. Only his conversion to a homosexual desire so quickly should have already aroused his suspicions. Leo was a fucking professional. The same kind of professional as the Russian femme fatale in the movies. Raphael had always been taught to be wary of feminine charms, but not from a hot guy. No wonder Leo wanted to publicize their relationship. It was all part of a devilish scheme to discredit and to destroy their family, like Johnny had predicted. No doubt, if the old Italian could speak, he’d have made fun of Raph. "I told you so, bambino." Leo wasn’t in love with him.

He only vaguely heard the informer warn his father’s men that there was a potential traitor among them. Raphael was done. He couldn’t be that heartbroken and fake attentiveness when every word from the man felt like he’d been stabbed.

Raphael left without being noticed with his cigarette pack in his hands. He didn’t even have to pretend. He lit a cigarette and took a puff. He’d been played like a rookie. The smoke accentuated the tingling of his eyes. He promised himself he wasn’t going to cry like a girl in front of his whole clan.

He was torn by so many feelings: devastation, shame, treason, jealousy. All his emotions consumed him and then another one, rage, flared up.  Someone had to pay for his disappointment! Eventually, it’d be Leo himself. He was going to sink his sai directly into his heart now that he knew what was really hidden behind the gorgeous face. He’d first complete his filial duty. No matter the lies and deceptions his lover had told and done, there was still the fact that his father had killed his mother, who’d been an innocent victim of another seducer. There’d be no witnesses of his shame. He’d annihilate the scene, where his illusions had died. There’d only be ashes of the restaurant and the intimate photos of his boyfriend in a few hours’ time. No one would see those blue eyes, the sublime body, the obsessive tattoo. He quickly crossed the street to where his car was. He promptly put on his suit in the back of his car. He inadvertently glanced at his cell phone before putting on his Kevlar hood. Still no message from the fucker. It was better that way. One more lie and he’d lose his damn mind. He climbed diagonally to the roof of the building and discovered his detonator, which he’d concealed under a tarpaulin. He had to hurry, before his father, suspicious of his absence, would bring someone out to see what his son was doing. In any case, he thought darkly, prudence was no longer on the agenda. He didn’t care about being caught. Nothing mattered anymore, he muttered to himself.

Suddenly, he heard a noise and felt a draught. “You,” he gasped, too carried away by indignation and anger to say anything else.

"I knew you were a murderer and a liar, but not a terrorist," the Ghost said in a low voice. Raphael stood up furiously, putting the bomb aside.

"I don't give a shit what you think of me! Get ready to die, Cho-San!"

"Cho-San?" the Ghost repeated incredulously, letting the tip of his katana fall, his beautiful blue eyes lined with kohl, widening in astonishment. "Nobody’s called me that since ...” His eyes suddenly looked horrified and he said, “Miyamoto Usagi, so it was true? You escaped from the sanatorium!"

Raphael frowned under his mask. He didn’t want to hear any words from the mouth he’d passionately kissed a few hours earlier. He was now cured of that unnatural love and he’d make the bitch pay for his duplicity. His brain encouraged him to skin the other man alive and he finally decided to listen to it. He drew his sai. He wanted to feel the sharp blade sinking into the adored flesh. Shooting a bullet into his head wouldn’t bring him as much satisfaction.

“Stop with your fucking bullshit. You’re going down, scumbag!"

Instinctively, Leo dodged all of his hits and managed to knock one of his sai off of the roof.

“You’re not Miyamoto Usagi. He’s six inches shorter than you and doesn’t know how to use sai. And you’re Italian! Why do you work for him?” Leo questioned. “Didn’t you know his conduct was dishonorable?”

“Shut up and fight!” Raphael shouted, not wanting to hear another word, another lie. He wouldn’t let Leo mess with his head again. He unsheathed his own katana that were strapped on the back of his black armor. He would behead the son of a bitch!”

"Why this sudden aggression? You're usually reluctant to fight with me,” the Ghost asked, while defending himself. "Since when do you know Miyamoto Usagi? Haven’t you seen that he's crazy? His mother had to place him in isolation in Novgorod to avoid retaliation in Japan. My cousin has followed his trail so far and wasn't aware that he was back. That man’s dangerously obsessed with me."

"Oh, yeah?" Raph sneered. “Kind of normal if you showed off in front of him when you came out of the shower and let him take sexy pictures of your naked ass!”

“That’s false,” Leo retorted. “If he has pictures, they were taken without my awareness. And how do you know who I am and what I look like?” he asked, his voice dripping with suspicion.

Raphael rolled his eyes. And Leo was supposed to be the leader of one of the most prominent criminal organizations?

"I recognized you right away, stupid, and then I unmasked you before I dropped you off at the motel," Raphael growled. To think he’d given himself so much trouble for the dirty little player, he thought, furious. Just thinking about this was riling him up again.

"Stop," the ninja begged, "Listen to me. Miyamoto Usagi’s unbalanced. During my trip to Japan, he fell in love with me. He killed opponents for allegedly pleasing me and tried to rape me after several unsuccessful attempts to seduce me. The pictures you’re talking about have surely been stolen! He’s an excellent hacker, but his craziness made him ineffective and we fired him!  He even simulated his suicide for ..."

Raphael cut him off and snarled, “Like all of the drug lords around the world.”  Leo’s blue eyes widened in amazement and he continued, “Yes. I know all about your victims in South America, Afghanistan, and ..."

Leo waved his hand to stop him, his eyes expressing incredulity. “In the country where I’m from, I’ve only been of age for a few months and my family wasn’t even that wealthy. How could I have traveled so much and alone in foreign places? In South America and Afghanistan? I don't even speak the languages!" Leo argued logically. “But what I want to know is ..."

 "You have nothing to know! Fight!” the Nightwatcher bellowed. Then, while he was fighting, doubt overwhelmed Raphael. Leo had taken Spanish classes in high school. He the least talented, having never had Spanish lessons, according to him. Similarly, when Raphael had babbled in Italian during their lovemaking, the young man hadn’t seemed to understand it when he was supposedly skilled in languages. Maybe he didn’t really know Italian and had pretended to be bad at Spanish for his cover? Leo was after all pure evil.

“I thought you wanted to avenge your mother and to protect the boy you were love with. Why are you suddenly so mad at me?” Leo asked. “You had me at your mercy and you refused to shoot! I came to tell you something. You hurt others, because you hope you’d dull your pain and that you’d feel better. Those men, who have children, will be orphans like you and me and the circle of violence and pain will never end! Violence isn’t the solution. Use your skill for a better purpose!” Leo yelled.

“I don’t want to hear any more of your lies,” Raphael growled. “Defend yourself if you can, but with your blade.”

“My lies? But we don’t know one another. I only spoke to you about my sick brother and that's the truth."

Raphael suddenly froze. It had been written on the slides that Leo had no family. Was Mikey not Leo’s brother? Not really considered his family by the Japanese man or was Leo telling the truth and the man was neurotic and crazy, because Leo had rejected his advances? Himself was acting as a fool since he knows him. There were too many gray areas and Raphael regretted having left the meeting so early. If he’d stayed longer he might have confused Usagi or Leo himself forever.

Raphael was lost in his thoughts. Leo saw he had an opportunity and Raphael not having time to dodge, was unable to prevent what happened. The next thing he felt was the cold February wind whipping his bare face.

But what was more shocking was Leo’s horrified face. His scarf had fallen and the other man could read the surprise of his lover.

"Raph, you’re the one, who…Who killed all of his people? And you plan to kill your father? And to kill all of his people ... With a bomb? "

Leo's face couldn’t lie. He had a real hatred of violence, whoever the victims were. He took no pleasure in the idea of destroying the Italian mafia. Raphael didn’t have time to develop his thoughts further. The next moment, Leo was no longer there. He remained paralyzed for a moment. Then he looked down and saw that the young ninja had crossed the street to enter the restaurant, where more than fifty men were waiting to shoot him. He ran after Leo.


	19. The painful wake-up

Raph fell heavily on his ankle but barely allowed himself more than a brief grimace of pain. Doubtlessly, he had hurt himself by dropping from below the second-floor balcony, too hurried to go down the fire escape in the traditional way. But he didn’t have a minute to lose. Leo would be shot at, the moment he walked through the door of the restaurant and, as impressive a ninja as he was, under no circumstances he could avoid the hundreds of cartridges that would be emptied toward him.   
  
For the moment, the revelations of the Japanese no longer mattered. Instinct dictated him to protect Leo, and under such dramatic circumstances, he allowed himself to be led by it. No matter what the dark-haired boy’s real feelings, real motives, and past were, he loved him and that was enough for him to want to protect him.   
  
Leo was just there, a few feet away, about to be killed. Raph ran faster, to catch him before Leo could go through the door. Even if without his mask, Leo would definitely fuck-up, or even end, his life by entering the restaurant.   
  
He managed to grab hold of a piece of Leo's suit in time, begging him to stop. The ninja turned briefly, without seeming to listen to Raphael's plea. The blue-steel eyes stared intently at him.   
  
This was the last thing he remembered with certainty.   
  
Then, it was all gone. He felt the ground vanishing, and was falling into a black hole. 

He seemed to see Leo in his dreams, extremely erotic dreams, but where the boy's face was masked. The dark-haired boy was thrusting back and forth into his body and his pleasure was on the verge of pain. He knew it was him because his body never reacted this way with another person and the ninja was so deeply rooted in his mind that only he could even monopolize his dreams.

Then the dream became monstrous and it felt like the bad trip he had once on MDA. There was a nightmarish vision of Leo, his pale body covered with blue and red scales and he was clutching him around the neck to choke him. He vaguely heard the young man beg him to leave, but all while tightening his grip. Then, the handsome teen screamed what seemed to be his name, but Raph could not be sure, as a flash of flame burned in his face.   
  
He woke up suddenly with a start, in what he quickly recognized as a hospital room. Nauseated and disoriented, he caught his head. He tried to balance things between dream and reality, trying to understand what he was doing there, what had happened and where his boyfriend was. 

He remembered with certainty that he had managed to reach Leo before his fateful entrance. He could picture it in his mind. But what had happened next? He could not remember anything more, and his head throbbed as he fought in vain to try and recall what had happened. Had he received a blow to the head? Did he have a concussion? It was possible.

Suddenly he realized that he was not alone in the room and that two police officers and a doctor were also present. Or maybe they just came back.   
  
"What happened?" he stammered. Anguish wracked him as he thought back to the probable carnage that must have taken place at the restaurant and he asked them in a shaky voice, "is  _ he  _ dead?"   
  
One of the policemen nodded slowly and Raph felt his heart tear apart. He had failed to protect the man he loved. Nothing made sense anymore and his nails pressed into his own skin, choking a silent roar.   
  
“We could not do anything,” the doctor informed him. “By the time the emergency services arrived at the scene, the heart attack had prevailed and he had already died.”   
  
Raphael, despite his distress, opened his eyes wide. How could a young, fit boy like Leo die from a heart attack at the age of eighteen? He did not understand.   
  
"Your father," continued the policeman, "was the only victim last night, and although his death appears natural, we have some questions for you.”   
  
A glimpse of hope took Raphael. It was not Leo who had died, but his father.   
  
He frowned, trying to focus in order to remember the events. Immediately, a sharp pain shot through his head. Whenever he thought too much about the events that had happened earlier, what seemed to be a horrible headache prevented him from going deeper into his memories.   
  
He listened to the doctor explain that he had received an injection of an unknown anesthetic, which he wanted to study.   
  
Raph didn’t give a fuck about the chemical; he only wanted Leo. The death of his father disturbed him very little. As far back as he could remember, the man had never really acted like a father to him. The threat to his lover was fading away and that was all that mattered. 

But he had to see him again.

Anxiety was gnawing at him. He had no idea what had happened and he needed to make sure that the damage to his and Leo’s relationship was not irreparable and that the handsome boy was fine. Later, he would ask him questions; for now, seeing Leo again was the top priority. 

"How long have I been here?" he asked abruptly.

“You’ve been in this bed, unconscious, for ten hours,” the doctor informed him and Raph frowned. “Am I hurt? How did I end up here?”

“A call was placed for an ambulance around midnight. You were found alone with your father, who was already dead. You have no physical injuries but, as I told you, drug you were injected with is…” the doctor began, but they were cut of by Raph.   
  
“So, no reason to keep me here, right? I can go?” he questioned sharply, one leg already out of the hospital bed.   
  
The doctor, dismayed by the lack of consideration the young man seemed to have for himself, not to mention his obvious lack of grief following the death of his father,glanced at the NYPD agents present. Silently he implored them to help.   
  
"No, Mr. Senzi, you must first tell us your version of events," one of the policemen clarified.   
  
Raph replied as briefly as he could to the thousand questions the police asked him. They made him repeat most of his answers, either in order to take note of his statement or else to provoke contradictions; he wasn’t too sure which. Either way, his impatience grew and he could barely restrain himself from sending them off and running away. 

Luckily, the side effects from the injection of whatever it was he had received, were not known and he could credibly answer that he did not remember anything much. He told them he did not remember accompanying his father for the Sunday closing of the restaurant. Despite their lack of satisfaction with his answers and his stubborn tone, the police had no choice but to let him go, slipping him a business card in his pocket.

Raph miraculously found himself out on the pavement only three hours after waking up, after swearing to kill everyone if he was not let go and insisting he was perfectly fine. He had been given his belongings but without any weapon. Had it been confiscated for the investigation? Mysterious. He would worry about it later.

Immediately, he took his cell phone in hand to text his friend, who had been only his only concern since he had woken up. With panic, he noticed that not only their conversation history was erased, but also the photos of Leo and his number. Of course, as the good slave to the technology he was, Raph could not remember his lover's number, no matter how hard he wracked his brain.   
  
He tried to calm himself. Obviously, someone had tried to annihilate all traces of Leo from his cell, but nothing prevented Raph from going to the handsome young man. No matter what obstacles Cousin Donny could put between them, nothing would block Raph’s path.   
  
He did not have his car or any money on him and, despite the feeling of vertigo he'd had since waking up and his aching ankle, had no choice but to go to Leo's house on foot. He ran, the best he could, pushing people on the sidewalk out of his way without caring. No doubt he was going to make his ankle worse, but his anguish was more tangible than the pain. 

He arrived in front of Leo's building nearly twenty minutes later. He did not ring directly at his lover’s apartment though. If Leo was furious, he would know it was Raph downstairs, and ge preferred to surprise him. So he rang another resident instead.

“Yeah, I’m the guy from the cable company, Mr. Oroku asked us to check everyone's facilities,” he replied, talking through the intercom. 

The name of the owner did wonders and Raph heard the door unlocking with an audible click. Heading inside, he went straight up the stairs, in spite of his increasing nausea and stopped at the top, breathless.

The door to the apartment that had been occupied by Leo and Mikey the day before, was wide open, revealing an empty living room. Empty was perhaps an exaggeration, most of the furniture still being there, but it was covered with protective sheets and there were no more framed photos in the room. 

He entered and opened the doors to all three chambers.

All Mikey and Leo's personal belongings were missing and, he supposed, also those of Cousin Donny. The only proof that Raph had that he had not dreamed the existence of the handsome black-haired teenager, was the plant that he had given Leo, which took advantage of the scant February sun, abandoned.

Raph refused to be discouraged, while quickly descending the stairs the way he had just come. There were still possibilities, lots of possibilities to find his boyfriend. He even refused to apply the word ‘ex’ to his boyfriend. Leo had to have done the math in his head and understood that all the atrocities Raphael had committed were not really his fault, but rather the result of his mafia education and his passion for the Yakuza. He had only done what he had to in order to protect him.

He had to make sure that Leo understood him and that they had moved didn’t mean that there was no hope. Maybe it had nothing to do with him. Maybe Cousin Donny had decided on a move to protect his cousin.

No, nothing was lost yet.

For example, he told himself, checking the time on his cell, classes had not finished yet. He only had to wait for Leo at the end of classes. Now that Cousin Donny was there to watch over Mikey, Leo did not have to miss any more. He would trap his lover in a corridor and kiss him in front of everyone. His father was dead and he didn’t give a damn of the others opinion. Let them come and taunt him, or Leo, to his face, see what happened then. Yes, if he could see his boyfriend alone, the misunderstanding would dissipate quickly. He was convinced it must have been Cousin Donny who had set Leo against him, the dirty jealous bastard.

Plus, Casey still had Leo's number on his cell phone, did not he? As would a bunch of their mutual friends. As if just erasing Leo’s number on his cell alone would prevent Raph from joining his beloved! They didn’t know him at all if they believed he would give up so easily. 

Yes, surely his lover, stubborn as he was and probably still shocked at the revelation of the Night Watcher's identity, would not answer him, but Leo would surely read any messages he received. And Raph needed to have at least the illusion of being able to pass on his message of love.

Or if it came to it, he told himself again, Elena would know where Leo was now. The girl hated him, but, she could tell him Leo’s location, even if she wasn’t only a beard. Raph had never believed in their relationship, but the fact was that the young Italian woman seemed to believe it. He had always believed that Leo maintained his ties with her as another way of manipulating and hurting him. 

Had Leo made contact with the pretty brunette, now that he thought himself ‘free’? Raph wondered, grinding his teeth. Or without Raph, did he no longer feel the need to keep her as an alibi?

Never mind, as a last resort, it would be a trail to follow, he told himself. But if he could see his lover face-to-face, it would be even simpler.

All these thoughts had run through his head as he stood, panting and limping, on the sidewalk. He paused to catch his breath and think about what to do to be as efficient as possible.   
  
The school was far, and his ankle was still suffering. Having no car nearby, no money and no time, he hailed a taxi and offered the driver his expensive watch, which he had been given by his father for his sixteenth birthday, in exchange for the three-mile drive.   
  
As soon as he was sitting in the car, he texted Casey.   
  
_ "Hey, did you see Leo? Did he come to class today?" _ _   
_   
He bit his lip impatiently. Casey had to be in algebra at the moment and the teacher was ruthless about texting in class. He was ready to increase the code 911, to indicate the urgency of the situation, when he finally got an answer from his friend.   
  
__ "No, man. There was a Japanese guy who came to get his stuff. Seems he won’t be back at school. What happened?"   
  
Raphael uttered a vicious curse in Italian, making the driver jump; but the driver had seen and heard worse, and kept going.   
  
He did not even bother to answer Casey. Going to the high school would be useless if Leo wasn’t there. He ordered the driver to change direction. He had to go home to do a search; a search he should have done well before.   
  
When he arrived home, he felt strange when he saw his father's suitcases, still packed, in the hallway. His parent, seeing the disorder, had probably turned around and called a cleaning team right away. 

Raph turned his thoughts away from the mental image of his father and looked around.

The house was now immaculate, but suddenly it gave him nausea. There were too many bad memories and tragic events that had taken place between these walls. Yes, he had had the night with Leo, but that notwithstanding, there was nothing that made him not want to burn everything up to the joists of the ceiling. And, admitting that there was no longer any night with the black-haired boy, he no longer wanted to lie down in that bed, tormented by eternal regrets.

He had to sell, get money for this house, and settle down in something smaller... a simple apartment for three. He would not abandon Mikey to Cousin Donny, all rich and doctor that he was. He would take care of the boy as if he were his own brother and Leo would finally be at home, independent and not hosted by a perverted cousin.   
  
A more precise thought came to him and he ran to his cell phone, plugging it in. He had a lot of research to do on Donny Oroku, doctor, researcher, philanthropist, building owner and second in command of The Foot apparently. When you're so famous, so rich and so powerful, Google had a lot of interesting information to reveal.   
  
After two hours of intensive research, notes taken and a few phone calls, Raph, his father's brainless execution arm, had a whole plan. Although Donny had an IQ of two hundred and twenty and had obtained a doctorate at the age of thirteen, he did not have the passionate love that animated him.   
  
Wherever Leo was, cousin Donny was surely there, watching over him like a vulture. Raph would not hunt Leo. He would track down Donny, a much more flashy prey.


	20. Cousin Donny

Raph had had a lot of relationships, of all kinds. 

As the only son of a great mafioso, he cultivated his friendships more with fear, money and power, than his charming personality. Moreover, in a few days they would be going through the notary for the transition of his father’s property; he would no longer have the bridle on his neck, dictating what he could do with this money. He had no idea of the exact family fortune, but contenting himself until then with the credit line his father had granted him.

As soon as he had full access to the accounts, he would have no qualms about spending a great deal of it to unearth all the dark secrets of the great philanthropist, Donny Oroku. From the beginning, the guy had annoyed him. Okay, basically his dislike was due to jealousy, but Raph would bet that Leo's cousin was hiding something.

In fact, everything had been strange from the beginning, he thought, sitting down in his father’s office chair, staring into space as he recalled what he had known for a long time and what he had just learned in his research. 

Raph wanted, with all his strength, to believe Leo had told him the truth, that Leo and Donny’s fathers were friends, considering themselves brothers, and so his friendship had grown with the young Japanese man. Until Donny had abused the friendship of the younger boy in the meanest way, Raph remembered, clenching his fists. Ashamed, Donny's father had gone to America.

The question was, why America? Why had Donny's father not just sent him to boarding school in Japan?   
  
Then, from what Mikey had revealed to him, it seemed that Donny and his father had quarreled and the young man had remained in America, building a pharmacological empire. This was something Raph had just learned; he had thought Donny a simple doctor, but the reality was much more complex.   
  
Donny, he now knew, was the sole founder of the company ‘Harutori’, which specialized in the research of vaccines against epidemic diseases. The health benefits achieved in Third World countries, thanks to the discoveries of Donny's company, were impressive. In the same way the nine-figure fortune of the Japanese man, that Raphael had discovered, was a little frightening,. 

He frowned, thinking of Donny's assets. He hoped Leo was not materialistic because even if his father's fortune was double his most optimistic aspirations, he could never compete with such indecent incomes.

Suddenly, a thought came to him; the famous unknown product in his body, which had also interested the medical staff, could only have come from a syringe handled by the one he considered his rival. His last memory was Leo in front of him and not at his back. But, obviously, he had not been alone. And if Donny had been present and well prepared... 

His presence had been anticipated, Raphael realizes, if not by his lover, then at least by the doctor! Of course; this Donny was a clever son of a bitch.

And Raph would have sworn on his mother's grave that the doctor was also guilty of annihilating all traces of his boyfriend. Maybe Leo and Mikey had been dragged away by force and he was holding them almost prisoner. Raph’s imagination made him picture scenes where, using the erotic ropes, Donny kept his lover in bed. 

A vein fluttered at his head at this thought.

Yes, Leo was being held against his will somewhere in the city and the evil cousin had to be using Leo's younger brother as a tool for blackmail. Perhaps he was planning to bring him to the island that the boy had told him about; though Raphael did not know exactly where that was. If he did not act quickly, his beloved would disappear from the surface of the globe. Donny was rich and powerful enough for that.

The rest, Leo and Mikey had told him in a few short sentences. Mikey was sick and his mother dead, Leo had no other choice than to ask for charity from his wealthy cousin, in order to pay for the necessary care for his young half-brother.   
  
Leo kept saying Mikey needed to not overly exert himself and that his health was shaky. So, quite logically, despite being a doctor, Raph could not imagine that Donny could go to a distant island in the Pacific with a dying boy, right?   
  
He did not know why, but thinking about Mikey always made him wince. The boy was pale and rather puny, but he had never considered his lover's little brother to be dying like Leo seemed to believe. He did not really remember hearing him coughing or having trouble breathing. Leo had told him the name of his illness, but he had been high that first time at Leo’s, and so today he could not remember. It was a shame because he would have liked to read the symptoms or complications related to the boy’s condition. But he had to admit, the little one seemed to lack only for clean air, sun, exercise and good meals, composed of fresh vegetables and not frozen minute-meal crap. 

But he rejected that thought; it seemed the boy was certain to die and Leo was to lose him soon. They could not lie. No need to linger more on that. He had to find where the doctor was nesting.

After a few phone calls, it was easy to discover the buildings belonging to the doctor. Frowning, he read from the bottom of the list of thirty-two buildings. He unfolded a map of New York and analyzed, with as much seriousness as a criminologist, the location of each one of them.

Most of them were relatively close, but he concluded that if Donny wanted to keep Leo away from him, he had to look for the furthest quarters from his previous home. His finger touched a building in the heart of Tudor City, perhaps the quietest neighborhood in Manhattan. Donny, out of pragmatism, should not have gone too far from his workplace, the medical pathology center, which was, he remarked with a smile, just a 5-minute drive away.

"Bingo," he said to himself.

In addition, Unicef, an organization of which he was one of the greatest benefactors and several posh Japanese restaurants, were also in the immediate vicinity. It was, in all likelihood, the place most likely to house his lover.

When he looked up the area online, he found that several condos around the building were for sale or for rent. The prices were astronomical. His father probably hid a few thousand dollars at home, to have some liquidity, but until he went to the notary, he did not have the financial means to afford to move. And even less to make a mistake.

He looked at all the shops around the pathology center. The Dunkin Donuts, next door, would be a place where he could stay all day, with little to no questioning, and he could always pay off the staff to leave him be. But it would be difficult to make any observations from there.

He tried to remember the doctor's work schedule, but since the doctor had been in Tokyo for more than three-quarters of his relationship with Leo, he had to admit he was no longer certain; and there was no guarantee that it wouldn’t have changed since then anyway.

No, it was useless to stalk the doctor. He was certain of his facts and confident that this was where he would find the love of his life. They said in movies that you could feel where the loved one was and the churning in his stomach at the precise moment couldn’t lie.  

He looked back at the map once more.

Just across the street from the building was a park where Leo would probably get Mikey to get some fresh air. It was perfect, and he decided he would rent an apartment when he could. He traced a heart onto the map with love using a red pen, around the building where his boyfriend was surely held, restrained and forced to bear weird foreplay.

Raphael dismissed this angering thought to keep his mind focused on his real goal. Then, he brought the map to his lips, imagining those, so sweet and so desired, of the young man with dark hair.

"Soon, Leo, I will come deliver you from Donny’s grasp"

 


	21. The Tudor Tower

On Tuesday, February 14, Raphael tried with all his might, to forget that it was Valentine's Day. Thinking about it being Valentine's Day, and considering his empty bed, was too painful.

He had not been to class since the day he had been drugged, and Leo disappeared. He knew it was important to Leo, but the priority was not to get some piece of paper telling him he’d graduated, but to get hold of his elusive lover. He could not focus on two goals at once. He was leaving school. Once he’d found Leo, then he could go back to it again.

Raph instead spent the day harassing the notary, in order to at least have the legal possibility of putting the family home on sale. It took hours but eventually, the notary grew tired and gave him an appointment after official office hours, at 6:30 pm.

Glad that something was finally going his way, Raph then brought in a real estate agent. He rubbed his hands with delight upon learning that, from his home alone, he could raise thirteen million dollars, more if he sold the furniture his father had ordered from the best Italian craftsmen. This was his intention; Leo had not liked the intricate and baroque style of his home, he had noticed.

But that was not all. He was planning to sell the restaurant too.

With the money from these sales, along with his father's money, he would have enough to be able to make Donny very much regret taking Leo.

At the rendezvous with the notary, he had first to undergo the condolences of the lawyer. He interrupted them with a wave of his hand.

The death of his father left him with a strange sensation, a disorientating void in which he did not wish to linger. It was like standing on a precipice; it made him dizzy. The man had never been fond of him, but he had controlled his life so much in recent years that to no longer have that shadow lingering over him, breathing down his neck, was destabilizing.

During the reading of the will, he was shocked to learn his father's fortune, outside of their home, belonged to Johnny Useful. But since he had disappeared, the notary had learned, and so everything returned to Raphael, by default.

He regained control of his breathing a few moments later. If he had not killed Johnny himself... But it was mainly the thought that his father had despised him, to the point of almost disinheriting him from beyond the grave, that had shaken him.  
  
The fortune of his father held had been less than he had hoped though, only 3.7 million.

Needing all the money he could get his hands on, he had already ransacked the house from top to bottom, in order to empty it of all hidden money before it changed ownership. He found twenty-eight thousand dollars, hidden in two boxes of cigars in the attic. It was more than enough to tide him over until his father's fortune was his, and to put his plan to win back Leo into action.

He had also decided to get rid of his car. The Alfa Romeo was too flashy and with less than six months of wear and tear, he could get a good price.

His bike, on the other hand, he was keeping. It was stealthy and to his knowledge, neither Leo nor Donny had seen him on it. The warmer seasons were approaching, the snow almost having disappeared, so he could be satisfied with the motorcycle or the public transport.

After signing the papers making him the rightful owner of his father’s legacy, and despite being told he would have to wait three more days for the accounts to be unfrozen, he went out.

He texted one of his acquaintances to meet him at the Beer Bar, 9 pm. It was a busy but relatively anonymous joint near Tudor City, not at all Leo's kind of place. This still didn’t prevent him from turning his head in all directions, hoping to see the cherished ebony head. There was no sign of him of course.

Raph had eaten nothing all day, having had too much on his mind, his nerves on edge. But now the business with his father’s accounts was settled, he ordered an IPA and a hamburger, while he waited.

His contact joined him, his pace hurried, wearing ordinary clothes and an expressionless, unremarkable face, like any good informant. As soon as he was seated, Raphael, who had had a very busy day, discreetly slipped him an envelope.  
  
“Twenty thousand to begin with, as agreed,” Raphael told him bluntly, getting straight to the point. “Twenty thousand more when you’ve finished, plus travel expenses, if necessary. I need to know everything about these people."  
  
He handed over the first picture, taken from Leo's little brother’s Facebook. Raph had initially searched for his lover’s name, but had not found anything; but then he had thought of the kid, a boy who was deprived of human contact and had nothing to do. In a frenzy, he had searched the pockets of his dirty jeans until he got his hands on what he was looking for.  
  
On paintball day, Leo had worn tight pants, pretending to be efficient or comfortable for the game. Raphael had masturbated that very morning thinking back to that moment, when he had got a good look at his boyfriend’s ass. Leo had also worn a leather jacket, very trendy, but the only pocket was shallow; he’d only had space to put his credit card. He had asked Raph to carry his little brother's medicine.

He found Mikey's real name on the bottle label; Michael Neville. With suspicion, he noticed that one of Mikey's pills was still in there. Analyzing the product could be wise.

He did not find anything on Facebook at first, until he came across an ‘MCMikey Neville’ with Batman as a profile picture. Certainly, despite being diabolical, Cousin Donny had not thought of this possible window into the world of Leo's little brother, who, likely due to lack of attention, had made his profile accessible to all.

Excited, Raphael had then seen the many photos decorating Mikey’s account. There was a mugshot of the kid and, with excitement, he realized the boy was a fan of photos. The last four years of the kid's life were certainly well illustrated. And, feeling moved, he found that Mikey’s big brother was, after Mikey himself, the kid’s favorite target.

With his throat tied with emotion, he saw Leo at fourteen years old, skiing with Mikey. Leo and him in an amusement park eating cotton candy. Leo at the beach. Leo and his first car. Leo at his prom. The list went on.

Exalted, Raph had saved the most beautiful onto a USB key, for printing in high resolution.

One photo, in particular, caught his attention though, showing them with a beautiful woman of around forty, blonde. It was one of Mikey’s last entries, in December. He deduced that this must be related to the death of their mother.

It was this picture he showed to his informant.

“The kid, the young man, and their mother. I need to know everything about them. The young man with black hair, especially. Their names are here. The mother had obviously died last December, but I want details. The young man, Leo, is supposedly a leading head of the Yakuza. But I doubt it."

He slid the man the second picture, showing the back of his lover, as Leo threw an indulgent little smile over his shoulder to the photographer. Mikey had commented on it.

_'My brother came back from Japan with this mega-cool tattoo. I want one too!’_

Leo had to have ignored or been unaware that his brother had a Facebook account and had published this photo, because, no doubt, he would not have done so, otherwise.

His informant nodded and was about to put the pictures and the envelope in his jacket when Raphael stopped him.

"They are not alone there. There's this bastard too.” He handed out the clearest picture of Donny he had found. “Be careful, this asshole has cash and power. I need you to look into him too, all with the utmost discretion.”

He held out the pill pot with Mikey's name on.

“You must not call the doctor who prescribed this medication; It's the same bastard you're investigating. But find out everything you can about the drug inside,” Raph instructed. “I need everything you can get, pronto. As soon as you have managed to accumulate more information, you send it to me at this email.”

The informant asked some routine questions about the information Raph already had, such as the known places of residence of the last five years. Raphael took the opportunity to explain that he wanted information back as far as 2006; this was the year Donny arrived in New York according to his calculations, shortly before the death of Raph’s own mother.

The man nodded, promised news within the week, and after downing his beer in one, he got up.

Raphael ordered a second beer while daydreaming about the most beautiful photo of Leo that Mikey had posted. Raph had not commented on it, as he had not sent the boy a friend request. Donny needed to remain unaware of what he was doing. In the photograph, Leo practiced a kata with his double katanas, his breathtaking musculature well in evidence. The photo was only five days old. Mikey had commented with one: _‘Sorry girls, this handsome guy is taken’_. Was the boy referring to him? Raph wondered.

Suddenly, his cell vibrated, identifying the incoming call as coming from Casey. He did not want to deal with an interrogation, but, depressed, he answered all the same.

"Yeah?"

"Raph! How are you, man? I just saw Hamato and... "

Raphael spat out his beer, choking and trying to catch his breath. Leo? Casey had seen him? He barely managed to squeak a "What?"

"Yeah, Valentine's Day, don’t you remember? He was there."

Raphael was hyperventilating as he rushed to the exit, having left a $50 bill behind to pay for what he’d had. He watered his friend with questions, frightened.

"He was waiting for me? Did he talk to you about me? Is he still there? Why did you not call me before?”

"Well, actually, he was with Elena, but, I think... he was looking for you. In any case, he looked nervous."  
  
"And where is he now? Why did you not call before, asshole!" Raphael bellowed loudly, ignoring the members of the public on the sidewalk, while speeding up to get to his car.  
  
"Because it was the feast of love or whatever,” Casey told him. “They confiscated our cell phones at the entrance, along with our coats. To not break the romantic atmosphere, or something.”  
  
Raphael put his head in his hands. All day long, he had drawn up plans to find his lover while the man in question simply went to the dance as planned. The dance that Raph, in his frenzy, he had totally forgotten about. It was as though they were star-crossed lovers!  
  
But why did Leo go to the ball with Elena?  
  
"When we came in, April and I, he was already there. I looked for you, but when I didn’t see you, I went to talk to him. He told me you broke up,” Casey told him, seemingly reading his mind and answering the unasked question. “I don’t understand, man, you really seemed to love him. Did you find out you weren’t gay?”  
  
Raphael just sat in his car, his head against the steering wheel. Broke up; the words haunted him and he hit his forehead on the wheel a dozen times before answering his friend, his throat tightened to the point that each sound made him look like razor blades.  
  
"Is he gone? Did he tell you anything else?"  
  
"Not really. When I asked him why you broke up, he said that you didn’t really like him and that you weren’t compatible anyway."  
  
How could Leo dare to pretend he did not really love him?  
  
"He didn’t stay long; he danced with Elena three times and then left. I pretended I had to smoke in order to get my coat back to call you,” Casey continued, not hearing Raph’s psyche being torn apart at the other end of the line. “When I got out here, I saw some guy waiting for him in a car. I can’t believe he's already replaced you, man, but you're right, Elena was just a beard or something. I don’t even see why he bothered going to the dance with her."  
  
"He did not replace me, asshole! It's his damn cousin, who manipulates him and holds him in hostage," he retorted aggressively.  
  
"You can do what you like with your cousins, Raphie, but me, I don’t stick my tongue in the mouths of my relatives. And, as for a hostage, he looked pretty cozy with his torturer," Casey had responded with a touch of sympathy.  
  
Raph felt his heart disintegrate, an astronomical cold invading his chest. He had stammered an "Anything".

"Sorry, man,” Casey had answered sympathetically. “But I wanted to tell you, so you’d know."

The cliché comfort sentence burned him like acid.

\---

It had been six days since, like a fool, he had lost the opportunity to see Leo. Since then he had not seen even a shadow of the little sexy ass, whose image kept him awake at night.

He was in an apartment he was renting, opposite the building where Leo now lived, with his 125x-zoom binoculars, and a bottle next to him to pee in so he wouldn’t have to leave his post too often, and still he had seen no sign on him.

Raph was going crazy, imagining the worst erotic scenarios unfolding behind the closed shutters.

Raph had much trouble having nothing else to do than scanning the housing tower opposite. Not going to school definitively was not. No; the real sacrifice, as vain as it seemed, had been to cut his hair.

For the last five years, he had kept it mid-length, most often tying it in a ponytail; he adored the barbarian-divinity look it had given him, when combined with his musculature. Unfortunately, his hair distinguished him too much, even from a distance. Only adding lighter or darker highlights would never have been drastic enough. He’d had to sacrifice his hair in order to stay incognito, to be able to subtly approach his lover without attracting the attention of his Cerberus.

So he had gone to the barbers the day after that damn Valentine's Day ball. He had not slept at all that night, of course, not after Casey's revelations. The fact is that, sitting at the barbers, he found a thousand reasons to excuse his lover. Worried, he indifferently instructed the barber to give him a fashionable cut, different from what he had, and to change the tone of his hair slightly, darkening it a tone or two.

Leo seemed to like what was trendy. Unlike Cousin Donny, with his first-class nerdy cut from a science-expo. Raphael needed to please his lover.

He did not even look at himself in the mirror as his golden locks fell cascading around him. He could not see anything, his eyes turned inward, unable to stop himself from repeating the moment Casey had described. He might not have been there, but, unfortunately, he could imagine it all too well.  
  
The Japanese cousin and Leo kissing in the car. The son-of-a-bitch’s gross tongue twisting in his lover’s mouth, tasting his sweet taste. The warmth of Leo's body against the cold skin of the doctor...  
  
It was a nightmare.  
  
It could not be true! Casey had made a mistake, it was the only explanation that made any sense to Raph.  
  
Leo had told him that there was nothing sexual between him and his pseudo-cousin. The last time they had made love, the doctor had been in the room next door! If Donny loved Leo so much, he would not have supported it, right? For Raph was sure he could not have endured hearing, on the other side of a thin wall, the man he loved moaning in pleasure in the arms of another.  
  
Unless, unless... it was a sordid machination from the beginning and their fucking was just collateral damage in Oroku's diabolical scheme. The Japanese man had supported him, because it had been him who had initially ordered Leo to seduce him.  
  
He shook his head, not caring about the barber’s disapproval "tsss".

The very idea was crazy. It was imperative that he see Leo, to clarify all these areas of uncertainty.

Why had not he confronted his dark-haired lover as he held him in his arms? He should have extracted the truth from that beautiful mouth when he had the opportunity. He did not know what he had prevented from it. Pride? Denial?  
  
And maybe it was too late...  
  
With rage, Raphael had dug his nails into the chair. But when the hairdresser had finished, he had momentarily forgotten his anger at the sight of his absurd reflection.  
  
His first thought was to take the barber by the collar and to stick one to him, for having made him look such like a fag. Then, he closed his eyes, judged himself hypocritical and stupid, and he counted to thirty. He left without a word and with his Beckham hairstyle, the likes of which you would see in an underwear ad.  
  
It was after that he had rented the apartment, picking it specifically because it put him right in front of what, after careful reflection, had to be where Leo lived; at least according to his careful research.

He had managed to locate, on the website of a real estate agent, the plans for each apartment in the building. He knew the apartment had to have at least three bedrooms. The penthouse was by far the most likely, given the number and division of the rooms. So he’d had no choice but to find something as close to the same level as possible, in the tower opposite, even if it cost him dearly. He considered it something of a miracle the building didn’t belong to Cousin Donny.

But since then, he had been gnawing at the bit, anxiously wondering if he had made the right deduction. He had seen no evidence of anyone living in the apartment, even though he hardly ever moved from his post, and Raph wondered if Leo lived there or, in a lower apartment, not needing three bedrooms but rather just two...  
  
Raphael refused to think about it; imagining the intertwined bodies of his lover and someone else's was too unbearable for him.  
  
He stretched, his stiff muscles and questioned again whether it was worth the trouble.

He had not spoken to Casey since Valentine’s Day, despite his many calls, no longer wanting to hear that pouting accent from his best friend. But he knew what he would say to him, even if he did not want to hear it.

‘Move on.’  
  
It was the voice of reason, but he could not do it. Leo had entered his life, destroying all that had once haunted him with the fury of a tank. Without Leo, he no longer saw meaning to anything. He did not know if it was only sentimental shit, that he had created himself to comfort himself, but he had convinced himself that, their parents having chosen freely, they were made for each other, from all eternity.  
  
If it wasn’t for his father, he and Leo would have been close for a decade.  
  
As he cracked the sore muscles in his neck, he felt discouragement seize him, as it had more and more often in the last two days.  
  
Although he knew that Leo did not approve of drugs, filling the unbearable waiting moments with something, was necessary for him. He needed to not feel so weak and hopeless.  
  
He would stop after.  
  
It was not, after all, like he was really addicted. For Leo, he had stopped for the last two weeks, right? This was only an interlude.  
  
Unfortunately, he remembered that during his previous take, he was at his last bag. He had to restock. He grabbed his phone, in order to reach his usual supplier, Pete, whom he told to meet him in the park opposite.

He waited another quarter of an hour, allowing the dealer time to arrive, then, grabbing his new coat and sunglasses, he went out.

It was Monday at the end of the afternoon and it was very mild, forty-eight degrees Fahrenheit, the snow having almost melted everywhere, already giving an early spring feel to the city. The park, despite the apparent destitution left by winter, promised to be beautiful when spring actually rolled in.

Raphael, however, was not really looking around, but rather staring at his shoes, which sunk into the damp, spongy ground as he walked. There was no sense of humor for this hasty spring, the clemency of the weather and the sweet song of the birds reminding him that this season was also that of love. The weather was like an insult to him, reminding him more cruelly of the emptiness of his bed and his life.

Pete arrived and loudly reproached his client for his choice of where to settle down and, bemoaning that he had to meet him in such a bourgeois neighborhood. To better illustrate what he meant, he pointed to a group in the park.  
  
More automatically than out of real interest, Raph turned around and his breath caught in his throat.  
  
Leo was wearing only his thin synthetic leather jacket, as he rolled Mikey in a wheelchair, his beautiful raven hair shining in the sun, giving it almost bluish tints.  
  
Mouth agape, Raph stared, amazed, for a long time, detailing his ex-lover from head to toe, as if to make sure it was him. Then the spell broke when another face entered his field of vision.

Donny was there and he boldly put a possessive hand on the shoulder blade of the other young man.

Raphael held back his movement of almost instinctive rage, that made him want to seize the cousin, arm-and-body, and push him as far away as possible from Leo.

He turned, determined to control himself, to preserve his cover, for the sake of their future happiness.

Frantically, he seriously considered asking Pete to simulate a heart attack, in order to divert, for at least a brief moment, the doctor's attention to him. Then maybe he could slip a few words to his former boyfriend, but there was no time, Pete's face writhing with repulsion.  
  
“Uhg, Raph, you moved into a fag neighborhood.”  
  
Raphael closed his eyes, refusing to be part of the scene the dealer had probably created, he had no desire to see the reactions to Pete’s remark, particularly fearing that Donny might kiss Leo right there in front of them all.  
  
When he opened them, he saw the Japanese man passing by without paying him the slightest attention. With Raphael’s short, dark hair and his new coat, and in this neighborhood, with Don sure he had hidden his cousin well, Raph was not suspicious, even with his same build. Though it must be said, that the stress of the last week had made him lose at least fifteen pounds. He was slightly less bulky now, and even his jaw seemed less square because of it.  
  
He saw the cousin doing something his cell phone and turned around discreetly, so as not to meet the doctor's gaze.

Instead, he turned to watch his beloved lover who had missed him so much. Never had a sight appeared more beautiful and endearing to him, than that of the two brothers, so disparate, catching some sun in the park. He stepped forward, hypnotized, but resumed brutal contact with reality when the nasal and jerky voice of the Japanese man reached him.

“No, I told you that I'm retiring. Cancel all appointments beyond February. I'm finishing my records this month and then it's over. My wife cannot stand New York and me neither. We leave the country in the spring. She wants to see the cherry trees blooming.”  
  
Stunned, his heart frozen in his chest, Raph did not even delude himself about the identity of the ’wife’ of the scientist. Under this discreet name, Cousin Donny had hidden the handsome male who was rolling his brother's chair, pointing to a black and red bird. The warm weather, so early in the season, had revived migratory birds quickly.  
  
"Hey, there's a cat who’s forgotten his lunch," said Pete carelessly, Raphael having totally forgotten he was even there. “I’m off, see you, pal.”  
  
Raph's gaze followed that of the drug dealer and he saw a heartbreaking sight.  
  
A blue jay lay on the ground, uttering almost inaudible plaintive screams; a portion of his wing had been torn off, along with a little flesh from it’s back.

Touched, as much by the fact that he was now emotional, as by the situation itself, especially with a bird that’s coloring reminded him so much of his lover, Raphael leaned delicately to collect the wounded bird in his large hands, after having droped in a garbage can the now useless drug.

Without thinking, he went straight to the two brothers and kneeling down, to be at Mikey’s height, he handed the bird to the blond boy.  
  
“Hey. You look like a good kid and you seem to like birds. Take care of him for me, will you?”  
  
The little boy turned quickly to his big brother, begging permission.  
  
Anxiously, Raphael looked up at him too. Mikey, strangely, did not seem to have recognized him, but the other man's rigid posture seemed to indicate otherwise. It was to be expected; Leo had seen him much closer after all.  
  
In a neutral voice, Leo thanked him and taking the handles of the wheelchair, told his younger brother they were heading home. Leo seemed deaf to the protests of the kid, who rightly raised the point that they had been out for just twenty minutes. Mikey insisted that it would be almost an hour before Donny returned and that they had the opportunity to stay outside.  
  
Raph quickly looked up to see that, finally, his guardian angel had struck; the cousin was out of sight. It was providential. But what the kid suggested proved that Raph had guessed well; it seemed the scientist, without preventing them from going out, restricted them.  
  
Leo went to turn the wheelchair and Mikey began to loudly verbalize his disagreement, with an unusual spite.  
“Hey, your brother loves you,” Raph said firmly, impulsively interfered, unable to keep himself from intervening at the disrespectful attitude. “You are lucky. He knows what's good for you. Trust him,” Raphael told him, wanting to prolong the moment, but without imposing himself too vigorously, knowing his restive lover and that their cousin was perhaps not so far away.  
  
It cut off the boy, who, while caressing the bird, silently scrutinized the man who had just addressed him so seriously.  
  
"Yes, I love him," said Leo, indifferently, at least to all appearances, "and although he complains a great deal, he trusts me. Let's go, Mikey, take care of this bird. You know how important each life is to me.”  
  
Anger made the blood buzz in Raphael's ears.

Damn his camouflage, Leo had recognized him, anyway. Leo was being unfair. The hidden accusation bristled him with rage, and he recalled the words of his ex-boyfriend to Casey about the lack of sincerity of his passion and their incompatibilities. Leo’s and Donny’s fathers were both Yakuza chiefs, with probably much more blood on their hands than himself. Leo, since his trip to Japan, was no stranger to this truth. This veil of morality horrified him.

"Fuck you, Fearless!”  
  
Leo ironically raised an eyebrow to the unusual name, without being surprised by the insult. But Raph wasn’t going to let himself be thrown off.  
  
“I did it out of love for you! To protect you!” he raged. “It may not have been the right way and I probably should have talked to you about it, but I was scared, okay? Fear for you! Because you think you are invincible and you are not, Leo! That's why I didn’t want to show off with you! I didn’t want to draw attention to you and put you in danger. Not because I'm ashamed, okay? It's not like your pseudo-cousin, with whom you pretended nothing’s happening, and who just pretended that you were a woman, his wife!”  
  
Raph, now, trembling with anger and forgetting all prudence, tore off his sunglasses in order to look the other man straight in the eye. He was almost foaming at the mouth and his jealousy, which his helplessness had held back, exploded to its full potential.  
  
“Yeah, let's talk about trust! I didn’t go dance with a chick and then french kiss my fake cousin,” he growled.  
  
“Raph?”  
  
The squeak, incredulous and delighted, came from the younger brother and Raph, if he was not so furious, could have found that happy reaction at seeing him, cute.  
  
Leo remained stolid, not denying or refuting Raph’s accusations; and to Raph's immense distress, his ex-lover simply turned his back, going to wheel Mikey away.  
  
He could not help but stretch his arm out to touch Leo on the shoulder, to force him to look at him again, even if those eyes were only hard blue glaciers.  
  
“I love you.”  
  
He was too upset to say anything else; the situation, his jealousy, all driving him crazy. He was walking around blindly, not knowing what he would be up against next time they met.  
  
His arm fell limply in the face of Leo’s arctic gaze and he lowered his head. Raphael did not have Leo’s eloquence. His anger, fueled by his disappointment, was coming back, making him clench his fists. If Leo did not want to understand, then he was not going to like him from the beginning. He had to stop making a fool of himself.  
  
“Prove it.”  
  
Raph looked up sharply at the dry command.  
  
“What?” he stammered, not certain he had understood correctly.  
  
"Prove it to me," the other young man said distinctly.  
  
“But how... I...“ the Italian-American began, perplexed, but his heart was beating rapidly again in the face of this permission, to try to win back his lost lover.  
  
But, without saying one word more, Leo nervously turned his back on Raph, before wheeling his brother away, leaving him full of questions and hope.

 


	22. A love letter from the Nightwatcher

Raphael pondered Leo's words. 

‘Prove it’.

But how? His ex-boyfriend was kept more closely protected than a president. Instinctively, from the beginning, Raph had known Cousin Donny was worse than his rival; he was his enemy, his nemesis, his Lex Luthor. He had a lot to do to be forgiven by his lover but if Donny got wind of his maneuvers, the doctor would do anything to screw them up, that was for certain.

Unless, by then, Raph could find something to bring down the son of a bitch. But his informant could not give him anything for several more days and he was tired of waiting.

But how could he prove his love to Leo if he could not approach him, speak to him, or even write to him?   
  
Creativity was not Raphael's strength. Yes, he painted and drew with a certain degree of talent, but he could never have been considered a precursor in this field. Only his ability to recreate a great likeness of his subject was remarkable in his works. And, anyway, sending a drawing to Leo would be a pitiful, and almost certainly doomed, attempt. Cousin Donny would probably open any envelope addressed to. Besides, such a thing would be within the means of any sentimental dumbass and prove nothing.   
  
No, nothing that directly addressed the other young man could work. 

Even assuming he would able to pass the maximum security surrounding his former lover, he had to find something that would touch Leo deeply. And Raph had to admit, he could love Leo madly, but he did not know him at all.

He did not know where the weakness was in this brazen soul. There was his little brother; Leo was crazy about the boy, but Mikey was no more a master of his own movements than his big brother.

Raphael frantically typed on his cell phone, searching like a man on the eve of Valentine's Day in hopes of finding something that might please his beloved. But nothing could apply to a Yakuza chief, jealously guarded by his number two. 

He was not going to send Leo a singing telegram.

He momentarily considered paying a pilot to hang a banner on his plane, but what if Leo did not see it? What if the cousin did? Plus, there were lots of Leo’s in New York and also, this one didn’t seem to appreciate monetarily expensive tributes. Anyway, in terms of cash, Cousin Donny could crush Raphael overnight.   
  
He had to find a way to invest himself personally, without costing a lot of money and while still being discreet enough that Cousin Donny would not know anything about it.   
  
Then, suddenly, while he was looking at the news on his cell phone, he had an idea.   
  
Donny might be unaware of the name ‘Nightwatcher’ and perhaps he did not know that Leo was called ‘The Ghost’. His lover and his younger brother seemed to live in a fantasy world where nice paladins came to protect the widow and the orphan. 

If he became a superhero, as the Night Watcher, his future good deeds could compensate for his past crimes. He could leave a message, a business card, naming himself and quoting The Ghost as his Muse. Leo would know it was him, but not the cousin; and his boyfriend would see his efforts to make amends! And it cost nothing! He even had the equipment already!

He had no idea what it would take to become a superhero, or how to go about it, but enthusiastically, he set about developing a plan of action.   
  
After hours of scouring the news, he came to a conclusion. There were damnable crimes everywhere, without a regular boss. Raph thought it might be best to just go outside and wait for the criminals.   
  
A few hours later, dressed from head to toe in his Nightwatcher gear, he realized something. The megacity of crime in New York was hyped and blown out of proportion by the media. At least, as far as Manhattan is concerned. He had not witnessed any crime yet.

However, he could not walk the streets stupidly, pacing up and down the sidewalk in his paraphernalia. He had left his firearms at home, since it was a defense that Leo abhorred. He had only kept a hook and rope, as well as accessories for his signature.

He was a superhero, so he did not have to be armed in an offensive way. He was equipped with a grappling hook because Batman had one, as crazy as that reason was. Mikey loved Batman and Raph had to admit that when he was young, Batman had been the only one he had loved.

But the fact was that, dressed head-to-toe in black, with a grappling gun, he could not just wait in Times Square for an attack or an armed robbery.

He had no idea what had happened to his father's clan. No one, since the death of Senzi senior, had tried to contact him. He, therefore, had no privileged information about the criminal activities of the Sicilian mafia.   
  
Suddenly, an idea came to him. He did have inside information about at least one aspect of crime in the city: the cocaine trade.   
  
Raphael had been such a good customer for over three years, he knew almost everything about it. Knowing himself to be a formidable criminal, the dealers were not very discreet about the workings of their business. He did not know everything, but he knew where there was an illegal drug lab in Lower Manhattan, well hidden in an unmarked building.   
  
An anonymous phone call, revealing the address to the cops AND journalists, just to be sure his homage to Leo would be transmitted, would be easy. He didn’t even have to show up.   
  
So that's what he did. April's father was a journalist. He had the girl’s home number saved in his phone. He called, holding his breath in excitement.   
  
Naturally, at 11.30 pm, it was the journalist who answered, sleepily, the girl already having presumably gone to sleep.   
  
With his transformed voice, Raph advised April's father that he intended to notify the police about a clandestine laboratory. He presented himself as the Nightwatcher, who was there to protect the citizens of the city, in order to redeem himself for past crimes, out of love for a ghost; he declared that every night from now on, he would walk the streets to defend justice. 

Of course, he knew that April's father would take him for a madman, but maybe he would move anyway. Otherwise, he would know the next day that it was true and that it was indeed the police’s mysterious informant who had telephoned him.

Raphael decided to wait a quarter of an hour before calling the cops.  He would use the time to leave his mark.   
  
Vandalism was bad, but Raph did not have a choice; a clear message was needed in order to minimize the chances that his actions could goes unnoticed. As he reached the building with the hidden lab, he took out his bottles of spray paint.   
  
‘For you, Ghost. Nightwatcher.’

Next to these words, he quickly drew a black silhouette of Ninja from behind, double katanas on his back, looking over his shoulder, a familiar attitude from Leo. Then he had made a heart, as cutesy as it was, and had signed his work with two interlocking sais. It was crystal clear. Maybe it was even a little too much, but it was going to make the media talk and that was what mattered. He got to show off his talent and it added a touch of romance.

As soon as the work was finished, he took a picture of it, just in case, then made his anonymous call to the police. Excited, he did not wait to see the result of his machinations and returned home, on his bike.   
  
Once in his apartment, he stared eagerly at the windows of the building opposite. No light came from it. His ex-lover had to be asleep. He too should rest a little. He swallowed three sleeping pills and fell asleep with a light heart and a smile on his lips for the first time in a long time.

\---

He awoke the next day at eleven o'clock, his head heavy and his mouth filled with cotton, somewhat disoriented. Then, the memory of the day before came back to him and, as if something had to have changed, he rushed back to his observation point to look at the building opposite.   
  
The curtains of the largest window were open, but that notwithstanding, it was just as it had always been. There were no streamers, no banner reading ‘I love you, Raph’ hung there and in his naive spirit, he was disappointed; although admittedly, to have hoped for so much was a utopian fantasy.   
  
He turned on his cell phone to read the news. 

With a shark's smile, he noticed that ‘his’ story had hit the headlines. April's father's article had sparked a number of comments, most of which concerned the sexual orientation of the ‘Nightwatcher’.

Raph frowned. How important could it be whether he's gay or not, if he just wanted to work for good? But then he remembered himself in early January, shouting his disgust for homosexuals at Leo. He had been so stupid at the time!

He was suddenly discovering how unfair a label could be, how heavy a burden to bear and he blamed himself for all his insults and the brutal way he had treated many people in the past, in high school. He now had a taste of his own medicine and he found it bitter. He was shutting down a hub of the narco-trafficking network and the only thing people were only saying was that if he was a homosexual, he didn’t need to parade it around.

If Raphael had acted only for the citizens, he would have put away his Batman paraphernalia and let go of the whole thing. But he had done it to prove himself to Leo. He did not care about the opinion of Mr. Smith.   
  
He wondered what Leo was thinking at that moment. Had he seen the news? Surely, because his former boyfriend seemed to follow it very diligently. And no doubt Leo was shrewd enough to understand that it concerned him. On the other hand, Raph wanted the doctor to be too busy to stop at this news item.   
  
The day was spent waiting. Raph was distracting himself from his nerves by looking at the NYPD website for the statistics of each district to find out the crime rates and the types of crime.   
  
Raphael wanted to strike a big blow and was looking for something that required more personal investment than a simple denunciation. He was thirsty for action and danger. He wanted to stop a murder, a rape or a robbery. 

After having analyzed the maps, he deduced that the Bronx was the best place. He would not be in his comfort zone, however, so he decided to take the subway for a reconnaissance tour during the day.

So he spent the day walking, dressed lightly in a jacket because it was nice out, happy for the chance to stretch his legs and breathe clean air. He then went around the plausible criminal zone, analyzing the area, the choice of exits he could use to flee before the arrival of the police. 

Satisfied, he returned home.

In the building opposite, nothing had moved, and although he knew his disappointment was irrational, he could not stop tears of frustration from rising. Then suddenly, he spotted a movement. 

He adjusted his binoculars. He noticed a blond head pass quickly, before starting to close the curtains. Leo's little brother took his time, and Raph noticed his Batman t-shirt. Was it a wink for him? He had no idea, not daring to hope. But just before the curtains closed, Mikey took the time to greet Raph with a raised hand.

Did he have an ally in that place? Mikey had always seemed to like him. Or at least, enjoyed Raph’s cooking skills. But would he take Raph's side against Cousin Donny?   
  
At the same time, while Raph was still recovering from his surprise, judging that Mikey's gesture had to be a good sign, his cell phone chimed, informing him he had received a new email.   
  
‘Analysis of drug: the pill consists only of a sugar substitute, like a placebo.’   
  
Raph looked up at the window where Mikey had been a moment before. His medication was not real. Which meant that either Mikey was not sick or Cousin Donny did not care about his survival. 

He had to notify Leo as soon as possible.


	23. Declaration

When night came, Raphael had gone on a mission, but his mind had been elsewhere, wondering how to warn Leo of the danger that might be threatening his little brother? How to get past Cousin Donny’s supervision? How even to get past the suspicions of Leo himself?

Leo was now so distrusting of him. How could he convince him of the truth of his claims? Leo knew he hated the scientist deeply and would think it a desperate attempt on his part, to discredit Donny and reconquer Leo’s heart.

He could not blame Leo. It was true that he was ready for anything to win Leo back. Not to mention he had often lied to his ex-boyfriend, just like Leo himself. But this time it was real.

Raphael could not believe the cousin could sacrifice Leo's little brother. If he really liked his cousin, Donny had to know it would break Leo's heart. Yes, the kid could be a bit of pain in the ass, but he was endearing and his older brother loved him.

No, there was only one possibility and Raph had suspected it from the beginning. Mikey was not sick.

Raph had always sensed as much in some deep part of him. The little one, when treated like a regular child, was just like every normal kid. Raphael did not remember hearing him a cough or doing anything that could prove he was sick or even weak. No, Donny did not want to kill the boy, otherwise, he could have given him much more harmful pills. But he sacrificed Mikey all the same; he deprived him of a normal childhood.  
  
Leo had said he had come to New York because he could not pay $300,000 a year for meds. That night, he had been high as a kite, but he remembered the sum well because it had seemed so extortionate. His own father would have let him die rather than spending as much money for him.   
  
Donny, knowing that Leo was a penniless orphan, had attracted his ‘cousin’ with the money he had made from his pharmacological empire and his medical knowledge. He must have had accomplices though, because the night Leo had been drunk on sake, a doctor had told him Mikey was not doing well.

Yet Raph had found the kid quite energetic for a dying boy.

But this hypothesis raised other questions. The mother of the two brothers had died at a very opportune moment. Could that mean Leo's mother's accident had not been one at all? And Leo had told him that she worked in diplomacy. How could she not had left them any financial legacy? There was something fishy going on there.  
  
Raph, before concluding anything, had to be sure of his theory and have more convincing proof than an analytical report for one pill.

His informant had told him he was going to Canada, and then to Japan, and that he not be able to give him any new information about Leo and his mother for three days. Except for the analysis of the drug, he had found nothing particular about the cousin. Nothing Raph didn’t already know.

But the informant swore that after Japan, Raph would know everything there was to know. So he could hope to have incriminating evidence within a week.

Never had seven days seemed so long. What he wished was to find the Japanese guy his father had recruited. Okay, the guy seemed to be a nutcase, but not at all fond of Donny-boy. Perhaps this man knew the Oroku well enough to have spotted a weakness while he had been stalking Leo.

He obviously couldn’t use his investigator, but maybe he would be able to find the man by himself.

\---

  
His rescue mission went smoothly.

He had first contacted April's father again to tell him that the Nightwatcher would play vigilant again that night.

He stopped a robbery at a gas station. He cared little about being seen, in fact, it was perfect. The guys made a run for it as soon as they saw the bulky masqued man, presumably assuming he had had the same idea as them.

He knocked them out, some violence was acceptable, after all even Robin punched some Villains, and then tied them up.

He handed the stolen money back to the cashier and told him to call the cops only when he was gone and to say that it was a Nightwatcher's present to the Ghost. The cashier nodded and Raph disappeared, proud of himself. Serving the good was very rewarding, but he had to do something else. A small flight over less than $1000 would not make the mainstream press.

He crossed the boroughs of Queens and Brooklyn in the same way, stopping a robbery and rape, before speaking the same cliche to the witnesses.

It was late now. He had not done anything so remarkable, but quantity had to count for something.

Seeing the cops pass, he told himself he had to find a transmitter to put on the same frequency. That way he would be aware of all the criminal activity throughout the city. Then he would only have to arrive before the police. This would save him time and he would be much more efficient.

He went to bed quite satisfied, convinced that perhaps, even without making the headlines, people would talk about him and Leo would know.  
  
The next morning, he was not happy watching the news. A report was devoted to him and even his message for the Ghost had been filmed by the security camera at the gas station. The journalist questioned his audience about who the now famous ‘Ghost’, who aroused such heroism, could be.

Raphael rolled his eyes, embarrassed, despite being alone. It was not heroism, he had not even risked his life. Working as an executioner for his father had been infinitely more risky, even though he had been heavily armed.

Full of hope, he glanced back at the building facing his, though he did not know what he was hoping for.

The curtains were open, but where Mikey had appeared last time, there was no sign of life. How far were his ex-lover and his little brother allowed to freely move about? This idea made him particularly mad as he began to imagine his former boyfriend as a  prisoner and a sex-slave. 

Disappointed by the lack of any response or reaction from his former lover, he told himself Leo was probably not convinced or that, by bad luck, had not seen the news.

Tonight he was going to hit hard, he promised himself. He needed to earn some points before telling the Leo the whole truth.

\---

It was early morning and Raph just managed to get back to his apartment, before losing consciousness, after another night our as the Nightwatcher.

He should have gone to the hospital, but he did not want to answer any questions, nor to be hospitalized and therefore unable to watch Leo’s building. In any case, he would still had to have gone back home to remove his armor first.

Driving his bike across the city had taken all his faculties and he had left a trail of blood in his path.

  
He had time to call his friend, Kevin, the gunsmith and cosplayer, who had texted him after recognizing his Kevlar armor on television. Raph had just redone a helmet from a quality cosplay of G.I. Joe Snake Eye. Kevin made tack and weapons as a hobby in his spare time, but his real job was nursing. Casey was still his best friend, but in his current situation, he had to let a few people know what he was up to as possible. Besides, Casey could barely peel the tape from a band-aid, while Kevin could give him stitches.   
  
The armorer came into his apartment and found Raphael had fainted, not having removed his mask. He quickly shook him awake. Raph blinked blearily up at him, barely managing to remain conscious.   
  
“Shit, Raph, you have to have lost nearly half a gallon of blood! What made you play the hero? I thought you were in the opposite camp!” he asked in a hurry, but without expecting really an answer.   
  
“It’s my business. Just stitch me,” Raph managed to answer, despite his reckless appearance.   
  
He had aimed big, in the hopes of making the headlines; he attempted to stop the trafficking of what he suspected to be drugs, at the docks. Unfortunately for him, it was weapon trafficking.

Despite his armor and all the ninjutsu Leo had taught him, a bullet had pierced the kevlar on his chest, probably weakened by the stabbing he had received in the same place, just before. He’d still had time to throw the cargo into the river, after knocking out, and tying up, everyone involved. He called the police, despite the burning pain. Raph was not a delicate guy but this time the pain was intolerable

His nurse friend reassured him. The bullet was shallow and had not reached any vital organs. The stabbing was deeper, but he should stay out of trouble with a rest of a week, at least.  
  
"I can’t allow myself a vacation," Raph grumbled, in spite of his cadaverous pallor.  
  
The other man sighed.  
  
“Do as you want, but if you want to play vigilante, you need stuff other than your forks and a damn grapple. Do you think you going to swing from roof to roof like Spiderman?”  
  
Raphael was suddenly inspired by the sneering of his friend.  
  
“You're right. Do you have shurikens? Do you know how to handle this stuff?”  
  
“Not so much. They’re more used as a distraction, but you could make use of them," he explained. “If you know how to aim, and I know you know, and you know which points to attack... Hitting some strategic places may prevent the enemy from running or fighting back. Then, you will have the advantage of surprise working for you, Sure, no one in New York uses these things from medieval Japan seriously. But yeah, I can check into this for you and bring you a dozen tomorrow.”   
  
Raph regretted not having accepted Leo’s offer of a shuriken lesson. He had to admit that all the defense blocks and attacks his beloved had taught him had been helpful. If Raph had followed his lessons for six more months, he would have been formidable, he was certain.  
  
He watched as his friend pulled out the reel of fine thread and had to fight fainting again, as Kevin stitched him up. Even in front of an old acquaintance, Raph hated to appear weak, agreeing to drop the mask only for Leo, on occasion.  
  
When he was changed and declared out of danger, his friend left him a dozen painkillers. Raph, after his friend’s departure, was able to drop his stoic mask and swallowed two at once. He dragged himself to the window and sank, without knowing if it was into sleep or unconsciousness.

\---

  
The next day, Raph refused to take the pills, despite his pain, and instead turned on the television. He had not abandoned cocaine, just to start abusing morphine.

He was shocked when he turned to the news channel. The death of Nightwatcher was announced.

One of the bad guys, who had been arrested after Raph had left, was boasting that he had certainly killed him. The police confirmed that there was a lot of blood that didn’t belong to the criminals, having been left as evidence. Thankfully, Raphael had never got caught before and so had no files. But from now, he had to be more careful.

  
Raphael didn’t know how to take the news of his supposed death. The only question in his mind was how Leo would react. Sad? Relieved? Had he even made the connection?   
  
Raphael had risked his life in his desperate attempts to get his attention. Was all this in vain? How could he know if Leo forgave him and considered him to have sufficiently proved himself? Leo never seemed to get out of his damn apartment and did not send him any sign of life.   
  
However, he knew his ex-lover was the proverbial mule.. Three days of playing the hero probably did not seem enough to him. He wanted to see if Raph would get tired. Leo wanted to see how far Raph’s commitment toward him would go.

This knowledge dictated a course of action. He was going to continue for another week, the time to would take to receive information that could incriminate Cousin Donny. Then if he had to, he would stumble into the building across the way and make such a scandal that Leo would have to come down from his fancy apartment just to make him shut up. To be subtle and patient for him was already a big effort. And he was getting tired of it, not to play the hero, but of wondering if his lover was still keen on him.

His chest hurt terribly, because of his injury, and his pessimistic thoughts did nothing to help him. He struggled against his addictions all day long, until finally taking a morphine pill just before allowing the exhaustion to take him.

\---

He chose the Lower East Side as a place of surveillance. This portion of Manhattan Island was a slightly risky area, at least the night. Any average New Yorker with insight could walk around without too much trouble, but that was not the case for tourists or idiots.

He wouldn’t get to make any big-shot rescues there, but this place had the distinct advantage of being only ten minutes from his home by motorcycle. And he was tired and not feeling well.

Demoralized, he had only made it down the street that afternoon to eat a kebab. This, along with two Corona's, had been his meal. Leo's indifference or stubbornness had cut his appetite.

Had Leo even loved him? Had he just been pretending? Was this all only a game to the other young man? All his thoughts were driving him crazy today.  
  
He was hiding on a roof, watching the horizon. There was nothing in sight, but it was still early.

In a bad way, but refusing to take any drugs, Raphael decided to allow himself at least one cigarette. His body screamed for some relief and anyway, that bastard Leo was not there to see him.

"You know that if you light up that smelly nicotine stick, I won’t kiss you?" someone said, as he was pulling his Nightwatcher helmet off his head.  
  
He turned around, not believing his ears, nor his eyes. Even with the voice changed by a scarf obstructing the mouth, he recognized it, distinguishing it from the thousands of other voices in the city. He dropped the cigarette eagerly.

Leo, standing in his light black scarf, looking at him. He had an ironic gleam shining in his blue eyes, hemmed with kohl, which he could see between the strips of fabric half-hiding him.

“Leo!”  
  
Raphael rushed to him, arms outstretched as if to catch the Ghost before he could disappear once more, like a mirage. Leo allowed himself to be seized, just as he allowed Raphael to lower the scarf concealing his lips.   
  
He hesitated a microsecond before crushing his lips on Leo’s, while making sure to keep the more frail body up tight against him, to prevent Leo from escaping or running away. But that was not the case. The Ghost, with enthusiasm, let the Nigthwatcher's tongue to caress his own and did not offer one iota of resistance.

Raphael took advantage of the permission he had been given, compensating for weeks of stress, by caressing Leo, pulling him against him and almost choking him.

Leo finally, rested his hands on Raphael's chest, just wanting to breathe.  
  
"I'm glad you're doing well. On the news, they did not give many details about your body. What exactly happened?”   
  
Raphael had no desire to speak, especially not regarding the fiasco from the previous day, having other plans for his mouth. But at the insistence of the other male, he yielded, telling the events as succinctly as possible.   
  
"You're an idiot," Leo said. "Even if you do not intend to use your weapons, you have to wear them for the deterrent effect. You see? I have my katanas. Everything is in appearance. What exactly do you have?" He asked, tilting his head to the side to look critically at Raph   
  
Raph did not want a ‘Vigilantism for Dummies’ lesson, nor did he make an inventory, but he knew that his boyfriend was sensitive and loving to play the demagogues.   
  
"Sais, grapple, rope and shuriken,” he enumerated summarily, yielding to Leo’s request.   
  
Leo's eyes rounded.   
  
“You refused to learn shuriken! You don’t even know how to throw them! Did you change your mind? And why a grapple? This thing, with your weight, could not get you up to fifteen feet a minute. Completely useless. It weighs you down!”   
  
Raph did not want to discuss his equipment choices. Leo's criticisms and mockery inflamed his blood. This desirable body was two feet from his, and he only wanted to hear sighs escaping from that mouth. He did not dare to reply, but rolled his eyes dramatically.   
  
“Hey! I say that to help you. I don’t want a beginner as a sidekick.” Leo said, winking.   
  
The green eyes shone. Acolyte was not lover, but it was still a partnership. He tried to control his face so he would not look pitiful to the point of being knocked down by this promotion.   
  
"How did you find me first, Sherlock?” he asked to change the subject.   
  
Leo looked embarrassed for a moment.   
  
“When I erased my number and messages from your phone, I connected our phones together. I always knew where you were,” he replied, slightly flushed.   
  
Raphael swung for a moment, between anger and joy. All this time, the son of a bitch could have reassured him. But the fact that he had connected their phones proved that he mattered to the other man, that Leo cared.   
  
“Why have you…?“ Raphael stopped when a violent wind came to make Leo shiver.   
  
He approached and took the ninja in his arms once more.   
  
“You can give me lessons. We are in March and its freezing, and you go out,  dressed as a belly dancer,” he joked.   
  
Leo raised an eyebrow at the comparison. “Bring up the heat then,” he proposed mockingly.   
It was a proposal that Raph did not need to hear twice.   
  
He threw Leo against the brick wall of the roof and reluctantly took off the scarf covering his lover's head, followed by the multiple layers of fabric around his chest. He bit and licked every newly revealed piece of skin, all while undressing himself. He had been right, his lover was mind blowing with his eyes circled with an eyeliner. He did not care if this mental statement made him an even more gay. Leo was beautiful and consenting in his arms, with the most gorgeous bedroom eyes he had never seen.

He would have liked to have the patience to be tender, but he felt incapable of it. Anyway, he'd noticed in previous relationships that Leo was more enamored by intensity than softness.

“When I'm done with you, Ninja, you won’t have the strength to do flashy kicks,” he growled.  
  
Leo let out a crystal sounding laugh. “Some promises…”   
  
Raph was completely naked in less than a minute and Leo tenderly stroked the bandage covering his left chest and shoulder.   
  
“Battle scar... I have one too. In the same place, by chance.”   
  
With Leo’s body was uncovered, Raph discovered that his former lover had gotten himself a new tattoo, representing a bamboo. He thought with emotion of the plant he had gifted him. Had it guided his friend in his choice of design?

He would ask questions afterward. What mattered now was that he dives into this beloved and offered body.

When Leo was naked too, he took him in his arms again and lets his partner wrap legs around his waist. Tightly close, Leo would not be cold and besides, Raphael wanted to feel it as close as possible after their weeks of separation. The position was in danger of aggravating his injury, but he did not care; Leo's icy skin worried him more.

He tried to prepare his partner somewhat, despite his impatience, and the lack of lube forced him to take his time. He knelt down, Leo still in his arms, his lover gently sucking his fingers at his silence request. He kissed him once as he pulled them free from between Leo's lip and, with his now wet finger, he softened the muscles encircling his intimacy.

When Leo was finally ready some painfully long minutes later, he plunged into his body with relish. He kept one arm on the wall, while holding his lover tight against him with the other, to keep his back from being scratched by the brick wall with each thrust. The wind was still cold and sharp but  Leo was so hot there.

His lover groaned, piercing him to the core with those mesmerizing blue eyes of his, electrifying him. He had so missed Leo’s well-hidden heat.

Despite his chest feeling as though it was tearing open, he continued to thrust, delighted with the sounds from his partner and wanting to draw more from him.  
  
Leo seemed less in control than usual, letting himself go as Raphael had never seen before, repeating his name as a litany, as malleable in his arms as a doll. Leo was no longer cold and Raph’s gut grew tighter; he was close and, knew, by spasms waving through Leo’s body, that his lover’s orgasm was close too.

Leo had never climaxed it so fast and even though he was only one thread away from the implosion, as Leo spilled himself over both their abdomens, Raph decided to control himself.

He did not know if Leo was also having sex with the cousin, but he was determined to show that he was a better lover than Donny was, even though he did not use a rope or whip or any other unnecessary perversions in love.  
  
On the other hand, he knew that his wound had reopened, feeling the blood running out. Not wanting Leo to see, he lowered Leo to the ground, slid free of his body and quickly turned him around to face the wall.

Leo gasped in surprise at the abrupt change of position, but Raph was pushing back into his body again before he could remark on it. Raph positioned himself to hit Leo's prostate from behind, determined to snatch a second orgasm from his lover before allowing himself to be carried away.

The snapping of his body against Leo's flesh made him feel explosive, his senses were sensitive because of his latent orgasm, which he was still trying to suppress. Under the stars, only on this roof of the building, he could hear nothing but the sound of rattling flesh and their gasps combined. There was no little brother in the next room and Raph had a great time expressing his satisfaction. He wanted Leo to completely lose his mind.  
  
He grabbed Leo’s sex and began to stroke him in a frenzy,   
  
“Give me another, baby,” he begged, feeling his self-control slipping.   
  
“No... not without you,” Leo managed to articulate between two moans.   
  
When he felt the sex twitch again in his hand, instead of uttering a liberating roar, which could have cause a riot in the building beneath them, he bit with all his strength at the hollow of his lover’s neck, finally being overwhelmed by the wave, allowing it to crash upon the shore.   
  
Feeling weak himself, he struggled to keep his partner from falling. He let himself fall slowly to the ground, still holding Leo. With a languid hand, he brought his suit and Leo's to cover the young man, to keep him out of the cold for the time it would take for their energy to return, enabling them to get dressed.

However, he just held him in his arms, burying his nose in the fine black hair, whose scent he had missed so much.

Gradually, with all his strength, his brain went back to work. Leo and he had had a hot fuck. But what did that mean? Were they together? Leo had talked about a partnership but how far? He could not remain uncertain for a moment longer.   
“You should spend the night at my home…,” he tried nervously, when he felt able to speak. “There is not much, I know you don’t like flashy things... but there a big bed and a warm duvet, if you are willing to share with me,” he suggested, his heart pounding.   
  
Leo did not answer right away, as Raphael's heart paused.   
  
“I can’t, Raph…”   
  
This was not the answer that Raph hoped for, far from it, but he clung to the fact that Leo used the word ‘can’t and not ‘won’t’..   
  
“Why?” he asked all the same, his throat knotted.   
  
Leo let a short time pass. “I can’t. That's all. I don’t wanna talk about it.”   
  
Leo felt the movement of revolt in his lover. “But I can come to meet you tomorrow night and the next nights,” he temporized. “We can fight crime together, as a team, and between two thugs, have sex. But I have to come back before 4 am each night.”   
  
“Who are you? Fucking Cinderella?” Raphael snarled, furious despite that the offer went much further than his hopes of the morning. Yes, fighting at Leo’s side, kissing Leo, was really an appetizing prospect, but that was not what he wanted. Not only that, at least.   
  
"That's all I can offer you," Leo murmured, curling up like a cautious kitten against Raphael's powerful body, begging for warmth.

This bastard must have known that when he played the fragile card he put Raph in his pocket, the Italian-American thought, furious with himself and his weakness for the man he loved. He grumbled an assent and Leo got up unexpectedly for a person who had just undergone such a brutal assault.

"You'll see, we'll have fun," Leo promised, getting dressed, but he was silent as he saw the blood staining Raphael's bandage. “It can wait. In your state, it would be madness. Let's meet again in four or five days,” Leo proposed, concern filling his voice.  
  
Raphael, obstinate, shook his head, while getting dressed, stirred despite him to see Leo looking worried for him “Nah, I'm fine,” he insisted. “It looks worse than it is…”   
  
Leo gave him a look of doubt.   
  
“How can I join you?” Raphael asked to change the conversation.   
  
“No need, I can follow you on my phone. If you don’t move from home because you want to recover, I'll know,” Leo answered quickly, but in front of the disappointed look of his lover, he approached, taking a tender gesture in the other man in his arms.   
  
“I asked you to prove me something and you are about to achieve it. What I do is very dangerous, but I do it all the same because I think that... I love you,” he admitted nervously, the red of his cheeks visible despite the semi-darkness, proving the veracity of this assertion.   
  
The statement, even though Raph had been mentally playing it over a thousand times, was so unexpected that it cut his breath like a blow to the gut. He still had not found anything to answer, his arms dangling and looking at Leo with astonishment.

Not bothering to wait for words of mutual love, Leo was sheathing his katanas, preparing to leave.

“Add katanas for your kit of the perfect G.I. Joe, even if you do not know how to use them. It’s intimating, Leave your grappling hook too. We are not in a comic. You can take a gun, but without the bullets," he explained hastily, touching the bite mark on his collar with an anxious expression. Obviously, he was thinking about how he was going to hide this mark from his cousin, and Raph tried to hold back his jealousy and anger.  
  
Raph was still saying nothing, not having recovered from the shock of Leo's statement yet. Despite the mental slam his brain sent him, his tongue was out of order.   
  
With an ironic pout, before arranging his scarf to hide his face, Leo sent him a kiss and, under Raph's astonished eyes, he threw himself down the 6-story building. Suddenly freed from his paralysis, he rushed to the edge to see if his beloved was hurt, but he had disappeared.   
  
After a moment, when he finally awoke properly from his daydreaming, he realized he was horribly hurt.

Lowering his eyes, he saw that his sexual prowess had opened his wound to the point that the blood had stained his bandage. He had to fix that, he thought, because tomorrow night he had to be in his best shape when he saw Leo again. He pouted briefly, thinking that he had not had time to reveal what he knew about Mikey to his lover; nor had he been able to extract any information from him.

But that did not matter, he thought with a genuine smile, transfiguring his face completely, which never usually reflected that kind of emotion.

Leo loved him and to hear him tell him again, Raph was ready to draw a mural with his own blood.


	24. Snowball

Spring seemed so good and yet the heavy, threatening clouds could not lie.   
  
It was going to snow.   
  
Raph was stood in front of the window of his apartment staring at the sky with a frown. The weather forecast had predicted a storm that was as bad as it was late in the year, but that's not what worried the Nightwatcher. What was causing him concern was behind the curtains of the building opposite. 

He knew that his vigilant partner and crush feared snowstorms, and he wondered how Leo was doing.

He remembered, with a churning sensation in his stomach, their passionate evening the night before. 

After fighting crime again, as they had done together for five days, Raphael had finally convinced his lover, his voice hoarse from what seemed to be a nasty flu, to move onto the sexual part of their evening, in the comfort of his apartment. The room still had the usual woody smell of Leo, and Raphael had masturbated already three times today with the pillow on which the other young man had put the head.

Leo, shortly before 4 o'clock in the morning, had deserted his bed, to go back to his golden jail, in the building across the street. 

The Italian-American clenched his fists. To say that he hated his rival was an understatement. He never ceased to receive the results of the further investigations from his informant. He had asked for a second opinion about Mikey's medication and the informant had promised him that for the next day, along with the complete medical record for the boy and the detailed autopsy report of his lover’s late mother.

His informant had also told him that he had found a man, who knew Doctor Oroku and was very eager to talk; apparently, his confession was significant. After his informant had given a description of this miraculous witness, Raph had understood that it must be Usagi, the same Japanese man who had participated in his father’s conference.

At first, Raph was dubious. The man had been stalking Leo and he seemed unbalanced. His informant admitted that even if that was true, the testimony he got was too clear to have been made-up. Usagi knew secrets about Leo’s father death and hence, Raph’s own mother.

It was not something Raph had expected, thinking at the time that someone from his Italian clan had informed Giancarlo Senzi about his wife’s infidelity. But maybe it had been someone from the outside. Donny had been just a teen at the time, but he already had a University degree. Raph had learned that when he was searching about the motherfucker. Maybe it was the reason for the rift between Cousin Donny and his own family, the Oroku. Perhaps this betrayal had been known and he had been sent away in shame, and the crime hidden.

Despite his rage, Raph had not opened the files attached to the email from the informant. He wanted to wait for Leo, so they could read it together, and anyway, he did not want that anger to blind him too much and make him fuck-up his own mission, getting Leo back at his side.

In twenty hours, he would get to the bottom of the story of Leo’s mother death and could very well confront the doctor. That was the reason he hadn’t told Leo anything yet; he wanted to have irrefutable evidence in his hands when he made his revelations.

Placing his forehead against the glass of the window, he thought back to his partner pressed behind him, hot breath against his ear as they briefly rested, just before the young man with black hair had left. He wanted similar nights every night... but with his lover staying longer.   
  
He wondered if his lover, who associated the snow with the loss of a loved one, would fear for him that night. Raph was, after all, the only person Leo loved, other than his little brother, who was safe with him.

He listened to the roar of the wind, trying not to be too jealous, thinking about what his lover could be doing behind the curtains. Leo had moaned in his arms barely twelve hours ago, but perhaps he was showing the same swooning face to the doctor, he could not help thinking, green with envy.   
  
Leo was his! He was madly in love with him and he knew the other young man had similar feelings. The doctor was only a nuisance. 

That night, Leo had told him not to leave marks. It had made him red with fury and, angrily, he had bitten his partner, then sucked the soft flesh between his teeth, in order to leave a hickey. Leo had been furious and they had fought, rolling in the sheets and the young man with raven-haired hair had bitten and scratched him too. Raphael did not care, happy instead to have a tangible reminder of his night with his lover after he left.

  
His orgasm had been powerful and Leo must have experienced the same thing because he had not risen from the bed immediately, despite his curfew, staying by Raph’s side longer, waiting to regain control of himself.   
  
Suddenly, the light went out and so did the lights in the building opposite. It must have been a general power-outage, caused by the strong winds, and a squall of fluffy clouds blurred the view to justify his theory.   
  
Then, as the wind calmed a little a few minutes later, he saw that the curtains opposite were now open, probably to let in some light.   
  
He took his binoculars, hoping to capture a fleeting vision of his lover, and he was not disappointed. On the other side, a pale face framed by the ebony hair, was haloed by the copper glow from a candle, which he had placed on the window sill. It was like the one he had given him, from the florists, and Raph was exalted at the thought that his lover had found this way to show himself and reassure him. Raph watched as Leo lit a second, placing near the first. 

But his joy was short-lived.

The austere face of Cousin Donny appeared behind Leo and he turned around. Raph watched them interact for a moment, trying to shift the unpleasant presence of the Japanese doctor, to focus on the image of his lover when, suddenly, without Raph understanding why, Leo removed his shirt.   
  
He bit his lip, pale with rage, seeing only Leo's back while the doctor’s gaze seemed to linger on the athlete's body in front of him. 

Suddenly, the unthinkable happened. Cousin Donny slapped Leo.

Raph was struck stupid for a moment and dropped the binoculars, shocked. No doubt the reason behind this violence was Raph's teeth marks on the naked body of Donny’s beloved cousin. Raph, obviously, was not the only one jealous in their love triangle.

  
But no matter the reason, the son of a bitch was going to pay for the outrageous thing he had done to his lover, a hundredfold. To make sure Cousin Donny did not dare put his hand on Leo again, Raph grabbed the binoculars from by his feet and looked through them again.   
  
The hair on the back of his neck stood on end when he saw that Donny, after grabbing Leo's arm, pulled him to the ground. The young man was now on his knees in front of him and Raph did not need any further explanation. He was not going to stay there, like a voyeur, and watch his boyfriend give a blowjob to another man! Particularly not when Leo was forced there, probably because of odious blackmail in connection with his little brother.   
  
He was not going to wait with his arms crossed while Leo prostituted himself in the hope of helping heal an already healthy kid. To the hell with waiting! 

He grabbed his coat and stormed out, too bad about the missing evidence.

Rage consumed him so much that he would not have been surprised to melt the snow under his feet, he radiating that much anger and jealousy as he crossed the space separating the two buildings.   
  
There was no guard at the entrance and the lack of electricity prevented the doorbell from working, but it was not as if Raph had intended to warn anyone of his imminent arrival. With a well-placed kick, he smashed the glass door so as to reach his hand through and turn the latch. 

He finally entered the luxurious hall, which was as antiquated as it was extravagant. But he was not there to admire the walls of Leo’s prison.

  
The elevator was not working either, but climbing about forty floors up the service staircase did not frighten him. Without even having catching his breath, he arrived at the top and, after trying to open the door, he pounded on the door to their suite.   
  
Mikey's face, as he opened, was briefly thrilled but then showed signs of embarrassment, clear, despite the darkness, by the candle he was carrying.

  
“Well... it's not that I'm not happy to see you, but you don’t arrive at the right time and uh... my brother is not here,” the boy lied awkwardly. As if to make the lie more ridiculous, a moan was heard from another room. 

Heart pounding, recognizing his lover's voice during sex, Raphael pushed the little brother away firmly, heading to where the complaints had come from.

Mikey followed at his heels, stammering a pathetic, "it's not what you think..."

He did not even have to smash down any doors. Hearing the ruckus coming from the living-room, Donny appeared, wearing a purple dressing-gown, and with a cold, disapproving expression, obviously unhappy to have had his climax spoiled. He was a complete dichotomy with Raphael, who was blowing flames through his nostrils. 

He did not even bother to explain his presence, and before the doctor could open his mouth, Raph struck him in the jaw with a strong right hook, which threw the Japanese man against the wall.

  
“That was for Leo's slap. And the rest is for my own account, you asshole!" he bellowed. 

With satisfaction, he saw Donny spitting out three teeth, but the sigh behind the Cousin was not as pleasant. Leo was in bed, clearly stunned and barely covered with a bedsheet, leaving no doubt about the nature of activities they had been doing before his arrival. The young man's lips were still bruised by violent kisses, his hair and body glistening from sweat.

This vision of his lover, damp with another man’s sweat, the red spot from the slap still apparent on his face, made Raph absolutely mad and he turned, menacingly, toward the doctor.

Leo came out of his immobility to put on a pair of sports pants that he had been wearing a quarter of an hour earlier, unusually scared. No doubt the young man was apprehensive of his reaction, believing that Raph was about to break up with him. He could not know that Raphael had guessed his motivation. Leo was bedding Donny only for Mikey’s sake. Mikey and the fake illness of his.   
  
“Raph! Stop! I don’t want Mikey to see this!” the young man begged.   
  
Raphael turned to the boy, sending him to his room, but Donny took the opportunity to return the attack, with the stick that served as his ninjutsu weapon. 

Leo, panicked, deflected the shot that he was about to take, slipping between them.

“Don! Stop! Don’t hurt him! He didn’t do anything!” Leo pleaded, facing the doctor, who seemed outraged at the assertion.   
  
“Nothing?” the doctor questioned crossly. “He tries to take you away from me! He is the one who chewed up your neck. Don’t you dare lie to me! You were reeking of sex when you came back from playing hero! It was not from a fight as you dared attempt to make me believe. You are mine since the cradle. I won’t tolerate his interference in our lives anymore.”

“Please, Donny, if you love me, don’t harm him…”

Raphael hated that his lover thought himself obliged to defend him, as if he were only a helpless girl.   
  
“Out the way, Leo. I'll give this cocksucker, incestuous pedophile a good lesson! You don’t belong to him!” Raph roared.   
  
The doctor paled under the insult.   
  
“We’re not related by blood,” he spat coldly, with apparent contempt. “And I was a child myself, at the time. Now, Leo is of age, both in Canada and Japan, and therefore, fully consenting. He shares my bed and my life, of his own free will. Anyway," Donny told him with a grin, "Leo doesn’t love you.”

  
Raphael burst into anger too, though much less calmly than the doctor.   
  
“Kiss my ass! He loves me! He told me so!”   
  
Donny gritted his teeth.   
  
“This is just a bad lie. Leo can’t choose you. He is too pragmatic a person and you are not useful to him anymore. Moreover, you don’t know him as I do, and don’t share our ideals. If I tell him never to see you again, he will obey me, because he doesn’t want to lose me and I don’t want to share him anymore! He only used you to get to your father because that was our goal! He seduced you with my blessing!”   
  
Raphael turned to his lover briskly, wanting to see if he would refute the Cousin's words, but Leo said nothing, staring at the floor. It was expected and Raphael was not surprised. He took the few steps that separated him from his beloved and gently lifted his chin.   
  
“Hey, baby, don’t worry. I know why you don’t say anything. It’s because of the blackmail this bastard has on you, isn’t it? But it's over, now,” he promised. “I had your brother's pills analyzed. It's only a placebo because your brother is not even sick!. This fucker make you believe he was to keep you as a sex-puppet!”   
  
Leo turned his head quickly to his cousin, his eyes full of questions and Raph, relieved, understood that he had been right when he saw indignation distort his lover’s beautiful features. Leo had opened his thighs to his cousin, only for his brother, nothing more.   
  
“I have always found that the kid only suffered from your cooking and lack of fresh air!” Raph declared, feeling encouraged. “I'm also waiting for your mother's autopsy report. At present, my informant has it in hand, as well as a  testimony about your father’s death. I haven’t look at this yet, but I’m sure this asshole is the one holding all the strings. Have you ever thought that the timing of her death was too coincidental to be true?”   
  
He was not sure what he was up to, but he had played enough poker with Casey to bluff.   
  
“These are just lies, Leo; a made up story, like your passion for him!” Don said fiercely, but seeing Leo with an expression at once haggard and angry, he changed his tactics. “Tell him how I convinced you to seduce him and that I closed my eyes to your multiple infidelities with him, as with the girl, in order to reach our goal in New York! That a Buddhist attending a Catholic high school can’t be due to chance! We enrolled you at that school for this very purpose!”   
  
Leo shook his head and protested that Don was just changing the subject, but Raph, very pale, thought back to the words, hurting him more surely than the bo. It was indeed true. Why his school among all the possible places in New York?   
  
Leo, as Johnny had predicted, as Usagi had announced, had seduced him for a purpose. It had only been a plan and Leo, a professional whore. 

Leo, guessing his thoughts, reached out to him, but fearing to be burned by contact, Raphael pulled back.

“Raph, it's not exactly that. I had to seduce Helena, yes, to earn information in order to destabilize the Sicilian mafia. Her father was plotting against yours! But what I feel for you... "   
  
Raphael did not want to listen to the rest. Leo's explanations could wait. He saw Don maneuver for what it was, a desperate attempt to get Raph to abandon chasing Leo. The doctor was then hoping to convince his cousin that Raph had been speaking falsehoods. Leo probably had things to be blamed for, but if the cousin was telling the truth, why would he continue to see him, when the doctor obviously did not want him to? 

The Japanese man had not told the whole truth either, and between him, who had shamelessly lied to his cousin's face about Mikey's health, and his lover, Raph preferred to trust Leo.

  
“I will listen to Leo’s explanation later. Come out and fight me like a man outside. I don’t want Leo and the boy to see this," he explained, pulling out his sais, the first weapon that had fallen under his hand and that he had picked up before leaving his apartment.   
  
The doctor turned pale, understanding that his tactics not had the desired result, but still, he had to recognize courage of his rival, as the latter nodded slightly in acquiescence, heading on the terrace, holding his bo.

Leo, anxiously, tugged at Raphael by his coat.   
  
“Don’t!” he urged. “If you still want me and if what you said is true, I will follow you. No need to use violence.”   
  
Obstinately, the Latino man shook his brown locks.   
  
“Nah. This fucker will annoy us to no-end. He is too rich and powerful. I only want him to give up the idea of chasing you. Let him admit defeat.” He pressed a quick kiss to Leo’s lips. ”Stay with the little one inside.”

The scientist, although he was already outside, having put on trousers and a sweater, must have heard. His expression was tragic when he turned to his rival, but resolved. Raph realized that this would be a fight whose outcome would be much more definitive than he had originally thought. Don would not let go of his cousin, preferring to die that lose him, but if he, Raph, stabbed the doctor with his sai, he did not know how his lover would take it. Not to mention that he would be in trouble. A billionaire philanthropist like Donny Oroku was not a victim whose death would be easy to conceal.   
  
As if to prove him right, Leo clung to his cousin's arm, not seeming ready for the fight to take place.   
  
“Donny, be reasonable. I'm ready to forgive you, but you have to let me go. You lived for many years without me. You built an empire without me. You will survive my leaving,” 

Raph understood the reason for this panic. The snow. Leo’s superstition, fearing, rightly this time, the loss of a loved one.

The Asian man, with a stern face, only shook his head.   
  
“No. I built this empire for us. Everything I did was for you. Without you by my side, it doesn’t mean anything.” 

For Raph, it’s sounded like an admission. Donny had tainted his hands in blood, years ago, to get Leo back to him. Even Raph’s mother murder, and probably many other deaths. If Raph went down, he would make sure to bring this evil schemer down with him. Leo wouldn't be his, but at least would be free.

Leo was not going to back down, and seeing this, Donny raise his bo, much to the horror of Raph, and hit the young man at a particular point of the head. Leo slipped, lifeless, onto the terrace, which was already covered with a thick white carpet of snow.   
  
“Don’t worry. He has only lost consciousness. Let's carry him inside to the bed, so he doesn’t get a cold.”

The two rivals carried the unconscious boy to the bed and Donny, with tenderness, slipped the Leo under the covers. Then they went back outside.   
  
"If I don’t get out alive," the doctor explained in a low voice, "remember that Leo’s lungs are fragile, mainly in winter. Black coffee helps to clear his bronchi, but he hates it, so don’t listen to his whining.”   
  
Raphael did not know what to say to this advice, suddenly having almost pity on the doctor, still so caring despite Leo not loving him. But Donny gave him a serious look.   
  
“Let me make it clear, I have no intention of dying.”

“Me neither,” Raph told him, as they lunged at each other.

\---

They had been fighting for nearly an hour, and Raph had to admit that the bo, in expert hands, could be a formidable weapon. 

Trying to block a blow aimed at his head with too sharp a movement, he felt his wound open again. In a week, it had not had time to heal properly, especially with all the activities he had been engaging in, whether that be capturing criminals or indulging the screaming pleasure of his lover.

  
He felt the blood run from his freshly opened wound and it stained the snow with scarlet flowers. He tried not to pay attention to it, however, concentrating on parrying the blows, not knowing how to end this fight, when he could neither kill nor die. 

He fell to his knees, and upon seeing the stains of blood that followed his wake, his eyes widened. The red of his blood was almost poetic, he thought, exhausted and leaning on one of the many gargoyles situated around the terrace as he caught his breath.

Donny, though not having Leo's strength, defended himself well and most importantly, he was not hurt. On the other hand, the doctor seemed tired too, so Raphael allowed himself to close his eyes for a moment. Anyway, the doctor could not kill him with a stick.

When he opened them, he saw the doctor, balancing on the balustrade, a manic smile on his lips. A curved blade had magically emerged from the bo, in his rush to decapitate his rival, who had been, until then, too big for him.   
  
Raph thought his last hour had come and he had but a fleeting thought for his lover, that he wouldn’t see him again in this life, when the doctor, received a snowball in the face, blinding him and... causing him to lose his balance.   
  
In a last cry, of which the last syllable ‘o’ sounded for a mortally long time, Don tilted backward and disappeared over the edge. 

Raph anxiously ran to the railing, and witnessed him plummet forty stories down to the pavement below.

The cousin Donny was indeed dead, making a much less poetic coral flower.   
  
He turned around to understand the reason for this miracle, expecting to see Leo, but finding Mikey there instead, his blue eyes shimmering like gems.   
  
“You... why?” stammered Raphael. “You've known him for a lot longer than me. Why take my side?”   
  
“I was in the car, the day of the accident,” the kid answered in a polar voice, similar to the one Leo often used. “My mother had asked me to talk to her, to keep her awake... I fell asleep. I never sleep in a car. What a odd coincidence.”   
  
Raphael remained silent, understanding the implication.   
  
“She wanted to see a new doctor ... without mentioning them to Donny. She refused to believe his diagnosis. He had to hope that I would die too. He killed my mother and ruined my life. He tormented and manipulated my brother into yielding to him and had to have paid doctors to recite lies or tamper with results. He blatantly abused his power. I think they’re pretty good reasons. You won’t have anything to explain to the cops or Leo. I will say it was me, and that it was an accident. Admit that for a child who had never made a snowball before, I aim rather well!”   
  
Raph nodded, still stunned and, he thought, probably about to faint.   
  
“Then, you make my brother happy. I don’t know anything about their schemes, but I know Leo loves you. Maybe not since the beginning, but he has fallen in love with you, certainly. And mostly, Donny didn’t know how to cook and didn’t like Batman like you do,” the boy finished with a grin, despite his still sad and worried eyes.   
  
Raph opened his mouth to reprimand the boy, who dared to joke at such a moment, but he sank into unconsciousness.

\---

When he woke up, he was in the hospital, Leo's beautiful face leaning over him, smiling. Mikey, April and Casey were there too, not to mention countless loads of red roses which the heavy perfume was about to worsen his migraine.   
  
“What’s happening? Why all the flowers? I have the impression of being at my own funeral,” protested the bedridden man.   
  
Leo blushed and Raph found him adorable.   
  
“I thought you liked red roses... I admit that... I didn’t know what to choose. You're my first boyfriend that ‘ve had toI visit in intensive care,” Leo argued, trying  to justify himself.   
  
Raphael said nothing, weighing the words and the boyfriend title.   
  
“Listen, if you don’t want me…” Leo explained in a low voice and with a shameful expression, misunderstanding the reason for his silence.   
  
“Shut up!” Raphael cut him off kissing him with great passion for a wounded man.   
  
“But…”   
  
“No, I don’t care about your plans and other shenanigans. If you say that you love me and that from now on, there are no more lies between us, neither on side nor the other, the rest doesn’t matter.”   
  
Raphael scrutinized him with great intensity and Leo took his hand.   
  
“I promise you, but in exchange, I have to ask you something. In fact, one of the two requests is from Mikey. He says he wants you to teach him how to cook and that you feed him until he knows how," the big brother explained with a kind smile to his younger brother.   
  
“So, we will be together every day?” Raphael questioned, his eyes bright. If he had to do that, it could only mean that Leo planned to stay with him.   
  
“It depends on you ... I've ... inherited. And I want to leave New York. Go somewhere far away, where it never has snowstorms. So, I bought a house on a small island... Capri. I thought I wanted to perfect the Italian language to uh... understand what you tell me at some precise times,” Leo explained with a slight blush. ”So, do you agree to come with me?”   
  
Raphael thought of the scandal caused by a homosexual couple in Campania and told himself that it was the place where the Emperor Tiberius had hidden more shocking orgies. He smiled, happy to be able to reconnect with his roots and forget his dramatic youth.   
  
“I agree. I’ll give you Italian lessons and cooking ones to Mikey, but I want to experience ALL Japanese culture, even the weirdest,” he insisted with a lustful look that left no doubt about the erotic insinuation of his request. “I always wondered what Geisha really does,” he said, picturing Leo, with red lips and a butterflies pattern silk kimono, already turned on by the idea.

Leo considered it a moment.

“It's a deal” Leo smiled.

 

Fin 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, another Evil Donnie story, but in Burn with me, he is very sweet. I try to keep a balance, as I do with the happy and sad ending.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the Montréal things. I was looking for a nordic city and for once, I know what I talking about


End file.
